The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

Session 13: From Bad Guy to Bad A**: The Avoidant Partner Reclaims Her Voice


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Last week, we explored the "why" behind Bethany's avoidant behavior. This week, we go deeper, uncovering the pain she has been silently carrying to keep the peace. For years, Bethany has minimized her own needs, believing her hurts "don't rise to the level" of the pain she caused Brian. But this silence has come at a cost: disconnection, resentment, and the loss of her own voice.

In a powerful moment of reclaiming her assertiveness, Bethany reconnects with the "badass" she used to be. We explore what healthy assertion looks like for an avoidant partner and why standing up for yourself is actually an act of love for the relationship. We then turn to Brian to understand the "very good reasons" behind his disrespectful protests, revealing that his anger is often a desperate "air horn" trying to wake his partner up to his pain.

This week's prompt: Reflect on a time you minimized your own hurt to keep the peace. What part of yourself did you have to silence, and what would it look like to reclaim that voice today?

Send your responses to this prompt or any questions/comments you have about the podcast via email or voice note to [email protected]. Your submission might be featured on a future episode.

  • Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
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The Secure Love Podcast with Julie MenannoBy Julie Menanno

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