Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

Why is this episode important on a show about toxic relationships? Because your doctor--and other healers--need to be empathetic, aware, interested, listening, and compassionate. Some are wonderful. Others, not so much. You need to find one that cares about all of you, not just the numbers, graphs, and medications.

In your toxic relationship, have you ever been seriously ill or injured? What kind of care did you get at home? That's a big moment, isn't it, when you realize that the toxic person can't be bothered with you, or take you seriously? How does your doctor behave?

Dr. Hassan Tetteh had early personal experiences with trauma, and the impact on him directed his life's work. A Near Death Experience changed so much for him. Dedicated to The Art of Human Care™ (also the name of his book), Dr. Tetteh helps you see what to look for in a doctor, too.

In a toxic relationships--past or present, there is often trauma from emotional abuse. You NEED your doctor to see, know, and believe what is happening to you. Emotional abuse takes a toll on your body as I discussed with Dr. Elizabeth Hughes in episode 189. Dr. Tetteh explains why you need to truly feel cared for when you need medical attention.

Although he offers his acronym, L.E.A.R.N, for healers, it's a very good approach for all of us in our relationships. Enjoy this...even if it sounds a little off our usual topics. It's valuable!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• How an earlier life experiences change Dr. Tetteh's understanding of care
• Why it often seems that doctors are more interested in time than patients
• Hear his Human Care Theory
• What's up with toxic people's response when you're ill
• Why you need to find an empathetic, compassionate doctor

OK, so I hope you now recognize why I invited Dr. Tetteh to Save Your Sanity. Don't be re-wounded by a doctor who doesn't really see or hear you. Your doctor needs to be a safe place to go, whether that is your medical doctor, alternative healthy professional, or therapist.

Be good to yourself.

Rhoberta

GUEST: HASSAN TETTEH, MD

Dr. Hassan A. Tetteh is a US Navy Captain and Associate Professor of Surgery at the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences and adjunct faculty at Howard University College of Medicine. He was a Robert Wood Johnson Health Policy Fellow from 2012-13, assigned to the US Congress, Congressional Budget Office, (CBO). Currently, Tetteh is a Thoracic Surgeon for MedStar Health and Walter Reed National Military Medical Center. He leads a Specialized Thoracic Adapted Recovery (STAR) Team, in Washington, DC, and his research in thoracic transplantation aims to expand heart and lung recovery and save lives.

A native of Brooklyn, New York, Tetteh received his BS from State University of New York (SUNY) at Plattsburgh, his MD from SUNY Downstate Medical Center, his MPA from Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, MBA from Johns Hopkins University Carey Business School, and MS in National Security Strategy with a concentration in Artificial Intelligence from the National War College. He completed his thoracic surgery fellowship at the University of Minnesota and advanced cardiac surgery fellowship at Harvard Medical School’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston.

Tetteh is founder and principal of Tetteh Consulting Group, creator of The Art of Human CareTM book series, and a best-selling author of several books including Gifts of the Heart, Star Patrol, and The Art of Human Care. Tetteh is board certified in thoracic surgery, general surgery, clinical informatics, and healthcare management, and is a Fellow of the American College of Surgeons and Fellow of the American College of Healthcare Executives.

Tetteh received the Alley Sheridan Award by the Thoracic Surgery Foundation for Research and Education, was named a TEDMED Front Line Scholar, and is TEDx speaker. He’s an alumnus of the Harvard Medical School Writers’ Workshop and Yale Writers' Conference and lives near Washington, D.C. with his wife, son, and daughter.

FREE GIFT FROM DR. TETTEH,

Free Chapter from Success Strategies: LIFESAVING SUCCESS STRATEGY: THE ART OF HUMAN CARE

http://hassantetteh.successstrategiesthebook.com/#book

CONTACT INFO FOR DR. HASSAN TETTEH :

Website: DoctorTetteh.com

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/hassanatetteh

Facebook: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theartofhumancare

Twitter: https://twitter.com/doctortetteh?lang=en

YouTube: 

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#drhassantetteh #doctorsandempathy #increasingempathy #theartofhumancare #compassionatedoctor #empatheticdoctor #chooseanempatheticdoctor #doctorinterestedinpatient #compassion #empathy #personaldevelopment

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempowered

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You may not even know you picked up all this from narcissistic family dynamics in your life. When you hear these things, you may find the key to unlocking relationship difficulties you've had in your adult life. Definitely worth listening to!

We take SO much in as young children, even before we have any language skills at all! We come to know if we're wanted, loved, appreciated, welcomed, and heard before we ever understand a word anyone says to us. That impacts our whole life...unless we recognize what slipped under our radar in our first seven years of life!

If there was a parent or other authority figure in your family who had narcissistic tendencies, you'll be recognizing these thing I talk about. It's all you knew then, but now you know more. You can do things differently!

Don't be hard on yourself! You couldn't possibly know what your early environment was putting in your mind, and how it was establishing your sense of who you were within you. That's why it's important to think about these things today.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• How what happens to you in your first seven years of life can impact your adult life
• 7 patterns of behavior a narcissistic family--with even just one narcissistic person--will demonstrate
• Why it's important to look into your early home life for things that could be negatively impacting your life now
• Why I think that telling your child to stop crying or "I'll give you something to cry about" is narcissistic
• How having a narcissistic parent affects your ability to ask for what you need and want in life
• How recognizing these early patterns can help you make better decisions today that make you happier

Information and insights into what happened in your emotional self early in life can shift your perception of yourself. You recognize what was done TO you, and can see more clearly to make healthier choices now in your adult life and relationships.

I'm always here to help.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#unhealthyrelationships #unhealthyemotional #narcissisticfamily #triangulation #indirectcommunication #unclearboundaries #youcanthaveyourfeelings #parentnotinterested #unavailableparents #selfcenteredparents #selfabsorbedparents #dontrepeatthepatterns #seethepatterns

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Understanding the many faces of gaslighting helps you see it coming. Then, seeing it for what it is, you can discount it, reject and deny it. In this episode, I help you see ten faces of gaslighting that can help you recognize it for what it is: emotional abuse. 

The actual definition of gaslighting I like from www.urbandictionary.com is:

"an increasing frequency of systematically withholding factual information from, and/or providing false information to, the victim - having the gradual effect of making them anxious, confused, and less able to trust their own memory and perception"

It has so many faces, some that you might not immediately think of as gaslighting...until now.

I often think of gaslighting as times when someone wants to define your reality for you, rather than trusting you and your senses. It's nasty, as well as sneaky. It's definite intention is to undermine your confidence in yourself in every way. Too often, it's a successful ploy!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Why gaslighting is a huge issue in eroding self-confidence
• 10 ways gaslighting shows up and how to recognize them
• Examples of gaslighting
• Why it is essential to recognize the different ways a #Hijackal will attempt to gaslight you
• Hopefully, by the time you hear all ten, you'll say "No More!"

A person who thinks they can tell you what you think, feel, need, want, prefer, or remember is a person to watch out for. Beware, though, because they wear you down, you may have a tendency to believe them. Don't! They are using and abusing you, and you deserve to be treated with respect, care, love, and honesty.

Here's the link to my video I mentioned: Healthy Responses to Gaslighting While you on my YouTube channel, subscribe at hit the notification bell so you'll know when there is a new video.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#gaslighting #underminingselfconfidence #erodingselfconfidence #makingmewrong #questionmysanity #secondguessmyself #whydoesmypartner #canitrustmypartner #iknowyoubetterthanyouknowyourself #notrust #crazymakingbehavior #trustinrelationship

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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You may think that you're experiencing the natural wear and tear on your health. But, if you're in a toxic relationship, it is making things so much worse! Learn about the most likely ways your body and its immune system can respond to toxic relationships with narcissistic people, or antisocial people. Talk about wear and tear!!!

Two things that cause physical health issues (among many) start with emotional abuse: stress and isolation. Both of those are present in most relationships with Hijackals, right? Constant stress and the pressure to not talk about difficulties with others outside the relationship. Very common. In this episode, I share some research findings from Dr. Gabor Mate that relate to this where he said,

"The very same brain centers that interpret and feel physical pain also become activates during experiences of emotional rejection."

Sound familiar? This can be terribly enhanced if, perchance, you had a narcissistic mother--a Hijackal mother--and then went on to be in a relationship with another Hijackal. It takes such a toll on you!

Dr. Hughes has a wonderfully refreshing approach to medicine as she tempers Western medicine with Eastern thought and practices. Enjoy her insights!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What is the "rodent brain" and how it affects us
• What happens in your body when it is on alert too long due to the stress of a toxic relationship
• What causes "fuzzy brain"
• How stress affects the body from production of different hormones
• How trauma--old or current--affects the body, emotional trauma, physical trauma, sexual trauma, abandonment
• How the immune system distinguishes what is toxic and what is safe
• How this all relates to relationships with difficult people, toxic people, narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, borderlines

I hope you find connections within yourself to what in your relationships might be causing health issues. Often, until you realize that, you can have physical symptoms that seemingly cannot be explained. This episode might help with that.

Be good to yourself.

Rhoberta

GUEST: ELIZABETH HUGHES, MD

Dr. Hughes is a dermatologist and former faculty member at Stanford University, where she taught dozens of physicians, including many nationally-recognized leaders in the field of dermatology.

Nearly twenty years after graduating from medical school, Dr. Hughes witnessed the rapid resolution of a patient’s chronic illness without any medical intervention. This event caused Dr. Hughes to question everything she had been taught about health and illness, and to look for better answers for “incurable” conditions.

Her quest lead her to investigate ancient spiritual traditions, non-western systems of health and healing, placebo research, and the emerging sciences of epigenetics and psychoneuroimmunology. In the process, she became a registered yoga teacher, a certified health coach, and a practitioner of several energy medicine modalities.

Dr. Hughes has developed a revolutionary approach to health based on establishing trust in the human body. Dr. Hughes believes that once each person has cultivated a deep and abiding trust in the power of the human body, our experience of health and illness will change for the better forever.

FREE GIFT FROM ELIZABETH:

The Stress Antidote Guide

TheStressAntidote.com

CONTACT INFO FOR ELIZABETH HUGHES:

Website: ElizabethHughesMD.com

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: @ElizabethHughesMD

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elizabethhughesmd

Instagram: @

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/jEHughesMD

YouTube: 

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr, Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community----------------------------------------------------------------------

#drelizabethhughes #stressandthebody #stresshormones #toxicrelationshipsandhealth #abuseandhealth #stressandtheimmunesystem #overactivestressresponse #psychoneuroimmunology #drgabormate #regaininghealthafteratoxicrelationship #canmyrelationshipruinmyhealth #nextstepsinhealth

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempowered

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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You want to believe that a Hijackal--a toxic, difficult, perhaps narcissistic person--love you. You SO want to believe it. They don't have much love to give and here's 16 ways to recognize that they aren't giving it to you. An eye-opener! 

People who love you listen to you. They want to listen to you. And, you want to listen to them. You're interested in each other. Not so with a #Hijackal. The Hijackal is interested in themselves and want you to be interested in them, too. Sure, in the beginning, it's different. That's how they hook you as I spoke about in the last episode, How Hijackals Hook You Into Toxic Relationships.

You know from listening to the episode on the 3 MUST-HAVES in a Healthy Adult Relationship that equality is a must. Do you believe you have that in your relationship with a Hijackal? I'll be not. You may want to bring up a couple of instances when there seemed to be equality, but that's part of the problem. There's supposed to be equality all the time. There's an example of the love that's missing in a toxic relationship: love.

Everything is transactional with a toxic person, a person with narcissistic tendencies, and those with anti-social tendencies as well. They don't really have love to give you, but they will appear to to have you give them what they want: a transaction. I know, it's not great to hear that straightforwardly, but it's absolutely important to recognize it.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• The transactional nature of toxic relationships
• 16 ways that love relationships differ from toxic relationships
• Why you must not continue to believe that you are loved and make excuses for poor behavior
• My definition of emotional abuse, and why you are best to keep it in mind
• Clear ways to recognize real love to compare and contrast with what a Hijackal offers you

You SO want to believe that a Hijackal loves you, I know. Sometimes, it really seems that they do, but only when it serves their purposes and gets them what they want. Sad, and unfortunately, true. Hard to hear, but time to recognize it.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#doesheloveme #doessheloveme #loveshouldnthurt #thereisnoabuseinlove #equalityinrelationship #reciprocityinrelationship #mutualityinrelationship # #beassertive #personalweatherreport #narcissistsdontlove #cannarcissistslove #trustinrelationship

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

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Hijackals create toxic relationships, and it's important to see the patterns, traits, cycles, and behaviors clearly. That's not easy, but it is necessary. 

If you've been with a Hijackal or other toxic person for long, you may feel as though you suffer from brain fog. You can't think straight and you're too exhausted to do so anyway. Gain perspective about your situation and best next steps to consider in this episode.

Hijackals are those relentlessly difficult, toxic people who seem so perfect for you in the beginning, and eventually fade into mean, thoughtless, self-centered ones later in the relationship. That later can be two days after you marry or move in, or even fade slowly over a couple of years. But, fade it will. Then, what do you do.

By the time you've been with a Hijackal for awhile, you may be exhausted from the constant put-downs, from being torn down and worn down. Hijackal count on that. You have to find your legs and stand up for yourself in very specific, non-confrontational ways.

One of those ways is my Personal Weather Report. In the episode, I mentioned some videos I've made on it on my YouTube channel. While you're watching these, be sure to subscribe and click the Bell so that you'll know each time I add a video. Here are ones that relate to the Personal Weather Report:

https://youtu.be/qD1pNMujj0k

https://youtu.be/mFCZohqaFMM

https://youtu.be/0p-K2vKfRhA

You will also find all the details of how to give and receive a Personal Weather Report in my book, Kaizen for Couples.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• How a Hijackal hooks you
• Why Hijackals are in a rush to "get" you
• Knowing how to recognize the Hijackal patterns, traits, cycles, and behaviors
• The essential step of stopping enabling the Hijackal to behave badly
• My definition of assertiveness and why it's effective
• Practicing the PWR

Being with a Hijackal in a supposedly romantic relationship can be huge disappointment on many levels. Get unhooked as soon as you can from their manipulations, and reclaim yourself now.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#hookedonhope #stopenabling #gettingoutofatoxicrelationship #amiinatoxicrelationship #seetoxicpeopleclearly #emotionallyhooked #stopcaringwhatatoxicpersonthinks #findyourvoice #beassertive #personalweatherreport

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You hope, hope, hope that a narcissistic person will change. You buy into their promises to change. And, you cross your fingers!

Change occurs for a hot minute...or even a warm week, right? And, then, nothing. What's up with that?

People with narcissistic tendencies, or those diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, have a hard time listening and caring about changes you would like to see. You know that already.

So, will #Hijackals ever change?

Can narcissists ever change?

Do they want to change?

What reason would they need to actually care?

Are they able to sustain changes...or interested in doin so?

I'm delighted to have Dr. Laura Dabney as my return guest to discuss this very important issue that can drive you crazy. You want to believe they'll change, I know. Don't miss this episode.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• The differences between a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and having narcissistic tendencies
• Can you ever love a narcissistic person into loving you well?
• How to tell the differences between being loved and being used
• Can the core issues within a narcissistic person change?
• How best to indicate to a narcissistic person that there is a need for change
• Why narcissistic people cannot create emotional intimacy

GUEST: LAURA DABNEY, MD

Laura Dabney, MD has made a career of taking on psychiatry’s toughest challenges from treating complex, combined medical and psychological conditions, to ensuring the absolute privacy of powerful, high-profile patients. Dr. Dabney has, for decades, helped her patients change their lives for the better. And they recognize her for it. Dr. Dabney’s patients come for many reasons: depression and anxiety, recent break-ups or a lifetime of toxic relationships. Yet, despite the problems that brought them through her door, they describe her in the same terms again and again, calling her warm, knowledgeable, and committed to their success.

GIFT FOR YOU: 

CONNECT WITH DR. LAURA DABNEY:

WEBSITE: https://drldabney.com

PODCAST: 

FACEBOOK:  https://www.facebook.com/LauraDabneycom/

YOUTUBE:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgTW_U6Zl8X41n1mOXYM3UQ

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/lauradabneycom/

LINKEDIN:  https://www.linkedin.com/company/dr--laura-dabney-md

TWITTER: https://twitter.com/drldabney

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

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I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community  

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#drlauradabney #cannarissistschange #canhijackalschange #whydontnarcissistslisten #shouldistaywithanarcissist #psychiatristtalkingaboutnarcissism #donarcissistscare #doesmynarcissistcareaboutme

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The small, subtle, often sneaky words, actions, and gestures that are small or brief slights, insults, insinuations, or put downs used to marginalize you are microaggressions.

These behaviors are frequent and painful. But, they are small and they catch you off guard, wondering if you should speak up. Or, would it be making a mountain out of a molehill? Is that familiar?

Hand in hand with microaggressions are microinvalidations: small and frequent ways that you are discounted, dismissed, or denied. When a Hijackal or other toxic person denies that you know what you think, feel, need, want, or even have seen, it can be a microinvalidation. This episode helps you see the small papercuts that are intended to make you emotionally exhausted and bleeding to death. Nasty!

To do something about them, though, you have to recognize them when they are happening. Then, using my PWR response as I outline, you have a way to counteract the effect of these microaggressions on you. (The PWR strategy is from my book, Kaizen for Couples, available from Amazon in print or ebook.)

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Recognizing microaggressions
• What a Hijackal or other toxic person tries to do by using these microaggressions
• Why you are caught off guard by them and unsure of a response
• Clarity that these microaggressions used in toxic relationships are emotional abuse!
• Recognizing and responding to Microinvalidations
• Using the PWR (Personal Weather Report) to reclaim your space

Empower yourself by catching these subtle, sneaky, nasty ways of putting you down, and using the PWR to respond. You'll feel better...although, don't expect the Hijackal to!

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

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I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

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#microaggressions #microinvalidations #pwrresponse #personalweatherreport #recognizingmicroaggressions #respondingtomicroaggressions #respondingtomicroinvalidations #speakingupinthefaceofverbalabuse

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever wondered how you could possibly find forgiveness for a seemingly unforgivable act? Like being raped, beaten, and left for dead? Today's guest, Lois Wagner, found it, and she shares that journey with you today.

Toxic relationships include many kinds of abuse: verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical, sexual, financial, and spiritual abuse. Moving beyond the toxic relationships is the first step on the healing journey, with so much more to follow.

In her book, Walking Without Skin: A Journey of Healing From Fear to Forgiveness to Freedom, she writes:

As I walked out of that grey, sad, bad building, I didn’t notice the barbed wire, the electrified fencing, or the armed, bulletproof-vested security guards. I didn’t see the orange-overalled prisoners or hear their raucous laughter. I didn’t notice the wild Spring flowers incongruously surrounding the grey prison buildings. I didn’t see the grazing sheep and cattle, the blue cranes at the dam, or the backdrop of the magnificent snow-capped mountain.

When I left that prison, I flew out of that place free from those physical and emotional walls and boundaries to a newfound freedom.

Lois has used her experiences to craft invaluable programs and formulas to help young men and boys to see positive pathways in life, and to create attitudes and values that will serve them well.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Finding the pathway to forgive the unforgivable
• Healing the pain of betrayal
• How toxic masculinity is created, and perpetuated
• How to bring up boys to be positive adults (p.s. It works for all of us, at any age!)
• B.R.A.V.E. = Boundaries. Respect. Agreement. Values and Vulnerability. Equality, Empathy, and Empowerment.

GUEST: LOIS WAGNER

As a survivor of a violent attack and rape, our speaker today has moved from victim through survivor to thriver and beyond to freedom. Lois uses her experience to fight toxic masculinity and to help eradicate gender-based violence.

She shares events and lessons from her own story moving her through fear into forgiveness to freedom and into the light.

Lower your guard and find how to be BRAVE in a relationship and in the fight against domestic violence as we welcome Lois as she takes you on a journey of bravery.

GIFT FOR YOU: Forgiveness Checklist https://www.walkingwithoutskin.com/forgiveness-checklist

CONNECT WITH LOIS WAGNER:

WEBSITE: https://www.walkingwithoutskin.com

PODCAST: 

FACEBOOK: http://m.facebook.com/walkingwithoutskin

YOUTUBE:  https://www.youtube.com/loiswagnercoachingconversationsforchange

INSTAGRAM: 

LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lois_wagner_

TWITTER: https://www.twitter.com/loiswag

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Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#walkingwithoutskin #loiswagner #toxicmasculinity #findingforgiveness #forgivemyrapist #leftfordead #violentrape

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sneaky stuff this emotional brainwashing! It often starts slowly and seems understandable. But, it continues and tips you over into second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity, right? And, down the slippery slope! Listen in to uncover what may be happening--or has happened--to you. Great start!

What's actual brainwashing?

Cambridge Dictionary:

"the process of making someone believe something by repeatedly telling them its true and preventing any other information from reaching them.

Hijackals and other toxic people certainly engage in emotional brainwashing. That's my term for repeatedly gaslighting you by stating that they know you better than you know yourself and they are right about what you think, feel, need, want, remember, and prefer. They continue that process by degrading, belittling, intimidating, manipulating, and lying in an attempt to make you believe that you are much less than you are.

Does this sound familiar? It may have started only occasionally: making snide remarks about you, perhaps in front of others, in the hopes that they could embarrass or humiliate you and you would be unlikely to speak up. Nasty! Then, it escalates...and often, accelerates. You need to have a name for it. I call it "emotional brainwashing."

See it to say no to it, otherwise, it will not stop.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• How emotional brainwashing shows up
• The phases of a toxic relationship and where the emotional brainwashing begins
• Recognizing that you cannot please a #Hijackal
• My story that can help you see why you may be denying the emotional brainwashing
• Remembering that it is not your fault, and what to think instead

You did not set out to be trauma-bonded. It's nothing that you did. You were set up for it earlier in life, either by being healthy and happy and never imagining this could be the case, or by having been in traumatic relationships earlier in your life. It's not your fault.

Now, that this is all clear to you, you're better equipped to make progress towards a happier, healthier life.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#traumabonding #traumabonds #emotionalbrainwashing #gaslighting #gaslightingisabuse

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.