Rebel Buddhist

In the past, I’ve talked a bit about imposter syndrome and why it totally makes sense that it arises because of the societal structure we live in (hello consumer-based, patriarchal society). Today, I want to share an amazing tool that I started to use to overcome my own imposter syndrome. Because yes… it still pops up.

And whether or not you have a business like me, imposter syndrome and self-doubt will arise in your life, too: in relationships, at work, or even when we plan a solo trip or try to learn a new skill… or go back to school after a long time. Really, it shows up everywhere. Especially when we aren’t getting enough sleep and we’re tired, or we aren’t eating well or not exercising enough.

But the sneakiest way that imposter syndrome can show up is when we downplay our own accomplishments.

We can easily lose sight of what we have accomplished and created… and how far we have come. When that happens, we just think that anything good has happened out of pure luck. That all of our success and accomplishment this far has been a fluke.

Or we attribute them to someone else: “They’re only dating me because they’re lonely.” Or “My resume looks good, but they’ll realize that in real life, I’m not all that great.”

But Ana, aren’t we supposed to be humble in our accomplishments? Well, yeah. Spiritually, we’re taught to not brag or be egocentric. But the difference here is intention.

Is your imposter syndrome keeping you from bringing your gifts to the world? Because, trust me, it really really needs them. Is it keeping you from loving yourself and seeing your true Buddha nature? Then that’s something to get on top of!

Doubt is part of the path.

If we look at the mindfulness model, then when we experience imposter syndrome, our accomplishment is in the C “circumstance” line. Our thought is, “it’s a fluke.” Our feeling is dismissive. Our action is to ignore our success and to downplay things or credit others.

And the result isn’t a surprise: We keep the shitty story about ourselves and our capabilities. That doubt spirals! Then what happens? We struggle to take effective action and commit to our practice and goals.

Then there are the systemic barriers I talked about in Episode 88 (link in the resources below): racism, misogyny, homophobia, classism… With these, we can become afraid to play BIG.  To dream BIG. To aspire towards enlightenment. Because it’s dangerous.

What’s important at this point is to use mindfulness of thoughts so we can catch what’s going on in our brains when we feel these doubts. Then we can recognize that those thoughts are creating feelings like, “It was a fluke.” “It’s not a big deal.” I don’t belong here.”

Can you see how these thoughts can be sneaky? Maybe they look like modesty, but they’re actually invalidating our accomplishments and gifts.

So what do we do with this?

We can move our accomplishments from the C line (circumstance) to the R line (results). In other words, we acknowledge the results we’ve created and move UP the model. We can look at those results and ask ourselves, “What actions did I take to create this result?”

That question has been life-changing for me. It allows me to own that I actually created it.

Not owning what we’ve created isn’t a good thing. We need to own our accomplishments so we can see that we make a difference in the world.

So, seeing our accomplishments as results instead of circumstances (due to life happening to us), it builds a body of evidence that we created it.

And that result would have never happened without YOU.

So, if your find you’re doing a lot of self-coaching and meditating on your thoughts and it’s not getting your anywhere, try this exercise:

Identify an accomplishment that you aren’t taking ownership of. Then make a list of all the actions you took to create that result. 

In this Episode you will learn:

// The sneakiest way imposter syndrome can show up in our lives.

// How imposter syndrome can hinder your spiritual practice and personal growth

// How to use the mindfulness model to change our thinking

// Why owning our accomplishments can make a difference in the world.

// One exercise you can do now to start owning your accomplishments

Resources:

// Episode 18: How to Coach Yourself - Applied Mindfulness

// Episode 88: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist FB group, and tune in every Wednesday at 11:30am PST as I go live. 

// Want to dive into this work on a deeper level? To study it and practice it together? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out. 

It’s also where you can get individual help applying the concepts to your own life. It’s where you can learn new coaching tools not shared on the podcast that will blow your mind even more, and it’s where you can connect over all things freedom with other freedom junkies just like you and me. It’s my favorite place on earth and it will change your life, I guarantee it. Come join us at

 JoinFreedomSchool.com

. I can’t wait to see you there. 

This week is Episode 100 of the Rebel Buddhist Podcast! If you’re new to the pod, then welcome! If you’ve been around for a while - welcome BACK!

Today, I want to talk about how to know if you’re making progress on your spiritual path. Often, we think we’re not, but it’s usually because we are attached to our expectations… how we think progress is supposed to look.

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard that being attached to expectations can really screw us in the end and make us pretty unhappy. Our personal growth path is no exception.

Spiritual stages are often depicted as this linear, simple, progressive route. You get from point A to B in the most efficient way. And that’s not fully wrong… but in the end, our path isn’t linear. At least, that’s been my own experience and observation. In fact, if we look at practitioners of any tradition, it’s challenging to find one which has a simple, linear path.

Still, we have this image that if we meditate enough, we’ll have this moment of bliss and feel connection with all and be forever changed. Just. Like. That.

And wouldn’t it be so convenient if the path to enlightenment was orderly and predictable and linear? But like any proper adventure, it’s filled with detours, landslides, or even avalanches that can block the road or send us on a detour for a good amount of time.

I’ve found that our path - when accompanied by practice - often looks more like an upward spiral. We don’t just transcend over an issue then never see it again, nor do revisit it over and over in the same way like a looping circle. Rather, we revisit the same teachings and lessons, but as we progress along that upward spiral, we have a different perspective, new skills, and a slightly different way of approaching it.

Sometimes, when I revisit a lesson in life, it’s like, “Really? I’m here again?” And it can be frustrating. But then I look closer and see that things are in fact different and I have made progress.

So we have to remember that revisiting challenges doesn’t always mean there is a lack of progress, because each time, we can reframe and respond to that situation differently. And we often do, which is apparent to us when we look closely.

We can’t capture freedom and just place it at a moment in time. Freedom is the journey itself. Like peeling back the layers of an onion or switchbacks on a mountain.

How can we know that we’ve made progress, even as we’re revisiting these old lessons and challenges over and over?

Phillip Moffitt once said to me, “You know you’re making spiritual progress if your suffering is of less intensity, less frequency, or shorter duration.

Notice he didn’t say that all 3 have to be present at once. The “or” in there is key. Sometimes, we just let go of something slightly faster, or we have a less intense emotional outburst, or we didn’t hold a grudge as long as last time.

These are celebrations that we often dismiss. Instead, we feel disappointed because we wish we hadn’t experienced that challenge ever again.

This past weekend at a business conference, one of the coaches told us “Massive Action won’t save you from the human experience.”

That’s what I think the Buddha was teaching in the Four Noble Truths about suffering. Here, it shows up here as your spiritual path won’t save you from the human experience. After all, part of the human experience is suffering. It’s part of the deal of being born in a body with this brain between our ears and being thrown into a world with a bunch of other humans who are doing this for the first time.

Another thing that I’ve noticed is that we tend to forget that progress is going to require practice in everyday life, not just in grand gestures. It’s a lifelong practice for a lifelong lesson. The lessons we revisit are really more like life lessons vs one-time challenges. We’re meant to get better at them over our lifetime (that spiral).

So yes, it’s also a long-haul deal. We have to do more than just read “shelf-help” books or attend workshops or retreats. We need to apply the work in our daily lives. In how we wake up, what thoughts we choose to bookend our day with. How we treat ourselves and others.

Finally, I want to remind you that the path is often not very pretty. Often, a successful meditation practice is the fact that you recognize that your mind is all over the place. That you get bored or distracted or start to doubt. Remember that it takes a minute to calm the mind! It takes practice. And there will be good days and bad days and all kinds of days in between.

Maybe this isn’t just something you deal with in your spiritual practice. Maybe you’re harsh with yourself and your progress in other aspects of your life, like your business goals, your relationships, or your art.

No matter where it appears in your life, if you’re judging your progress, then you’re going to miss the progress you are making. So let yourself celebrate the incremental progress you are making. Remember that it’s a gradual process and that small changes can have big future impacts.

It all counts, my friends. In fact, I bet you’re further along in your path than you ever imagined.

// Why expectations can ruin our progress

// Why our path is less like a line and more like a spiral

// How revisiting challenges does not signify a lack of progress

// How to know you’re making spiritual progress – and progress in other areas of your life

// Why we can’t escape suffering and the human experience – even with tons of spiritual practice

// The importance of daily practice on our path

// Episode 60: How to Avoid Unnecessary Suffering

// Episode 63: Being Human is Hard - the First Noble Truth

// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist FB group, and tune in every Wednesday at 11:30am PST as I go live.

// Want to dive into this work on a deeper level? To study it and practice it together? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out.

It’s also where you can get individual help applying the concepts to your own life. It’s where you can learn new coaching tools not shared on the podcast that will blow your mind even more, and it’s where you can connect over all things freedom with other freedom junkies just like you and me. It’s my favorite place on earth and it will change your life, I guarantee it. Come join us at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there.

Are you confused about what your purpose is – your soul purpose? If so, this Episode is for you, because confusion about one’s purpose is often a sign of something more insidious going on.

I noticed a pattern in my Adventure Mastermind groups when people are confused about their purpose. It seems so...legit to say we are confused.

We can think, “I am so confused about what I’m supposed to be doing! I want to be clear first so that I don’t waste time, money and energy on the wrong thing. If only I was clear, I’d be able to take action and have the courage to take those risks you talk about.”

“If only I was clear.”

And it seems innocent enough. Of course we don’t want to waste time, money and energy on the wrong things.

People agree with us wholeheartedly: don’t quit the job, leave the relationship, start the biz, go back to school until you are absolutely clear.

But the sneaky truth is that when you get clear, then yeah – you will then need to start taking action and taking risks and – very likely – making people uncomfortable, disappointing some people, fail a few times, risk embarrassment or humiliation.

Hard things.

Remember: our brain evolved with the motivational triad of seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, and doing what’s easy. And living one’s soul purpose is often none of the above.

So being confused actually helps us stay comfortable and seemingly safe – even when we are also regretting we are not living our true purpose and authentic life.

Usually, my clients DO know what their purpose is. They just can’t believe that it’s worthy or that it is a viable way to live life.

Or they are very afraid of what would happen if they actually claimed their purpose because it is too...rebel of them.

You may know that I called this podcast Rebel Buddhist because learning how to free our minds so we can free our lives – instead of seeking freedom through something outside of us – is inherently a rebellious act. Siddhartha Guatama was a rebel of his time – going against what culture was encouraging, what his family was encouraging.

It is completely counter culture. Completely NOT what advertising and marketing and the consumer-based culture wants us to do and believe.

And when you look at most people who are living their purpose – which I totally get off on, BTW – it is often not something society is giving out any awards for in a widespread way.

The artists whose parents are always encouraging them to have a backup plan or maybe major in something else. The dirtbag climbers. The dancers. The documentary filmmakers. The writers.

Sure, at the highest echelons people give awards for these things. But in general, it’s not like culture at large jumps for joy when the announcement is first made of I am going to be a dirtbag climber or ski bum or tightrope walker (you have to watch Man on Wire).

Alex Honnold in the documentary The Alpinist, about the soul-driven alpinist Marc-Andre Leclerc, said something to the effect of people think free soloing is crazy. They think you’re a daredevil and dumb and an extreme risk taker but when it goes really well, you’re a hero.

Exactly.

So we often resist being clear about our purpose because what I’ve seen is that we realize we have a Rebel Purpose.

We have a kind of knowing about what it means we’ll need to do if we get clear about it. The risks we will have to take. The possible rejection. The likely failures along the way. The people we will disappoint and the difficult conversations we will need to have.

It's scary AF.

And this is why confusion about purpose is often an indulgent emotion. It keeps us safe in harbor, but as John Shedd said, that is not what ships are built for.

That is not what you were built for.

Confusion keeps us from committing and taking action and doing scary shit.

Have you been confused about your purpose for a long time? I’m willing to bet you DO know your purpose but it's a bit more rebellious than your brain is comfortable with – and what your family or society is comfortable with.

I know this was true for me. Graduating college – which my immigrant mother and disabled father had hoped would bring me a life of ease and abundance – to then work as a climbing guide starting at $55 a day and live out of my car. Not popular at first. But I was blessed that they didn’t argue with me to stop. (Thank you oodles, mom and dad!)

Later, leaving a full-time position at a lucrative healthcare practice to be a... life coach and altered states guide??!!!!!

But listen – culture is meant to evolve, and we are each are a key part of that.

I believe that this is why we each have our own soul purpose – to contribute in whatever way we are meant to to the evolution of culture expansion, of culture being more kind, compassionate, loving, creative, inclusive, diverse, exciting! For new ways of being in the world. Paradigm shifts. Radically new ways of being.

So if you’re finding your confused about your purpose – you're not alone. I’ve been there. Many of my clients (maybe all?) have been there.

Ask yourself, maybe, just maybe, am I actually clear, and it’s a Rebel Purpose that will make me – and everyone around me – uncomfortable when I claim it?

And listen to that still, small voice when it whispers, “Yes.”

// How to spot if confusion is an indulgent emotion (spoiler alert - it almost always is)
// Why we'd rather be confused than clear
// The price we pay when we don't claim our soul purpose

// Episode 71: How to Find Your Purpose

// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist FB group, and tune in every Wednesday at 11:30am PST as I go live.

// Want to dive into this work on a deeper level? To study it and practice it together? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out.

It’s also where you can get individual help applying the concepts to your own life. It’s where you can learn new coaching tools not shared on the podcast that will blow your mind even more, and it’s where you can connect over all things freedom with other freedom junkies just like you and me. It’s my favorite place on earth and it will change your life, I guarantee it. Come join us at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there.

You may have heard me say that being an entrepreneur can be filled with spiritual growth. I still believe this 100%. I have never expanded my comfort zone, dug deep with my limiting beliefs, learned to cultivate deep compassion for myself, and committed to serving others so much that I was willing to do scary shit as I have when being an entrepreneur. 

Sure, my work in refugee camps in war zones and other challenging humanitarian environments helped me to act on compassion for others - but it was almost like that was part of my nature. 

The growth I’ve had to undergo to run a business? Super NOT my natural state of being. Podcasts and social media and webinars…totally not my default way of being.

The things I have to do for entrepreneurship make me super uncomfortable all the time. More uncomfortable than climbing a peak on a 30 -day expedition without a shower. For realz.

One of the most  important lessons I learned in business over the past year was how to stop hustling toward my goals. You know - the frantic scrambling and staying up all night during a launch and working on weekend and evenings to meet that quarterly goal and…ALL of that craziness. 

For years I was taught that was how it was supposed to be. You had to buck up and deal. And I did. I’m good at powering through hard shit. But it almost led to me giving up. Even though I wanted to share my gifts with people so badly, I didn’t want to do it at a cost to my family and my health.

I started making this shift when I was working with Susan Hyatt, who I totally did not believe when she said the more fun you have the more money you make. But she was right.

In this episode, I want to share a model for how to stop the hustle cycle - which one of my other business coaches - Melanie Childers - taught me. It helped me make a lot of sense about why this actually works. But for you, I want to apply it outside of entrepreneurship and to show you how this can work for personal growth and your spiritual practice.

Now I know the phrase “hustle cycle” may be associated a lot with business and entrepreneurship or career, but trust me, we can hustle towards personal growth goals: a certain meditative state, or to have more patience, or less of a temper, or more self-compassion.

Or to attain enlightenment in this lifetime! (No pressure;)

I see attachment to the outcomes a lot with my clients. And it makes sense, right? Like, if you want to achieve your goal, being super attached seems like it will help motivate you.

But the ironic thing is the more attached we are, the less likely we are to take effective action towards our goals.

This is because when we feel that pressure, we enter into a stress cycle (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn) whenever we hit a speed bump… and then we spiral, and we enter the Hustle Cycle.

This is especially true when we set a big goal because your brain sees the goal is possible once you’ve set it, and its job is to try to stop you and keep you safe…so it tries to stop you. After all, we evolved to be motivated to avoid pain, seek please, and do what’s easy. And big goals are none of the above! Even spiritual or personal growth ones.

So, what happens during those stress responses?

Folks who tend to freeze overthink everything (looping thoughts in the brain, or trying to consume more info instead ot take action). 

Those of us who flee feel the pressure and look for ways to avoid it (overdrinking, over-Netflixing, get distracted by social media, eat, spend money…buffering.)

Those who tend to fight find ways to rebel against what needs to be done or take on all the burden and overwork. This is one of my defaults. 

Lots of rebellion.

Those who tend to fawn lean towards people-pleasing.to avoid disappointing anyone or in attempts to avoid criticism or prove worthiness or enoughness. 

No matter your stress response, we circle back around to self-doubts. We tell stories to ourselves that we aren’t enough, 

THEN we get hella tired and burned out because this is so exhausting and we feel overwhelmed by it all, which feeds our self doubt.

The cycle repeats itself.

So how can you break the Hustle Cycle?

Here’s where Melanie helped me see why having more fun works: it helps us get out of the stress cycle. But there are a few steps to go through first.

One of the first things to do is to notice you’re in the hustle cycle. Hello mindfulness! Awareness. Mindfuless of thoughts, feelings, body. How are you feeling? How are you acting/What are you doing? Can you identify where are you in the cycle?

Just like we talked about identifying your early signs for when you’re not aligned (irritability, impatience, more tearful, more critical) -  we want to identify our Hustle red flag warning signs. 

Hustling behaviors - and when you’re hustling you’re not aligned - might look like consuming instead of creating (I need more courses, more podcasts, more degrees, more dharma talks! More advice!). Maybe we take reactive action instead of intentional action. We might have either/or thinking - I either achieve this goal or I’m screwed/not worthy. It can look like never resting, not unplugging. Feeling like you always have to be ON. Perfectionism. Taking on all the responsibility. Feeling out of control

Then, once we’re aware we’re hooked by the pressure and the shame and/or self doubt - we can use some other tools, like getting out of our heads and our stories and back into our body (I give lots of tips on this in the pod, like the 5-senses meditation). This takes us out of the stress cycle, and helps us take more effective action that feels good instead of hustle. So does self-compassion and being more kind to ourselves. 

But listen, this next part is golden. If I can give you one single thing to take away from this, it’s this: To break that hustle cycle, you need to remove the pressure, which requires something rather counterintuitive: Detaching from the Goal.

I remember when Melanie gave us a challenge awhile back: make back what you invested in the program in the first month. Then she told us to release the goal and not worry about it.

Whaaat? I’m like… but isn’t a challenge inherently something to be attached to?

But she taught us that there are other ways to face that challenge without feeling that degree of pressure and forming an attachment to having to meet the goal. And that we’d be way more successful if we detached from it in this way.

I learned I could keep going and keep taking action and remain open to the whatever result I created because I’d learn from it - because I removed the pressure and was able to stay out of the stress cycle for more of the time. 

Remember: when we’re in the stress cycle we are not taking effective action. When we release attachment to the goal, we remove the pressure and can take more effective action since we are out of the stress cycle.

This isn’t easy work. We have to feel safe to risk failing. Without this, the pressure is too strong, and the stress cycle is hard to avoid or to exit. This is where we can ask: “What am I making meeting - or not meeting - this goal mean about who I am?” Usually it’s not a safe place when we’re having those thoughts, and we have a lot of judgment about if we don’t meet it and a lot of relying on what other people think about us if we do achieve it.

We can remind ourselves we are more than our goal(s). We are more than our achievements. We are 100% valuable and lovable and worthy as we are. Right now. We are safe, right now. The Universe doesn’t send us anything we can’t handle.

So, when it comes to a goal you’ve set for yourself - a certain mindset you want to embody more, progress to a certain stage on your spiritual path, a health goal, a financial or career goal… think about if you are in the hustle cycle and where you’re at in it.

Then, have an exit plan. Release attachment to the goal, which will release the pressure and get you out of the stress cycle. Instead, make being fully present in the process your goal, the journey the goal. Remind yourself you are safe - no matter what comes of this goal. And…think about how can you make this goal more FUN.

// The most important thing to do to break the Hustle Cycle

// Why attachment to outcomes actually hinders our ability to achieve our goald

// The 5 parts of the Hustle Cycle

// How the stress response we feel when hustling keeps us stuck

// How to create an exit plan for the Hustle Cycle

// The difference between hustling and more sustainable ways of being with our goals

// Episode 62: Commitment and How to Take Massive Action

// Episode 66: How to Fail Perfectly

// Learn more about Melanie Childers here

// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist FB group, and tune in every Wednesday at 11:30am PST as I go live. 

// Want to dive into this work on a deeper level? To study it and practice it together? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out.    

It’s also where you can get individual help applying the concepts to your own life. It’s where you can learn new coaching tools not shared on the podcast that will blow your mind even more, and it’s where you can connect over all things freedom with other freedom junkies just like you and me. It’s my favorite place on earth and it will change your life, I guarantee it. Come join us at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there.

To a lot of people, the words psychedelic and spiritual are paradoxical. But the use of psychoactive substances in shamanic, religious, and spiritual practices is found throughout history, with evidence from thousands of years ago. In this episiode, we will be talking about psychedelics and spiritual practice and if there is a helpful role for them…or the potential harm.

Let’s start with some definitions:

Psychedelics are a class of psychoactive substances that produce changes in perception, mood and cognitive processes. They affect all the senses, altering a person's thinking, sense of time and emotions.

There are also entheogens, which are typically of plant origin, that are ingested to produce a non-ordinary state of consciousness for religious or spiritual purposes.

Some examples of both are psilocybin mushrooms, ayahuasca, ketamine, 5-MeO-DMT, cannabis,, LSD, MDMA… and many more.

I’ve used psychedelics in clinical settings and have found them to have a unique place in the treatment of mental health disorders. But I’m personally very interested in their use for spiritual purposes. Especially because, in my own clinical experience, many mental health issues have a strong root in spiritual and existential challenges.

So when we really look at the intention for spiritual practice or use of psychedelics, Buddhism and psychedelics share something in common: finding that which frees the mind. There are probably a good amount of Buddhists who would say it’s a gateway to a spiritual path, which I certainly agree with (and there’s also many who would disagree).

At my alma mater, Johns Hopkins University, there has been decades of research in the use of psychedelics for a variety of purposes, showing promising results in many areas. They’ve done studies with long-time meditators as well as those who didn’t have a previous spiritual practice. 

One study by Rolland Griffit’s et al. in 2018 wanted to see if the changes noted after receiving psilocybin in personality and other traits were enduring for people without a previous spiritual practice…and not just the short-term result of a great trip.

The results were impressive. I got into more details about the study in the pod, but after 6 months, the groups who received high-dose psilocybin and support for spiritual practice showed large significant positive changes long-term when compared to a placebo group (low dose psilocybin) that also received spiritual practice support. The areas of improvement include interpersonal closeness, life meaning/purpose, forgiveness, daily spiritual experiences, and community observer ratings (how others rated them, not just how they saw themselves…to make sure the changes weren’t just perceived by the participant but that others could tell there was a shift as well).

So this - and other studies - show that psilocybin can influence long-lasting /enduring increases in positive spcial attitudes/behaviors and in healthy psychological functioning.

Isn’t that so fascinating?

I want to mention here that there’s a big difference between recreational use of psychedelics and intentional use of psychedelics.

I had my own first experience with LSD when I was 15 years old and experimented with it a lot over the course of a few years. That first experience forever changed the way I saw the world - it helped me see that my beliefs and the way I perceived the world was through many filters and that the ideas I had about separation of myself and others were false, and there was a mystical unity to our existence.

I also had - at a later experience - a mystical near-death experience that changed the way I perceived death (and was a lot less fearful of it). 

And my difficult experiences (aka “bad trips”) gave me insight into the way my brain could loop and perseverate on things…and how important my mindset was in how I experienced the world.

I had done so many psychedelics by my late teens that I went another 20 years before using them again (I spent that time integrating my insights with many life-changing experiences). When I decided to bring them back into my life again, it was with much more intention, and for entheogenic purposes.

So, while there were some enduring effects for me with recreational use, in my own experience and in my subsequent guiding of altered states experiences, intentional use is a very different experience.

There are several factors we take into account and implement when we intentionally use psychedelics. The mindset of the participant and the guide, the setting, which substance to use and the dosing, the skillset of the guide itself.. and post-experience situation/support as well.

When we skillfully put these things together, I do believe there can be a great benefit.

It’s not just about having a great experience, but also support in integrating what arose during the experience and integrating that into our day-to-day lives.

There’s a high risk of using psychedelics as a way to escape the challenges of life. We can see this with almost anything that helps us feel better than sitting with a difficult emotion or experience - it happens with meditation, too. I like to remind myself and others to not chase after that meditative bliss experience, because it will be elusive, and that it’s a good practice to let go of the attachment and craving.

So…what are psychedelics and spiritual practice (particularly Buddhist practices) contradictory? What often comes up in this discussion are the Buddhist precepts.

These precepts are 5 ethical guidelines are considered the foundation for successful practice because they help to calm the mind and have it be in the est state for meditation and spiritual practice (not lying, not stealing, not killing, no harm from sexual misconduct). The fifth precept is often discussed here: I undertake the precept to abstain from liquor that causes intoxication and indolence.

So here it specifically says alcohol and not other substances. And some people take it literally and others say well, it’s more complicated in modern times and we probably was meant to include all miind-altering substances.

Is this…wise? Compassionate?

Some people take precepts very literally, especially in early Buddhism and in many Theravedan schools. Like literally not lying under any circumstance. But in other traditions - like Mahayana or Vajrayana - look at it slightly differently, with prioritizing  the concept of skillful means and compassion for others as the primary intention.

A common example is with not lying. If you’re hiding an innocent person in your house, and someone comes to kill them and asks if they’re in there, is it OK to lie? The Bodhisattva vow would say you break the precept to help the person. 

Thinking this way, when we are asking this question about psychedelics and spiritual practice, we can consider is it beneficial - ultimately - to our compassion and ability to help others? At this point, do we have the wisdom to inform this? How does a perspective impact our ability to show up in the world and make it a better place as we walk in it?

What is our intention?

This is why I feel strongly about the intention of spiritual growth.

And of course, we have to have wisdom along with the compassionate intention, because us silly humans can fool ourselves. We can convince ourselves something is beneficial when we don’t have the wisdom to make that call yet…but we really want it to be beneficial;) So we have to tread with integrity over these waters.

You know, I used to wonder if after a psychedelic experience, people would later feel, “Oh it was just the medicine, the drug”... but what I’ve found - at least with guided journeys - is that it’s more an affirmation of truth, and experience of truth. The veil has been lifted.

And my hope is that it does encourage more spiritual practice and more dedication to the practice. The science is supporting this.

It’s like taking a helicopter ride up to summit instead of a slow climb -  to see the view to see if it’s worth it, what’s possible. To help one commit to the slow climb that is to come.

After the glimpse or the affirmation, we then continue with the traditional practices instead of trying to grasp at that initial insight again - striving for the meditative bliss experience or having another psychedelic journey.

So do I think there’s a role for psychedelics in spiritual practice? Absolutely. AND psychedelics are not for everyone. 

I believe in appropriate screening and assessment because there are medical and psychiatric contraindications and situations where they just won’t be as beneficial.

AND I strongly believe in the importance of integration - with a coach or therapist who is trained specifically in psychedelic integration (there are also communities that have this support built in, like the Burner community or the Santo Daime church.

It’s not just about the journey if you want a higher chance of success at enduring benefit for you and those you come into contact with.

Lastly - and this is important - you don’t “need” psychedelics for spiritual growth. What you need is 100% within you. Right now. But they can be a safe, helpful tool along the way in the right context.

Until next week, rebels…Free your mind!

// Are psychedelics and entheogens the same thing? 

// The difference between recreational and intentional use

// How science support that intentional use of psychedelics can create long-term positive changes in mindset, personality, social behavior, and spiritual practice

// How psychedelics can be used to benefit spiritual practice

// How to avoid using psychedelics as an escape or a temporary high

// Whether Buddhism and psychedelics are actually contradictory in nature

// Why integration is key in seeing positive long-term effects of psychedelic use

// Buddhism and Psychedelics 3-part YouTube Series: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

// Zig, Zag, Zen: Buddhism and Psychedelics edited by Alex Grey & Allan Badiner

// The Secret Drugs of Buddhism by Michael Crowley

// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist FB group, and tune in every Wednesday at 11:30am PST as I go live. 

// If you’re in need of a powerful pause and ready for some re-alignment, shake up your life with the upcoming Adventure Mastermind. It’s a no-BS group of 6 womxn ready to slay the next year – YOUR way. Six months of transformation and adventures (inner and outer!) that will have you blowing your own mind, and you can learn more at www.AdventureMastermind.com. Check it out – application is open, with an amazing limited-time bonus of a plane ticket credit to one of the retreats! You won’t want to miss the chance to hang out with me and a small group of rebel womxn in adventurous places to get unstuck and create the next chapter of your amazing life! 

// Want to dive into this work on a deeper level? To study it and practice it together? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out.    

It’s also where you can get individual help applying the concepts to your own life. It’s where you can learn new coaching tools not shared on the podcast that will blow your mind even more, and it’s where you can connect over all things freedom with other freedom junkies just like you and me. It’s my favorite place on earth and it will change your life, I guarantee it. Come join us at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there.

So many humans are on edge right now. A lot of this uncertainty has been going on since before the pandemic and this recent war… and there will be unrest and epidemics all over the world at any given time.

I say this not to diminish what is going on, but to remind you that this week’s topic can be of benefit at all times, because there is never any predictability or guaranteed security. Impermanence is a law of nature. But we can still find a way for us to best navigate and stay human amidst it all. To stay connected to our humanity.

I’ll be sharing some evidence-based tips to help you still your mind and build the resilience to be present with the world in these uncertain times - and take care of yourself as well.

One of the first things I want to recommend is a news cleanse.

As humans, our brains didn’t evolve over millennia incorporating knowledge of the entire world and its issues. People have discussed the burden of being overwhelmed with day-to-day life since long before the rise of television and mass media.

Knowing that we weren’t really wired for all this doesn’t mean we should ignore the suffering or tune it out. It means we can allow it in intentionally and practice self-care to manage it. We can titrate how we receive it.

I personally remember not learning about 9-11 until three days later. And to me it seems ok that I learned about it not at the EXACT moment it occurred.

When you’re on a news cleanse, try to limit how much time and where you spend scrolling about news. I like to choose one or two reliable sources that do fact-checking and have a good reputation worldwide to be less biased than other sources.

Try not to check the news every day, or at least just check in once a day, and definitely not first thing in the morning. Or maybe only check it a couple times a week. Or avoid news completely for a few weeks altogether! The world will still keep happening and you will be able to catch up.

Another thing we can regularly practice is a social media detox.

I know it’s been mentioned before, but it’s hard to actually do. Don’t worry - you can totally start small. You can avoid all social media - or even delete or hide the apps - for as long as you want: a week, half a day, whatever! Anything will make a difference.

Imagine spending an entire day present with who you’re with, what you’re doing, the beauty around you… all without constantly checking your phone.

And when you do this for longer amounts of time, you’re able to move past the initial phase of FOMO. And you’ll get to drop in more.

I also highly recommend not checking email first thing in the morning.

This has made a huge difference in my day. When we check our email early in the AM, it can throw us out of alignment for the rest of the day. For me, I get so much email anxiety reading an ambiguous subject line from someone I’m working with or seeing the first few lines of an email on my phone. I even found out about my mom’s death via facebook messenger.

Before we allow outside news and communication to enter our mental space, we should first practice self-care. Then, whatever arises, we will be more able to respond with clarity, wisdom, and compassion - than had we not first gotten into alignment.

One thing we can do instead of checking our phone or email is to start off the day with 3 gratitudes, which really helps set a great tone for our mindset of the day. Check out Episode 81 on the importance of a daily routine for some great tips on ways to start your day off in alignment (linked below in the resources).

Also, when it’s time to check your messages, remember that no emergencies are sent by email. Sure, people will freak out and want stuff handled ASAP, but that does not make it an emergency. They can wait. Or they can call.

There are other tips I share in the pod, but The last suggestion I want to share here is to spend time in nature.

This is my most fave thing to do from this list. Time in nature really healed me from the super messed up week I talked about in the last episode. I went camping with a friend and once we arrived and got set up, I was able to just chillax. I watched the waves and the kids playing. I listened to the birds, the wind, the ocean… And I didn’t listen to any music.

Nature allows me to quiet my mind, heal, and pray. It helps my busy and noisy brain to slow down and quiet down.

I did a course with Alex Franzen called Marketing Without Social Media and she talked about the 3-day effect. Basically, this guy who used to be a river rafting guide would notice that on day 3 of his trips, there would be a shift in energy of the group. He called it “third day magic.” He believed this occurred because it took 3 days to drop into a new reality. That it took 2 full days to “shed” civilization and allow a new perspective to set in.

Neuroscientist David Strayer agreed with this phenomenon when he noticed that he had some of his own best ideas arising after 3 days of camping in nature. He even did a study to test the 3-day effect and what he found was that at the end of a trip, if people are given a special word association test, those who experienced that 3-day effect performed 47% better. Which is HUGE. This study was replicated in different settings by different researchers too.

While time in nature helps you be more creative and productive, I share this more to help you be more human. A human BEING and not just a human DOING.

Look, I get that all of these things aren’t necessarily convenient. And they can be really hard to start to do - especially with the amount of time we spend on social media or just using our phones in general and the expectations people have. But you need this now more than ever. You need to unplug. Cleanse. Take care of yourself. As humans, the level of this inundation of information is relatively new. We need to help our brains handle it.

So I’d like to invite you to pick at least one of the suggestions and implement it for a day (or 3 days, if you’re going out into nature). Do it regularly, plan in advance. Think of it as an exercise. Make it part of what you do to live your best life in this wild new world.

Do this regularly, because we need to give our brains a break so we can handle living in this wild new world. While being a human is amazing and we can cultivate the capacity to handle a lot in this world, we are…only human. Allow yourself this time to rest your mind and still your soul so you can make the most of your rebel life. 

// How to manage fear in a life full of uncertainty and impermanence

// 5 ways to find your center no matter what is happening in the world

// Why avoiding media (and emails!) first thing in the morning is so beneficial

// What the “3-day effect” is and how it helps us connect to our humanity and calm our minds (and yes - have more creativity too!)

// Episode 60: How to Stop Unnecessary Suffering

// Episode 63: Being Human is Hard (The First Noble Truth)

// Episode 81: The Importance of a Daily Routine

// The Nature Fix: Why Nature Makes Us Happier, Healthier, and More Creative by Florence Williams

// The 3-Day Effect Podcast by Florence Williams

// Statistics on daily time spent social networking

// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist FB group, and tune in every Wednesday at 11:30am PST as I go live. 

// If you’re in need of a powerful pause and ready for some re-alignment, shake up your life with the upcoming Adventure Mastermind. It’s a no-BS group of 6 womxn ready to slay the next year – YOUR way. Six months of transformation and adventures (inner and outer!) that will have you blowing your own mind, and you can learn more at www.AdventureMastermind.com Check it out – application is open, with an amazing limited-time bonus of a plane ticket credit to one of the retreats! You won’t want to miss the chance to hang out with me and a small group of rebel womxn in adventurous places to get unstuck and create the next chapter of your amazing life! 

// Want to dive into this work on a deeper level? To study it and practice it together? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out.    

It’s also where you can get individual help applying the concepts to your own life. It’s where you can learn new coaching tools not shared on the podcast that will blow your mind even more, and it’s where you can connect over all things freedom with other freedom junkies just like you and me. It’s my favorite place on earth and it will change your life, I guarantee it. Come join us at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there.

Last week, after DAYS of countdowns and chaos, my daughter and I packed up, grabbed the dog, and got on a flight to Hawaii. We were already over the Pacific ocean when the pilot announced they would have to turn around because of issues with their communication system.

So we fly back, get in line for another plane, and then I get called up to the gate agent, who told me I couldn’t be on the next flight because my dog had to be on a flight that landed before 11:30pm.

Uh oh…

I’m already exhausted and sleep deprived. Now someone is telling me that my backup plans won’t work either (and, by the way, what they were telling me didn’t even make sense because I had all the paperwork AND a message from my vet confirming the midnight arrival time was good to go).

And this person is asking me to process this and make a decision… all while out of alignment.

When the agent told me my next flight option was four days later and my daughter started crying, I lost it. I started freaking out - my head felt like it would explode, my breath got short and shallow, a threw in some f*cks and sh*ts…and now I’m the a-hole who is raising her voice at airline staff.

And the piece of me that meditates was reminding me to calm down, so I’m throwing out phrases like, “I’m not made at you…just the situation but…f******ck!” I was SO upset.

To make a long story short, the woman finds us a non-direct flight, which makes our 6-hour journey into a 36-hour one… and we get there in once piece and the vet checks off the boxes so my dog is good to go. And BTW the vet also said she asked aroun and never heard that rule (you know me…I like to be right;).

After all that, what I noticed was a lot of shame. Shame for how I responded, for having people see me that upset. For being a poor role model for my kid.

It’s so important for us to realize when we’re out of alignment and to know how to get back into alignment… and what to avoid until we’re good to go again.

Let’s start by looking at the signs of us being in or out of alignment. Think of it like a scale of -5 to +5. Being in +1 or +2 feels calm, confident, and centered. +5 is positive, confident, grounded, energetic. SUPER in alignment.

For me, the -1 and -2 have me being more impatient and irritable, and -5 is like full on raging.

When we’re in the negative, it may sometimes feel desperate - like I have to figure it out NOW and solve this problem now. But it will be way more effective if we take time to get aligned again.

Once we can notice those small indications of being out of alignment, we might also notice thoughts, behaviors, emotions and sensations that show up: critical self-talk, pessimistic thinking, and buffering behaviors (like reaching for another glass of wine or eating junk food for that dopamine hit).

Mindfulness of those thoughts is helpful because it’s often the thoughts we have about that stressful thing that throws us way out of alignment. It’s also a reciprocal relationship because the thoughts that come up are often impacted by how aligned we are too.

Once we have the mindfulness of thoughts, then before we process a situation or make decisions, or give OR receive advice, we ideally try to get back into alignment.

The key here is to change your physiology as soon as you notice, because hitting that -5 puts us in that fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode - a trauma response for many of us - and it is hard to recover when we are way down on the scale. 

Resetting ourselves helps us to gain a wider perspective, a more creative and compassionate perspective.

There are a lot of ways you can calm that nervous system. Relaxation breathing, splashing cold water on your face, taking a walk outside… and definitely using a self-compassion practice!

In addition to learning how you get out of alignment, it’s also helpful to notice when someone else is out of alignment. They are not in the place or process to have a conversation with you or make decisions or give you feedback when out of alignment.

If we could all see that and empathize with them and have compassion for them, that would be a game-changer, right? And isn’t that what we all want for ourselves? To be given the benefit of the doubt?

And of course, we will all mess up. But we can learn from it. We can continue to practice and try to do better next time.

Having compassion for ourselves won’t absolve us of responsibility, but it will help us see our humanity.

So listen: next time someone is lashing out, don’t listen to the words or the drama. See what happens when you listen to the suffering. 

I’d love it if the world gave me the benefit of the doubt. Wouldn’t you? If you trusted that they’d be like, “Wow she must be tired, or have had a hard day.”

And because we know that we’d love it if the world gave us the benefit of the doubt, maybe we can do it more for others.

We can say, “I choose alignment. I choose to give them the benefit of the doubt. I choose to give myself the benefit of the doubt.”

As Ram Dass said, we are all walking each other home.

// Why we shouldn’t make decisions + give OR receive advice out of alignment

// How to learn your own signs of being out of alignment

// Why thoughts and emotions are so critical in the cycle of mis-alignment

// How taking a pause can help us realign + some examples of ways to do that

// The importance of self-compassion + holding compassionate space for others

// How to proactively stay in alignment

// Episode 44: The Power of the Pause

// Episode 51: Self-Compassion

// House cat vs Serval Video (Facebook link)

// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist FB group, and tune in every Wednesday at 11:30am PST as I go live.

// If you’re in need of a powerful pause and ready for some re-alignment, shake up your life with the upcoming Adventure Mastermind. It’s a no-BS group of 6 womxn ready to slay the next year – YOUR way. Six months of transformation and adventures (inner and outer!) that will have you blowing your own mind, and you can learn more at www.AdventureMastermind.com Check it out – application is open, with an amazing bonus of a ticket credit to one of the retreats, and you won’t want to miss the chance to hang out with me and a small group of rebel womxn in adventurous places to get unstuck and create the next chapter of your amazing life!

// Want to dive into this work on a deeper level? To study it and practice it together? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out.   

It’s also where you can get individual help applying the concepts to your own life. It’s where you can learn new coaching tools not shared on the podcast that will blow your mind even more, and it’s where you can connect over all things freedom with other freedom junkies just like you and me. It’s my favorite place on earth and it will change your life, I guarantee it. Come join us at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there.

Hey, my wild and whacky humans! Well, life rarely goes as we expect, right? This week, it was my travel plans that were affected… on my way to my home in Hawai’i, no less!

So in solidarity of the absolute chaos I’ve been attempting to weather this week, I wanted to bring you a new Rebel Buddhist Greatest Hit: The Power of the Pause. Because we could all use a moment to stop, take a breath, and re-align these days!

I’ll be back next week with a new episode where I dive even deeper into why we need to realign before we react to anything - and how I was so, so, so naughty on this recent misadventure. I think #AdultTantrum would be a good hashtag. More next week. Enjoy!

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When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I was in graduate school, living in a friend’s basement. Suddenly, I was overcome with nausea, and I felt…awful. Instead of being with that, my brain went into planning mode. I started researching the web for answers and networking about creating an action plan. There was no pause, just diving into control mode.

Thankfully, my years of meditation practice kicked in and reminded me to pause. I noticed a big void. Then, big emotion. I started crying. I went to talk to my friends upstairs. I curled up in their bed and told them I had cancer. They hugged me as I cried.

I’ll never forget that. The intensity of letting myself pause, the tidal wave of emotions, the relief of finally BEING with what was happening at the moment… being with it fully and authentically.

Later in my life, I was a new nurse in a Level 1 Trauma Center at a busy urban hospital in California. I remember so clearly seeing my first death – an older man who had a heart attack at home came in by ambulance, and whose wife was still en route. After I completed my assigned duties, I went to the head of the bed while the busy resuscitation attempts were going on, and held his head in my hands, “It’s OK. I’m here. Everyone is doing everything they can. I am here for you. You are in the best hands possible. You just do what you need to do.” I told him he was loved, and it would be OK.

The time of death was called. I did a fast debrief with the team, then stayed behind for a moment as others left to deal with pressing cases.

I paused. I prayed. And then I left the room. 

This pause allowed me to feel in my body and my soul that he was a being, a fellow human being. Just like me.

I also recall pausing during joyful events, like when I gave the blessing of food at a friend’s wedding. I felt what was needed was a pause for reflection on the reason for the event: a sacred union, a commitment, a community bearing witness, and an honoring… and a coming together on a beautiful day with an abundance of food made by everyone in attendance.

We all sense these moments and the need to pause when we encounter them. We really touch into kind of a natural lightness, presence, intelligence, creativity…

Today I wanted to talk about pausing and learning to pause, especially in times of stress, because that’s when we most need to pause.

There are two large reasons it’s hard to pause:

We are part of a culture of DOING. Staying busy is a habit —human doing vs. human being. 

Doing is driven by the primitive brain. “Something is wrong… something is missing.” “I need to DO something to get ready/get it.” These thoughts permeate our days 

If you’re like me and enjoy trips out into nature, you know that piling logs onto a fire doesn’t make it bigger. It instead becomes too much; there is no room for oxygen to get in. The fire may never catch, even with an abundance of wood. Instead, we should pay attention to the spaces in between. Give fire this space, and it will grow.

The limbic brain controls our primitive instincts. It is hard to pause before those “doings.” We need to control and manage threats. Of course, there ARE threats that we should act on/avoid. But we get hooked on that action. We think there is ALWAYS SOMETHING – locked into incessant doing. Just the way the fire needs air and space to burn brightly, for our lives to burn brightly, we also need some space, right?

We sleep as a physical pause. We also need to pause mentally.

The challenge is that when stopping goal-oriented activity, we feel the vulnerability there. It doesn’t always feel good.

I’ve noticed that as I pause more and open to what IS – to the vulnerability of caring so damn much and seeing the suffering of all beings and having heartache… and to the light dancing on the water, the softness of my kid’s skin, and the sweetness of her voice… I cry a lot more. It can be achingly beautiful. We should be willing to sit and be present in the discomfort of the pause.

__ 

It’s part of American culture that being busy often equals importance. Or constantly doing equals adventure. And being stressed/busy triggers feeling threatened, which leads to aggression. This is a hijacking of the limbic system. It can create distance between loved ones and us.

The same goes for addictive behaviors. We give in to cravings and bad habits. We also see it in spiritual life. We want to find a specific feeling or meditative state instead of just feeling now. Or in today’s “busyness,” texting, checking emails, always being “on.” We fear the void that the pause brings. What if people judge me? It creates more distance.

So, when we don’t pause – to see what REALLY is happening either inside us or outside of us and in others – we don’t show up in a way we are proud of.

Viktor Frankl said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” That freedom includes love and wisdom.

So then… HOW do we pause?

There is the archetypal pause: The Buddha rested under the Bodhi Tree and was enlightened. He saw WHO we all are in our essence: our compassion, loving hearts, inner radiance.

While all of meditation is a pause as we intentionally step out of our habitual doing, continuing meditation involves being distracted by thoughts, becoming aware we have gotten distracted, and then sinking back into non-doing. It’s a cycle. It’s how we practice pausing—getting better in meditation = getting better at the moment, at the pause.

It is the same when we feel triggered and when we get hooked and want to react. Meditation helps us notice the space between a stimulus and a response – and allow us to pause in that moment.

The gift of mindfulness is with what is here, with recognizing the connection between our identity and the world. It allows us to respond to the world with wisdom and see suffering in others, ourselves, and also to see beauty. We find Ziji – radiant inner confidence – within us. We are with what IS. We have opened ourselves to choice, creativity instead of reactivity. That is the power of the pause.

Experiment now and take this moment to pause. Bring it to a situation where you get hooked. Remember the situation as an observer, like someone watching a movie. See what triggers you. Then pause right before you would normally react.

In that pause, breathe. Notice your body. Experience the vulnerability when you observe this moment.. Bring kindness and attention to the pause – let go of judgment. And let it include attending to the other person too.

What do you notice about their vulnerability, insecurities, unmet needs?

How would you like  to respond during this triggering event in the future? How can you show up in true mindfulness, compassion, and wisdom?

Doing this in real life is a lot harder than visualizing an event. Continue to practice on your own, and you’ll be more ready when people become involved. The pauses will give you access to those qualities that are part of your true nature – that deep intelligence and love and creativity that is our nature – in all of us.

This also helps us create some space to let what needs to happen, happen.

The same process also unfolds on a more societal and global scale. When people from diverse backgrounds pause together and deepen being present with one another, we have more possibility to see past the fear and the surface words and actions and remember: Oh, just like me, you too want to love and be loved. This is so greatly needed in the world right now.

It’s a radical thing – a rebellious act… to have that intention not to keep doing anything, not controlling anything… to say YES to experiencing life completely awake, senses wide open with a non-doing presence. And to create sacred moments throughout your day to consciously cultivate this.

For you rebels, set the intention for more pauses. Throughout the day, pause, and breathe. 20 seconds.

See what happens in your life when you pause like this. It could change… everything.

In this Episode you will learn:

// Two HUGE reasons it’s so hard to pause

// The power pausing has in your life and society 

// The dangers of not pausing 

// How to practice pausing daily 

Resources:

// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist FB group, and tune in every Wednesday at 11:30am PST as I go live.

// If you want to take a powerful pause, shake up your life with the upcoming Adventure Mastermind. It’s a no-BS group of 6 womxn ready to slay the next year – YOUR way. Six months of transformation and adventures (inner and outer!) that will have you blowing your own mind, and you can learn more at www.AdventureMastermind.com Check it out – application is open, with an amazing bonus of 1:1 coaching with me (expires soon!), and you won’t want to miss the chance to hang out with me and a small group of rebel womxn in adventurous places to get unstuck and create the next chapter of your amazing life!

// Want to dive into this work on a deeper level? To study it and practice it together? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out.   

It’s also where you can get individual help applying the concepts to your own life. It’s where you can learn new coaching tools not shared on the podcast that will blow your mind even more, and it’s where you can connect over all things freedom with other freedom junkies just like you and me. It’s my favorite place on earth and it will change your life, I guarantee it. Come join us at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there.

If you’re new to the squad, you may not have heard about my weekly live streams every week in the Rebel Buddhist Facebook group. They’re called “Wake the F*ck Up Wednesday,” and since they’re in the morning for most of us in the U.S., a lot of people think the name is because I’m a morning person and I really love to wake everyone else up with explicatives like, “Hey! Wake the F*ck Up!”

While I often start the live stream that way, it isn’t why I named it that. That story starts over a decade ago.

I was at the peak of a lot of areas of my life. I had been accepted to the #1 school for my program, I had been offered a contract as a climbing guide in Alaska. I was married to my first husband who was a great guy. My relationship with my mom was on the mend, and my dad was relatively stable…

Life was good.

Until one night when I met up with my then-husband to go climbing and grab dinner. I drank one beer and had some fish and chips, and that evening I was in the fetal position on the bathroom floor and in an insane amount of pain. I took some meds, and they helped a little, but the pain was still there, so when I got back to San Francisco, I immediately went to UCSF and was scheduled for an abdominal ultrasound.

The next day I had my ultrasound, and when the tech said, “I’m going to get the doctor who will be right in,” I knew that it wasn’t good. There was no smiling. No, you’ll hear back from your primary care doc in a day or two.

The doctor explained that I had a cyst on my kidney, and the chances of it being cancerous was low, but I should get a CT scan. A few weeks later I got the scan and… it’s clearly cancer. And everyone is shocked.

So of course, I do a big search engine deep dive about my cancer, and it says that only 5% of people with my type of cancer live past 5 years.

There’s a lot more story to this, but we will skip ahead a bit and say the stars aligned and I managed to advocate for a new surgery (I was even written up as a case study), which truly saved my life.

So when I had my surgery and was told I was in for a long recovery time of chill and rest, and when I was in fear about the cancer returning, I realized that I didn’t have a true realization of the teachings from my long-term Buddhist practice and meditation on death and impermanence.

I had a fierce attachment to my life as it was, and I was worried I would become seriously depressed if I couldn’t climb or adventure again or if my brain and intellect was permanently altered.

Ultimately, my cancer became a path for me to discover how to source happiness from within me. It sounds cliché, but only if you haven’t had it happen to you. This was sourcing a type of happiness that no illness or IQ drop could take away from me.

Fast forward a bit: I was cancer free for several years, working a dream job catching babies, learning to be a life coach, and getting regular scans each year.

After one of my regular scans, I get a voicemail from my oncologist, asking me to call him back - which I immediately do. They told me I had to wait until Tuesday to speak with him, which seriously stressed me out… I had to wait a whole weekend for my results! 

During that weekend, I did a coaching class where I volunteered to be coached in front of the group. I opened up about my fear of dying and immediately started crying. I wasn’t ready yet.

Then the coach, Sabina Wyss, who was like a freaking Jedi that day, put on a timer for 2 minutes and told me that I had until that timer went off to tell everyone in the room what I wanted to say, eye-to-eye. And at the end of that time, I would be dead.

All my barriers fell down, and I surprised myself by yelling out, “Wake the f*ck up! You’re going to die, and you don’t know when! Don’t live a life with regrets. If you want to tell someone you love them, tell them!

Forgive them. Hug them. Make love to them. Stop pushing away those who want to love you.

Let go of the anger and the resentment and the hate and the fear. Stop thinking you can do it later or some other day. Wake the f*ck up. You’re going to die and you don’t know when.”

At the end, I was spent, exhausted, and crying, with snot all over… but I said what I felt was the most important thing I could say to that group.

And you know what, rebel?

That hasn’t changed to this day.

That’s why today, over a decade later, I have the “Wake the F*ck Up Wednesday” live stream every week. It’s why I designed the Adventure Mastermind around becoming intimate with this truth.

It’s why I coach and have this podcast and created Freedom School.

In my opinion, if you live a life of adventure and do cool shit without the tender preciousness that comes with knowing this life is fleeting and temporary… you’re missing out on a whole new level of presence and joy and connection.

It’s a bit ironic or paradoxical that in thinking about our death, our life becomes more infused with life. With presence and love and kindness. But it is true.

I don’t want YOU to have to wait for a Universal two-by-four to hit you upside the head before you start taking the preciousness and fleeting nature of this life as a sacred privilege - every day.

So yeah - let’s all wake the f*ck up. Now. Because the truth is, we don’t know how much longer we’ll be here. And when we embrace that, we live life with a helluva lot more vitality, passion, love, compassion, adventure, joy… and a whole lot less unnecessary suffering.

// The one thing I need the world to know before I die (hint: it’s to wake the f*ck up!) - and why

// Why you shouldn’t wait for something like the Big C (cancer, or an accident or severe illness etc.) before doing the soul work.

// Why knowing we are only here for an undetermined amount of time is not scary – it's enlivening.

// How my cancer diagnosis taught me to let go of the sh*t that doesn’t matter

// How you can wake the f*ck up… and why you need to do it RIGHT NOW

// Episode 9: Impermanence, Death, and Other Sexy Things

// If you’re new to the squad, grab the Rebel Buddhist Toolkit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll also get access to the Rebel Buddhist FB group, and tune in every Wednesday at 11:30am PST as I go live.

// If you’re ready to *truly* know yourself – all of you – and to start actively transforming old broken habits into new healthy mindsets, check out the upcoming Adventure Mastermind. It’s a no-BS group of 6 womxn ready to slay the next year – YOUR way. Six months of transformation and adventures (inner and outer!) that will have you blowing your own mind, and you can learn more at www.AdventureMastermind.com Check it out – application is open, with an amazing bonus of 1:1 coaching with me (expires soon!), and you won’t want to miss the chance to hang out with me and a small group of rebel womxn in adventurous places to get unstuck and create the next chapter of your amazing life!  

// Want to dive into this work on a deeper level? To study it and practice it together? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out.  

It’s also where you can get individual help applying the concepts to your own life. It’s where you can learn new coaching tools not shared on the podcast that will blow your mind even more, and it’s where you can connect over all things freedom with other freedom junkies just like you and me. It’s my favorite place on earth and it will change your life, I guarantee it. Come join us at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there.

This episode is all about being a leader in this world and our own lives every day. It’s about entering the room and turning the vibe into what you see would be the most skillful at the time - instead of automatically letting that vibe affect and change you, which is more reactionary. Sort of like the difference between a thermostat – which regulates the environment – vs a thermometer, which reacts to the environment.

Here’s an example many of us have experienced: you’re on a plane and all of a sudden the plane drops into an air pocket and gets a little wobbly. And a few people gasp and the bell dings and they ask everyone to fasten their seatbelts…

After fastening up, what do you do? Personally, I look to the flight attendant. Are they freaking out? If so, you bet I would be too! If they are calmly flipping through a magazine, I start to let go of my anxiety and try to relax.

A good flight attendant is not the thermometer, letting the scene’s temperature and vibe lead to some reactionary behavior. A good flight attendant is acting like a thermostat - with the ability to impact the people around them.

Just like them, you can be the emotional thermostat in a given scenario, able to impact the entire room. 

When I worked in the ER and a new trauma case came in, or when I would come into a birth full of tension and anxiety, or even when I was guiding and there was a rock fall or an avalanche was set off, it was literally my job to keep cool. I discovered it was one of my superpowers – to remain calm when shit was hitting the fan. 

In those situations, I often heard, “When you walked into the room, I felt a shift.” Which is good, because that it what I intended to do – and the thing is, you do it, too. You impact a room when you walk in - but the degree to which you do it is up to you.

Sure, sometimes I had to fake that calm and control because I knew that if I lost it, then everyone else would, too. But it began to come naturally to me, more and more. You can do this too.

Our capacity for having an impact on others is well-known in Buddhism (and Western psychology) and it’s one of the reasons we practice, right? It’s why we meditate or do yoga or listen to podcasts. We’re learning to free our minds from getting hooked by emotions that are more like thermometers… more reactionary.

In addition to lessening our own suffering, it’s so we can be a touch of calm in the center of this storm of life. Or be the touch of positivity, hope, humor, or love.

We all have that capacity to influence those around us in this way. Not just in emergencies, but in day-to-day life.

At the end of my yoga practice, I like to dedicate, “May this practice not just benefit me, but all I come into contact with.” When we can make a dedication like this, we own that we impact the energy of the space we are in.

So as you move about your day today, try to notice how you’re showing up. Are you entering into challenging situations and allowing them to impact you such that you react to them? Are you just wishing it didn’t make you feel that way… wishing for that change?

Or do you intentionally set the tone and be the change you want to experience?

As we cultivate our wisdom, compassion, and ability to create more time in that pause between perceiving a situation and responding to it, we will become more and more skillful at it.

And if you’re faltering with that practice these days, hang in there! That’s why we practice. We are all connected. How we show up has an impact in the world.

It matters. You matter. A LOT.

// The difference between being a “thermometer” vs a “thermostat”

// Why we need to shift from reacting to a situation to creating it intentionally.

// How this shows up in how we take a leadership role in our own lives

// One dedication you can practice to start owning your energy + impact

// Episode 44: The Power of the Pause

// If you’re new to the squad, grab the starter kit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll get access to the private Facebook group where you can ask me questions! Once you join, there’s also a weekly FB live called Wake the F*ck Up Wednesday, where you can get coached on things that come up as you do this work – in all parts of your life. 

// If you’re ready to *truly* know yourself – all of you – and to start actively transforming old broken habits into new healthy mindsets, check out the upcoming Adventure Mastermind. It’s a no-BS group of 6 womxn ready to slay the next year – YOUR way. Six months of transformation and adventures (inner and outer!) that will have you blowing your own mind, and you can learn more at www.AdventureMastermind.com Check it out – application is open, with an amazing bonus of 1:1 coaching with me (expires soon!), and you won’t want to miss the chance to hang out with me and a small group of rebel womxn in adventurous places to get unstuck and create the next chapter of your amazing life! 

// Want to dive into this work on a deeper level? To study it and practice it together? Check out Freedom School – the community for ALL things related to freedom, inside and out. 

It’s also where you can get individual help applying the concepts to your own life. It’s where you can learn new coaching tools not shared on the podcast that will blow your mind even more, and it’s where you can connect over all things freedom with other freedom junkies just like you and me. It’s my favorite place on earth and it will change your life, I guarantee it. Come join us at JoinFreedomSchool.com. I can’t wait to see you there.