Open Instagram, Ruin Your Night?

We love to hate social media. But it’s also a singular tool for staying in touch, getting the word out on things we care about, and even learning a thing or two. We talk about our early days on the socials and how we use it now. Sober tools can help – just like with a drink, before opening that app, maybe ask yourself why you want to log on and play the tape through on where it might lead.

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It’s the question many ask when getting sober: What am I going to do on New Year’s Eve if I’m not drinking? The answer is anything you want! No need to have FOMO – New Year’s Eve is a night for amateurs. And nothing beats waking up on New Year’s Day without a hangover. We take the opportunity to catch up on sleep. And we don’t make resolutions. Why make a declaration that we’re going to change on a certain day when we can just commit to new behavior anytime.

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Following the murders of Rob and Michele Reiner, their son, Nick, has been charged with their killings. Media reports focused on Nick’s long history of substance abuse, oversimplifying what is clearly a more complex situation. Anna interviewed Nick a decade ago with his mother sitting alongside him and while the original interview is no longer online, we are releasing it as part of this episode. We’re highly aware of what a sensitive and tragic topic this is and want to be entirely clear that we don’t have any firsthand knowledge of the exact sequence of events that led to this horrific situation. What we have is first-hand experience with the people involved and our own experience with addiction and recovery.

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We all have them. And guilty pleasures in sobriety are even more fun when we’re able to enjoy them fully, without the blur of alcohol. Anna is on a steady drip of sugar all day long (Dr. Pat Allen told her she was a “non practicing bulimic”). Other guilty pleasures include Love is Blind, Instagram/Threads, the podcast My Therapist Ghosted Me, Hunter Harris and Joel Stein’s Substacks and regular massages. Lisa’s guilty pleasures include anything true crime, everything Dexter, and podcasts about ghost stories. 

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We talk about how music enhances our sobriety and what our playlists look like. We also talk about sober concerts we’ve loved. Live shows are a revelation, not just because we remember everything, but because we are present in the moment. To Anna, listening to Taylor Swift is the closest she’s come to feeling high (watching The Eras tour movie made her understand why people do ayahuasca). Lisa talks about the Rolling Stones and Grateful Dead shows. 

For all you Swifties, dig into Swift Steps. 

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Some people love sober anniversaries, some people dread them, and some people don’t keep up with them at all. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. We talk about what counting days and keeping time looks like for us. Anna never misses an opportunity to celebrate herself, from her first soberversary (a karaoke party in West LA!) to her upcoming 25th (a full on 90s party with food trucks and costumes). For Lisa, it’s changed multiple times over 21 years.

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Our friend Stefanie Wilder Taylor, author of SIPPY CUPS ARE NOT FOR CHARDONNAY and DRUNKISH, and host of the Drunkish podcast,  joins us to talk about being publicly outed as a sober person and what the backlash was like. Stefanie was barely sober when she was thrust into the spotlight as a sobriety expert. We talk about owning our own stories and what anonymity is and isn’t.

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The official kickoff of the holiday season, Turkey Day, can be tricky. Especially the first one.  Family, friends, food, and often a lot of booze. What could go wrong? Lisa ended up flat on her back beneath a green bean casserole. Anna spent her first sober Thanksgiving freezing to death in a motorhome in a San Diego parking lot. (True!)

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Just because we’re sober doesn’t mean we don’t still want to have fun wherever we hang out. But being comfortable in bars and clubs isn’t automatic. Lisa took a pass for a long time and only goes on rare occasions. Anna spent her first year sober as Premiere magazine’s “Party Girl,” which involved going out every night among the shiniest of people and the most open of bars. Amazingly, the experience only enhanced her commitment to sobriety more.

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Legend has it that drugs and alcohol have spawned some great works of art, including books. But evidence shows that numbing ourselves out actually stifles creativity. Anna and Lisa talk about what it was like to first feel that spark and flow of an idea without the booze. Anna was terrified that just sitting in front of the computer was going to trigger cravings and was shocked to discover that writing was actually a million times easier sober than high. Lisa felt it straight out of the detox unit.

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