In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m a recovering alcoholic and up until 49, had never had sex sober. I’m now in a relationship (been together three years) and overall, we are both happy. The problem is we are very different types when it comes to sex. He is adventurous, I’m not (since I’ve been sober). He’s talked before about how good sex was with his ex-partners (they did anal play and more). I now dread having sex because I think he is bored. I was open to role-play but after several attempts (which I thought went well), it seems to have died a quick death. I don’t mind giving him a BJ, but he says I don’t get it right. Last night, we were chatting about life’s ups and downs, and I asked him if I disappointed him and he reluctantly said, yes, in bed. I don’t want us to split up over this as I can’t see life without him, but I don’t know how to handle it anymore.

2) My partner uses Viagra to make his erections stronger and I’m keen to try it. I’ve read some online stories of women who claim it makes sex feel better—as in they felt like it more. Is it safe, and what should I expect if I do try it?

3) I’m a 33-year-old straight woman and in a new relationship. I’m loving this guy out of bed, but not in it. There’s nothing wrong with his lovemaking skills, but he is obsessed with my orgasms. When he’s giving me oral sex or using his fingers on me, he spends the whole time asking if he’s doing it right and whether I’m going to come yet. Needless to say, I often don’t with all this interruption. When I don’t orgasm (I gave up faking years ago), he gets paranoid. Questions me about what he did wrong and how can he make sure he gets it right next time. I suppose in one sense I should be pleased he cares, but it doesn’t feel like this is about my pleasure, more his ego. How can I get him to stop?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

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