Psychologists Off the Clock

Self-forgiveness doesn’t come easily. For some, the shame and withdrawal that come with holding incredible bitterness and animosity towards oneself can take over for years, and in some instances, a lifetime, if left unaddressed. In an interview with Grant Dewar, psychologist and author of The Self-Forgiveness Workbook, he describes real-world examples of how to develop mindfulness and compassion skills to overcome self-blame and find true self-acceptance. We hear of Grant’s personal history with guilt and come to understand why self-forgiveness is not a simple decision but rather an ongoing process that requires training. 

Hi, It has been good to spend time with you, as a son, brother father, partner, I have found throughout my life that we need tools to rid ourselves of unnecessary burdens that life is always ready to heap upon us. As a work health and safety professional, trainer and now author I have learnt that while we are all unique and precious beyond telling we also share a common humanity, which comes to us as this incredibly complex gift of life that is always giving but sometimes not in a way we understand. From this experience of assisting thousands of people to navigate the complexities of their working and private lives, I have found consistently that the skills of self-forgiveness assist us face all manner of challenges, both defeats and victories, mistakes and successes, setbacks and even smooth running. Every turn we take every choice we make , brings us new challenges, new decisions and new risks. Our ability to face those experiences with clarity and our full capabilities is enhanced when we are able to do the work of self-forgiveness to deal with the unexpected consequences of following our life’s calling. I have had many twists and turns in my life pathway and have faced my own mortality and the loss of loved ones. My career has been dotted with both success and failures. In each of these challenges I have been able to apply the sorts of skills that I have researched to my own pathway. I have then been able to help teach others the skills I have discovered through my studies in Work Health and Safety, a Masters Degree focused on Adult Education, and a Doctorate in researching the science of self-forgiveness as a tool for lifelong learning.

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It's time to have a no-BS discussion about something that all of us have struggled with at some point in our long-term relationships: maintaining a sexual connection. If this speaks to you and you feel like you’re stuck with poor advice on how to navigate the situation, meet our guest, Emily Nagoski, a sex educator and author of Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections. With scientific evidence, wit, and compassion, Emily joins Jill on POTC to debunk the myths we've been fed about sex, show us what real great sex can look like, offer a fresh outlook on what might be blocking us from enjoying sex, and explain how to communicate our sexual desires more effectively. Her insights are sure to revolutionize the way you think about sexual connections and give you a newfound understanding of yourself, your body, and your relationship.

EMILY NAGOSKI is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling book Come as You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. She is here today to talk about her new book, Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections.

Emily earned an M.S. in counseling and a Ph.D. in health behavior, both from Indiana University, with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute. Now she combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She lives in Massachusetts with two dogs, a cat, and a cartoonist.

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Research shows that somewhere between 2 and 6% of the population struggles with BFRBs at a clinical level, which can include behaviors like hair-pulling, skin-picking, and nail-biting (among others). What differentiates BFRBs from other self-grooming behaviors, though, is the unintentional harm they cause to the body and the lack of successful efforts to stop them. To gain a better understanding of these difficult-to-control behaviors that can have detrimental effects on mental and emotional well-being, Michael interviewed clinical psychologists Marla Deibler and Renae Reinardy. If you're looking to recover from body-focused repetitive behavior, Marla and Renae, who coauthored The BFRB Recovery Workbook, are here to provide up-to-date behavioral science and evidence-based tools specifically tailored to meet your individual needs and help you transform your life for the better!

Order your copy of The BFRB Recovery Workbook: https://a.co/d/5pFMEGM

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It's disheartening to see how burnout has become increasingly widespread. We understand how overwhelming it can be, and we're here to support you in finding ways to overcome it. For this very special episode, all four POTC cohosts come together to celebrate Debbie's new book, ACT for Burnout: Recharge, Reconnect, and Transform Burnout with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. This incredible resource can teach you so much about burnout, its dimensions, and how to manage it effectively. You will also learn how this book can be a valuable tool in preventing burnout from happening in the first place. If you’re experiencing signs of burnout, this is an episode you won't want to miss! 

Use the code “BURNOUT20” for 20% off of ACT for Burnout on the Jessica Kingsley Publishers US site! Link here to have the code pre-applied at checkout: https://us.jkp.com/discount/BURNOUT20?redirect=%2Fproducts%2Fact-for-burnout 

Debbie (she/her) is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Denver, Colorado with a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Anthropology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and a Ph.D. in Psychology from Harvard University. She is the author of the upcoming book ACT for Burnout: Recharge, Reconnect, and Transform Burnout with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and co-author of ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. And of course, she’s a long-time cohost of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast! She loves living in Colorado, her home state, with her husband, two daughters, and dog. When she’s not busy working or podcasting, she enjoys reading fiction, cooking, traveling, and getting outdoors in the beautiful Rocky Mountains! You can learn more about Debbie, read her blog, and find out about upcoming presentations and training events at her webpage, drdebbiesorensen.com.

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Puberty can be a very confusing and transformative time, full of physical and emotional changes that can be both exciting and challenging to navigate. As your children go through this phase, they may need your support and guidance more than ever. Joining us for a conversation all about all things puberty are Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, the coauthors of national bestseller, This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained. If you are the parent of children who are approaching or already going through this time of rapid growth and development, Cara and Vanessa's science-based explanations, compassionate and realistic advice on talking to tweens about difficult topics from mood swings to pornography, along with in-depth knowledge on understanding teen culture are sure to validate and empower you in your parenting journey. 

Cara Natterson, MD is a pediatrician and New York Times bestselling author; Vanessa Kroll Bennett is a puberty educator and writer. Together, they host The Puberty Podcast; run Order of Magnitude, the leading brand dedicated to flipping puberty positive; and are co-authors of the bestselling This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained (Rodale Books, Oct 2023). Cara and Vanessa can be found on Instagram and TikTok @spillingthepubertea. Perhaps their biggest cred, however, is that between them, they parent six teens.

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Is wellness something you would like to bring into your life this year? Then our first POTC episode of 2024, featuring Sharon Salzberg, a pioneer of meditation and world-renowned teacher, is a gold mine! Going deep into Sharon's many years of experience practicing and teaching mindfulness, we unpack principles from her work and latest book, Real Happiness: A 28-Day Program to Realize the Power of Meditation. One of the most empowering lessons from Sharon is that mindfulness is not just a practice but a trainable quality. She affirms many paths to building the quality of mindfulness, which goes way beyond the traditional formal practices. It's so refreshing how she describes the practice and benefits of mindfulness in a realistic way and doesn't promise a magical cure for eternal happiness. Having Sharon's voice on the podcast is an honor; her message and outlook on life will undoubtedly bring you heaps of value. 

Sharon Salzberg is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is among the first to bring mindfulness and lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture nearly 50 years ago, inspiring generations of meditation teachers and wellness influencers. Sharon is co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA, and the author of thirteen books, including the New York Times bestseller Real Happiness, now in its second edition, and her seminal work, Lovingkindness. In 2023, Sharon is releasing two new books. The first, Real Life, is now available from Flatiron Books in hardcover, ebook, and audiobook formats. The second, Finding Your Way, is a small gift book now available from Workman Publishing in hardcover and ebook formats. Sharon’s podcast, The Metta Hour, has amassed six million downloads and features interviews with thought leaders from the mindfulness movement and beyond. www.sharonsalzberg.com

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As yet another incredible year comes to a close, the POTC cohosts, Debbie, Jill, Michael, and Emily, gather for the final episode of 2023 in a cozy fireside chat. Kicking off the episode, they reflect on some of the obstacles they faced this past year as well as share some of the valuable lessons they’ve learned along the way. Looking optimistically into the year to come, they get pumped about their aspirations for 2024 and wrap up the chat with a spirited speed-round. Intrigued to know their holiday season pet peeves, what dirty little secrets they’ve been hiding, and the game-changing buys they’ve made that cost less than a Benjamin?! Make sure to listen all the way to the end of the episode! Happy holidays, off-the-clockers! See you again in the new year!

Emily (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in pediatric health psychology who works in private practice with children, teens, and adults. She has a BA in English from Smith College, a PhD in clinical psychology from Loyola University Chicago, and completed postgraduate training at Stanford and Children’s Hospital Orange County. Emily spent almost ten years working in children’s hospitals before pivoting to private practice, which allowed her to start a writing career. Emily has written her blog, The Art and Science of Mom, since 2017 and a parenting advice column for Parents.com since 2019. Emily’s writing has also appeared in the Washington Post, Scary Mommy, Good Housekeeping, Motherly, and more. She recently added author to her bio with her book, Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent Confident Children and has a Substack newsletter.

Debbie (she/her) is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Denver, Colorado with a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Anthropology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and a Ph.D. in Psychology from Harvard University. She is author of the upcoming book ACT for Burnout: Recharge, Reconnect, and Transform Burnout with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and co-author of ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. drdebbiesorensen.com.

Jill Stoddard is passionate about sharing science-backed ideas from psychology to help people thrive. She is a psychologist, writer, TEDx speaker, award-winning teacher, peer-reviewed ACT trainer, and co-host of the popular Psychologists Off the Clock podcast. Dr. Stoddard is the author of three books: The Big Book of ACT Metaphors: A Practitioner’s Guide to Experiential Exercises and Metaphors in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy; Be Mighty: A Woman’s Guide to Liberation from Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Using Mindfulness and Acceptance; and Imposter No More: Overcome Self-doubt and Imposterism to Cultivate a Successful Career.

Michael (he/him) is a confidence trainer and social skills coach, based in Vienna, Austria. He’s helping his clients overcome their social anxiety through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and fun exposure exercises. (Though the jury is still out on whether they’re mostly fun for him). He is also a certified therapeutic game master, utilizing the Dungeons&Dragons tabletop roleplaying game to train communication, assertiveness, and teamwork with young adults. Or actually, anyone ready to roll some dice and battle goblins in a supportive group where players want to level up (pun!) their social skills.

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Since we were introduced to Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges in the early nineties, the concept has revolutionized our understanding of the connection between safety and well-being and transformed trauma interventions and therapeutic interactions, inspiring researchers and clinicians to approach things in new ways. Here to enlighten us through real-world examples and themes from their book, Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us, are father and son, Stephen and Seth Porges. Tune in to gain a whole new outlook on what our body does based on how safe we feel and learn practical ways in which we can help one another feel safe.

Stephen W. Porges, Ph.D. is a Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University where he is the founding director of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium. He is Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina, and Professor Emeritus at both the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Maryland. He lives in Atlantic Beach, Florida. 

Seth Porges is a journalist and filmmaker. He directed the critically acclaimed documentary Class Action Park (HBO Max). He lives in Atlantic Beach, Florida, and Brooklyn, New York. 

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The fact is that, next to sleep, we spend the most hours of a lifetime in the workplace. It's true, even though it is a bitter pill to swallow. That's why Michelle P. King argues the idea that we can only find fulfillment and purpose outside of work. Having a job takes up so much of our day-to-day lives, so we must strive to find meaning in it and understand the unspoken rules that lie beneath the surface. Discussing Michelle’s book How Work Works: The Subtle Science of Getting Ahead Without Losing Yourself, we shed some light on the path to achieving our career ambitions without compromising our identities.

Dr. Michelle P. King+ is an award-winning academic and globally recognized expert on inequality and organizational culture. Her second book, How Work Works: The Subtle Science of Getting Ahead Without Losing Yourself, publishes internationally on October 10th, 2023 (HarperCollins). 

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Middle school can be such a stressful experience for kids, their parents, and educators alike. It's a time of change, pressure, and uncharted territory that can be extremely overwhelming. In this conversation, Emily Edlynn speaks with the author of Middle School Superpowers: Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times, Phyllis Fagell, who has crafted a science-backed and compassionate resource for parents and educators to support middle schoolers through the most challenging situations. You will learn why this particular age group has the capacity for remarkable growth and resilience and why adults should not be afraid of this stage of life—instead, concentrate on the strengths and skills that can be cultivated during it. We invite you to listen to this episode for actionable strategies and skills to help your tweens thrive and become more resilient in a world that can be chaotic and anxiety-inducing. From managing rejection, friendships, and self-regulating emotions to academic performance and recovering from setbacks, Phyllis’ advice is invaluable. 

Phyllis Fagell is a practicing school counselor, a psychotherapist who works with children and teens in private practice, and an author and journalist. She is the author of "MIDDLE SCHOOL MATTERS, The 10 Key Skills Kids Need to Thrive in Middle School and Beyond – and How Parents Can Help," and her most recent book that we’re discussing today: "MIDDLE SCHOOL SUPERPOWERS, Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times." Phyllis is a frequent contributor to publications such as The Washington Post and CNN, and her ideas have been shared in outlets including The New York Times, NPR, The Chicago Tribune, and The Atlantic. Phyllis has three children and lives in Bethesda, MD.

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