As a sports mom, I know you want your athlete daughter to be confident, achieve her goals and enjoy what she's doing. I also know that many of you take it upon yourself to ensure that this happens for your daughter. You do things like get her to practice, allow her to try out for the right teams, buy her the gear, get private coaching, and so much more. 

You provide all these opportunities for her in terms of her physical preparation. And then there’s the pep talks, the shoulder to cry on, the tough love. There's so much that goes into this journey!

While there's a lot that you can control and should hone in on and maximize, we're going to talk specifically about some things you don't have control over. I see a lot of female athlete moms get it wrong as they mix up what they can control with what they can't control, especially when it comes to their daughter’s mental game.

So, here are some aspects of your daughter's game over which you have no control:

#1: Her Outcomes

Her outcomes, or the results she achieves on the court/field/mat, are beyond your control. This includes how many points she scores, whether she wins or loses, how quickly she learns, the team she forms, or the position she performs on her team. Her outcomes are ultimately not in her control and they aren't in your control either. The more you focus on the outcomes, the more pressure she feels.

#2: Her Thoughts

You can influence her thoughts about herself by what you say and do. Your words become her inner voice. You can not control this part of your daughter's mental game. You can't control her thoughts. You need to let go of trying to change her and trying to change her mind. 

#3: Her Interests/Passions

Let her be the leader of her sports journey. What she wants might be different than what you're interested in or want. What she wants might be different than what you want for her. This also includes her motivation - you can't control that either.

By knowing what's in your control you can;

1. Shape the environment - through your thoughts, words, and actions. How you show up influences the environment in which she is in every day! You impact her confidence through your own beliefs, words, and actions.
2. Provide the opportunities - give her chances to work on her mindset, grow her game, and do the things she loves!

Let go of focusing on her outcomes and stop worrying about the losses even if you're a competitive person. If you are competitive, focus on the process. 

Don't worry if she decides to shift her sport, you can't control her passion. The best thing you can do is encourage that, cultivate it, and allow her to trust herself for what's working. And when it's not working, encourage her to follow her gut and let it go. 

Start by being a role model for her and by giving her the chance to train her mental game. 

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Helpful Links:

• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Join our FREE training for Sports Moms](FREE Training | How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter's Mental Game) - How To Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game Without Being Pushy Or Saying The Wrong Thing.

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

Meditation and gratitude can change lives. I know that's a bold claim, but you will find through today’s conversation that the way our guest approaches these skills really is transformational and it will change your life and in turn, help your daughter.This is an opportunity for Sports Moms to do their own personal work as well to influence their daughter’s environment.

Today, we're talking about meditation and gratitude with our special guest, Lori Saitz. Lori is the CEO of Zen Rabbit, and she is a transformational meditation coach. She helps high performers transform their minds from stressful and chaotic, to calm and focused through her collaborative approach. She guides them to increase focus, energy, and happiness.

Tune in as we talk about meditation and gratitude. You’ll learn some tangible ways that you can incorporate both and also help your female athlete in her sport.

What meditation and gratitude is and the importance of it in our daily lives

Meditation can be defined as engaging in contemplation, reflection, and/or mental exercises to reach a higher level of awareness. Many of us are aware that there are a lot of benefits to meditation, yet most of us don’t practice it regularly. 

Meditation decreases anxiety and increases resilience. It helps people spend less time thinking about their past mistakes which is important for athletes and their parents.

Meditation also allows moms to show up as the sports parent they want to be; a Mom with good emotional stability is able to help provide a calm environment for her daughter. Meditation practices are also something that a mom and daughter can create as a shared experience with one another.

Gratitude, then, is defined by the quality of being thankful and expressing appreciation.

If you want your daughter to learn how to meditate and be in a place of gratitude you have to start meditation and being grateful yourself. It is more effective when you set yourself as an example vs. telling them what to do without practicing your advice. 

To sum it up;

• Meditation and gratitude help people/athletes perform better in any circumstance. It allows us to control and create a calm environment which is better practice to influence your daughter or the people around you.
• You can practice meditation and gratitude by recognizing what you feel and then look for something to be grateful about.
• Set up your day in the right direction by giving time to meditate, reflect and be present.

Meditation is an investment in yourself and helps your female athletes be more confident with how they handle themselves in any type of circumstances. 

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Helpful Links:

• Hang out with Lori Saitz on social @zen_rabbit and learn more about working with her!
• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Join our FREE Training - How To Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game Without Being Pushy Or Saying The Wrong Thing
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

What do you say to your daughter when she’s beating herself after mistakes?

Here’s a question from one of our Sports Moms Inner Circle moms relating to this kind of struggle. 

“My daughter plays well in games, at least I think she does, but afterward, she won't stop beating herself up over a few mistakes. I usually try to tell her to move on and remember all the good things she did. However, it doesn't really seem to work. Any suggestions on how to help her get over those mistakes and focus on what she had right instead?”

If you’re a sports mom, then you’ve probably been in this kind of situation. And every athlete has this struggle at some point in their sports journey. When your female athlete starts thinking and saying negative things about herself, what is the right thing to say?

Today we’re going to talk about why this happens and the different strategies you can use to help your daughter in these kinds of situations.

Struggle With Perfectionism 

Beating herself up after mistakes is often found in athletes who suffer from a touch of perfectionism. Everything has to be perfect or exactly right or they are unable to feel good about themselves. They're frightened of disappointing their coaches, teammates, and you. They simply do not want to make mistakes for fear of disappointing others or lack a strategy or method for recovering from failures.

Focusing on The Process

Athletes who struggle with negative thoughts need to have a really solid post-competition routine, that is how to focus on the process. This is something we teach inside the Elite Competitor Program. We train athletes in a very specific post-competition routine so that they can productively evaluate their performance. Because a lot of times, if they don't have a productive way to process, they get stuck with focusing on outcomes. 

Help them to be process-wise instead of outcome-wise. 

L-O-V-E

We also teach a framework around this post-competition in our Elite Competitor Program so that sports parents have a routine to fall back on when supporting their daughter post-competition.

And the one that we teach is love… L-O-V-E. 

Each of those letters stands for something different, but I wanted to focus today on the most important point of  L-O-V-E and that is the letter V which symbolizes the word “VALIDATE”.

VALIDATE her sentiments and what she says. It might be as simple as one sentence. Allow her that room rather than forcing her to rush through the scenario.

In summary, there are various reasons why athletes struggle with these negative thoughts. It might be because of some underlying perfectionism. Help her process her experiences with a post-competition routine, validate her feelings, and help her focus on process versus outcome. 

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Helpful Links:

• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

How do we become the moms that our female athletes need? Do we have to know everything about their sport? Is it enough to just tell them to have fun during the competition?

As a sports mom, you would no doubt raise these questions in your intent to support your athlete daughters. Do know that by raising these concerns, you have also made the first and most important step to be the parent that your daughter needs.

In a recent interview with one mom in our Elite Competitor Program, we hear about her transformative experience of becoming the sports mom that her daughter needs. She has shared so many nuggets of wisdom and we are breaking these down for you.

Show her you trust her.

Remember that as a parent, your role is already chosen for you. You’re the mom who is your daughter’s main source of support. To do this, you have to trust your daughter that she knows what she’s doing as an athlete. 

Let her know she is improving.

Mistakes will be inevitable whether in sport or in life. As a mom, you want to help and might be tempted to provide coaching. But what your daughter really needs from you is just your support and love. By directing her focus on what she has improved on, you are also helping her navigate through the reality that mistakes are normal and can be learned from.

Realize that only your daughter can change herself.

As a mom, you provide opportunities for her to embrace and execute, but at the end of the day, you will still have to realize that your daughter’s response is already outside your control. Only your daughter could put into action everything that she learned. 

How has the Elite Competitor Program helped this sports mom?

• Building confidence at a young age

When this mom first heard about the program, she decided to ask the younger daughter to join, which ended up as the best decision she made. Her daughter now exuded confidence in the games, always looked forward to the competitions, and even shared her mindset tools with her team, being a leader at a young age.

• Increased her confidence as a sports mom

This mom also talked about her newfound confidence every time she watched her daughter play. The program helped her to fully put confidence in her daughter’s preparations. She was no longer tensed or nervous whenever she attended her daughter’s games.

• Gained knowledge on how to show support

This mom learned what words to say in a particular situation and how to respond whenever her daughter commits a mistake. She also felt more confident in her role as a mom, knowing and seeing that she can unlock her daughter’s confidence by simply supporting her.

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Helpful Links:

• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Download the free resources we've created for you
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

Has your athlete daughter ever compared herself with another athlete? What did you tell her in response? 

Today, we’ll talk about how to support our daughters when they start comparing themselves with others so that they can still steer towards their goals.

In most most cases, when our daughters compare themselves with another female athlete, it triggers a downward spiral of thoughts that they’re not good enough or that they’re not going to achieve their goals.

What Moms Can Do – or Say 

As a mom, your role is very crucial in helping your daughter build the skills needed so she can navigate through these feelings. You can help your daughter take notice when she starts comparing herself with others. Your role is to help her acknowledge that jealousy is actually popping up and that she can do something about it.

Here are three statements you can say to your daughter when she starts comparing herself with another athlete:

1.      “I hear you. It feels like Sarah is always getting the recognition. Tell me more about it.”

What you’re actually doing here is that you’re validating and welcoming her emotions. You are acknowledging that these feelings are real and that there’s no getting around it. You could definitely rephrase your statement if you like, but the idea is that you acknowledge the feeling, you give it airtime, and you invite yourself into the narrative. With this recognition, you’re allowing your daughter to move past that feeling in a productive way.

2.      “What does this person have that you want?”

In our Elite Competitor Program, the very first question that we want our athletes to identify is what they want. When you ask this question to your daughter, you are in fact asking a very powerful question. You are helping her uncover and explore and dig into what she truly wants. Sometimes your daughter would say she doesn’t want anything, and that’s okay. However, in most cases, she will actually be able to say things like, the other person has the media attention or that they’re getting the division 1 offer. With these answers, you could help frame the goal that your daughter actually wants to achieve.  

3.      “If she can do it, that’s proof that you can, too.”

Now, this statement is very powerful for so many reasons. We are building in them the abundance mindset as opposed to the scarcity mindset that would essentially pull them down. What we want to achieve is for us to champion each other. We want our daughters to champion other females when they are getting success. We encourage them that their time is coming too, and it’s coming soon. You’ll be amazed that the more you encourage, support, and cheer for other people, the more that this comes back around to you.

Moving forward…

When you have enabled her to utilize her jealousy and comparison to identify her dreams and pursue her goals, her own vision, her own strengths, then you are building her mental game. When she is focused on her own goals, she will also have less tendency to look at other people around. And this is the kind of strong mentality we want to develop because remember, your daughter’s mental game is her biggest competitive advantage.

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Helpful Links:

• Join the Elite Competitor Program waitlist - we plan to open the doors in mid-July!
• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spr

One of the things that female athletes experience that’s different from male athletes is having to deal with the menstrual cycle. What can we do to alleviate some of the things that affect them while training during their period? Is it always a burden or an advantage?

In this episode, we are going to be diving into female athletes' menstrual cycle, how that impacts their training, and how it impacts their performance. 

We are joined by Erica Suter, a female athlete performance coach for 11 years. She works on a female athlete’s speed, strength, conditioning, deceleration, and agility.

Here are some insights to help empower your daughter to use her menstrual cycle to her advantage.

The four phases of our menstrual cycle:

Menstrual phase. It happens within four to seven days of bleeding. And this is the stage when ladies may experience bloating or cramping, mood swings, and exhaustion. It's the stage that many of us dread. 

Follicular phase. This is when estrogen starts to build gradually. It is also when progesterone levels stay low. And this is the stage where she is gradually emerging from menstruation and gaining vitality.

Ovulation phase. And this is the shortest, which is unfortunate since this is when you feel “ready to take on the world”. You're in a social mood. You want to do more sprints. Maybe your testosterone is at an all-time high and you're feeling like a total boss. But, as we all know, this is one of the shortest phases. It typically lasts around four days. Because of the testosterone levels at this time, we urge female athletes to take advantage of strength and power training.

Luteal phase. And this is when all PMS symptoms manifest. So estrogen levels rise again, and anger, weariness, mood swings, poor reaction times in games, and a general sense of being off may ensue. 

It's critical to understand what's going on at each stage so that we can adjust our approach to training and nutrition.

Using birth control pills is the “quick fix” and the pharmaceutical way of dealing with irregular periods.

Before deciding on going for the quick fix there needs to be more education about the lifestyle, the nutrition, the workouts, the stress practices, and the sleep.

Birth control pills create a fake period/ovulation.

I don't want female athletes to go on the pill and then ignore everything else. You have to train to be stronger and to reduce injury during these certain phases. I don't want it to be a thing that causes them to ignore nutrition as well.

You don’t always have to use the pharmaceutical option and risk the pros and cons. All our female athlete needs may be a healthy habit and strong mental capability to be more self-aware.

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Helpful Links:

• Hang out with Erica Suter on social @fitsoccerqueen and learn more about working with her!
• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Join the waitlist for The Elite Competitor Program, opening later this summer
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

Has your female athlete ever asked you how she played after the game? How did you respond to that? 

This could be a real dilemma for many parents when it comes to giving athletic feedback. You could be torn between how to be a truthful mom and not acting out like you're the coach. If you have been to this arena, it helps to remember the different roles that you could play in your daughter's athletic experience. 

Parents would have the tendency to play any of these four different roles of an athlete, coach, ref, or parent. Keep in mind that only the parent role is chosen for you. The athlete is one exclusive for your daughter. The coach is one for her coach (although if you are literally her coach, it would be a different story entirely). The ref is also not in your court because you don't call the games. 

How do you play the parent role? 

The keyword here is support. Focus on how to increase confidence in your athlete's mindset. Here are some helpful steps you could do:

1. Train their mind to look to themselves for validation. Your goal is to help your daughter look to their skills, decision-making, and capability as an athlete to validate themselves. Redirect their questions back to them so that you will nurture their behavior of constantly seeking validation not from others, but from their own capability.

2. Reframe their questions introspectively. For instance, if your daughter asks you what you think about the recent game, ask them about any goals or plans prior to playing, and whether they have achieved this or not. You could also ask things such as, what were you proud of when you played? Allow her to explore these ideas so that she will strengthen her mental confidence. 

3. Use "I notice" statements. If, after letting her explore her thoughts, she still wants to hear what you think, then you can use statements starting with "I notice that..." and then redirect a question back to her. For instance, you could say, I notice that you were a bit aggressive in that game, and that was not your usual play. Did you notice that too? 

4. Stick to positive affirmation. When you do deliver your feedback to the game, also include "I notice" statements that pertain to her good plays. Affirm what she did well in a way that would boost her confidence. You could say something like, "I notice that you stayed open on defense earlier. That was actually a good decision you made there." 

Why your role as a parent is crucial?

Providing all the support that your female athlete needs is crucial in strengthening their mental game because this increases their competitive advantage. As their parent, you could boost their morale all the more when they understand that you trust them, and you validate that they are actually capable in themselves to handle quick decisions in the game. 

How else can you support as a parent?

If you are interested to learn more about how parents can further support their athletic daughters, we do dig deep into these topics in our Elite Competitive Program (ECP) specifically for moms. In this program, you will learn different practical strategies that would help you navigate the tricky situations of standing up in your parent role. Our waitlist program is already open, and we would be starting around July. So if you like to be in communication about this area, you're welcome to add your name. Just visit https://www.kristinabreanne.com/ECP.

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Helpful Links:

• Join the Elite Competitor Program waitlist
• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Societ<

Your daughter must enjoy herself, and being an athlete is no exception. They also require time to be a child and a teenager. They require that breathing space.

Our athletes' mental health is our top priority as mothers. It has a significant impact on how she navigates not only her sport but also her life. Many parents are left wondering - what can I do to help?

To begin with, you're probably accomplishing more than you realize.

Second, while this is not an exhaustive list, these are the things that I have seen make a significant impact on athletes' mental health as well as their performance. 

Surround her with love, mentorship, and knowledge. She requires to receive mentorship and assistance, as well as the opportunity to improve her skills;

• Understand what to do with our emotions.
• How to deal with adversity.

We can't expect our players to know how to deal with adversity in their sport unless we provide them the opportunity to do so.

These are learned abilities. That is exactly what we teach these athletes in our elite competitor program. They are receiving mentorship, and I believe that hearing from other adults and seeing other strong female leaders who are assisting them in overcoming some of these issues is quite beneficial to them.

Moms in ECP have peace of mind knowing that their kid is plugged into a community where she knows she is not alone and where she is learning real, tangible skills from an expert so that they don't have to figure out how.

All you have to do is take the initial step toward assisting them. If you've decided to begin mental training right away, remember to;

• Validate and normalize her feelings
• Model healthy habits yourself
• Schedule in the fun
• Surround her with support

These are the four options available to you. They are quite basic. You can even do some of these things right now.

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Helpful Links:

• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Download the free resources we've created for you
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

How do we help our female athletes excel and be the best at everything they do? And how do we recognize when it’s too much? Is your female athlete struggling to keep up with everything?

There’s a thin line between doing your best and doing too much. Our daughters feeling immense pressure might be coming from a place of perfectionism and competitiveness.

Let’s talk about the early signs of perfectionism, how to differentiate between doing the best or doing too much, and how to help our female athletes get the right balance of things.

Doing your best or doing too much?

We’re gonna start with a question from one of our ECP moms.

“How do I help my athlete who has to be the best at everything she does - academics, social, her sport, etc. She’s drowning trying to keep up with it all.”

Are you familiar with this kind of situation? This whole idea of trying to be the greatest at everything, but then feeling like you're drowning and can't keep up, is a telltale indicator of perfectionism. 

The trouble is that trying to be the best at everything is an unachievable undertaking, and this is where she feels like she's drowning. Human as we are, we cannot do everything and we cannot be the greatest at everything.

And whatever that means to her, whether it's beating everyone in her class or being the greatest on her team, or she simply has this concept of success in her brain that she's always trying for but never reaching. You know, perfection is an unattainable standard to meet.

Looking inward 

If you believe your daughter suffers from perfectionism, I strongly advise her to improve on her mental game. Athletes believe that perfectionism is beneficial when in fact it is hindering their progress. And until they know this and see how it is affecting them, they will remain in these patterns, and the repercussions can be severe. 

Perfectionists frequently experience burnout faster than anyone else. They don't experiment with new things. They're just really critical of themselves. They don't take criticism well. So there are a lot of issues that we need to solve in this area. The athletes don't see it because they believe perfectionism will help them achieve their goals.

There are two things you can do about it. 

The first step is to provide her with the opportunity to learn by:

• Realizing that this is a part of her
• Understanding what perfectionism is
• How it serves her
• How it does not serve her. 

Athletes can have the opportunity to learn these in mental game training such as the Elite Competitor Program.

The second step is what you can do as her mom. 

What you can do is turn the lens inward rather than outward.

Perfectionism, and athletes who suffer from it, are always shifting that lens outward. They are concerned about what others think of them, and they are acting to gain the praise, recognition, and approval of others. 

They are constantly concerned with what other people expect from them. So, we're going to focus that lens inward. And assist them in determining what is important to them.

Assist her in investigating her definition of success. What is her standard of success in school, socially, and in sports? Create an opportunity to ask her these questions since they are quite helpful in helping her reflect on what her definition of success is. And modify their definition of success by having to be better than everyone else and the best.

Improvement is the measure of success for athletes who strive healthily. Personal development. You can help make that happen. Last but not the least, never underestimate the power of simply noticing and telling them the joy of doing things that matters. Perfectionists only do things because they believe others expect them to, even if they’re not happy.

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Helpful Link

Are you worried about your daughter’s motivation this summer? Or, wondering what you can do to keep your athlete motivated and focused? 

Summer is upon us! There will be more freedom in schedules, longer days, and vacations.

But when it comes to helping your athlete daughter stay motivated— summer can be tricky! 

Here's what I'm hearing from our community:

“My daughter wants her "summer" and fun time - but she also needs to work on her sport!

It's hard to motivate her in the summer - she doesn't seem to want to do anything extra.

I totally get this struggle! You worry about her getting out of shape or getting behind because she doesn’t put in the extra effort. You don’t want her to fail or feel bad about herself. So, what’s the right thing to do this summer to help your female athlete?

Here’s my #1 tip for all the sports moms this summer!

Let it be HER summer

Take the pressure off. Let her lead. If she's craving a break from the grind, then she probably needs it. 

When we go into this summer season— things will look a little different from her usual routine. She's maybe not practicing every single day. Maybe practices are optional. There may be some workouts with her team, camps or clinics, or college showcases, but it’s not the same grind that she's used to where she goes to school and practice. It’s different then where the plan and schedule are all laid out for her.

Summer is different. There's a different flow and a different vibe to it. And it's really hard to stay motivated if she does not have someone telling her what to do all the time. 

But if you are the one that's telling her what to do all the time, that's going to turn into a power struggle.

What you can do first— is realize where she’s coming from.

She's going into summer. She probably wants a little bit of a breather. 

So, let it be her summer and let her be in the driver’s seat in this. If she's in the driver's seat, she is going to be so much more motivated.

If she has the freedom to create that balance and do a little of what she wants, she's going to be way more motivated to do what she needs. There is a way to strike that balance herself. 

It is her journey to take

We've got to just let this be her journey and let her experience the rewards from working towards her goals, and the natural consequences that can come from not putting in the work. 

Again, let it be her summer. Let her enjoy the parts of summer that are meant to be enjoyed. Yes. It is hard, but this is her journey, and she is learning. Release some of that control so that she's getting ownership over the results of her actions.

If you’re trying to raise a confident, self-sufficient young woman— some of those skills need to come through letting her "fail". So let it be her summer and let her be in the driver’s seat.

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Helpful Links:

• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode
• Download the free resources we've created for you
• Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group - The Elite Competitor Society - for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!