Rebranding Middle Age

To live on purpose - to handcraft a brave and beautiful life - to be anchored in the storms of life - you need deep roots. We grow deep roots through conscious, consistent effort or 'watering' over time.

In this episode I use three examples of women somewhere in the middle season of life, and a situation they are grappling with. I walk through a cycle of self-awareness, self-compassion, and imperfect action to offer examples of how they might respond to the situation in front of them to thrive forward and continue building a soul-honouring life. You may not relate to these specific examples, of course, but you can try out this cycle yourself. As if you do so with consistency, you'll water these roots and, I trust, feel the lasting benefits.

My Hope Map Graphic includes this cycle of self-awareness, self-compassion, and imperfect action (see center of graphic on my site) that, as a practice, helps us put down deep roots that hold us fast in the storm. Just keep in mind, that the first two roots without the third will not move you forward.

For a brave and beautiful life, or a values-aligned and soul-honouring life, we must build the root of imperfect action through consistent practice (or watering). We find our way in action, not before. We grow into our wisdom, bravery, and strength as we go. One small step and then another.

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map (+50% off coupon code) | A Life In Progress
• Get to Know Yourself: 10 Ideas To Deepen Your Self-Awareness (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Self-Compassion Will Help You Become Your Own Best Friend | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Make Peace with Paradox + Practice Imperfect Action | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

A common experience that comes up in my work is grief and self-judgment when a client or community member feels that they have gone backwards in their growth. But we can’t go backwards; it’s impossible. We may feel like we’ve circled back to an old wound, or to something we believed we had already learned, once and for all.

But we are all in progress and we need repetition to truly move a new truth from head into heart and then deeper into the body until it lives in our bones or becomes embodied truth. We travel deeper, not wider. Life is more circular than linear. We learn how to practice a new skill or pattern in new circumstances. We take it to the next level. But we don’t go backwards. 

We're all simply practicing. We're all in progress, going deeper not wider.

There's so much pain and shame when we believe the story that we 'should' be better/different/further along than exactly where we are. This keeps us stuck in unhelpful patterns and robs us of living awake and present to the very real - imperfect and beautiful - reality in front of us.

With each repetition or encounter with a particular struggle/skill, we deepen our roots and our wisdom grows too. And as we go deeper, slow and steady, we encounter True Self hidden beneath layers of hurt, trying to get our needs met, and behavioral patterns constructed to help us feel safe and loved in this messy world. All the work we’ve done to get to this place in our journey, none of it is wasted. It’s all here with us as we face this new season or circumstance.

In this episode I share four gifts that come from accepting that we're all simply practicing and help us shift from shame or despair into agency.

• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map (+50% off coupon code) | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Every single woman I know, and each woman I work with, benefits from regular, gentle reminders to pause and name what she is already doing well. To be proud of herself and name all the ways she regularly shows up with strength and bravery. Life is messy and we need to remember that perfection is not required.

I certainly need regular check-points or invitations to do this for myself. It’s so easy to see all the things I want to do better, the problems that need resolving, goals that need mapping out, people to love, and so on. But when we take time to see that we are already doing well – to see our strengths and not only our struggle – then we are able to show up to life with resilience and (more often) joy.

SHOW NOTES

Thank yourself for all of your hard, meaningful, brave work. Be proud of yourself!

Regular checkpoints like at the end of each day (using my 3/2/1 exercise), at the end of each of week/month/season, and once or twice a year for a year-in-review process help us build this powerful practice into our lives. It won’t happen by accident.

Healthy community matters. The people you spend time with, the voices you listen to, all influence the ways that you speak to yourself, treat yourself, and how you show up to the fullness of your life. Choose your inner circles, in particular, wisely.

Spend some time deepening your roots of self-awareness and self-compassion with these 17 prompts (on my website - see link below).

• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community Winter Session (registration ends January 12th!): Join the Brave + Beautiful Community | A Life In Progress
• Free 25m zoom chat with Krista if you need help deciding if the B+B Community is a good fit for you in this season: Contact Krista | A Life In Progress
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Circle of impact: The Simple But Uncommon Boundary Tip You’ve Likely Never Considered + A Circle of Impact Exercise | A Life In Progress
• 3/2/1 exercise: 3 Important Questions I Recommend Adding To Your Evening Routine | (alifeinprogress.ca) and this episode shares more about the practice: Practice Self-Compassion Like Your Life Depends Upon It (alifeinprogress.ca)
• 17 prompts: Take Some Time To Be Proud of Yourself | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Home is sacred. A safe and loving home creates a sense of safety and security in this noisy and often challenging world. Home is a mental-health issue. That is, lack of affordable housing contributes to struggles with what we think of as mental health (but mental health doesn’t stand apart from all other forms of health). It’s important to me to feel safe, at home, and joyful in my body, home, and life.

Something I did not share in this episode, is that in the years since my son died, something that has been healing has been to pour some extra love into our home. I’ve done some renovations, decluttered a couple areas, created a new home office for myself, and continue saving money for needed updates. As I share in this episode, I’m not attached to a building itself. I’m attached to the FEELING of home as sacred.

In this episode, I invite you to explore your own relationship with home and environment. From who gets access to you, the rhythms and routines than lend themselves to joy, naming how you want to feel in your home, and how you might pour some extra love into your home… I hope this episode will get some new ideas simmering in you around how to honour the sanctity and gift of home and amplify joy.

• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community Winter Session (early promo Dec 4-15: join at current rate before price goes up in January + join the Seasonal Transition Call for free!): Join the Brave + Beautiful Community | A Life In Progress
• The Seasonal Transition Call – Winter Solstice ($90 or free for Brave + Beautiful Community Members): Join The Winter Solstice Call: Honour Your Wiring in Every Season (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Free 25m zoom chat with Krista if you need help deciding if the B+B Community is a good fit for you in this season: Contact Krista | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Home is sacred space. It's not the size or fanciness of home that matters. Feeling at home in our body and life is also sacred. We get to treat home (home in self) as sacred and be the gatekeeper of who and what gets access to us/our True Self.

Joy is relational; it's amplified when shared with others. But if we don't have a safe 'home base' within ourselves, we likely feel dysregulated often, or easily tip into old self-protective patterns, which impacts our relationships. We need to feel safe, at home, and (hopefully) joyful in our bodies and lives. When we reclaim home within ourselves we show up to our relationships in a healthier way.

In this episode I speak to four key ideas that help us come home to ourselves: we don't need fixing; we need witnessing (by self and others); daily recovery is necessary; we can make choices from a loving and nurturing place instead of from a rule-oriented, judging or shaming place; and we need to become awake to the cultural dictates that lead to burnout, bodily dissatisfaction, and self-abandonment.

LINKS/REFERENCES

• Sign up for the free Simplify + Recalibrate: Join The 5-Day Challenge! (registration ends Dec 1)
• Join the Brave + Beautiful Community Winter Session (early promo Dec 4-15: join at current rate before price goes up in January + join the Seasonal Transition Call for free!): Join the Brave + Beautiful Community | A Life In Progress
• The Seasonal Transition Call - Winter Solstice ($90 or free for Brave + Beautiful Community Members): Join The Winter Solstice Call: Honour Your Wiring in Every Season (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Free 25m zoom chat with Krista if you need help deciding if the B+B Community is a good fit for you in this season: Contact Krista | A Life In Progress
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

*Heads up: there's swearing in this episode.

Grief is always hard... but grieving over the holidays can be an extra layer of hard. Our grief doesn't need to be 'fixed.' It simply needs to be witnessed.

In this episode I share honestly about where I'm at and a few ideas for taking good care of yourself if you're grieving over the holidays.

• Sign up for the free Simplify + Recalibrate: Join The 5-Day Challenge! (registration ends Dec 1)
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Grief Support: Tools For Suicide or Child Loss | A Life In Progress
• The HSP Podcast Presents: Thriving Through & Beyond Grief as HSPs with Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui - YouTube
• How to Navigate the Inner Winter of Grief in Menopause (Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui)
• What Is An Inner Winter Season? (And How To Learn Trust And Practice Paradox In Winter Seasons) | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Phyllis Mathis MA (find her book bottom of home page)
• Soul + Practice: Raw Conversations & Real Practices with Kathy Escobar & Phyllis Mathis on Apple Podcasts
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

In theory at least, the holiday season is about gratitude, connection/community, a focus on what's truly most important. The reality for many, however, is an increase in stress, anxiety and depression.

I don't know what all is going on in your life, of course, but perhaps there are ways you can lower your stress through less performing, people-pleasing, and perfectionism while amping up your joy or wellbeing.

Next week the focus is on holding space for both joy and pain over the holidays.

If less performing and more joy this holiday season sounds welcome, then I invite you to spend time reflecting on the questions I share in this episode.

They are not magic .... just a simple invitation to get honest about the reality of your capacity in this season, the traditions that truly fill you up, and 'permission' to question and/or edit or release the rest.

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

1. Between Nov 20 - Dec 01, Sign up for the free Simplify + Recalibrate: Join The 5-Day Challenge! | A Life In Progress (runs Dec 4-8). If you tried to sign up before Monday, Nov 20, you will need to sign up again.
2. Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
3. Book your 2024 coaching space: learn more about 1:1 work with Krista.
4. Winter Mindfulness Journal: find all four seasonal mindfulness journals here.

Shoring up leaky boundaries (boundary work in general!) is essential to living with freedom, wholeness, and joy and walking out our core values. There are three clear cues in my body and life that I have one or more leaky boundaries that need attending to. These cues are: resentment, persistent anxiety, and avoidance.

In this episode I share 15 examples of leaky boundaries from my life, 7 common reasons midlife women struggle to articulate/communicate/honour healthy boundaries for themselves, the difference between a boundary with self and a boundary involving another person, and what a leaky boundary is and is NOT.

• How to Build Brave and Flexible Boundaries With Yourself First | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Reclaim Your Voice: How To Set Healthy Boundaries | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Are Boundaries Selfish? Boundaries Are Actually Compassionate: This Is Why | A Life In Progress
• The Simple But Uncommon Boundary Tip You've Likely Never Considered + A Circle of Impact Exercise | A Life In Progress
• Brave Boundaries Workshop, Part 1 | A Life In Progress
• Brave Midlife Boundaries Workshop, Part 2 | A Life In Progress
• The Four Tendencies Quiz | Gretchen Rubin
• Book your 1:1 client space for 2024
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

All or nothing thinking keeps us stuck in lack. It keeps us stuck in the story that 'when' circumstances align perfectly then we'll be happy, love ourselves, start writing, etc. But if you're open to living with more joy, then I recommend that you try 'all or something' thinking on for size.

We're all birthing something (or creating, handcrafting, bring to life or fruition, building, spilling over/offering something). But what happens when life is really messy and the waves keep on coming, intense as ever? Do we throw in the towel, sink into despair, or abdicate the privilege and responsibility of bringing our vision to life and/or helping build a world we want to live in?

In 2018 I wrote a simple post about choosing all or something. This practice has helped me over the past 5 years and continues to encourage me today. In this episode I chat about drawing a new map for this season of life, mining for the beauty and wisdom in every season, laying a foundation of health, and some of the ways I'm practicing all or something so that I can keep writing and showing up for life though I've been experiencing high anxiety.

• Just Choose All or Something: read the post here.
• Lunar Abundance, Dr. Ezzie Spencer: take a look here (referral link)
• Reignite Your Creativity Worksheets - get the worksheets here.
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

What do you want to be so filled up with that you leak it over into your circle of impact? What are you currently leaking into your circle?

LINKS/RESOURCES

• Cultivating Joy: How to bring more joy into your daily life | Globalnews.ca
• New life hack: The joy snack - The Washington Post
• Practice Self-Compassion Like Your Life Depends Upon It: Episode 2 (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Make Peace With Messiness to Make Space for Joy: Episode 4 | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.
• Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress