Recovery Elevator

Today we have Laura. She is 40 years old from Reno, NV and she had her last drink on August 1st, 2017.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

Tomorrow April 1st, registration opens for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more.

[02:58] Thoughts from Paul:

On this life journey, what we think is fun or important to us is constantly changing. You have identified that serenity, happiness and peace have become much more important to you than the excitement of drinking. After all, drinking lifts us up for a short while but always lets us down in the end.

Peace is knowing we are living our healthiest life and knowing that whatever happens, we're going to be just fine because we're not making life harder than it needs to be by drinking.

We are aiming to place our bodies and minds in a state where they are properly nourished so then we can be present to fully enjoy and be thankful when the emotion of happiness arrives. We are choosing peace over the brevity of a buzz. We are choosing life.

[05:51] Paul introduces Laura:

Laura is married, and lives in Reno, Nevada. She is currently transitioning out of working in nonprofit communications to going full time with her own business. She enjoys all things outdoors, lifting weights, and making funny Tik-Toks.

The minute Laura started drinking she felt like it was the elixir to confidence and connection. Throughout college and into her 20s, she didn't think much about her drinking because she was drinking like everyone else around her. Leaving college, Laura didn't really know what she wanted to do with her life. Looking back now, she recognizes how much drinking disconnects you from yourself.

Laura moved to Lake Tahoe and became a snowboard bum. This is where her drinking progressed. Little red flags started to pop up, but she would disregard them and treat her drinking like it was an intentional choice.

In her late twenties, Laura got a DUI. This drove her to recognize that she needed to quit drinking and was able to for a few months. She thought after that, she had it under control only to end up right back where she was soon after.

Laura began to try and moderate and take breaks. When she realized it was hard to quit for two weeks, she knew she had a problem. After a blackout, Laura decided it was time to give sobriety a try. Quitting drinking felt scary, but it felt scarier to continue down the path she was on. She didn't know anyone that was sober but once she listened to people's stories on the RE podcast, she had hope.

After 7 months of working on her recovery by herself, she relapsed at a memorial for a friend. Recognizing that she was on the right path in sobriety, she went right back to it. She started going to AA and found a sponsor. Laura admits it was a lot of work, but she was ready for it. She shares that she had a lot of epiphanies during the first six to nine months.

Laura picked up a lot of healthy practices in recovery which helped her rediscover herself and build confidence. She says no tequila shot could ever compare to the feeling of being able to trust yourself, respect yourself and have authentic connections with other people.

In her new business, Laura is a backpacking guide. She organizes adventure retreats for sober women. Your Sober Pal

Laura's favorite resources: Recovery Elevator podcast, 12 Step Program and online recovery communities.

Laura's parting piece of guidance: it might e a lot of work up front, but it's going to take you places you couldn't even imaging and you're going to amaze yourself along the way.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down. You have got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

Café RE

RE on Instagram

RE merch

Recovery Elevator YouTube

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Niko. He is 43 years old from San Juan, Puerto Rico and took his last drink on September 2nd, 2024.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

Café RE

Next week registration opens for our flagship retreat in Bozeman which is always a lot of fun. In addition to our lake hangout, breathwork and recovery workshops, we're also playing laser tag. We also have a few spots left for our alcohol-free trip this October to Peru which includes travel to Cusco, the Sacred Valley and of course, Machu Picchu.

If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. With 24/7 access to a like-minded community committed to living alcohol-free, you'll never feel alone on this journey.

[03:25] Thoughts from Paul:

Jackass alumni Stevo-O once said he didn't experience alcoholism until he quit drinking. In 1958 alcoholism was first classified as a disease. How does one experience this disease after they stop drinking?

Paul shares his thinking that "if you want to find out why you drink, quit drinking and you'll find out pretty quickly". And another thought "it's not an alcohol problem; it's a sobriety problem". When you are addicted to alcohol, withdrawals are a huge problem. But another issues presents itself when we are sober and no longer using alcohol to cope or cheat code for dopamine. Our eyes are wide open to the movie of our lives and there is no way to shut it off.

This is why people in recovery attend social circles where people can talk about the baseline state of the human mind, which is restless, irritable and discontent. When we come together, we have a better chance to heal.

[07:25] Paul introduces Niko:

Niko lives in San Juan, Puerto Rico and is the youngest of three siblings. He enjoys beach tennis, swimming and volleyball, which was something he played a lot in school.

Niko first tried alcohol when he was around 12. By age 14, he had his first blackout. For years Niko never questioned his drinking because he figured if he could tolerate it and wasn't doing stupid or embarrassing things, he was fine.

Niko was recruited to play volleyball in a college in Pennsylvania. His drinking interfered with his grades, but he never questioned his drinking until recently. Drinking is very embedded in his culture and says it isn't abnormal for teenagers to be drinking at the table with adults.

In his 30s, Niko says he added cocaine to his drinking, and this continued until last year. Niko knew he had an issue with it, but it wasn't until his girlfriend presented an ultimatum that it was the drugs or her. He was able to quit cocaine and started therapy where he proclaimed he still had to be able to drink. After a few weeks, he talked with a friend that had recently quit drinking who encouraged him to give it a try.

The first week without alcohol was pretty tough for Niko but he says things turned around in the second week as he entered the pink cloud and started thinking he should keep going.

Niko has dabbled in AA and SMART Recovery. He sees his therapist once a week and also attends group therapy with up to 8 other people. Without alcohol Niko is getting to know himself again and his therapist helps a lot with that. She introduced him to the RE podcast which he says he has listened to a lot while going to the gym and walking the dog. He has lost 45 pounds since quitting drinking and is starting to do more of the sports he loved when he was younger. Since he has been getting to know himself, he is finding the ability to be more present for others as well.

Niko's parting piece of guidance: if you think you have a problem or maybe you don't think you have a problem, just give yourself a try. You won't regret it.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down, but you gotta take the stairs back up.

I love you guys.

RE merch

Recovery Elevator YouTube

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Alyssa. She is 30 years old from Vancouver, WA and took her last drink on September 5th, 2024.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

Sober Link –

Next Monday, our five-week course called Ditching the Booze. This is our alcohol-free 101 crash course and is included with Café RE membership. All sessions are live and you're tuning in with others who are in the same spot as you. The sessions are also recorded in case you can't attend.

On Tuesday, April 1st, registration opens for our flagship retreat in Bozeman which is always a lot of fun. In addition to our lake hangout, breathwork and recovery workshops, we're also playing laser tag.

[03:20] Thoughts from Paul:

Today Paul talks about why alcohol can be so hard to quit, why the process of quitting can take years and can contain many stops and starts.

Addiction guru Gabor Mate says, "addictions are always a human response to pain, suffering and trauma". We are constantly in search of homeostasis. When we find something effective at helping us find this relief, it becomes our first technique to use when we are in pain. After drinking long enough, you'll get to the point where you only feel good, or dopamine will only be created when we are drinking.

It takes time after quitting drinking for our body to naturally create dopamine on its own. You will need to learn new routines, create new habits and figure out a way to fill the time that used to be spent drinking. Paul shares with us several other reasons quitting drinking is hard.

Why do you think quitting drinking is so hard?

Comment on RE's Instagram page. There's a post for today's episode.

[09:02] Paul introduces Alyssa:

Alyssa lives in Vancouver, WA with her fiancé and two Rotskis. She currently works as a server and in her free time she enjoys reading and traveling with her fiancé. They are currently trying to determine where they are going to move to be closer to family.

Alyssa says she had an early introduction to alcohol but never really considered it an issue until she met her fiancé who doesn't drink. For years, everyone around her drank so she didn't notice her own drinking.

Alyssa's drinking increased slowly but became daily during the pandemic. In 2021 she read Easy Way to Quit Drinking by Allen Carr and was able to stop for a few months.

For Alyssa, her drinking began to create an inner turmoil, and it started to erode her confidence because she was making promises to herself and then breaking them by drinking instead of accomplishing her goals. After quitting for a period of time, Alyssa thought that she would be able to moderate. In time, she says, she was right back where she was.

After moving in with her father while they save up to find their own place, Alyssa says the lack of goals and uncertainty of the future found her drinking more to cope. She was no longer active and was losing self-esteem while anxiety and depression took hold. At the bottom of her heart, Alyssa knew that eliminating alcohol would help fix the way she was feeling.

Alyssa chose a quit date and started seeking sober podcasts and books to prepare, including This Naked Mind. It was after a night out with friends that Alyssa told her fiancé that she didn't want to drink anymore. He was very supportive of her decision and offered to help however he could.

Alyssa continued to read This Naked Mind and participated in a 30-day sober challenge. This paired with the liberation she felt from her decision led to a pink cloud experience for Alyssa. Anxiety and depression started to lift quickly. Going forward, she is trying to figure out what she wants to do in the future, and she believes in sobriety the options are endless.

Alyssa's parting piece of guidance: Just listen to that little voice. Give sobriety as many chances as you gave alcohol.

Recovery Elevator

Rule 22: lighten up - let's do our best not to take ourselves too seriously.

I love you guys.

RE merch

Recovery Elevator YouTube

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Lisa. She is from Brisbane, Australia and took her last drink on February 24th, 2022.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. With 24/7 access to a like-minded community committed to living alcohol-free, you'll never feel alone on this journey.

[02:35] Thoughts from Paul:

Healing from alcohol addiction is more about restoring the original circuitry we arrived on the planet with, opposed to learning anything new. You already have everything you need to quit drinking. There is nothing wrong with you, we simply need to remove the layers of muck, grime, false stories and incorrect paradigms that we have accumulated over the years of living in a toxic culture.

As you clean up your inner mess, you're also laying the foundation for others to begin their healing process. When you heal, others around you heal.

[07:27] Paul introduces Lisa:

Lisa is 45 years old and lives in Brisbane, Australia. She runs a residential rehab for women. For fun, Lisa enjoys CrossFit and the community that comes with it. She has a 21-year-old son.

Lisa first tried alcohol when she was 17. It was an issue from the first time she picked it up. Once she got the feeling in her system, she just kept going. This continued until she was pregnant with her son who was born when she was 24 years old.

When her son was 13 months old, Lisa became a single mom and wanted to find herself again as he started to get older. With her mom helping her with her son, she was able to start going out to meet people and says the only way she knew how to do that was with alcohol involved. Lisa says she thought to be sociable, you had to drink.

There were times when Lisa was able to abstain for extended periods while focusing on her son and fitness, but she always went back to it. She found herself using drinks as a reward to get through the weekdays and then would binge drink on the weekends. This cost her multiple jobs in the fitness and nutrition world. Lisa found herself blaming everything but herself or her drinking.

Lisa had been working on getting sober for quite a while but had always been trying to do it for other people or jobs. A few years before her sobriety date, she had a revelation that she had to quit drinking for herself. She was able to go 500 days from that point and says she wasn't doing the work suggested to her and ended up drinking again.

At this point she was adding other substances to her drinking. A weekend camping trip in November 2021 ended badly for Lisa and after her partner picked her up, she shared that she didn't want to live anymore. The fact that she felt that way scared her.

When her son questioned her about going to rehab, Lisa told her she couldn't because she had so many other obligations. The drinking continued and she would start going to lengths to try and conceal it. After a weekend away with her son, she found herself on a balcony consumed with suicidal thoughts. It was then that she called a rehab to try and get help. Within a few days, she travelled 8 hours south to start rehab.

Lisa says her connection to herself is now authentic. She no longer looks to others or external things to make her happy. Lisa feels free and can now be grateful for her addiction because of where it has led her. She knows she has to put herself and her recovery first which was hard in the beginning. And now after three years, she still makes sure to attend meetings and do what needs to be done to stay sober every day.

Lisa's parting piece of guidance: just put it down one day at a time. And if it takes one minute at a time, one hour at a time, whatever it is that you need to do to get off the booze, there is a better life out there for you.

Recovery Elevator

Go big because eventually we'll all go home.

I love you guys.

RE merch

Recovery Elevator YouTube

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Charlie. She is 32 years old from London, UK. She took her last drink on December 28th, 2024.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

In October of this year, we are going to Peru! There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. Registration closes June 2nd which is the deadline for Inca trail tickets.

[02:50] Thoughts from Paul:

According to NCS solutions, who poll people about their drinking, the number of people who want to cut back on their drinking increases every year.

In 2025, 36% more people participated in Dry January than in 2024. A good reason why the numbers are increasing is reflected in a poem Paul shares called Memories of Alcohol by an unknown author.

So much of the work we do is reframing how we view alcohol. Subconsciously it is still deeply ingrained in our culture that drinking enhances our lives, but we have all learned that it doesn't. Once the voice in our head starts telling us that a drink would be nice or we deserve a drink we can start giving it some tough love and tell it that no, a drink would not be nice and please give me some better ideas.

[05:09] Paul introduces Charlie:

Charlie is a software engineer from London and will be getting married in April. For fun, Charlie has rediscovered that she enjoys skiing, running and swimming.

Growing up, Charlie witnessed both parents struggle with divorce and use of alcohol and medications. She started drinking when she was around 14. Charlie says everyone around her drank and seemed to be having a good time, so she joined in without thinking twice.

Around her mid-twenties, Charlie started to have a subtle undercurrent of doubt in her mind and a quiet voice suggesting that maybe she wasn't the best version of herself anymore. Since she never had what others would consider a problem, she didn't think her drinking was an issue.

Charlie began to find things weren't going wrong for her, but they weren't necessarily going right either. She felt stagnated. In an effort to try and make changes to this she removed alcohol from time to time and began to connect the dots between her stagnation and the alcohol use.

Charlies says she tried moderation, but it was exhausting. Her all-or-nothing mentality made it difficult. She also shares that she has had multiple stints of around 100 days without alcohol because she learned that was a good amount of time to feel many of the positive effects of quitting.

This time feels different for Charlie because she has leaned into the sobriety community a bit more. She has been listening to podcasts and reading books and learned that the key to maintaining sobriety is to find community. Since there are more people around her encouraging her and sharing insights, Charlie feels this time is indefinite as opposed to the other times when she had a finish line of sorts.

Charlies says since quitting drinking her positivity has returned and she is feeling like the younger version of herself now. She shares that it's amazing how much you can fit into a day when half of it isn't taken up by drinking or recovering from it.

Charlie's parting piece of guidance: if you've never quit drinking before, what's that worst that can happen?

Recovery Elevator

It all starts from the inside out.

I love you guys.

We can do this.

Café RE

RE merch

Recovery Elevator YouTube

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Robbie. He is 43 and lives in Moses Lake, WA. He took his last drink on August 15th, 2024

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

3,649 days ago, or 1 day shy of ten years, the first episode of the Recovery Elevator podcast dropped. Paul remembers the date well because for three months after the first episode released, he kept thinking "oh my God, what have I done?". Burning the ships in podcast format gave Paul a lot of anxiety, but here we are, 523 weeks later and thank you listeners, for keeping the show alive.

30 Best Sobriety Podcasts

[04:13] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares the definition and his thoughts around the term gray area drinking. The definition states that it is the space between end-stage drinking and every now and again drinking. Gray area drinking could also be classified as someone who can stop drinking without medical detox or can stop on their own before someone stages an intervention.

Paul believes it's all gray area drinking. Be it one beer a month or 10 beers a night. One common thread he hears on this podcast is "and then xyz happened". It's these major life events that can ramp up the drinking and everyone has life happen to them.

[07:10] Paul introduces Robbie:

Robbie is 43 years old and lives in Moses Lake, WA. He currently works at a chemical plant in the semiconductor industry. He has five children in the age range of eight months to 14. They enjoy spending time outdoors and at the lake near their home. Robbie is a big sports fan and played sports often while growing up.

Robbie took his first drink when he was in college in his 20s. He didn't drink much until he lost his dad in 2013. Without knowing how to process his grief and having young children, Robbie learned that drinking helped him be numb and he started drinking four or five days a week. At the time, Robbie was working as a corrections officer, which was a very stressful job that contributed to his drinking as well.

In 2018 Robbie's marriage ended. This was the first time he had been away from his children. He moved two hours away from them to stay at his mom's house. After his second DUI in two weeks, the judge imposed alcohol monitoring for Robbie. This helped him stay sober for a year but only because he had to be.

Thinking he could now moderate, Robbie started drinking soon after no longer having the monitoring device. He says he wasn't having a good time, and he was just using it to numb out from multiple traumas.

In February 2024 Robbie reached a breaking point and reach out to his brother-in-law who helped him find a treatment center in Utah. Robbie was there for 35 days and felt like he had made a lot of progress. He learned a lot about himself and started doing counseling. Robbie finally got some help dealing with some big traumas throughout his life. He says he feels like he used alcohol to punish himself thinking he deserved to be miserable.

After a brief relapse, Robbie says he woke up on August 15th and just knew it was over, and he had to stop drinking for good. He decided to try naltrexone which he first learned about in rehab. He took it for the first month and says he still has no desire to drink. Robbie goes to AA meetings, listens to podcasts and audiobooks, and is a member of Café RE. Robbie stays accountable with his family and friends at work. People have noticed a positive change in him.

In the past Robbie quit drinking because he was forced to, or for other people. He said on August 15th; he was doing it for himself. He says sobriety is the greatest gift to himself and his kids.

Robbie's parting piece of guidance: If you're asking yourself if you drink too much or if it's becoming a problem, it already is. Listen to your gut. Believe in yourself that you can quit.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

Café RE

RE merch

Recovery Elevator YouTube

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Jeremy. He is 43 years old and lives in Portland, Maine. He took his last drink on January 23rd, 2019.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

Recovery Elevator is going back to Peru in October 2025. On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration has been open for two weeks and we have about five or six spots left.

[01:40] Thoughts from Paul:

About three weeks ago, we had a gentleman named Nate share his story for one of our dry January sessions. He mentioned that just before he quit drinking, his spouse poured out a bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey onto their lawn. The whiskey killed a circular patch of grass, making it an area where conditions were no longer suitable for growth, and Nate eventually had to replace the entire section of grass.

Today's episode is titled "Would a Drink Help?". This phrase is often depicted in movies, TV, and other media after a long day or stressful event. For those of us who find it difficult to have just one, a drink will never help. It's not the fifth or the 10th drink that gets you into trouble, it's always the first. Because it leads you to have the fifth or 10th drink which will leave a dead ring of grass inside us.

Unlike grass, our brains and bodies can heal from the poison. So, in answer to the question of "would a drink help?" the answer is always no, and it will always leave you in a worse position. We wouldn't ask this question about any other substance either.

It takes time before the neurons in the brain that a drink can help stop firing together so go easy on yourself.

[07:11] Paul introduces Jeremy:

Jeremy is 43, married with no kids and works in tech consulting. They have an English bulldog and for fun, Jeremy enjoys snowboarding, hiking, and music. He is also a house music DJ and plays multiple instruments.

Jeremy first began to recognize that his drinking was an issue for him in his twenties. He began drinking in his teens and used alcohol to help him escape feelings around an assault that happened when he was 15. Since Jeremy didn't participate in team sports in school, he spent time with people that did other things like drink and do drugs.

After taking a six-month break from drinking when he was 22, Jeremy thought he was fine since he was able to quit for a period of time. He moved to Boston, made some friends there and began grad school. He shares that his drinking didn't look out of control but as he approached his 30s, he realized that his friends were starting to slow down, have families and he was still wanting to spend time in bars. Over time his drinking was creating issues with his wife, and he was starting to feel unhappy both when he was drinking and when he was not. Things looked ok on the outside, but inside they were breaking down. The blackouts were becoming a major issue for him, and he couldn't see a way out.

In 2018, Jeremy and his wife had a fight and that's when he broke down and told her he was struggling. He started reading books about quitting but was still struggling after a few weeks. A note from his wife was a catalyst to seek help from therapy and he discovered SMART Recovery. He kept going back and made connections with others in the meetings.

Jeremy shares how there are so many ways to get sober now and that you don't have to hit rock bottom to quit drinking. He says you have to get over the fear and just focus on the day in front of you. Since quitting drinking Jeremy says he has learned that he doesn't need alcohol to feel comfortable anymore. He is comfortable with who he is now and with therapy has helped learn to love himself and forgive himself for the past.

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

Café RE

RE merch

Recovery Elevator YouTube

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Dave. He is 69 years old from Beaver Creek, CO. He took his last drink in September 17th, 2024.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

Sober Link - receive $50 off of a device

If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. Come join the party!

Tonight begins our first ever AF Songwriting Course starting at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.

[02:40] Thoughts from Paul:

Paul shares an article from the San Francisco Chronicle regarding the tanking sales of red wine in San Francisco restaurants. All alcohol sales were down but mocktail sales were up.

Many people share that it's tough to quit drinking where they live. Paul discovered a statistic from the CDC that says where he lives in Gallatin County, Montana is listed as the drunkest of all 3,244 counties in America.

In the state of Montana, they place a white cross on the road where traffic fatalities occur in hopes of reminding drivers to take caution and slow down. 66% of these white crosses are alcohol related.

There is no judgement towards those that are still binge drinking. At Recovery Elevator, we are not better than anyone, we have just chosen a different path. If you feel called to walk this pathway with us, we'd love to have you.

[10:01] Paul introduces Dave:

Dave lives in Beaver Creek, CO with his dog Tango. He is very active in the AA community in his area and cherishes the connections he has made there. He enjoys skiing, biking, and traveling. He has three kids and recently became a grandfather. Dave is currently seeking his master's degree in clinical counseling.

Alcohol was present in Dave's life growing up as his parents drank socially. He drank socially as well throughout high school and college. He drinking didn't become problematic until later. Dave shares that his alcohol use disorder stemmed from his chronic childhood emotional trauma. Alcohol later became the solution to dealing with unwanted emotions.

In 2016 after raising his kids independently and a relationship had ended, Dave started to use drinking to deal with some voids in his life. He had a successful commercial real estate business but didn't have many local friends at the time.

Dave went to rehab in 2017 after having two DUIs in December of 2016. He was able to stay sober until 2021 and says again it was emotional overwhelm that sparked more field research. He found help in a psychologist who was a clinical director of a rehab facility. He was able to get sober again in July of 2021.

A reunion in September of 2024 found Dave having beers with friends thinking he would just have a few and would be fine. Dave had more the next day and realized that if he didn't clear the rest of the alcohol out at the end of the day, he would continue to drink. Dave credits his tools and connection in AA to being able to get sober once again.

Dave is huge on connection. Both connections with people and connections with a higher power. He enjoys going to meetings and being of service to others in the community. Dave says one of the greatest gifts of sobriety for him is giving up control of outcomes. He chooses to deal with emotional overwhelm is awareness and since he no longer has alcohol in his system it is easier for him to be aware of what is happening. Dave is a big believer in journaling because of the connection from the hand to the head. When he puts his feelings on paper, he can see rational versus irrational thoughts.

Dave's parting piece of guidance: stay with your feelings, journal about them.

Dave is looking for internship that involves 200 hours of direct engagement of one-on-one counseling with or without supervision. If you can help, reach out to [email protected].

Recovery Elevator

You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.

You can do this.

Café RE

RE merch

Recovery Elevator YouTube

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Kathy. She is 57 years old from Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on October 21st, 2024.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

Registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens today, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we're doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.

[02:43] Thoughts from Paul:

At the end of last week's episode, I discussed how certain chapters in our lives might be closing, particularly those involving drinking and all the associated antics. As Yung Pueblo poetically expressed, endings are a natural part of life. The universe thrives on cycles, where every beginning anticipates an eventual end. Embrace this closure, grieve it, if necessary, write a farewell letter and consign it to the flames if it helps. But remember, alongside the end of the partying comes the end of hangovers, bloating, puffy eyes, heartburn, and a myriad of other unpleasant side effects.

Let yourself mourn the end of this chapter. For me, the cessation of drinking heralded a new beginning in September 2014. Let's explore what awaits after setting the bottle aside—a life free from elevated liver enzymes.

Five months ago, I asked our Instagram followers to describe sobriety in three words. The prevailing themes were peace, energy, and presence. I can't predict your future, but I can assure you that whatever it holds, you'll face it with more vitality, tranquility, and mindfulness. This journey is far from solitary, as more Americans are reducing their alcohol intake.

So, as one party ends, another begins, brimming with the promise of a healthier, more vibrant life.

[06:09] Paul introduces Kathy:

Kathy is 57 years old, is divorced and lives in Phoenix, AZ with her husky mix named Mario. She works in big data analytics. For fun, Kathy enjoys walking her dog, hiking, riding a mountain bike, kayak and read. She enjoys memoirs, thrillers and enjoys Quit Lit.

Kathy says her drinking was in the moderate category for many years. In her forties she became part of a friend group that enjoyed drinking and spending time on the lake together. Kathy was comfortable letting her hair down and didn't have any fears of becoming an alcoholic.

Kathy did begin to question her drinking after it started noticeably affecting her sleep and how she felt the next day. She explored some Quit Lit and since her drinking didn't look like the author's, Kathy decided it wasn't bad enough to stop completely but would try to cut back a bit and skip days here and there.

When Kathy was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer, the doctors put her on pills she couldn't drink with. It was a relief to her to have to stop, but was surprised how little support others would have for her not drinking. After her oncologist told her she could drink a little, she started drinking again. A constant cycle of ramping up and ramping down began.

After some issues with her white blood count, Kathy had to quit for three weeks awaiting a blood test. She decided to join Café RE for support to quit drinking. Kathy really identifies with gray area drinking and has found stories from other people helpful in continuing her pursuit of quitting drinking. She prefers her life without alcohol and hopes to continue. She says her sleep has improved and she looks forward to lifting weight again, traveling and being cancer-free.

Kathy's parting piece of guidance: if you're questioning it, just start talking to sober people, join Café RE, seek out more podcasts, whatever.

Recovery Elevator

Alcohol is shit and we both know it.

I love you guys.

Café RE

RE merch

Recovery Elevator YouTube

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Today we have Nick. He is 41 and lives in Richfield, MN. He took his last drink on November 8th, 2023.

In one week, registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we're doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.

Sponsors for this episode include:

Better Help – 10% off of your first month

[03:19] Thoughts from Paul:

Imagine if aliens were cruising the universe and made a stop on planet Earth and they saw human beings drinking a substance that appeared to be damaging their lives.

But first, this is revealing of the power of the unconscious mind, or the paradigms in our society. If you take crack, cocaine, heroin and meth and right off the bat it's like, yeah, that will fuck your life up. But with alcohol, which has the data to show it's the most dangerous drug on the planet, it's flipped. Thankfully the correct messaging is starting to come out, but we have a way to go still.

Paul shares what he imagines would be the conversation between aliens and humans as they begin to ask questions about why we humans are consuming a toxic substance that has no health benefits and leaves them incapacitated the next morning.

[08:24] Paul introduces Nick:

Nick is married with three young children. He says he is a pop culture aficionado. He enjoys hunting, fishing, camping and spending time at their cabin a few hours away. Nick is big into fitness as well.

Being around alcohol was a normal thing for Nick growing up. He drank some in high school but hit the ground running in college with all the typical vices. He says he never had any major consequences and did well in school. The "work hard, play hard" mentality ran strong even after college.

Nick met his wife on a flight and soon after they began a long-distance relationship. Around this time Nick says his drinking was causing some negative behavior and people were noticing. A comment from his dad had Nick feeling some embarrassment so he started trying to moderate his drinking by limiting his consumption while socializing but drinking more at home alone.

After attempting to moderate with the use of an app, Nick found himself drinking more in secret. He and his wife would have conversations about it, but he wasn't ready to quit. Nick was hiding bottles of alcohol throughout the house and drinking daily and going out less, so it wasn't as obvious to others that he had an issue. It was a constant battle in his mind.

One afternoon, Nick drove with his wife to pick up their daughter from preschool. When he came out of the school, his wife had taken the driver's seat. He had driven to the school drunk, and she decided enough was enough. She took them to the police station and had him arrested. When he came by the house the next day he expected her to kick him out but instead she hugged him and shared she just wanted him to get better.

Nick was able to stay sober for three months, but wasn't doing it for himself so it didn't stick. His drinking ended up worse than ever after that until he finally hit rock bottom. He wasn't doing well physically or mentally at this point. He woke one morning and decided to go to treatment that week.

Nick threw himself into treatment and experimented with several modalities. In the past he was resistant to AA but now embraces it as an abundant resource and enjoys the community. Nick's health has greatly improved, and he has been able to get off of all medications in addition to ditching the booze. Fitness is his medicine now, Nick says.

Nick's parting piece of guidance: You can do it. Do it for yourself, don't do it for someone else.

Recovery Elevator

Alcohol is shit and we both know it.

I love you guys.

Café RE

RE merch

Recovery Elevator YouTube

Sobriety Tracker iTunes