Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

Fawning can be thought of as a step further than people-pleasing. SO, you really need to know about it. Until you become conscious of it, you may be doing it. To get your life back, and to be emerging empowered, you want to recognize it, take charge of it, and garner new insights and skills.

When you have suffered from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder--which many people who have been abused in many ways do, you may recognize that you actually respond to conflict with The Fawning Response. This term was created by therapist and abuse survivor Pete Walker in his book "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. It's a coping mechanisem, a poor one, used in an attempt to create safety in our relationships with others to garner their approval and meet their expectations. As I said, it's not a good one. It's unhealthy and damaging to yourself. Hence, self-abandonment!

You give and give and give in toxic relationships and it's never enough, right? Hijackals always want more. Even if they tell you exactly what they want from you, when you give that exact thing to them, they want something different. Overtime, over-giving becomes a habit, and so does fawning. It's exhausting.

One thing people who have experienced trauma don't want? More trauma. The fawning response is an attempt to prevent more trauma. IT DOESN'T WORK, but you're ever hopeful it will keep you out of the spotlight and out of hot water.

Listen in and recognize The Fawning Response in action. If it sounds familiar, take it to heart and choose to make a change. You may think it's keeping you safe, but it actually is not. You're losing yourself, and that's not a good thing at all!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What The Fawning Response is
• How it shows up
• Why it shows up and becomes a habit
• Seven ways you abandon yourself when you choose the fawning response
• Why its important to see the fawning response and give it up

If you recognize that the Fawning Response is something you want to address, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#FAWNINGRESPONSE #fightflightfreezefawn #madepeoplefeelcomfortable #putyourselflast #otherpeoplemoreimportant #makingmyselfinvisible #pleasingothers #fawningtraumaresponse #codependence #enabling #emotionalabuserecovery

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It is essential to recognize when you are abandoning yourself. You may think it's part of being a good person. It's a delicate balance, for sure.

How do you re-establish that balance if you have become an enabler, or are codependent? Listening to this episode is a very good start!

At the extreme, you abandon yourself when you totally accommodate another person's needs and wants even when those needs, wants--and, even demands--are outrageous! Most people don't go that far, and yet they abandon themselves.

Understanding what it is to be enabling another, or codependent on another, highlights ways in which you abandon yourself. Believe me, it's not worth it! And, you may think there will be a payoff for doing it somewhere down the yellow brick road. No! No! Because people take advantage of enablers and co-dependents, and walk on them. Sad, but true!

Have you ever given up your dreams, hopes, interests, and aspirations in order for someone to be interested in you, like you, or hopefully love you? That's a big sign of self-abandonment. And, only one of about twenty I share with you in this episode. Some are subtle and only you know they are happening within you. Others are more obvious and public. No, you don't want those, either!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• My practical definitions of self-abandonment, enabling, and codependence
• So many ways to recognize how you may be abandoning yourself in many circumstances
• How self-abandonment is part and parcel of enabling and codependence...and why
• Four key strategies for overcoming self-abandonment
• How to create emotional balance so that you can create more balanced relationships with my BIG three!

Do you recognize ways in which you've been abandoning yourself? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#abandonyourself #abandoningyourself #codependence #enabling #beinganenabler #losingyourselfinaguy #losingyourselfinagirl #givingtoomuch #endingperfectionism #emotionalabuserecovery

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse. that you need to consider even if you don't want to and just want to go get the love, fun, attention, and validation you've been missing. What if you skip them? It could be a disaster.

You may be anxious to date, or you may be scared spitless! Or, sometimes ready and sometimes sure you'll never be! That's how uncertain you can feel once a Hijackal is in your rear view mirror. Does it sound familiar?

Even if you're still with a Hijackal, you may be wondering about life beyond that relationship. Listen in to understand the best things to consider before you hit the dating scene. Maybe, you have a friend who's newly single. Invite her or him to listen in because most divorces are fraught will many of the same issues leaving Hijackals present.

Yes, you might be wishing I was going to say, "Leap! Enjoy! Have fun!" I want that for you, however, not until you're well-prepared. You want to be successful, to see and avoid all red flags, right? That means being wise, slowing down, and thinking about a few things first. Yep! Sorry. It takes time.

You might hope that dating will be a distraction.. Actually, it is more likely to be a disaster if you haven't attended to the 8 Essential Factors in the broadcast. You could even find yourself hooked to another Hijackal! Oops!

Recovery itself takes a lot of things Far more than these 8 Factors. That's why I call them the ESSENTIAL ones. These are the MUST-DO ones that you are wise to have spent time with in your plan BEFORE DATING! Please listen.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Be emotionally prepared for dating
• Follow the 8 Essential Factors for Recovery After Emotional Abuse...at a minimum!
• Why you don't want to use dating as a distraction from the pain of emotional abuse
• Why you are not wise to jump into dating to feel better about yourself
• A great analogy about wounds and scars to keep in mind

Are you wanting help to heal in the most direct way after the emotional abuse of a toxic relationship? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#datingafteremotionalabuse #datingafteranarcissist #amireadytodate #howdoiknowimreadytodateafteranarcissist #healingafteranarcissist #emotionalabuserecovery

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For many women--and men, too, restoring a feeling of safety to enjoy sexual intimacy seems a long way off. Anna-Thea share invaluable insights for regaining that sense of safety.

Trust, too, can be a big issue. In fact, letting a new person into your life at all can cause concern. That's natural. You are wise to take care of yourself. Today's insights in this episode can help so much!

You want to attract a healthier partner this time, I know. It's SO important that you feel safe to establish sexual intimacy, and that means establishing emotional intimacy first! Sure, sex can be exciting just for it's own sake. It's not usually a good way to begin a relationship, though, if you're hoping for a long0term relationship.

Yes, I know, there is often a feeling of pressure to be intimate in many early relationships. Resist the urge to have sex until you actually feel emotionally safe with someone! Does that seem do-able and/or wise?

Today, Anna-Thea and I talk about why we have to redefine love in order to see healthier pathways to create and experience it. You can have great sex with someone and never be able to talk about your feelings, for instance. Is that a good thing for you? Not likely if you're hoping to have a healthy relationship with a partner in life!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Why we have to redefine love
• What makes the Feminine special and Sacred
• How attracting a healthy person requires being healthy yourself
• Why your body is not a "negotiation"
• Where the meeting place between safety and vulnerability is

Do you need help to make the shift to consider a new relationship after leaving an emotionally abusive one? We can talk.

warm regards,

Rhoberta

GUEST: ANNA-THEA

Anna-Thea educates women to connect to the power and sacredness of their feminine side - certified from the Divine Feminine Institute as a Divine Feminine Educator and Spiritual Sexual Educator. Graduating with honors with a bachelor’s degree in Nutrition, she also holds a double certification in yoga and taught yoga for many years. She now focuses her attention on Divine Feminine Education.

Her book “Empower Yourself by Loving Your Body” offers powerful insights for women.

FREE GIFT FROM ANNA-THEA:

Enjoy Anna-Thea's Love Quiz here: https://annathea.org/love-test

CONTACT ANNA-THEA

Website: https://annathea.org

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anna-thea-fabricius-4b16bb7

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/annatheafab

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/divinefeminine.educator

Twitter: https://twitter.com/theannathea

YouTube:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again. When you like my pages, or subscribe to my YouTube channel and hit the notification bell, you'll hear about each Monday's livestream where you can join in and ask questions, too.

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Emerging Empowered Community Circle

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#reclaimingyourbodyafterabuse #intimacyafteremotionalabuse #intimacyafterphysical abuse #intimacyaftersexualabuse #comfortablewithsex #comfortablewithyourbody #recoveringtoenjoysexafterabuse #recoveringafterabuse #annathea #empoweryourselfbylovingyourbody

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempowered

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You likely give people the benefit of the doubt, or are willing to go the extra mile for them. That's healthy and usually reciprocal. Great!

BUT, when you're with someone with narcissistic behaviors, it's not healthy or reciprocal. It's unhealthy and one-sided.

Most people immediately think of a particular set of traits when they think of narcissism in general: the blustery, look-at-me, superior, grandiose example. And, yes, that is definitely one of the types. Sometimes harder to detect--or harder to believe exist--are the other three contrasting types. Some are sneaky. Some play on your heartstrings. Some simply don't care! Knowing about these four types can expand the way you look at a troublesome, difficult, or toxic set of traits and realize what's likely going on. That's a big help!

How will it help? When you clearly see the patterns, traits, cycles and behaviors of another person, you can make healthy decisions for yourself as to whether you would like to stay in the relationship. Should I stay or should I leave? You need to know what the possibilities for change are, right?

So often, new clients come with that exact question, "Stay or go?" There's so much to calibrate and they want guidance, information, and direction to make those healthier decisions. And, what if there are children to consider? A huge consideration!!!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• 4 different types of narcissists
• Distinguishing features of each type of narcissistic behavior
• Why it's important to talk about narcissistic behavior or narcissistic tendencies rather than a diagnosis
• How two types of narcissistic behavior can have degrees of severity
• Can people with narcissistic leanings change?

Wondering about your relationship as it relates to narcissism? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community Includes two monthly group Ask Her Anything calls, too!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#typesofnarcissists #narcissistictypes #grandiosenarcissist #vulnerablenarcissist #communalnarcissist #malignantnarcissist #thedarktriad #narcissistictraits

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You hear the same demeaning, dismissive things from narcissistic Hijackals all the time. It wears you down and they put your down. You need tools and strategies to neutralize the poison when it's being poured on you. This episode gives you specific insights into keeping yourself safer.

#Hijackals are always looking for a way, a place, an opening to exert power over you. I'm thinking that you're nodding your head in agreement as you read that, right? Hijackals will go to any lengths to be right, to win, to make you wrong, and make everything your fault. It's the Hijackal's nature to do that. And, it is exhausting!

You can become so worn down that you may even start believing what a Hijackal says about you. Has that happened to you? Or, maybe, you got to the "Whatever!" stage? You have been judged, criticized, gaslighted, and ignored, too. They feel powerful when they do those things: large and in charge, they think. They are not. They are actually small and afraid, but they'll never, ever see or admit that.

In this episode, I've offered ten of the multitude of things a narcissist or other Hijackal will say to you to put you in your place, or so they think! In their worlds, they must be the top of the pile, and they honestly think that their needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, preferences, memories, whims, and demands should take precedence over everyone else's. Yes, they may do that in an overt, obvious, even grandiose way. They also may do it in a "I'm a victim" covert way. In fact, many times, they'll use both, just to cover their bases.

How to respond to this to save your sanity and stop second-guessing yourself? I offer you clear ways to work on that.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Why narcissistic Hijackals (in fact, all Hijackals) need to demean, dismiss, and discount you
• 10 phrases they use to hopefully gain power over you
• How to use your inner dialogue to not shrink when a narcissist is nasty
• Recognizing more ways that emotional abuse shows up in primary relationships with parents, partners, siblings, and adult children
• How to stick to the facts and respond accordingly

Do you need insights and strategies for mitigating and responding to emotional and verbal abuse? I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#emotionallyabusive #nastythingsnarcissistssay #whatnarcissistssay #howtoneutralize #neutralizeemotionalabuse #neutralizingverbalabuse #yourinternaldialogue #notgoodenough

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ugh! The narcissistic Hijackal falls silent, ignores you, and won't respond. What's up with that? What are they hoping to achieve? What's your internal dialogue? What ways are most effective to respond? That's today's episode.

So dismissive! Hijackals can treat you as though you're invisible, erased, and definitely not present. They want to impress upon you the contempt they feel for you. So, they fall silent.

Big power move...or, so they think! Until you understand the dynamics of this, you may be upset, distressed, and doing everything in your power to get the Hijackal to starting talking to you. Have you done that? What was the cost? I'll bet it was at the expense of your self-esteem at the very least!

Hijackals and other narcissistic folks--and other passive-aggressive people--want you to think they have power over you. When they can't win by talking, they try to by The Silent Treatment. It's nasty. For some of them, they do it because they don't know what else to do. Pathetic! For others, they do it to impress on you just how upset they are with you. Is it working?

So much of the BIG silence is emotionally abusive. I'm sure you've felt that, but have you allowed yourself to call it that? In this episode, I talk about seven ways that The Silent Treatment is emotionally abusive. After you listen, you'll be able to clearly see what's up with that in your relationship.

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• What Hijackals want to avoid by giving you The Silent Treatment
• Why narcissistic folks misguidedly think The Silent Treatment will work
• 7 ways to recognize The Silent Treatment as emotional abuse
• 6 ways NOT to respond to The Silent Treatment
• 4 MUST-DOS to respond to The Silent Treatment

If you're tired of the drama, the manipulation, and The Silent Treatment, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#silenttreatment #respondingtothesilenttreatment #whatsupwiththat #whatbulliesdo #thesilenttreamentisabusive

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hijackals & other narcissistic people have neither thought nor intention of leveling any playing field. No, it's about the all important winning. Why? What can you do or say? Use the ideas in this episode to step back from the crazy-making! 

When you're in a relationship with a relatively healthy person, you work things out. In working them out together, you build trust and safety. It brings you closer.

Not so when you're dealing with narcissistic #Hijackals! They do not want to create emotional intimacy, so getting closer to them is really swooping in for the win. It is not something they can, or want to, sustain. You've likely noticed that.

Why do they have out-of-proportion responses when you ask something small from them? Sadly, everything threatens them, and they resist any form of healthy giving. Normally healthy people, when offended, have a reaction, cool down, and things can be repaired. Hijackals react by devaluing you, threatening, punishing, disregarding, discarding, or the power move of The Silent Treatment. Learn more about these tactics in this episode.

Also, learn four solid ways to respond when you recognize that you have been trying to fit in, please, or appease a person with narcissistic tendencies. Great steps to finding and reclaiming your personal power, the power to operate from your own thoughts, feelings, values, vision, beliefs, and desires. I know you don't desire move emotional abuse, right? You'll be empowered by taking these four steps!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• Most healthy enough relationships operate on fairness. Not so in a relationship with a #Hijackal.
• Why narcissistic Hijackals operate in their own self-interest
• Why no meaningful solutions are found to relationship difficulties with a narcissistic person
• Ways to respond to the warped sense of equality, fairness and justice
• Steps to be emerging empowered as you recognize the warp and respond

If you're exhausted and worn down by a toxic relationship, let's talk about how to be emerging empowered from this warped world of Hijackals. I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Community Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#narcissistareunfair #neverequal #alwaysbetterthanme #needtowin #hijackalsneedtowin #oneupmanship #nothingisfair #hairlinesenseofjustice #narcissisticwould #narcissisticneeds @narcissistictendencies #warpedworld

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #emergingempowered #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You had no choice in the role a narcissistic parent created for you and assigned to you. You were stuck with it--while usually being quite unaware of it. It's just the way your family is, like it or not, right?

NOW, in this episode, see your assigned role(s) so you can shed them and choose again! 

In episode #201 on pseudomutuality, I talked about how #Hijackals like to paint a public picture of perfection on their families, which creating a private place of pain at home, within the family. Hijackals don't like the assigned roles I talk about in this episode to show in any way. It becomes a big family secret to them. In fact, they will deny that these roles exist:

"I love all of my wonderful children equally."

Now, we know that's not true. In fact, sometimes, it's a question of if they love any of them...or, anyone except themselves. (That's a topic for another time, though.)

In the episode, I mentioned these two definitions from Webster's dictionary. I'm including them here because some people think that scapegoats and black sheep are the same. There is an important distinction:

BLACK SHEEP: "a person who causes shame or embarrassment because of deviation from the accepted standards of their group."

SCAPEGOAT" "a person made to bear the blame for others or to suffer in their place."

Quite a difference when you're bearing the brunt of the role, particularly!

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• How pseudomutuality creates a false front, masking the assigned roles a narcissistic parent gave you
• 8 different roles you may have observed or experienced within your family
• Why narcissistic, Hijackal parents assign these roles
• How the "ruler of the household" assigns the labels
• Why everyone in the household goes along with them
• How your assigned roles may still be affecting your self-esteem and adult relationships

If you recognize some issues your family of origin created, I'm here to help.

I wish you well.

Big hugs!

Rhoberta

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @drshaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Support Circle now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Community 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#rolesinanarcissisticfamily #narcissisticfamilyrules #beingascapegoat #goldenchild #blacksheepofthefamily #familyemotionalabuse

#borderlinepersonalitydisorder

#savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #emotionaltrauma #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #drshaler #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Power in relationships can be a very difficult and disturbing issue. Of course, if you have a Hijackal parent, partner, sibling, or adult child, you're well aware of that! This episode will give you new insights into solving ever-arising issues!

My guest, Mira Kirschenbaum, wrote in Why Couples Fight:

"A power move is anything we do or say that makes the other person feel disempowered."

Of course, it's all in the perception, however, if each of us is careful not to purposefully say or do something that is designed to make another feel disempowered, it's a great start!

So, are you responsible for feeling empowered? That's a big question we talk through during the episode.

As Mira says in a recent article on her website: ChestnutHillInstitute.com :

"If you have an 800-pound gorilla in your room--in this case, a gorilla of power imbalances and power struggles--you have to step up and make dealing with it a priority. Just the way you would if you came home and found an actual 800-pound gorilla in your room. The first step is just understanding the problem and taking it seriously. Then, doing what works to solve it."

HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:

• 6 Signs Power Problems are Poisoning Your Relationship
• The smartest thing to do when you feel disempowered in a relationship
• Why creating distance can be destructive in relationships sometimes
• Identifying power moves in you relationship
• A 3-Step process for resolving relationship conflict

Not all issues in a relationship have an equitable solution. Using Mira Kirschenbaum's 3-Step process is a great start!

warm regards,

Rhoberta

GUEST: MIRA KIRSHENBAUM

Mira has an international reputation as a therapist working with individuals, couples, and families. People from all over the world have come to seek her help, including royalty and people prominent in entertainment, business, medicine, law, sports, and, of course men and women in all walks of life. Mira has always made an effort to work with people who are disadvantaged.

Mira has lectured and done training at Harvard and made countless appearances on TV, radio, and in print. She’s appeared a number of times on the Today Show, CNN, and numerous daytime talk shows, and has been interviewed frequently in magazines such as Cosmo, Glamour, and Town and Country.

Mira was one of the pioneers of feminist therapy and family therapy in Boston. She was also a founding member of One Generation After in Boston, an organization for children of Holocaust survivors designed to educate the public about the Holocaust and the dangers of genocide and racism.

Throughout her career, Mira’s focus has been on giving people, particularly women, the tools they need to give themselves the lives they want and need. Her work has always been focused on empowerment within a full understanding of the person’s context.

FREE GIFT FROM MIRA KIRSHENBAUM:

Not at this time

CONTACT INFO FOR MIRA KIRSHENBAUM:

Website: https://www.mirakirshenbaum.com

Podcasts:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mira-kirshenbaum-b7a57717/

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/youcanjustcallmemira

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mirakirshenbaum/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MiraKirshenbaum

YouTube:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97

CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER! I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again.

FOLLOW DR. SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler

LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

CLUBHOUSE: @DrShaler

-------------------------------------------------------------

I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.

WOW! Join now. Emerging Empowered Community Circle

----------------------------------------------------------------------

#MIRAKIRSHENBAUM #powertruinsrelationship #poweristhenemyoflove #powerintoxicrelationships #poweroveryourpartner #powerproblems #powermoves #powerinrelationships #relationshippoison #poisoningyourrelationship

#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #hijackalabuse #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #drrhobertashaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #unhealthyrelationships #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #passiveaggressive #notgoodenough #relationshiphelp #verballyabusive #stopemotionalabuse #narcissisticabuse #emotionaltrauma #narcissism #psychopath #sociopath #emergingempowered

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.