Conflict is inevitable in marriage. But often couples assume that all conflict is bad or wrong and believe the goal is to eliminate it altogether. But my guest today has a different approach when it comes to conflict in marriage. 

His name is Andrew Arthur and he is a mediation specialist with both personal experience and professional expertise in addressing conflict in marriage. In this episode, Andrew helps us to normalize the reality of conflict, gives a simple definition of conflict, how to navigate the needs and interests of both parties in the conflict, and unpacks the 5 specific “conflict styles” and how they intersect in marriage. 

If your marriage is struggling with conflict and how to resolve it in constructive ways, this conversation with Andrew will help. 

To learn more about Andrew and the mediation services he offers, visit GenesisChristianMediation.com.

More Resources:

• Find a Counselor
• Prepare-Enrich
• 40 Days of Oneness

Related Podcasts:

• I'd Rather We Fight than Not
• Helping Couples Walk the Path of Restoration After Sexual Betrayal
• The Goal is Connecting

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Today’s subject matter is something we rarely like to talk about but is extremely necessary for parents considering the sexualized culture we live in. Our topic is protecting your child from predators. 

Our guest is Dr. Beth Robinson, a licensed professional counselor, professor, and certified school counselor with over 25 years of experience in caring for traumatized children and educating parents on how to better protect their children from danger. 

In our discussion, Dr. Beth helps parents deal with their fears around this topic, when and how to talk to their kids about sex and safety, how to choose a babysitter, what to do if parents think their child is a victim of sexual abuse, addressing technology, and more. 

To learn more about Beth and the resources available to parents who want to better protect their kids, visit KidsCallMeDoc.com.

More Resources:

• Protecting Your Child from Predators by Dr. Beth Robinson
• The Safe Touch Coloring Book
• Critical Conversations Webinar for Parents

Related Podcasts:

• Keeping Kids Safe in a Digital World
• God Made Boys and Girls
• Fighting Fears of Talking to Your Kids About Sex

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A life of peace and joy and hope is intimately tied to one’s ability to connect well in relationships. And when you have experienced trauma or addiction or shame this skill can seem virtually impossible to imagine. 

In today’s episode, Stephen brings a multitude of comments made by men who struggle to connect well in their relationships. We unpack these comments in hopes of helping you gain insight into your own connecting skills and make appropriate tweaks to improve.

More Resources:

• Untangling Emotions by Groves and Smith
• Growth Map: The Pathway to Peace, Rest, and Joy
• 40 Days of Training for Your Soul

Related Podcasts:

• 15 Rules of Emotionally Detached Men
• Why Men Struggle to Love
• How to Know Yourself to Grow and Mature

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Boundaries are essential after betrayal, but few have any experience of knowing what boundaries to set and how to set them.

In this episode, Tammy Gustafson helps us navigate this delicate but necessary topic. Tammy is a licensed counselor who is passionate about helping women recover from trauma, PTSD, and betrayal. 

Boundaries are more than just drawing lines and enforcing consequences when they are crossed. They are about safety, responsibility, self-care, and the building (or rebuilding) of healthy relationships. 

To learn more about Tammy and her resources, visit BetrayalHealing.com.

More Resources:

• Betrayal Healing Courses
• Wives Care Groups
• First 7 Days for Wives

Related Podcasts:

• The Why and How of Boundaries in a Recovering Marriage
• Boundaries for Wives
• More Boundaries for Wives

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Addiction can be simply defined as a repeated cycle of unhealthy or harmful behaviors that gets worse over time. In order to break free from addiction, recovery must include understanding this cycle and how to respond differently to its triggers.

Today’s guest is Vern Tompke, a 30-year pastor, podcaster, and founder of Band of Brothers, a community of men helping men find freedom from unwanted sexual behaviors. Vern has developed what he calls the Stopwatch Acting Out Cycle as a tool for helping men understand their addictive cycle and how to respond more quickly when tempted to go down old paths of self-destructive behaviors. 

To learn more about Vern and his resources, visit BandofBrothers.care or Vern's Podcasts.

Download the Stopwatch Acting Out Cycle Diagram

More Resources:

• Finding Traction Course
• Gateway to Freedom Workshop for Men
• Find a Counselor

Related Podcasts:

• Beating Porn Through All Ages and Stages of Life
• Exposing the True Impact of Porn
• Breaking Free with Russell Willingham

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There is an old saying used in Alcoholics Anonymous, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.” Also, you may have heard of a simple statement to describe insanity: “Doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different outcome.”

If you want to be free from destructive and unhealthy patterns in your life, change must happen. But how can you know if change is actually occurring? 

In today’s episode, Stephen and I will unpack some core principles and practices that will indicate if true change is happening.

More Resources:

• 40 Days of Purity for Men
• Untangling Emotions
• Find a Group

Related Podcasts:

• Addicted Thinking vs. Healthy Thinking
• How Do I Know He is Changing?
• For Men Who Want to Finish Strong

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For 20 years our ministry has been helping men break free from unwanted sexual behaviors and pursue a life of integrity and purpose. And most of these men are married – all of whom need lots of growth in the area of emotional health and maturity. 

Today, I get to interview Doctor Marriage. You have known him as my cohort and co-host, Stephen Cervantes. But he is a true expert on the topic of marriage and what it takes for husbands, especially, to revolutionize their marriage by focusing on emotional growth. 

In this episode, we highlight three of Stephen’s workbook resources to help husbands grow emotionally: 

• 49 Days of Growth: Growing in Emotional Skills
• Growth Map: The Pathway to Peace, Rest, and Joy
• 40 Days to Oneness: Start Connecting with Your Spouse

To learn more about these resources and how to buy them, visit DoctorMarriage.org.

More Resources:

• Gateway to Freedom workshop for men
• Wives Care Groups
• HusbandMaterial.com

Related Podcasts:

• About Your Emotional Connecting Skills
• Are You Open or Closed to Emotional Growth?
• What Can Stunt Your Emotional Growth Mission?

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Many Christian leaders struggle silently with various sexual temptations and sin. And too many never get the help they need to heal and grow in their personal sexual integrity. 

Today our guest is Jorge Suarez, co-founder of CCI Counseling, a counseling ministry that provides therapy to couples as they overcome infidelity, sexual addiction, a lack of intimacy, betrayal trauma, and intimacy disorders. Jorge especially has a heart for leaders and helping them live out their God-given purpose. 

In our conversation, we talk about the four key areas where leaders (and anyone, really) need health in order to thrive: 

1. Emotional
2. Spiritual
3. Relational
4. Sexual

If you are a leader or want to help Christian leaders in your life, this conversation will inspire and encourage you toward greater health and wholeness. 

To connect with Jorge for further help, visit CCICounseling.com.

More Resources:

• Broken Vessels: Restoring Broken Pastors for Kingdom Use
• Gateway to Freedom 3-Day Intensive
• The Christian Response to Moral Failure in the Church

Related Podcasts:

• Restoring Broken Pastors for Kingdom Use
• A Hopeful Response to Church Leaders Struggling with Sexual Sin
• Pastors on Porn

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In the best of circumstances, marriage is hard work. But when a couple has histories of brokenness and unresolved pain, it’s even more challenging. 

Today’s guests are Travis and Adelle Graham, founders of The Noble Marriage, a ministry dedicated to helping struggling marriages discover true intimacy. 

Travis and Adelle share their broken pasts (even though raised in Christian homes) and how that affected their marriage; how it led them both to build false images about themselves and their relationship. Eventually, their masks were removed in favor of pursuing an authentic relationship with Christ and each other. This is their story and a message of hope for couples wondering if their struggling relationship can be redeemed. 

To learn more about Travis and Adelle and their marriage resources, visit TheNobleMarriage.com.

More Resources:

• Online Marriage Academy
• Genesis Christian Mediation
• 40 Days of Oneness by Stephen Cervantes (paid link)

Related Podcasts:

• The Recovery Process for Couples
• God, Sex, and Your Marriage
• Rebuilding Your Marriage After Sexual Betrayal

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We all have a story. And stories are one of the things we value greatly in our ministry. Why? Because it is through our stories that we connect and discover and learn.

Today’s guest is Neil Getzlow and he has quite a story to tell. He was raised in a Jewish home but eventually left his family tradition in preference of atheism. Along the way, he developed a porn and sex addiction, which made him miserable. Eventually, God chased him down and invited him to stop running and instead find rest and freedom in Christ. 

Neil shares his experience of needing to learn how to be alone as a kid, how he was introduced to porn, the effect of his parent’s divorce, and how he came to believe that love and sex were basically the same things. He also shares the radical way in which God broke him out of his secret addiction and led him to a place of truth, grace, and hope.

To learn more about Neil and get his book, visit NeilGetzlow.com.

More Resources:

• Unmasked (book)
• Unmasked Podcast with Neil
• Bebroken.org/men

Related Podcasts:

• Keys to Long-Term Freedom from Unwanted Behaviors
• The Importance of Whole Man Recovery
• Becoming the Type of Man Who Doesn't Look at Porn

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