Rebranding Middle Age

*Head's up: there's a swear in this episode. Also Kate's sound quality is a bit warbly at times but doesn't hinder the conversation.

I'm delighted to welcome my first guest to the podcast! Kate Codrington is a mentor, author, speaker, facilitator, artist and podcaster.  She's the author of Second Spring: the self-care guide to menopause, and her second book, The Perimenopause Journal, will be out September 2024 (Find her full bio here.)

Kate and I had a conversation about this season's theme "Old stories. New possibilities."

• Kate shares about the season she’s in as, at 58 yo, she moves closer to Second Summer. She shares what this feels like in her body, life, and work of this season. We also talk about staying in discomfort and how the work of this season prepares us for what’s next.
• She shares her observation that in the wellness industry or those of us working online often feel pressure to project an idealized version of life and self.
• She shares about her current growth edge which is having courage to trust in the liminal spaces. And also allowing her insides (or her full inner truth/Self) a more honest expression in conversation and community.
• and more!

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Kate's Free resource library: https://mailchi.mp/a8a0fa08678a/resource-library   
• Kate's Website: https://www.katecodrington.co.uk/ 
• Kate on IG: https://www.instagram.com/kate_codrington/ 
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Who is writing or telling the stories of your life?

We all have stories playing out in our life, many unconscious, others that we are aware of yet believe or receive without examination. Most are rooted in conditioning of culture, religion, family of origin – or they may go further back.

If we want to walk in freedom, wholeness, and joy, we must do the work to open up to a new hopeful and joyful possibility. We need to question or examine the stories we believe about life, Self, our value, what we require for happiness, etc. We need to wake up to our all or nothing thinking, the ways we set limits on ourselves, or how we constantly raise the bar and then judge ourselves as less than.

When we’ve been living out a story for decades (ex. I’m not good enough) it can feel impossible to change things up. But often all we need to do is to crack ourselves open even a tiny bit to a new hopeful or joyful possibility. We can always write a new story for our life.

This season of the Rebranding Middle Age Podcast will focus on the theme of “Old stories. New possibilities.”

In this introductory episode I invite you to show up curious as you listen in and engage with the ideas offered over the next few months and notice what shows up for you. Maybe this is the season to unravel your story of “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t trust anyone.” Or perhaps your story sounds more like “I don’t have what it takes” or “I’m fundamentally flawed – bad, wrong, and broken.” (see episode page for more info)

Let's Connect! Contact Krista | A Life In Progress

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

As we wrap up this season and prepare for the next season's theme of "Old stories. New Possibilities" I remind you about a practice I have that helps us walk in greater freedom, wholeness, and joy.

I share about the cycle of self-awareness, self-compassion, and imperfect action that anchors my work and life. And I share about the "Shift Your Experience" model/exercise that you can use when an old unhelpful story rises to the surface asking to be heard.

As always, I'm practicing with you and I share a few recent (honest and vulnerable) examples from my life where old stories that have been at play in my life/behaviour/relationships came to the surface. Because I waws able to 'see' them, I was then able to begin writing new stories that will help me thrive forward.

If you'd love some modeling and support learning to walk in greater freedom, come join the Brave + Beautiful Community! Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

Or learn how we can work together privately: Coaching for Midlife Women who Choose A Brave and Joyful Life (alifeinprogress.ca)

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Freedom is one of my core 5 values. It's also one of my top 2 values. As a personal value, what freedom means to me (us) as individuals can vary season to season. It needs to be personal and precise. We need to reevaluate and reorient on occasion for it to be a meaningful source of direction or a meaningful filter.

This week, I've been listening inward and asking myself:

What does Freedom look, sound, and feel like for ME in this current season of my life? How am I practicing freedom? How am I walking it out in concrete ways? Where am I not in freedom? What precisely is interfering? Where am I holding onto old stories, habits, feelings that pull me out of freedom throughout the day?

I heard a quote this morning that aligned with where my mind and heart have been. “Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free.” -Peter Crone

In this episode, in addition to talking about ways I'm seeking more freedom in a few specific relationships, I also share other ways that I'm practicing greater freedom in this season of my life - in finances, in my mind-body health, in my healing work, and more.

In addition, I share briefly about 3 different conflict styles or "social stances." Understanding our dominant stance, and recognizing that of others we're in relationship with, can be a huge help when it comes to practicing healthier, embodied conflict.

Links/Resources

• As of today there are 9 spaces left in the Spring Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community!: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Happy spring! If you want to quiet the noise and practice a kinder way of being in your body and life, one of the most impactful choices you can make is to begin practicing Seasonal Living. There are, of course, many paths to wholeness, and many paths to a brave and beautiful life, but a seasonal living framework is one of the things that I know to be hugely impactful and empowering in life. It's a way to help us thrive and experience more joy in every season.

I began my seasonal living journey with menstrual cycle tracking in my early to mid-30s - and pretty quickly this changed my experience of life. I no longer felt buffeted about by hormonal shifts, changing moods, ebb and flow of energy. I began to understand what was happening in my body and the connection with my emotional state. It was here that my self-awareness soared and then I was able to become more proactive - I could plan accordingly.

Over the years my practice deepened and today I practice different layers of Seasonal Living. But today, we'll talk about using each seasonal shift throughout the year to look up (reorient and recalibrate), look in (slow downward to listen inward), and look around (make practical shifts or updates to our life) to support our overall wellbeing.

Links/Resources

• Guided life visioning process: A Guided Life Visioning Process | A Life In Progress
• Purposeful Printable Pack: Enjoy The Purposeful Printable Pack | A Life In Progress
• 52 Mondays Seasonal Mindfulness Journals: 52 Mondays: Seasonal Mindfulness Journals | A Life In Progress
• What's a Spring Season? What Is An Inner Spring Season? (How To Thrive In Spring Seasons) (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community spring session: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

In 2016 I wrote a short post that went viral around the world. It clearly touched something deep in many people. Here's one tiny snippet from that post that I want to talk about today: "What if I embrace my limitations and stop railing against them. Make peace with who I am and what I need and honor your right to do the same."

SHOW NOTES

Part of the conversation about embracing our limitations is really a conversation about what determines our worth. What are your markers of success or value? I do not believe our value and worth are tied up in self-improvement (or performing or jumping through hoops). When we stop railing against the reality of life, and we make peace with the full truth of who and how we are, beautiful things begin to grow.

I also talk about the story that bigger is better and that many people believe a 'small life' is bad or less-than. 'Small' or 'big' aside, what I care about is if our life is values-aligned. If we're building a soul-honouring and sustainable life. A right-sized life.

One way to deepen self-trust and have your own back is by honoring or embracing your limitations. When we befriend our whole selves we are more able to recognize where we have leaky boundaries, we are intentional about who and what gets our limited resources, we fill up and pour out from a healthy place, we learn to truly value ourselves, We live with more impact and joy.

But the conversation doesn't stop here. When I talk about embracing our limitations, I also encourage us to embrace our strengths and gifts. We are both strength and struggle, tangled up together. This too is part of the work of quieting the noise and befriending ourselves - the fullness of who and how we are.

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress.
• Learn how to work 1:1 with Krista - learn more here.
• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community: People on the waitlist get first option to join starting March 4th then early registration will open up and run March 11-22.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Relationships in middle age can be messy. They take work and nurturing at every stage of life. But in middle age - yikes! If you're growing, healing, becoming your most honest and integrated Self... this will affect your relationships. And this is as it should be.

SHOW NOTES

Healthy and brave relationships and community are so important to our health and wellbeing. But because they take work and we may at times feel like we're doing things so imperfectly or ungracefully, it can be tempting to withdraw or quit trying. But it's worth committing to ongoing skill-building and practice in this area.

But being messy and imperfect, in progress, is not a reason to give up. In fact, there is no other path forward. When things feel messy and challenging I like to remind myself "of course you don't know how to do this yet; you've never been here before!"

• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Embody a new story for your life: read here.
• Last chance to join the Make Space for Joy Workshop for free: sign up.
• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community: click here.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

We all need rest, probably more than we’re getting. Expanding our view of rest beyond naps or Netflixing is helpful and life-giving! Perhaps what you most need right now is sensory rest or creative rest. Or maybe it’s lowering the bar and being kinder to yourself.

SHOW NOTES

This is a two-part conversation about rest – you can listen to part one here. In part two of the conversation I talk about the How of rest using my handcrafting a life vision worksheet (below) as a guide. NOT the how as in specific forms of rest (see the Rest Worksheets for that), but more how can we make space for rest or get creative and more flexible about rest.

I’m often surprised that most people I connect with have not heard of Dr. Saundra Dalton’s “7 Types of Rest.” In the worksheets (see below to get them for free), I add an 8th type – friendship with self – because befriending myself has been the greatest source of deep, abiding rest for me. Without this, no amount of other forms of rest can resolve the underlying sense of never being good enough, or the resulting striving and jumping through hoops to prove our worth, that so many people live with.

In this episode I share ideas to consider when exploring HOW you might make space for more rest in your life – whatever season you’re in, including the hardest of them. To get started, I share The 10 Commandments of Rest from REST, by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang.

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress.
• Learn more about my Life Visioning Process.
• Learn how to work 1:1 with Krista – learn more here.
• Permission To Rest, Recalibrate and get resourced | A Life In Progress
• Get the Rest Worksheets here (free): 8 Types Of Rest: Free Worksheets | A Life In Progress
• Register below for the new Joy Workshop coming early March or learn more here. And you can also buy part one here. Free registration for the new workshop runs Feb 19-March 1.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

In a culture that idolizes productivity, it can feel countercultural to make rest an essential part of our life and goals. But when we prioritize rest, we cultivate creativity, increase productivity, and we live more joyfully.

In REST: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less, Alex Soojung-Kim Pang writes "Discoveries in sleep research, psychology, neuroscience, organizational behavior, sports medicine, sociology, and other fields have given us a wealth of insight into the unsung but critical role that rest plays in strengthening the brain, enhancing learning, enabling inspiration, and making innovation sustainable."

I would also argue that we have a right to rest simply because it’s a human need and we matter, not only as a means to any end goal. Yoga Nidra teacher and author of Daring of Rest, Karen Brody writes “We take rest like a pill for productivity. Let us rest without an agenda.” This can feel difficult because of the cultural conditioning and story that our worth is tied to our level of productivity.

In part one of this conversation I talk about the Why and What of rest using my handcrafting a life vision worksheet (below) as a guide. Do you see yourself in one of these 12 reasons that (collective) we don't rest?

1. Guilt, shame, judgment - ex. "It's lazy to rest / I'm lazy"
2. Conditioning that tells us our value is tied to (constant) productivity or being immersed in 'more-and-faster-is-better' or hustle-culture
3. Comparison - ex. "other people have it worse / can't rest so I shouldn't"
4. You're in an extremely hard season, hard circumstances, and you're doing your best to survive or pay the bills
5. Trauma - it doesn't feel safe to rest... (head to episode page for the full list!)

LINKS/RESOURCES

1. Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
2. Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress.
3. Learn more about my Life Visioning Process.
4. Learn how to work 1:1 with Krista - learn more here.
5. Permission To Rest, Recalibrate and get resourced | A Life In Progress
6. Get on my email list to get free access to the new Joy Workshop coming early March. You can buy part one here. Registration for the new workshop runs Feb 19-March 1.
7. Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

There's an African Proverb that goes like this "When death finds you, may it find you alive."

I've been thinking about this a lot - am I living fully alive? What does this look, sound, feel like in my body and life? As I was pondering this morning, these 6 characteristics came up for me (I expand upon them in the conversation).

I feel fully alive when...

1. I allow myself to feel.
2. I pause between impulse and response.
3. I am present in my day-to-day.
4. I show up as my True Self and walk out my values.
5. I honour my true capacity and do my own healing work/pour in.
6. I flex and stay open to the wisdom and beauty of each new season.

• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map (+50% off coupon code) | A Life In Progress
• Spring is coming! Seasonal Mindfulness Journals: 52 Mondays: Seasonal Mindfulness Journals | A Life In Progress
• The Enneagram: Exploring The Enneagram: You're More Than A Number | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• How To Meet and Befriend Your True Self | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress