Recovery Elevator

Today we have Amelia, with 79 days since her last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

According to the HBO documentary, Risky Drinking, 70% of people drink. Most drinkers fall within the following spectrum: no risk, low risk, mid risk, moderate risk, severe and death. The documentary chronicles 4 people in different stages of alcoholism. If you are drinking to fix the problem that drinking has caused, you may need to watch this program and see where you fall on the spectrum.

SHOW NOTES

[ 10:39 ] Paul Introduces Amelia who's last drink was on 10/10/16.

[ 11:12 ] Have you had any close calls since you stopped drinking?

Amelia – Not really, although I was pretty irritable during Christmas time. Instead of drinking, I just went to bed.

[ 11:48 ] Tell us a little about yourself.

Amelia – I was born and raised in San Francisco. I am a social worker and work with children in the foster care system. I love to watch baseball games and travel.

[ 13:19 ] When did you realize that you had a problem with alcohol?

Amelia – I started noticing I had a problem approximately 10 years ago, but I was always able to justify my behavior. 79 days ago, I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired!

[ 14:32 ] Did you ever put rules into place to try and moderate your drinking?

Amelia – I would try to drink only at night and on the weekends. After a hard days' work, I felt like I deserved it. I had not had any bad consequences yet so this helped justify my drinking. Soon I implemented the "it's 5 o'clock somewhere" mentality.

[ 15:56 ] Did you have a bottom?

Amelia – I was kicked out of the Peace Corp for drinking too much. It was Independence Day in the Caribbean and after drinking all day, I decided that I wanted to go home. I ended up walking 7 miles in the rain back to my apartment with a co-worker. I would also not report to the Peace Corp my location at all times and this was a requirement.

[ 18:42 ] How did you get to 79 days without alcohol?

Amelia – I had a phone call with my parents to wish them a Happy Anniversary. I did not remember the phone call at all the following morning. It was a total blackout. I had asked myself, "Do I really want to be this person?" I called a friend who I trusted and they encouraged me to go to an AA meeting. I felt accountable.

[ 20:21 ] Tell us more about this accountability piece?

Amelia – I had spoken to this same friend about my concerns with alcohol about a year before. I also spoke to my mother. She informed me that she had attended an Al-Anon meeting 1 year ago as well because she too was concerned with my drinking.

[ 22:53 ] What was it like having repeated bottoms?

Amelia – I never thought they were real or deep bottoms. I did not have consequences or anything taken away from me because of my drinking yet.

[ 24:40 ] What do you think would happen if you drink again?

Amelia – It would be just a matter of time before something really bad happened.

[ 26:00 ] What is your plan going forward?

Amelia – So far AA has been working. If I think about drinking, I just follow the drunk all of the way to the end. I am attending the RE Retreat in Montana so that will hold myself accountable. Soon, I would like to start working the steps.

[ 30:12 ] What have you learned most about yourself?

Amelia – that I can be happy and have a better life without drinking.

[ 31:00 ] What advice would you give your younger self?

Amelia – to look at your bottoms and see them for what they really are. I would also listen more to my mother when she told me how alcoholism runs in our family.

[ 33:00 ] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? getting kicked out of the Peace Corp and hitting a parked car while drunk
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? one of my clients told me I smelled like alcohol and I blamed it on hand sanitizer
3. What's your favorite resource in recovery? AA
4. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? follow the drunk, be gentle with yourself and say the Serenity prayer often
5. You might be an alcoholic if….. you pee in your bed after a night of drinking

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Erik, with 67 days since his last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

What exactly is alcohol and how is it created? According to the book, Beyond the Influence, by Katherine Ketcham, the basic ingredient of alcohol is yeast. Let's just call it what it is; yeast dung to be exact. The yeast eventually dies off during the fermenting process leaving alcohol in its' basic form, which is ethanol. That's right folks! We have been consuming the same ingredient that is used in lacquer and dyes. Once we drink, the alcohol quickly passes through our cell membranes and enters the blood stream. Depending on our age, gender, or whether or not we have eaten, etc., alcohol affects us all differently. Beyond just the physically changes, alcohol also affects our emotional state. It has been known to exacerbate anxiety, stress and fatigue by triggering the body to release adrenaline artificially. No wonder those hang overs are so awful!

SHOW NOTES

[ 10:44 ] Paul Introduces Erik and asks when was his last drink?

Erik – 67 days ago and it feels good on most days

[ 11:13 ] Erik tell us a little about himself.

Erik – I am 31 years old and currently live in Dallas. I play and teach music and also enjoy cooking and exercise.

[ 13:42 ] When did you realize you had a problem with drinking?

Erik – After graduating from college, consequences started happening. I had crashed a few cars and received a few DWI's.

[ 15:11 ] Did you ever try to implement rules in order to moderate your drinking?

Erik – I was not real great at even putting rules into place. But I had an interlock (breathalyzer) put on my car and would try to moderate so that I could still start the car. One time I blew over the limit 3 times. I was more of a binge drinker. Once I started, I could not stop drinking.

[ 17:24 ] After your probation ended, you started drinking again. What happened?

Erik – When you are on probation, I think mentally you are just waiting for the time to be over. Once it is over, you can drink again. I continued to drink for 2-3 years without suffering any real consequences.

[ 19:00 ] Did your drinking progress or remain the same?

Erik – It progressed and I started driving when I shouldn't be again. I also started experiencing episodes of anger and rage, which was completely uncharacteristic of me.

[ 20:45 ] Erik shares a recent story of a wedding he attended.

Erik – I was running late for a wedding in which I was a groomsman. My mind made this a much bigger deal than it actually was so when I finally arrived, I headed straight to the bar. I stumbled to the service and was late for the photo shoot. I continued to drink and my mood kept deteriorating. After the wedding was over, I went to the after party and eventually blacked out. When I came to, I was in the middle of a brawl with a friend. I was very disappointed in myself and was worried that I had destroyed some friendships.

[ 27:45 ] How did you get to 67 days without drinking?

Erik – I had worked the AA program many years ago and basically got re-plugged in. I reached out to some previous people that I knew in the program, started going to meetings and got a sponsor.

[ 31:00 ] Paul and Erik discuss the gift of desperation

Erik – My last drinking memory was that wedding I attended. I am not sure if I can fix the damage that I did to some of those relationships. I do not want that last memory to define me.

[ 32:00 ] What is your plan moving forward?

Erik – I will continue to work my program, meditate and go to meetings. I would also like to start my own life now, by moving out of my parent's house and getting back on track.

[ 33:33 ] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? wrecking 3 cars, being in jail and having to call my parents
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? One night I was playing a show in Dallas. I knew I should not have driven home but I did it anyway
3. What's your favorite resource in recovery? AA meetings, listening to podcasts and reading.
4. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Recovery is a process. Stay busy with projects and fill in that time that you would normally drink with different things to do.
5. You might be an alcoholic if…. You use a blood alcohol calculator (BAC) in order to get past your car interlock

****Congratulations to our very own Brandy for reaching 1 year of sobriety****

Resources:

Books – Beyond the Influence by Katherine Ketcham and Living Sober by AA

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Tricia, with 30 days since her last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Congratulations Recovery Elevator on 100 episodes! How did we make it to 100 episodes? How else, but one episode (day) at a time.

Problem drinking that becomes severe is often given the medical term alcohol use disorder or AUD. Some interesting studies from the NESARC show that in 2012, 7.2% of the population surveyed had an alcohol use disorder (article found here: www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/alcohol-use-disorders.)

Europe also has an organization (the ECA) who conducts alcohol related surveys. They found that although people in Southern Europe drank larger amounts of alcohol, they were able to moderate their drinking. In comparison, there were more alcohol related fatalities in Northern Europe. Could this be because of binge drinking? Perhaps the folks from the South can drink 1-2 glasses of wine with their meal while people from the North are drinking larger quantities in one sitting? We will let the ECA draw that conclusion.

SHOW NOTES

[ 8:23 ] Paul Introduces Tricia who's last drink was approximately 30 days ago

[ 9:00 ] When did you realize you had a problem?

Tricia – I knew I wasn't a normal drinker even at the age of 23. I always knew that I would have to quit one day. I never drank just for the taste, it was always to get drunk. Once I started drinking, I could not stop.

[ 11:28 ] Did you ever put any rules in place in order to control your drinking?

Tricia – I tried switching to a drink that I did not like. This never worked and I would end up doing shots of something else. My fellow drinker friends thought this was a great idea! I was always into fitness and nutrition so I would make sure my daily caloric intake would allow for booze.

[ 15:41 ] Tell us about yourself?

Tricia – I am 35 year old chef who now owns her own business. I have always been a runner but also enjoy anything in the outdoors, such as skiing and snowboarding. I like to knit and cross stitch Gangsta Rap lyrics into items for friends. My only hobby before was drinking. I would work and drink. That was it.

[ 19:18 ] Did you have a bottom?

Tricia – I was a high functioning alcoholic. My bottom was very high. I would always pretend that I wasn't drunk or that I didn't have a hangover. My motto was, "I've Got This." When I went on a 3 day binger, 30 days ago, I was so hung over that I could even fake it. I had to stay in bed all day. That was the first time I experienced the physical withdrawals of sweating, fever and shaking.

[ 22:15 ] How did you reach the conclusion that you did not have control over alcohol?

Tricia – My friends and I were going out one night and rented a party bus. I was terribly anxious for weeks up until this party. I was afraid I would drink too much and black out. The black outs were getting to be very common. I ended up drinking too much and woke up the next day with bruises all over my legs. I did not remember falling down but obviously it had happened.

[ 24:48 ] Did alcohol play a role in your divorce?

Tricia – there were many other factors but both my ex-husband and I drank. When we fought, we had usually both been drinking. I wasn't supposed to be the drinker of the family. My brother was the center of attention since he had the alcohol/drug problem for years. I was the over achiever who still managed to get to work on time and function normally. Until I could no longer fake it.

[ 26:56 ] How did you get to day 1 without a drink?

Tricia – I had not planned on stopping drinking entirely. It basically snuck up on me. I had that terrible hangover and the physical withdraw symptoms so I called my brother who is now in recovery. He is very supportive. I went on-line and found the RE podcast and starting listening and hearing similar stories.

[ 30:28 ] What does a day in the life of Tricia look like?

Tricia – I started going to AA meetings. I ended up being late to my first AA meeting because I went to the wrong room. The security officer at the church shouted to everyone that the AA meeting was in the other room. Even though I was 10 minutes late for that meeting, I was really 10 years late in trying AA.

[ 34:51 ] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? the blackouts and everything that I do not remember
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? trying to moderate and being fearful that I would over indulge and put myself in danger
3. What's your plan moving forward? Every morning I read the Big Book pp 86-88. I meditate on those pages. I am also reading a book by Tara Brock called Radical Acceptance.
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery? AA meetings and connecting with other alcoholics
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? keep an open mind and forget everything you think you know. Do not try to do this alone.
   • you need alcohol to do simple tasks
   • you put vodka in your water bottle to go to the gym
   • you think you are an alcoholic
6. You might be an alcoholic if….

Paul ends the podcast with some questions for the listeners: What type of role does or did alcohol play in your life? Does alcohol dictate your life? Be honest with yourself.

Resources:

Paul will be speaking at a "This is My Brave" even on 1/22/17. The event is at the Moss Theater @ 4pm. The address is 313 Olympic Blvd, Santa Monica, CA. Tickets can be found here: www.bfrb.org

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Mona, with 2 weeks since her last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Paul starts the show by answering some "fan" mail questions about God and AA. Many listeners wonder how they can participate in AA without accepting a higher power. When the pain of drinking outweighs everything else, you just may be willing to try anything. Statistics show that alcoholism is on the rise but attendance at AA meetings is stagnant or even on a slight decline. Attendance at AA meetings may be on the decline because it is a religious based program and also because of the stigma involved (don't be a hater!).

In a recent article found on TheInfluence.org, http://theinfluence.org/american-gulag-the-five-ways-hundreds-of-thousands-of-people-are-coerced-into-rehab-and-aa/ , it is discussed how people are being forced into AA or rehab, either by employers or the Courts. Legally, however, a person cannot be forced into AA because it is considered a religious program. Experience shows us that you will be more successful in a program that you choose voluntarily. So whether it is AA, SMART, Life Ring, or your own personalized plan, find a program that makes you want to live and love life. Work that program as if your life depended on it (because quite frankly, it does!).

SHOW NOTES

[ 10:08 ] Paul Introduces Mona

She currently lives in Chicago. She is 23 years old, loves to read and create playlists. Mona is still figuring out all of the new things she likes to do now that she does not drink.

[ 13:43 ] When did you realize you had a problem?

Mona – it has been about 4 years in the making. When I was 19 years old, I drank way too much and was super hungover. I was totally embarrassed because my parents witnessed this. I quit alcohol for the next 30 days but knew that I was not completely done with it,

[ 16:21 ] Did you ever put any rules in place to try and moderate your drinking?

Mona – for 2 years I tried to manage the amount of drinks I would have in 1 sitting. I set my limit at 4 and after that I would just leave the bar. I realized I had a problem when I was putting so much energy into trying to moderate.

[ 20:13 ] What was your bottom?

Mona – I did not really have a rock bottom. I remember my parents had paid for this great trip to the Grand Canyon and the entire trip I was trying to keep control of my alcohol intake in front of them. The Grand Canyon was so beautiful and it just showed how messy my life had become because of alcohol.

[ 21:57 ] How does it feel to be sober at 23 years old?

Mona – I feel proud but also overwhelmed at the thought of never drinking again.

[ 23:15 ] How did you do it?

Mona – I tried will power at first and I was also seeing a therapist who I was finally honest with. So far the temptation to drink has not been too bad. My holiday work party was slightly difficult and I left early. I also started telling my close friends that I had stopped drinking.

[ 26:30 ] What do you think would happen if you started drinking again?

Mona – nothing productive would happen. I would be totally stagnant in my life and in my job. I would not be happy at all.

[ 28:38 ] What is your plan moving forward?

Mona – I am experimenting with creating my own plan of recovery. I want to explore all of my options.

[ 32:52 ] What do you want to achieve in sobriety?

Mona – I would like to have deeper and more authentic relationships. I want to become connected to who I really am and to go after the jobs that I really want.

[ 35:07 ] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? After doing drugs and drinking, I had a horrible fight with a guy I was interested in. I ended up stumbling back to my apartment and just feeling totally empty.
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Seeing the Grand Canyon and comparing its' beauty to my "not beautiful" life
3. What's your plan moving forward? Creating my recovery plan
4. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Look for the similarities , not the differences
5. What is your best advice for the newcomer? If you are continually thinking about alcohol or listening to recovery podcasts, have the courage to try out sobriety
6. You might be an alcoholic if……you empty a bottle of perfume and fill it with alcohol in order to bring it on the airplane in your carry on

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Book of the Month – The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer

http://theinfluence.org/american-gulag-the-five-ways-hundreds-of-thousands-of-people-are-coerced-into-rehab-and-aa/

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Shaun, with 2 months since his last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

One of the most common questions we get asked as alcoholics is, "What do you drink now that you no longer drink alcohol?" Or, "How do I fit in at social functions now?" There are plenty of tasty non-alcoholic drinks to choose from, so when water is just not cutting it, check out the list below:

Shirley Temple (don't' forget to double up on the cherries!)

Ginger Beer (Cock N Bull brand)

Sugar Free Red Bull

La Croix (basically flavored soda water)

Soda water with a splash of cranberry

World Market is the place to go if you are looking for a large selection of ginger beer.

SHOW NOTES

[ 11:48 ] Paul Introduces Shaun

Shaun is 30 years old and currently living in Bozeman, MT. In his free time, he plays hockey, snowboards and coaches little league flag football

[ 13:13 ] Paul asks Shaun to describe his bottom

Shaun – I was drinking all day and through the night. I proceeded to drive home after fighting a friend for my keys. I drove down a very dangerous canyon and hit the guard rail with my car. The police eventually pulled me over. I woke up in the hospital and my father was there, looking very disappointed with me.

[ 18:00 ] When did you realize the gravity of your drinking situation?

Shaun – Even though I knew right away how bad it was, it still just seemed surreal. A few weeks went by before I realized this wasn't a dream. I went about 3 weeks without a drink. I started drinking again at my 30th birthday party and went on a 6 week bender. I then started to just slow down on my own. I was suffering from deep depression, had walked away from my job, and realized that I was not attaining the goals I had set out for myself.

[ 21:54 ] What do you think would happen if you started drinking again?

Shaun – I would be right back to where I was before. I really do not want to know.

[ 23:00 ] What were your drinking habits like? How much did you drink?

Shaun – I was your typical college drinker. When I started drinking, I was ready to party. My drinking escalated when I moved to Bozeman.

[ 25:47 ] What was your depression like while drinking?

Shaun – My depression was usually triggered by the hangovers. I would think to myself, "What could I have done instead of drinking?" I would feel worthless about myself the next day. Alcohol just kept the depression going. Without alcohol, mild depression is still there but overall I feel more even keel and it is easier to deal with.

[ 27:39 ] How about anxiety?

Shaun – My anxiety was also heavily triggered by booze. It is still with me now, but has lessened greatly. Normally after a night of drinking, I would feel totally anxious and would end up with the "screw it's," it's time to drink this away.

[ 29:00 ] How did you get sober?

Shaun – I just took it day by day. I would think that today may suck but tomorrow will be better. I told many of my friends that I had stopped drinking. Some of these friends understood, while others are still waiting for me to start drinking again (they are no longer friends). I also tried to keep focused on my goals and my profession. Alcohol does not fit within my goals anymore.

[ 32:00 ] What is your plan moving forward?

Shaun – I will continue to surround myself with positive peers, see my therapist, and basically build a new friend base that does not revolve around alcohol.

[ 34:00 ] What is it like getting sober at a young age?

Shaun – It is very hard. Beer seems to follow all activities but I am trying to make new sober friends. You have to work through the uncomfortable feelings of being in a situation and not drinking.

[ 39:35 ] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? After a birthday party, I punched my buddy in the head and he proceeded to throw me down the stairs.
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? When I would make jokes about being an alcohol and suddenly stop laughing because I knew it was me.
3. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Hitting the gym
4. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Just take it day to day. Win the fight for that day.
5. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Just start. Start talking to people about your problem.
6. You might be an alcoholic if……you make jokes about being an alcoholic but stop laughing because you know you are talking about yourself.

Resources:

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

If you are in the LA area on 1/22/17, Paul will be talking at a "This is My Brave" event. The event will be held at the Moss Theater in Santa Monica. Just google the event to search for tickets.

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Bubba, with 1 year since his last drink.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

SHOW NOTES

Cognitive dissonance = the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change. "First they ignore you, than they laugh at you, than they fight you, than you win." Sobriety is measured one day at a time and if we take it slowly, we will be the winner. Tell your addiction this quote, over and over again. Our minds keep telling us the tricky stories that keep us drinking. This is exhausting. It's like holding 2 conflicting beliefs. How can we break through these conflicting beliefs? Hang out with people that are on the same path as you. Educate yourself. Read, read, and read some more.

[ 8:51] Paul Introduces Bubba.

Bubba has been sober for 1 year and he's feeling great. He had been drinking so long that he did not realize just how much it was affecting his life until he quit. He enjoys photography, the outdoors and riding his Harley. He has also lost approximately 46 pounds during this past year.

[12:04] When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol?

Bubba – one of my earliest memories was when I came out as gay at the age of 29. I thought that I wouldn't drink as much since I no longer had that stress. I thought it would be the magic switch but I still continued to drink. About 4 years ago, I started to try and moderate. This did not work. For the next 2 years I was always telling myself that I could drink that night and stop the following day.

[14:14] What was your bottom?

Bubba – one day I starting drinking at 6am and just kept going. Instead of going to bed, I continued moving from bar to bar and did not make it to work. The next day I woke up and was officially done. My journey had started.

[16:35 ] What were some of the rules you tried to put in place in order to moderate your drinking?

Bubba – I'm not going to drink during the week and this will satisfy my desire to drink. My drinking voice had become so strong that it just over rode any common sense. My conscience mind knew I was doing something wrong, but my un-conscience mind wanted to continue drinking

[17:45 ] What were you feeling that day after your all night drinking bend?

Bubba – I was so hungover it was unbelievable. I had just had enough and couldn't take it anymore.

[20:00] How did you stay sober during that first month?

Bubba – I listened to RE podcasts back to back. That really kept me going that first week. I kept telling myself to try for another week, and then try again for another week. I had to keep convincing myself that I was not going to drink. I had friends wondering why I wasn't at the bar. These are no longer my friends. They were just my bar friends.

[21:56] How does it feel to be so open about being gay as well as open about being in recovery?

Bubba – feels fantastic!! Being so open helps me to be accountable. My friends and family all know what I am doing and it helps keep me sober. Defining myself as an alcoholic was surprising to some people since I was just known as a heavy drinker. I knew that I had a problem and that was the important thing.

[25:00 ] Describe your relationship with your grandmother

Bubba – I was self- medicating for the pain that my grandmother made me feel. She was able to make you feel horrible very easily. Constant little digs. I would try to avoid being with her which caused tension among family members. At some point you have to learn to just let it go.

[27:45 ] What are your recovery tools now?

Bubba – keeping myself busy, workout every day, spend quality time with my friends. I also utilize what other Café RE members are doing and saying.

[ 29:57 ] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? Waking up in my lazy boy covered in beer too many times
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Whenever I would wake up the next morning and say to myself, "Oh shit, I drank too much last night."
3. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Café RE, I'm trying to also integrate AA meetings into my life
4. What is your plan moving forward? Continue to do what I do, maybe more charity work, trying to be helpful to others, and just keep moving on
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? You are the only 1 who can force yourself not to drink everyday
6. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Stick with it, it does get better, things that you do not even know are wrong now will correct themselves
7. You might be an alcoholic if….. you slam 6 beers before you go to the bar because you do not want to have to wait once you get there.

"Spread your Wings and Fly – Focus on What You Can Do"

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Book of the month = The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Wynn, with 28 years of sobriety, shares his story...

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

SHOW NOTES

Tis the season to be jolly and sober…..

What are the differences between food cravings and alcohol cravings? Our gut sends signals that tell us to eat. We can only go 14 days without food and 80% of our serotonin is created in our gut. This feeling is very similar when we are craving a drink. The mind starts chirping and gives us false ideas of how good a drink would be. The problem is that when we start drinking, the need is never satiated with only 1 drink and thus the saga continues. The main things to keep in mind is that food keeps us alive. Alcohol is nothing more than a poison in its' basic form. Food also helps build muscle. Alcohol transforms your body into Barney from The Simpsons. We all needed food to survive from the beginning of our lives. Obviously we can survive without alcohol. Finally, food satiates our hunger cravings. Alcohol cravings are never satisfied until we are beaten to a pulp.

[ 6:20 ] Paul Introduces Wynn.

Wynn is a retired engineer. He has been married 3 times and has a total of 5 children. He currently lives a wonderful life in sobriety, although in his previous life he did many "unlawful" things in which he was never caught.

[ 9:15 ] When did you realize that you had a problem with alcohol?

Wynn – the first time I drank was at 12 years old and it just felt magical. I soon became known as wino Wynn. I came from a good family. Neither of my parents were alcoholics however, the disease was there with my aunts and uncles. Unfortunately my brother was also an alcoholic and his life ended too soon.

[ 14:22 ] Paul asks Wynn, "How do we know when alcohol is trying to convince us that we do not have a problem."

Wynn – you will know when the change happens. Recognize the pain and do not hide from it. Own your problems. Your HP is showing you what your pain points are.

[ 18:00 ] Wynn discusses an interesting visit with his psychiatrist.

Wynn – my psychiatrist was asking me what I thought was important. I told her that my car, my money, and my house were important to me. She asked if I knew exactly, down to the penny, how much money I had in my account. I could not tell her. She then asked me if I knew how much booze I had at my house. I was able to tell her the amount and type of alcohol, down to the drop, that I currently had in my home. I realized that there was nothing in my life that I kept track of, like I kept track of alcohol.

[ 19:00 ] When was your bottom?

Wynn – I was putting up a new house and borrowed money from some shady characters. I signed a life insurance policy as collateral and walked away with a paper bag full of money. I knew that that bag of money would be my coffin if I did not pay it back. If I drank that money away, I would be dead. Once the house was completed, I paid the money back and tore up the life insurance policy. I started to read The Big Book and found it incredible.

[ 24:00 ] What did you do then?

Wynn – Even though I was talking the talk of AA, I was not walking the walk. I had lost my house, my family and my companies. I was 3 years into AA when I finally got a sponsor.

[ 25:32 ] Paul discusses terminal uniqueness and how dangerous it can be.

Wynn – you have to be trustworthy enough to believe that your HP will take care of you. Everything that happens is exactly how it is supposed to happen. You have to pay attention. I soon realized that my problem with misery was really about myself. I had fear, control and domination issues. We cannot play God. God is willing to be anything we need him to be.

[33:23] Paul asks Wynn if he has every had a close call in 28 years.

Wynn – Yes, I was at the airport and had just been fired. There were no flights outbound and the clerk literally poured me a shot of whiskey. He was handing me my new ticket in 1 hand and the shot of whiskey in the other. I found myself reaching for both when suddenly I heard a voice that told me not to reach for the glass of whiskey. I grabbed the ticket and left.

[ 36:40 ] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? Jail
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Too many times I woke up in the hospital or jail.
3. What's your plan moving forward? Keep redoing the 10th step
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery? All of my sponsees' who stay sober and watch them carry on the message
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Stop digging and put down your shovel
6. You might be an alcoholic if? You know more about the quality and quantity of alcohol at home, than you do anything else.

[ 41:00 ] Paul ends the show with a shout out to Brandy – for hitting her 1 year of sobriety mark. He also shares a story about a recent airplane experience.

A flight from Orlando to Denver reinforces Paul's conviction to remain alcohol free. It is never fun to have to sit next to 2 drunks on a plane. Even worse is to be escorted from the plane by the police.

Resources:

recoveryelevator.com/survey

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have Melissa, with 1 month of sobriety.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

SHOW NOTES

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….

Many of us believe that we cannot quit drinking. "I am the life of the party, that's just who I am!" (I bet the crowd around us would beg to differ but that's besides' the point.) Life will not be fun if I do not drink. Yeah right- blackouts, hangovers, depression, and anxiety; now that is fun. Paul reviews the time in his life when he owned a bar in Spain. You heard correctly. Paul C = Bar Owner. Seems like an entire lifetime ago. Listed below are the pros and cons of that time period in Spain:

Pro's - I didn't die, it accelerated me towards my bottom, I learned to play some fancy Flamenco guitar chords

Con's – Ambien and booze are not a good combo, missed out on many opportunities/road trips with the senoritas, playing football after being awake for 30 hours straight (the next Peyton Manning? I think not), blackouts, blackouts, and more blackouts, DUI, re-introducing myself to a previous hookup (ouch!), contemplating a 5th floor sky dive

[ 8:38 ] Paul Introduces Melissa. How long have you been sober?

Melissa – 30 days. Melissa explains her background. She is a bartender, married, with 4 children. During her free time, she likes to go to the gym.

Paul asks Melissa what it is like being a bartender. Melissa has been in "The Industry" all of her life (Industry = restaurant, club or bar scene). She felt that bartending would be the way to go early on because of her love of drinking and it seemed fun. Melissa's family are serious drinkers so she grew up in that environment. She thought normal drinking was boring. Melissa states that when you are in "The Industry" you tend to share similar stories of drinking and it justifies your own behavior.

[ 13:54 ] What is it like bartending with 30 days of sobriety?

Melissa – It's been easier since I left Las Vegas and now live in Pennsylvania. The environment is also easier. I work in a fine dining establishment instead of a Las Vegas casino. I am used to going through shifts without drinking but would always drink after my shift ended. One of my go to drinks was a kids' cup filled with ice and straight vodka. Five minutes from home, I would down it.

[ 17:54 ] Staying sober is easy when drunk people are idiots

Paul and Melissa swap stories about working in the industry surrounded by drunk people. Do your local DJ a favor and do not request any more Michael Jackson songs!

[ 18:47 ] What was your bottom?

Melissa – I was attending a birthday party and had brought my 14 year old daughter and her friend. We were staying at a hotel so there were no limits. My daughter and her friend had to come get me from the bar downstairs. She video-taped me while feeding me chicken nuggets. I was a mess and my daughter thought it was hysterical. I didn't want her thinking that that situation was OK. Our family culture was turning into a dangerous life.

[ 23:55 ] Paul and Melissa discuss the tragic death of her sister

Melissa – she was drinking and driving and attempted to go around the car in front of her. Her car was hit. The accident caused her to break her neck. She was only 21 years old when she was killed. My sister's story, however, did not stop me from continuing to drink.

Paul – we have all had plenty of "You would have thought (…insert tragic event here…) moments that should have stopped us from drinking. Fear can get you sober but it cannot keep you sober.

Melissa reviews her history of trying AA and remaining alcohol free for 2 years. During that time she picked up a pill addiction. After 2 years she was drinking and taking pills. She weaned herself off of the pills and suffered heavy withdrawal systems. She did not think she was an alcoholic because she was able to stop while pregnant with all of her children. Once the children were born, however, the pressure of motherhood soon had her reaching for the wine bottle.

[ 32:48 ] How have you made it to 30 days?

Melissa – RE podcast, constantly reminding myself of my worst drunk moments and comradery with other recovering alcoholics.

[ 42:35 ] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? Celebrating my 36th birthday and waking up in the hospital not remembering a thing
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Too many CRS (can't remember shit) moments.
3. What's your plan moving forward? To find a local AA meeting and do the 12 steps. Time to locate those weeds and pull them out!
4. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Listening to the Big Book will driving and listening to various recovery podcasts
5. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Inside of every alcoholic's home are 2 doors with different paths. Behind door #1, there is a monkey who is going to kick your ass down a shorter path. Behind door #2, there is simply a longer path. It's time to choose door #2!
6. You might be an alcoholic if? You have company over and you are sneaking gulps of vodka in between your glasses of wine.

[ 41:00 ] Paul ends the show discussing 3 main themes

Man in the Mirror – drinking causes us to not want to see ourselves in the mirror. What often reflects back is shame and disgust

False Dreams – drinking brings about the notion of false dreams. The actions needed to make these dreams come true are taken away by booze

Geographical Changes – Paul sells his bar in Spain and moves back to the states, eventually ending up in beautiful Bozeman MT. Recovery is an opportunity to change the course of our lives. It's time to change everything in order to get there.

Resources:

recoveryelevator.com/survey

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today we have John with 17 years of sobriety and Adrianne with 11 years.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

This is their story...

SHOW NOTES

According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM), addiction is a brain disorder, not a behavioral problem. This is nothing new so why are we still talking about it? Probably because even though society is starting to finally believe that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing, the stigma attached to addicts remains the same. Wake up people! The studies have shown that addiction can be defined as a primary disease, not an emotional or psychological problem. Our brains become rewired and our choice to pick up flies right out the window when we are in active addiction. Our real choice happens when we reach out for help. It is never too early to reach out.

[ 8:27 ] Paul Introduces John and Adrianne, authors of The Painting and the Piano.

John, sober since 1/5/99 and Adrienne, sober since 7/11/05 currently live in Florida. For the past 3 years they have been working on their story of survival and love. Their book, The Painting and the Piano is like a divine intervention of how they first met and their lives together through the recovery process. John feels that they were chosen to get sober and to pass this on to others.

[ 17:00 ] What was your bottom?

Adrianne – my daughter had to go to the ER after an accident at school. I stopped home before going to the hospital in order to get my pills. I didn't know how long I would be at the hospital with her and was afraid I would be sick without my pills. My need for the drugs was more powerful than getting my injured child to the ER.

John – driving out of my driveway and seeing my 2 small children looking through the window at me. I knew I was leaving to get another drink and going to have a possible affair. I left anyway and that memory still haunts me of their faces. Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing an 80 year old man looking back was another bottom. I had 3 DWI's, was losing my business, my friends and was drinking around the clock without bothering to eat.

[ 20:11 ] Do you feel that you can skip any steps in the recovery process?

Adrianne – No, all of the steps you go through were meant to happen and lead you towards your bottom. This needs to happen.

John – Everyone's bottom is different and how we get there is also different.

[ 23:00 ] John talks about patience

Take time in your relationships. Advised to wait for 1 year before dating. Patience is super important. Let patience be your virtue. 12 steps should be looked at as an opportunity for personal growth

[ 26:53 ] What is on your bucket list for sobriety?

John and Adrianne – this book, educating others on the steps and the AA culture, doing more podcasts, and helping as many people recover as possible.

Adrianne – I would also love to work in the judicial system. There are so many children that are pulled from dysfunctional homes, only to be placed back in them too soon.

John – I believe that 95% of our issues go back to some type of childhood trauma.

So what happened to privileged Paul C who grew up in Vali Colorado? Hmmm, might have to think that one over a bit.

[ 30:00 ] Adrianne shares about her physical pain

I was born addicted to heroin. Later on after years of back pain, I became addicted to pills. All of the surgeries lead to harder addictions. It was a perfect storm of the emotional "F it's"

[ 34:14 ] What advice would you give your younger selves?

Adrianne – stay off the pity pot!

John – there is no shame in asking for help. Do it now. Change 1 thing every day.

[ 38:25 ] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? Adrianne – When I stopped home before going taking my daughter to the hospital in order to get my pills. John – the memory of my children's faces as I drove out of the driveway on my way to drink
2. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Adrianne – breaking down in front of my counselor and realizing I had a problem. John – drinking in the mornings just to stop the shakes
3. What's your plan moving forward? Adrianne – continue to be of service. John – reaching just 1 person, paying it forward.
4. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Adrianne – don't be afraid to ask for help. John – stick around for the miracle

Resources mentioned in this episode:

www.asam.org

recoveryelevator.com/survey

Sobriety Tracker

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected]

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Why do some go down the path of alcoholism faster than others? Why do the wheels come off at different times for all of us? Is it an 'addictive personality' disorder? Well, truth is, we can't find real scientific evidence to prove that an 'addictive personality' is a real thing. What we do know is that genetic makeup combined with environmental factors that someone is living with have huge factors in whether or not someone will become addicted to alcohol. For Paul, the wheels came off right around age 21, but there is no way to determine if and when someone will become addicted to alcohol. There are many envrionmental factors that can slow down or speed up this factor...

[ 7:25 ] Paul introduces Stephanie.

Stephanie has been sober for almost 5 years. She got sober December 31st, 2011. She is 33 and from Alabama. Stephanie works in a Bradford treatment center. She loves to run, kayak and hangout with her family.

[ 8:12 ] Do you have a pink cloud?

Stephanie tries to make her own 'pink cloud' every day in that she looks for the positive in everything. She is aware of the things she is grateful for and recognizes where she could be if she didn't have her sobriety.

[ 14:09 ] Stephanie talks about her drinking experience and the associated health problems that she dealt with.

[ 23:04 ] Stephanie's Mom and Dad took her to a treatment center on December 30th, 2011.

[ 24:39 ] Do you think you could've gotten sober without rehab?

"For me, I don't think I could. I had to be removed from my situation, completely removed. I had tried little things here and there, but I didn't know coping mechanisms. I know people can do it, but I just know that I couldn't have done it."

[ 25:35 ] Stephanie talk about her program.

Stephanie was able to relate to the AA program. She has had the same sponsor for almost 4 1/2 years. "It was necessary for me."

[ 26:41 ] Can you pinpoint one rock bottom moment?

"After totalling my car and trying to hide it..." Stephanie was making frequent trips to the liquor store to buys half pints of vodka. When she started drinking in the morning, she realized something had the change.

[ 33:04 ] Walk us through a day in the life of Stephanie.

"Usually I wake up and do a reading from the Hazeldon Foundation and I use an app called 'My Spiritual Toolkit. I also have a page saved on my phone which has a prayer for each step. Then I'll take some quiet time. I'm not very good at meditation." Stephanie takes time to herself in the mornings. She gets up early and tries to go for a run before heading into work. At work, she tries to take 3-4 minutes just to breath and calm down. At the end of the day, Stephanie takes time to reflect on her day, looking for the positive and places where she can do better tomorrow. "I try to get a lot of sleep. I need my 8 hours of sleep and my prayer and meditation time."

1. What was your worst memory from drinking? "Pancreatitis... That was pretty horrible."
2. What's your plan in sobriety moving forward? "To not stay stagnant. To change and grow and try to help others as much as possible."
3. What's your favorite resource in recovery? "The Big Book, My Spiritual Toolkit and that prayer page."
4. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? "Continue. Make a continuous effort to put one foot in front of the other."
5. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? "Do it. Seek treatment if you can. Ask for help and know that you don't have to be alone."

"...You are waking up drinking vodka a 6am and hiding bottles all throughout your room!"

Hazeldon Foundation Digital Resources

My Spiritual Toolkit

Podcast Resource Info - 'Addiction now defined as brain disorder, not behavior issue'

"We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up. WE can do this!"