In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m a woman in my early thirties and I don’t get wet either during masturbation or sex (but I do have orgasms easily). It has always been like that. I’ve tried lubes, creams, dietary supplements, even hormones, but nothing's changed. I’ve talked to different doctors and everything is fine medically with me. I didn’t talk to my boyfriend about my problem at the start because I feel so terribly ashamed about it. Instead, I secretly put some lube on and in my vagina before we had sex. I didn’t want him to feel that I am always dry — I was scared he would take it personally or think I’m not normal. More than a year later, I’m still doing this. If I think we’re going to have sex, I tell him I need to go to the toilet or invent other excuse so I can apply some lube. It’s very stressful! I don't want to hide this secret anymore but I feel trapped. Should I confess what I’ve been doing, every single time we've had sex? I think that he’d be completely okay with it, but I don’t want to stop using lube because I don’t want to be touched when I am dry. It doesn’t make me feel feminine at all and I AM worried what he will think…

2) We’ve been married for 12 years and both of us are bored stupid with our sex life. My wife is keen for us to act out our sexual fantasies to shake things up, but I’m worried this might backfire. She’s enthusiastic after a few drinks and wants to try everything; but, the next day, stone-cold sober, gets cold feet. Is there a way to get our kicks without her waking up regretful or it causing real problems between us?

3) I’ve been with my partner for 20 years and we’re really happy. Or at least I thought we were. About two months ago, we were both talking about things we wish we’d done in our lives and things we regret; and, out of the blue, my partner confessed he’d had a brief affair with one of my friends 10 years ago. It was very strange – it was almost like he was boasting about it. that I should be impressed that my friend hit on him. It’s thrown me completely and I am questioning everything. I’m not friends with the woman anymore but how do I live with this? 

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

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