Object constancy is very much missing in a relationship with a narcissistic Hijackal, and it's an essential ingredient of a healthy relationship. In this episode, I explain what it is and what happens when it's missing.

Does your relationship feel like juggling jello? It will if you have a Hijackal in it!!!

Learn how to see and understand what's missing in your relationship that causes SO much tension and second-guessing. You may be blaming yourself as well as being blamed by the Hijackal, and IT'S NOT TRUE! That's why thinking about this important concept of "object constancy" helps you to understand why you feel so pushed around by the extremes of the Hijackal. Fancy name for a very important concept!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Why life seems so unpredictable with a narcissistic person
• How things so easily go from getting along to being threatened with being left and you feel blind-sided
• How life with a Hijackal is like "juggling Jello" (Ever felt that way?)
• What "object constancy" is and why it answers big questions about the way Hijackals are
• How uncertainty becomes a constant in a relationship with a Hijackal

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Introductory session for new clients,only $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#objectconstancy #wholeobjectrelations #beingthreatened #feelingthreatened #beingleft #neverfeelclose

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Being with a narcissist or any Hijackal is exhausting! You really want to believe they love you and yet to scramble to find even little shards of evidence. Then, you make the shards sound like a whole thing, right? You second-guess yourself...because a Hijackal WANTS you to feel uncertain and confused. Listen in and recognize how and that this is happening, SO you can stop it!!!

Self-doubt means you lose faith and confidence in yourself and your abilities. You can also start questioning your memory, wants, judgment, needs, feelings, and thoughts. A Hijackal preys on your vulnerabilities in attempts to keep you second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity. Do these 10 signs of self-doubt and low self-esteem sound familiar?

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• How narcissists dominate the emotional landscape...or try to
• Recognizing the ten 10 signs of self-doubt and its accompany low self-esteem
• Why Hijackals NEED to take up too much space and leave you too little
• Why eroding your self-confidence is a huge win for a narcissistic Hijackal
• How to know it's time to say "NO" to someone who wears, tears, and puts you down.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Introductory session for new clients,only $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#selfdoubt #livingwithanarcissist #haveanarcissisticparent #selfcritical #difficultpeople #lowselfesteem

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You look for signs that someone cares. You long for signs they love you, right? So any little glimmer seems hopeful. Yet, you feel alone, demeaned, dismissed, and ignored in so many ways. That's a problem!

In this episode, you'll learn more about why you cannot find the emotional intimacy you crave with an empathy-deficient person, a Hijackal who is narcissistic.. And, what you need to know to make good decisions about it, too. p.s. ALL Hijackals are narcissistic!

Hijackal® is my term for people who hijack a relationship for their own needs and purposes, and then relentlessly scavenge that relationship for power, status, and control. Got on in your life? A parent? Partner? Sibling? Adult Child? In-Law? Hijackals feel the need to take as much as they can from you, while giving you as little as possible to get away with. Familiar? Listen in.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Why empathy is important to intimacy
• Why you're not safe when there is no empathy
• Why you must notice how you make excuses for the lack of empathy in others
• How the desire for closeness with a person is healthy...and, what makes it not.

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Introductory session for new clients,only $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#notfeelingsafe #noemotionalsafety #noequality #noempathy #noemotionalintimacy #

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

They keep you guessing, don't they? Narcissists--and all Hijackals--like to keep you in uncertainty, chaos, and confusion.

You HOPE you know them, and then they make you question it.

Can you rely on them? Only for one thing...and, I tell you about that ONE thing in this episode along with many signs showing you that it is unwise to trust a narcissistic person even you want to believe you know and like them. Honesty is a big question when you're in a relationship with a Hijackal, as well as respect, reliability, safety, and trust. Much as you want to believe they have those things to give you...sadly, they don't...and won't.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Where the idea of "know, like & trust" came from: Bob Burg's book, Endless Referrals
• How it applies to relationships
• The one thing you CAN trust about Hijackals and other narcissistic folks
• What makes it almost impossible for Hijackals to love you
• 6 predictable things about Hijackals®

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Introductory session for new clients,only $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#knowliketrust #narcissistisunreliable #canttrustmypartner #canmypartnerchange #ihatethelies #timetoleave

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Partner? Parent? Sibling? Child? Someone holding you as an emotional hostage? SEE THE SIGNS!

You may be making excuses for their behavior, and not seeing their destructive, manipulative ways. You need to clearly recognize these signs of emotional terrorists in action so you can clearly refuse to let them take you hostage.

You can become a hostage so slowly that you actually did so willingly. You thought it was compromise, collaboration, and the loving thing to do. You may not have thought of it as abusive...and, now is the time to find out what's really going on.

Emotional terrorists traffic in fear, obligation, guilt, anxiety, and hypervigilance. Do those sound familiar? You really NEED to know these signs!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• How emotional terrorists are similar to other kinds of terrorists
• What emotional terrorists do to hold you hostage
• How your empathy can be played upon by Hijackals and other emotional terrorists
• Why it's important to not take on board what they say about you
• How recognizing these signs of emotional terrorism can help you to strengthen your resolve to say NO to emotional abuse

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Introductory session for new clients,only $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#emotiona.terrorists #emotionalterrorism #emotionalhostage #takebackyourpersonalpower #saynotoabuse

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

...AND, it's not your fault! You can feel VERY lonely in a supposedly close relationship. You do everything you can to close the gap, yet nothing works. This episode will help you see what's up, and why it's a THEM problem, and not a YOU problem. Valuable to know so you won't lose sleep!

Recognizing the signs of emotional unavailability can relieve you of thinking you're not doing enough, or not good enough. That's GOOD NEWS!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• What emotional unavailability feels like
• Recognizing that emotional unavailability is not caused by you
• How emotional unavailability is a defense mechanism
• What emotionally unavailable people do and why
• Signs of emotional unavailability

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Introductory session for new clients,only $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#emotionallyunavailable #notyourfault #lonelyinarelationship #partnerdoesntcare #doesntcarehowIfeel

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wonder why you do what you do? Feel like you feel? What shaped you? Listen to this episode and check for these twenty ways you could be feeling and behaving that are result of things you may not even think about in your childhood. Good step towards enhanced emotional well-being.

It's NOT direct cause and effect. People and events in your early life CAN lead to the way your feel about yourself in relationship in your later life. Important to recognize so that you can make conscious decisions about what is best for you. Two children in the same family can have very different perceptions and reactions to the same event. Everyone is different. AND, some of these may resonate for you. Others may be validating. All are good to think about!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• 20 possible responses to what you learned about yourself and others in your family
• Not everyone is affected in the same way
• Why it's wise to consider these
• Knowing what you'd like to change is a powerful start for reclaiming your personal power
• What contributes to your ability to trust
• Why you may never feel safe

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Introductory session for new clients,only $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#childhoodtrauma #whatchildhoodtraumacancreate #whydoIdothis #signsofchildhoodneglect #Iwantahealthyrelationship #wanttofeelsafe

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you focused on a Hijackal and not on yourself? That's just what the Hijackal wants you to do. Time for focus on your own internal well-being. In this episode, you'll hear 8 MUST HAVES, and, more importantly, WHY they are an essential place to start when you're feeling put down, worn down, and torn down by a narcissistic Hijackal. Regain your center. Reclaim your power...and rebuild your life.

Sound good? Great! You'll be on a good path to healthier relationships with yourself and others when you discover the power of these 8 MUST-HAVES. AND, put them into daily action in your life.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• Why balance is key
• Why balance is next to impossible for more than a hot minute with a Hijackal®
• Not co-regulating with a dysfunctional Hijackal
• Recognizing your need for autonomy (Hijackals hat that!)
• You have the right to express your feelings, thoughts, needs, and wants
• Claiming your space in life with anyone

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Introductory session for new clients,only $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#emotionalwellbeing #dysfunctionalcoregulation #autonomyishealthy #takecareofmyself #expressmyfeelings #innerpeace

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a sad turn of events when a way of misleading and manipulating people is the word of the year for Merriam-Webster. It's TOO much. It's emotional abuse. It's TOO frequent. Have you been gaslighted? Do you wonder if you're experiencing it?

It can begin very subtly, and you might feel a little flattered...or close. Slowly it becomes more persistent, and you might start second-guessing yourself and questioning your sanity. That's when you NEED to KNOW it's GASLIGHTING!

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• What gaslighting is
• How it was chosen as the word of the year for 2022 by the Merriam-Webster dictionary
• Why it's important to see it when it's happening, or has happened, to you
• How it changes your self-confidence and self-esteem
• The impact of gaslighting

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Introductory session for new clients,only $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#gaslighting #whatisgaslighting #secondguessingmyself #amicrazy #deviouscommunication #emotionalmanipulation

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So frustrating, disappointing, and infuriating! Hijackals will NOT allow you to be equal in all the ways that count in a relationship. They reject it. It helps you to see it when you hear how and why it happens. You can feel it, for sure, but SO MUCH BETTER to know what's up, right?

Ever have the lingering feeling that the person you have in mind right now is not interested in ever letting you feel good enough? Be right? Get what you want? That's because of underlying inequality in many cases. I mean it: this is SO important to recognize and lean into. It can be the beginning of changing the games they play.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:

• What equality looks like...AND, what it doesn't
• Why Hijackals have no interest in equality
• Why Hijackals of all stripes really think you're disposable
• How inequality creates such stress and tension...and, you often think it's something else doing that.
• How to see the inequality clearly and make good decisions about it

I'm here to help. Let's talk soon.

Rhoberta

Introductory session for new clients,only $97

FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER...

WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com

PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com

NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com

FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor

INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler

PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp

-------------------------------------------------------------

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT!

If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships,

join my Emerging Empowered Community now.

Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month!

WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 

#nevergoodenough #cannotbeequal #alwaysneedstowin #lackofequality #emotionalmanipulation

#emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders

#signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.