Rebranding Middle Age

In this solo episode I talk about being a Questioner and 'wrestler.' One who must grapple with things in order to make peace with life or the circumstance in front of me, and find my way forward.

If I lived full time in grief or pain, or in the grappling process, this would hold me back from living fully and thriving forward. But resistance itself is not wrong or bad. It’s part of the grief process. The letting go process. Coming to terms with things really and truly. Not just shoving down our feelings or pain and pretending all is well.

If you’re in a season of needing to let go of the life you wanted to embrace the one you have, I share 5 truths to help you honour your process, move at a soul-honouring pace, and offer yourself compassion each step of the way.

Read the blog post: Let Go Of The Life You Wanted And Embrace The One You Have

Sign up for the free Quiet the Noise Challenge: Join The Quiet The Noise Challenge: Nov 18-22 | A Life In Progress

Midlife is a great unraveling and re-envisioning/reconstructing. It’s a time of hard and brave work and this work (if we are able to say yes to it) takes us deeper and deeper into freedom and joy (though this does not mean joy feels accessible in every moment). We are invited repeatedly to come face to face with reality, grapple with all our expectations and illusions about how life should be and how it will be if we follow the right rules and jump through all the right hoops…. when it turns out that life is not quite so controllable. I have been brought to my knees over and over.

I’m happy today to welcome two guests to join me for a conversation around Letting go of the life you wanted and embracing the one you have.” We talk about addiction, grief, perimenopause/autumn seasons, and more.

Dr. Mikala Albertson is a board-certified family practice doctor, author, and well-being advocate who is passionate about women’s health and healing in the imperfect bodies we actually have. She’s the author of the books Ordinary on Purpose and her new release Everything I Wish I Could Tell You About Midlife. Mikala inspires readers every day to stop striving for “perfect” lives or some unattainable cultural ideal of “beauty and wellness” and instead aim for wholehearted living through a gentle, achievable, sustainable approach.

Connect with Mikala: https://www.mikalaalbertsonmd.com/

Jennifer Arnspiger is a Certified Somatic Trauma Integration Coach, INFJ Empath and Somatic Writing Coach for deeply sensitive women. She is highly sensitive, emotionally intense and passionate about honoring what our bodies have been through and the stories and emotions they hold. Jennifer has been a trauma-informed writing coach for 7 years and helps deeply sensitive womxn resolve somatic trauma and come home to their bodies through writing - with private coaching, self-paced writing courses and intimate writing circles.

Connect with Jennifer: https://www.jenniferarnspiger.com

Come connect with me over at https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/ or on Instagram.

We talk about my Hope Map Graphic and the seasons we're in. You can find my graphic on my home page: Befriend Your True Self and (Re)Claim Freedom, Wholeness + JOY (alifeinprogress.ca)

*Heads up: there's swearing in this episode.

In today's conversation, I'm joined by two guests: Anno Bell and Chantal Gauthier-Vaillancourt. We talk about the messiness of middle age and how our thinking has shifted or how we've grown and healed so far in midlife. And we chat about joyful aging (and Chantal bravely shares about her current experience).

Anno Bell is an exuberant lover of all things wild, and a sensitive soul that creates beautiful things out of scraps of glass, vintage trailers and old pieces of fence board. She is mama to four humans and works as a both a birth and postpartum doula and a breath facilitator. She hopes through her work and play in the world to bring folks a deep sense of being seen and heard, and a safe space where they can be compassionately witnessed and supported in their journeys. Anno turned 50 in March of this year and is so far equally enthralled and challenged by this season. Her new website is in development but you can connect with her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cedartreecoaching

With two decades of dedicated service in the holistic health field, Chantal Gauthier-Vaillancourt worked 8 years as massage therapist, nearly 6 as a certified doula, and then 12 years as a Registered Midwife. She has attended over 500 births, witnessing the beautiful miracle of new life with its strength and fragility firsthand. Being a primary care provider has granted her the privilege of accompanying women during this vulnerable and transformative time in their lives. Chantal has recently released a podcast and a new website in order to offer an online program she is co-created for expectant families called A Peaceful Gestation with the hopes of reaching more people who may not have the Prenatal care they want or need. On a personal level, she has grown and learned major life lessons while thriving through cancer twice. She is a devoted wife and a mother to two sweet children who (mostly) bring her joy. Connect with her here: https://apeacefulgestation.com

RESOURCES

The Brave + Beautiful Community: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

How I honestly used to think and what changed for the better: How I Honestly Used To Think And What Changed For The Better | A Life In Progress

I’m firmly in my messy middle season of life and it’s been a season of stretching, stripping away, meeting and befriending my True Self (or finally growing into my True Self). The past 13 years have also invited me deeper and deeper into freedom and joy. Greater freedom is one of the most important gifts of middle age.

I care about Joyful living in every season – even the hardest of them. Choosing to allow joy into our lives amid heartache, struggle, uncertainty, and general life messiness is hard and brave work. I’ve done my share of hard and brave work. This is, of course, why I focus so much on the practice of making peace with messiness to make space for joy in our body and life. I emphasize the practice part. It’s an ongoing commitment and some days are way harder than others.

In this episode I discuss:

• What Rebranding Middle Age Means
• How I define middle age
• What I mean when I talk about joy
• Joyful aging is simply part of joyful living in every season
• I believe joyful aging begins in our 40s, 50s, and 60s
• 2 key things that support joyful aging and joyful living and these are things that we an work on or have a measure of control around
• Letting go of attachment to the past or to our old dreams is essential if we want to thrive forward or live joyfully

Resources:

• Why You Need to Rebrand Middle Age to Live Joyfully: Why You Need To Rebrand Middle Age To Live Joyfully | A Life In Progress
• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community Autumn Session: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress
• Sign up for the Monday morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress
• Book by Dr. Gladys McGarey: The Well-Lived Life: A 103-Year-Old Doctor’s Six Secrets to Health and Happiness at Every Age.
• You'll find my Hope Map Graphic on this page: Befriend Your True Self and (Re)Claim Freedom, Wholeness + JOY (alifeinprogress.ca)
• "There's some evidence to suggest that specialized cognitive behavioral therapy can improve a sense of purpose in life, as well as meaning in life" (I didn't look for studies): Will a purpose-driven life help you live longer? - Harvard Health

If we shift our focus from creative product or outcome to creative process, then it’s easier to understand that we are all inherently creative. We can stop comparing, judging, or fighting our unique creative process and instead hone it. Or at least trust it, so that we’re able to use it to bring our vision or dreams to life.

Furthermore, I’d love us to release the idea that creativity is only about problem solving or attaining a precise end-goal (attachment to outcome). I see living creatively – or handcrafting a brave and beautiful life – as a process. A choice to honour the beauty and wisdom of every season. A process of learning to trust ourselves and become our most honest and healed/integrated selves. A journey that is above all about experiencing the world and life more than about producing or consuming.

In this episode I share:

• A four stage process of creative breakthroughs and moments of insight.
• An example of how this operates in my life and why this was soooo affirming for me.
• Who might have a harder time trusting this process.
• How focusing on process over product or attachment to specific outcome lowers anxiety, increases joy, and helps us develop self-trust.
• Life visioning and taking the longer view - and thinking of our whole lives as a creative process.
• And I refer to 12 lies that keep us from a creative life.

In the episode blog post I link to a scientifically validated assessment that measures four types of skills that help people express their creativity - and share more nerdy science. :)

Thanks for being here with me - enjoy your summer!

krista xo

My guest Julie and I talk openly about many common midlife experiences including:

1. We speak about menopause, suicidal thoughts, and also how it can be hard in times of darkness to reach out for support.
2. Empty nest can feel really hard and can include a lot of sadness or grief.
3. Shifting from the story “I am flawed” to self-compassion and greater self-love.
4. Many of us seek deeper connection but have a rejection wound. Yet deep connection requires being ourselves rather than masking.
5. Walk toward what lights you up. Having a life vision can help us move toward what brings us joy.
6. We need to learn to hear our inner voice and develop self-trust. Many of us get earnest about this in our 40s or autumn season of life.
7. We talk about Julie's new guide "understanding autism in sensitive women." Get the autism guide here.

Julie Bjelland is an LMFT, a Licensed Psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment, specializing in high sensitivity and adult-diagnosed autism in women. Her passion is helping create a world where differences are embraced as strengths and celebrated. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com.

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

Connect with Krista on IG

Connect on FB: A Life in Progress and/or Rebranding Middle Age

*Heads up: there's swearing in this episode.

Today's guests, Kathy Escobar and Phyllis Mathis, have been soul friends for almost two decades and are the hosts of the Soul + Practice podcast dedicated to raw conversations and real practices. Their work is centered on healthier human-ing and making it in this weird world. Phyllis did this as a therapist for many years and now is a life coach and author of The Subversive Soul: The Gentle Revolution Everyone Needs. And Kathy is a non-profit leader and community cultivator and author of several books, including Practicing: Changing Yourself to Change the World. More at kathyescobar.com and phyllismathis.com.

In our conversation we talk about play - how play is about motivation more than behaviour - and what that looks like for each of us as an Enneagram 2 (Kathy), 9 (Phyllis), and 1 (me). I invited each of them to take a short quiz to discover their "play personality"' which is based on the work of Dr. Stuart Brown. You can take the quiz here: Understanding your Play Style - LindsayBraman.com.

We also talk about what it means to each of us to "live on purpose" midlife and beyond. In the summer session of the Brave + Beautiful Community, members will be invited to explore their own sense of purpose, how to thrive and feel alive, and we'll do some dreaming/visioning for our lives. Learn more here: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

Sign up for the Monday Morning Hope Map:

Connect with Krista on IG

Connect on FB: A Life in Progress and/or Rebranding Middle Age

Thanks for being here and listening. I appreciate you.

Grieving the Loss of a Parent: Episode 191: Grieving the Loss of A Parent with Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui — Julie Bjelland

Thriving Through and Beyond Grief as an HSP: Episode 180: Thriving Through and Beyond Grief as a Highly Sensitive Person — Julie Bjelland

See you next week,

Krista xo

I believe that there is wisdom and beauty to be mined in every season – even the hardest of them. Do you want to live fully present and scan for the wisdom and beauty already present in your life?

• What are the simple everyday gifts of your life in this season? Savor them.
• What is your current growth edge? Look for one way each day or week to move forward in this area.
• What are you curious about right now? What stretches and excites you? Give yourself permission to follow your train of curiosity without holding tightly to outcome.
• What dreams or ideas are arising even if they feel impossible in the moment? Can you give yourself permission to name them or own them without judgment or needing to know how to bring them to life?

Letting go so we continue to grow requires a willingness to let go of what used to be to make space for what’s next. This includes letting go of the beauty of a past season and unfulfilled dreams or expectations. And in many cases it involves releasing unforgiveness or pain so that we are free to keep living fully and thriving in every season.

Furthermore, this process requires giving ourselves permission to quit, pivot, change course, and change our mind. And it usually involves a lot of truth-telling about the current state of our health, relationships, how we’re valuing ourselves, and more.

Sign up for the Reignite Your Creativity Workshop: Dream, Expand, Express Yourself: Reignite Your Creativity Workshop (alifeinprogress.ca)

Connect on Instagram: Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui | Joyful Living Educator (@a_life_in_progress) • Instagram photos and videos

Seasonal Mindfulness Journals: 52 Mondays: Seasonal Mindfulness Journals | A Life In Progress

In this episode I welcome my friend Betsy Huggins as a guest to the Rebranding Middle Age podcast. Betsy and I have been friends for years and we've collaborated on various projects including my Seasonal Mindfulness Journals.

Betsy is autistic and lives with FND (Functional Neurological Disorder). Part of her experience is that she can struggle with sensory regulation. When her nervous system is overloaded she may experience facial tremors, a stammer, and/or tics.

One of my key takeaways from our conversation is how she's shifting her focus away from trying to find a 'fix' for her condition and instead learning how to find safety in her body/nervous system exactly as she is.

Betsy shares a story that she has needed to rewrite for herself. She shares openly about how difficult it can be as a neurodivergent human to own her value in a culture that celebrates constant productivity and performance. We also talk about how she expresses her creativity in this season of her life.

Connect with Betsy on Instagram: Betsy Huggins (@betsy.huggins) • Instagram photos and videos

Betsy on Substack: Tiny Giant | Betsy Huggins | Substack

Krista on Instagram: Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui | Joyful Living Educator (@a_life_in_progress) • Instagram photos and videos

Sign up for the Reignite Your Creativity Workshop: Dream, Expand, Express Yourself: Reignite Your Creativity Workshop (alifeinprogress.ca)