The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

Session 5: I Didn't Get Married to Throw it All Away


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What is the emotional cost for the partner who is left behind in the silence? This week, we turn to Bethany’s side of the story to understand her experience of being on the receiving end of Brian's threats to leave. We explore the cycle of confusion and anxiety that begins the moment he emotionally withdraws.

We journey into the pain Bethany so often holds inside—the feeling of being punished for a crime she doesn’t understand, triggering her deepest fears of failure and abandonment. For someone who has never been the one to threaten divorce, this dynamic leaves her feeling like the "bad guy," responsible for a rupture she doesn't know how to fix.

This episode reveals the profound shift that happens when pain is shared from a place of pure vulnerability. By giving voice to her sadness and fear, Bethany bypasses Brian's defenses, activating his empathy for the first time and proving that speaking from the heart can build bridges where frustration once built walls.

This week’s prompt: Reflect on a time you felt left in silence by a partner. What story did you tell yourself in that silence, and what was the core fear underneath it?

Send your responses to this prompt or any questions or comments about the podcast via email or voice note to [email protected]. Your submission might be featured in a future episode.

  • Follow Julie Menanno on social media @thesecurerelationship.
  • For weekly homework assignments visit our website: The Secure Relationship Podcast
  • Take Julie's Anxious Attachment Course: Anxious Attachment: Self-Work Course
  • Purchase Julie's book Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime
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The Secure Love Podcast with Julie MenannoBy Julie Menanno

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