Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

Quiet Borderline Inner Persecution and Codependent Reactionary Projection


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Quiet Borderline Inner Persecution and Codependent Reactionary Projection

People who are Quiet Borderlines, the Discouraged sub-type of BPD, when triggered 
have a fawn/freeze response. They withdraw. You can't pull words out of them. They
don't hear you. They may take space, or ghost you in a patterned way, and you don't
get it. You are trying to understand what the quiet borderline is doing. Many with
Codependency think that it is the Quiet Borderline creating conflict when very often
that's not the case. They are re-experiencing "lack of self" as the introjected
persecutory object they were to a parent. People with Codependency need to understand
your (often unconscious) reactionary projection about a significant part of the conflict
that you experience and think is all coming from the person with Quiet BPD. Codependents
will benefit from stopping their own repetition compulsion of pursuit of a Quiet Borderline
who is deep inside re-experiencing inner persecution - they take on the role of the 
wounding parent or parents and that's not seeking conflict or any type of fight/flight.

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Surviving BPD Relationship BreakupsBy A.J. Mahari

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