The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

Session 10: Does it Get Worse Before It Gets Better?


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Is there an expiration date on old wounds? This week, Brian struggles with seeing Bethany receive empathy for her car accident, as it triggers a deep, unspoken pain from his own past trauma. Months earlier, he was the victim of a violent attack that left him unable to work and feeling alone, which became the foundation for his "I'm done, I'm leaving" stance and his feeling of being a "second-class citizen."

This session is about the courage it takes to finally give voice to old hurt. The turning point isn't about deciding whose trauma was worse; it's the powerful breakthrough that happens when Brian shares his vulnerability, and Bethany, instead of defending, meets it with empathy, saying it "softens me." It's a profound lesson in co-regulation and how learning to receive each other's pain is the true foundation of healing.

This week's prompt: Reflect on an old hurt that still shows up in your current relationship. What is the feeling that gets triggered, and what do you wish your partner could see in that moment?

Send your responses to this prompt or any questions/comments you have about the podcast via email or voice note to [email protected]. Your submission might be featured on a future episode.

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The Secure Love Podcast with Julie MenannoBy Julie Menanno

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