💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time)

How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great?

Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner.

✅ 5 video lessons

✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy

✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time

👉 Start My Free Course Now 

"How can I make my relationship more fun again?"

"Why do long-term couples stop having fun?"

"How do I feel more attracted to my partner again?"

On this episode of Sex, Love & Elephants, Dr. Cheryl Fraser tackles a question every long-term couple eventually asks: where did the fun go? Cheryl gives an inside look at the couples retreat she's hosting this week in Whistler, BC, from team cheers and bear tours to a blindfolded canoe race and a Lego-building grand finale, and unpacks the psychology behind why play, adventure, and laughter aren't frivolous, they're foundational. She shares the famous "suspension bridge study," explains why doing something novel and slightly out-of-your-comfort-zone with your partner makes you find them more attractive, and issues a challenge: plan a fun adventure date this month, and share a joke with your partner every other day.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

(00:00) Why having more fun together is one of the most important things a couple can do, plus a first look at Cheryl's Whistler couples retreat, happening the week this episode airs

(02:19) The science of play: why humans (and puppies, kittens, and kids) are naturally wired to play, and why growth happens outside your comfort zone

(06:02) Inside day one of the retreat: team cheers, a scavenger hunt, and a bear tour, and why "seeing your partner with new eyes" is the real goal

(08:48) Why "The Thrill Is Gone" and "You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore" hit so hard, plus a first announcement: Cheryl's 2027 couples retreat in Mexico

(12:26) The blindfolded canoe obstacle course, and the surprising communication lesson it teaches about listening without judgment

(15:15) Tricycle races, sponge kayak tag, and the Lego challenge "great leveler," plus Cheryl's challenge to you: plan your own fun adventure date

(18:07) The Capilano Suspension Bridge study: the classic psychology research showing why excitement and novelty make us find our partner more attractive

(20:53) Cheryl's Passion Triangle model, intimacy, thrill, and sensuality, and how "Become Passion," her 3-month program, is built around it

(24:41) This month's challenge: share a joke or cartoon with your partner every other day, plus why "we can always begin again"

(27:05) Why a fun date won't make your relationship worse, even if it surfaces some cracks, and how to turn insight into real change

(28:58) Today's LoveByte: take yourself less seriously; being a big kid can help you be a better, more in-love couple

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! 

Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open October 2026 !  click HERE to join the wait list! 

Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.

Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Let's Connect!

💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time)

How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great?

Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner.

✅ 5 video lessons

✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy

✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time

👉 Start My Free Course Now 

"How common is it for long-term couples to stop having sex?"

"Why don't I feel like having sex with my partner anymore?"

"How do I turn my partner on when neither of us is in the mood?"

On this episode of Sex, Love & Elephants, Dr. Cheryl Fraser tackles the topic almost nobody talks about: the 30 to 43% of long-term couples who are in a low-sex or sexless relationship. Cheryl breaks down the two "keys" to what she calls your erotic engine — the body of arousal and the mind of desire — using her own 20-year-old Miata as the perfect analogy for a body sitting in neutral. She also unpacks why the old "spontaneous desire" model most of us grew up expecting doesn't hold up for most long-term couples, why responsive desire (and yes, scheduled sex) is the research-backed antidote, and shares the remarkable story of a couple in their 70s who hadn't seen each other naked in 30 years — and turned it all around.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

(00:00) Why 30–43% of long-term couples are having little or no sex — and the three words Cheryl says to every one of them: you are normal

(02:45) A first look at Cheryl's upcoming course, From Sexless to Sensual, plus the old "linear" model of arousal most of us were taught

(06:03) The first key to your erotic engine: the body of arousal, and why your body is like a cold sports car sitting in a tent

(08:56) The second key: the mind of desire, and how to use anticipation and language to turn your partner on before you're even in the same room

(12:13) Busting the myth that men always want sex more than women

(15:01) Cheryl's own coming-of-age story and what it taught her about consent, pacing, and knowing your own body

(18:14) What changed after menopause — and the real difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire

(21:04) The couple who hadn't seen each other naked in 30 years, and how they rebuilt intimacy step by step

(23:55) Why most long-term couples start lovemaking from a place of "sexual neutrality" — and why that's not a red flag

(26:53) Reframing "normal": why waiting for spontaneous desire can mean waiting forever

(29:41) Today's LoveByte: make sensuality a hobby, not an afterthought

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! 

Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026 and we begin in June 5th 2026!  click HERE to join the wait list! 

Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.

ON Saturday, May 16 from 10am–1pm PST join me, Dr. Cheryl, live on Zoom for a special FREE Relationship Reboot Workshop designed to help you take stock, reconnect, and create your next step as a couple. Previously only offered inside Become Passion, this live workshop will help you identify what’s working, what’s struggling, and where to focus!

Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Let's Connect!

💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time)

How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great?

Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner.

✅ 5 video lessons

✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy

✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time

👉 Start My Free Course Now 

"Why do I treat my partner worse than I treat my friends?"

"Why do couples fight more under stress than everyday life?"

"How do I stop assuming my partner sees things the way I do?"

On this episode of Sex, Love & Elephants, Dr. Cheryl Fraser takes you along on two very different kayaking trips — one a whisper-fight-filled disaster with her husband, the other a hard-won triumph with her best friend — to explore why so many of us treat our partner worse than we'd ever treat a stranger or a friend.

Cheryl unpacks why pressure exposes the cracks in a relationship, how a simple communication habit she calls "looking at the other side of the clock" can defuse conflict before it starts, and what the fears we "pack" into our relationships as commitment deepens really say about us. Along the way, she shares sobering research on divorce regret, a hard truth about how couples therapists are (and aren't) trained, and real stories of couples who turned their relationships around after decades of struggle.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

(00:00) Why Dr. Cheryl calls kayaks "divorce boats" and the story of the trip that started it all

(04:05) The whisper-fight in the kayak — and what it reveals about how we treat our partner under pressure

(07:25) "The other side of the clock": the simple question that turns conflict into cooperation

(11:26) A second trip puts the lesson to the test — and a couple proves they're not a "divorce boat"

(15:32) Why we're often kinder to friends than to our own partner, and how to change the pattern

(19:40) The truth about couples therapy: what to look for — and what to avoid — when seeking help

(24:16) The fears we "pack" into a relationship as commitment deepens

(28:00) Real couples' stories of turning things around after decades of disconnection

(31:07) The surprising research on divorce regret — and why giving up isn't always the answer

(33:28) Today's LoveByte: how you handle the cracks that show up under pressure

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! 

Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Let's Connect!

💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time)

How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great?

Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner.

✅ 5 video lessons

✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy

✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time

👉 Start My Free Course Now 

"My partner won’t go to therapy"

"I'm doing all the work in the relationship"

"Can you save a relationship alone?"

This classic episode of Sex, Love & Elephants dives deep into one of the most common and painful relationship struggles: what to do when your partner just won’t meet you halfway. Whether your sweetheart refuses to communicate, avoids tough conversations, or simply won’t go to therapy, 

Can you save a relationship alone? What happens when you’re doing all the work in the relationship? Is it even possible to rebuild connection when your partner thinks nothing is wrong?

With raw personal stories, real-life couple transformations, and actionable guidance, I teach you how even one partner—armed with the right tools—can begin to shift the dynamic. It starts with changing how you approach the tough stuff.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

(01:09) What to do when your partner won’t go to therapy—or refuses to talk

(04:46) The power of negative thinking: how your mind can make things feel worse than they are

(10:40) How your childhood attachment style may be shaping your relationship experience

(17:11) Why some partners resist change: fear, avoidance, and feeling blamed

(26:14) Real talk: How to bring up hard conversations without pushing them further away

(35:24) The key to rebuilding connection, even if you're doing the work alone

(38:12) Today’s LoveByte

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! 

Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Let's Connect!

About Me

Instagram

Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here

Facebook Page

Youtube

If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

💖REIGNITE YOUR LOVE — For Free (Limited Time)

How much better would life be if your romantic partnership was great?

Join Dr. Cheryl Fraser’s Reboot Your Relationship program— the science-based course to help you reconnect emotionally, sensually, and playfully with your partner.

✅ 5 video lessons

✅ “Homeplay” exercises and action steps to help you rekindle intimacy

✅ Normally $197 — Yours FREE for a limited time

👉 Start My Free Course Now 

“Can meditation make me a better lover?”

“Is great sex even possible in a long term relationship?”

“Why aren’t I horny for my spouse anymore?”

This classic episode of Sex, Love & Elephants is part of a series about the rumored demise of long-term love. I'll be sharing my own expertise on the subject as well as interviewing experts in the field about love, sex, and communication.

Dr. Lori Brotto is an internationally recognized leader in sexual health research and has mentored nearly 180 trainees. She has also spent time evaluating psychological interventions for sexual dysfunction and genital pain, which collectively impact ⅓ of women. In recognition of her contributions, she holds a Canada Research Chair in women’s sexual health, has received recent awards in mentoring junior faculty, excellent public education through media, book awards, and is listed among the top 2% cited scientists by Stanford/Elsevier.

Ready to rate your relationship? Take Cheryl’s Passion Quiz today and see how you and your honey rank.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

(02:23) On average, we're having far less sex today than we were 20 years ago

(05:55) If don’t experience overwhelming lust for your spouse anymore, you’re totally normal 

(10:50) Scheduled sex might not feel romantic, but it’s more romantic than no sex at all

(22:39) Mindfulness as a practice of being present is extremely useful for sexual satisfaction

(36:36) Your relationship is normal if you're only having sex on occasion or even if you’re not making love at all

(38:46) Today’s LoveByte 

Connect with Dr. Lori Brotto:

eSense

The Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook

Better Sex Through Mindfulness by Lori A Brotto

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource! 

Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Let's Connect!

About Me

Instagram

Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here

Facebook Page

Youtube

If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

Revive the communication, romance, and sex in your relationship! This May 26-30 I’m hosting four sessions of my FREE online Passion Masterclass. Sign up HERE and learn the 3 Keys To a Great Relationship. There will also be an extensive Q&A for Dr. Cheryl to answer YOUR questions.

Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026— click HERE to join the wait list! If you’re still not sure, check out some real testimonials from couples just like you and your sweetheart.

Marriage 911! What's your emergency? 

“We are miserable.When do you know to give up? Or is there a chance this relationship can be saved?” ”

Let’s face it, staying in love over the long haul is difficult. You may feel you have fallen out of love and you argue all the time, or so it seems. Attraction and desire may feel non-existent. But don’t give up. There are proven steps that can help you renovate your relationship. It takes effort to make long term love work - and I am here to help. 

On today’s Best Of episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll learn that reviving the love, communication and yes—even the desire in your  relationship is possible. Whatever you and your partner are experiencing, even when it feels like all hope is lost, it is still possible to begin again 

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

(0:11) Falling in love is easy, but staying in love over the long term takes mindfulness, effort, and dedication 

(3:03) The Become Passion Program involves eight weeks of lessons, live coaching calls with Dr. Cheryl where she answers your confidential questions, and bonuses trrainings with other experts in relationships and sexuality

(5:07) The number one predictor of health, happiness, longevity, and more, is the quality of our romantic relationship with our companion - so work on it!  

(6:13) The Become Passion program is an immersion 3 month program and we do the real work. It’s not easy…but it IS effective. Let’s create the change you desire, starting next week!  

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl's book Buddha's Bedroom is a great resource!

Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Let's Connect!

About Me

Instagram

Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here

Facebook Page

Youtube

If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

Revive the communication, romance, and sex in your relationship! This May 26-30 I’m hosting four sessions of my FREE online Passion Masterclass. Sign up HERE and learn the 3 Keys To a Great Relationship. There will also be an extensive Q&A for Dr. Cheryl to answer YOUR questions.

Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026— click HERE to join the wait list! If you’re still not sure, check out some real testimonials from couples just like you and your sweetheart.

Marriage 911! What's your emergency? 

My partner and I are getting older and our sex life just isn’t what it used to be. What’s happening to us?

As we age, we all experience changes in our desire, arousal, and body image. In fact, there are changes in what feels like almost everything to do with our sexual life—whether it’s with our partner or with ourselves. 

On today’s Best Of episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll learn that even if you’ve experienced some big changes to your sex life as you’ve gotten older, there are solutions to the trouble you’re facing. Listen carefully and you’ll hear the hope.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

(01:30) A satisfying sex life for a couple that has at least one male bodied person in it doesn’t have to revolve around a firm erection 

(04:54) Women can still have great sex post-menopause—it might just look different than before 

(06:17) It's easy to give up when your bodies aren't responding well, but there are solutions out there 

(08:21)Sex is a way of connecting erotically, emotionally, and spiritually with our partner and it’s a vital part of life and love 

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl's book Buddha's Bedroom is a great resource!

Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Let's Connect!

About Me

Instagram

Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here

Facebook Page

Youtube

If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

Revive the communication, romance, and sex in your relationship! This May 26-30 I’m hosting four sessions of my FREE online Passion Masterclass. Sign up HERE and learn the 3 Keys To a Great Relationship. There will also be an extensive Q&A to have YOUR questions answered!

Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026— click HERE to join the wait list! Still not sure? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.

Marriage 911! What's your emergency? 

“The thrill is gone!”

“I love my partner, but I'm not in love with them any more.” 

“We’re no longer lovers—we’re merely roommates.” 

If any of these relationship emergencies sound familiar, you’re in the right place.

On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, you’ll learn that your relationship isn’t over, even if it feels like all the spark has long fizzled out. The house, the kids, and the bills can all overwhelm your romance, but they don’t have to take priority over passion. 

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

Falling out of love and into Marriage Incorporated is insidious (03:43)

Make your love life your hobby (06:13)

Great date nights don’t have to be fancy or expensive—but they are so important to schedule (08:28)

Big change only happens when we take action (10:27)

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl’s book Buddha’s Bedroom is a great resource!

Let’s Connect!  

Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here 

Youtube

If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

ON Saturday, May 16 from 10am–1pm PST join me, Dr. Cheryl, live on Zoom for a special FREE Relationship Reboot Workshop designed to help you take stock, reconnect, and create your next step as a couple. Previously only offered inside Become Passion, this live workshop will help you identify what’s working, what’s struggling, and where to focus!

Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026— click HERE to join the wait list! Still not sure? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.

Marriage 911! What's your emergency? 

HELP! How can I ever get over the pain of my partner’s affair? 

Believe it or not, it is possible to recover from a betrayal in your relationship. It may not be easy, but great relationships always revolve around intention.

On today’s Best Of episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you everything you need to know about affairs—and what you and your partner can do in the aftermath to try and reestablish trust in your relationship. 

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

(02:18) There are sexual affairs and emotional affairs and they can be equally devastating 

(03:29) An emotional affair is when you're sharing intimate hopes and dreams with someone who's not your spouse and your spouse doesn’t know 

(06:49) All sympathy tends to go to the person who’s been cheated on, but we’re all just bozos on the bus who make mistakes 

(09:40) No one can earn our trust, they can only choose to act in a trustworthy manner 

(10:33) Very few things hurt as much as being betrayed, but there is hope 

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl's book Buddha's Bedroom is a great resource!

Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Let's Connect!

About Me

Instagram

Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here

Facebook Page

Youtube

If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz

ON Saturday, May 16 from 10am–1pm PST join me, Dr. Cheryl, live on Zoom for a special FREE Relationship Reboot Workshop designed to help you take stock, reconnect, and create your next step as a couple. Previously only offered inside Become Passion, this live workshop will help you identify what’s working, what’s struggling, and where to focus!

Are you and your sweetheart finally ready to join my Become Passion program? The doors open May 26, 2026— click HERE to join the wait list! Still not sure? Check out some testimonials from real couples just like you and your partner.

Marriage 911! What's your emergency? 

So, you’ve just had a flooded argument… Even if you didn't resort to overt verbal abuse like yelling, swearing, or being especially cruel, you know that you said irrational things. But here’s the truth: It's not entirely your fault. When we’re dysregulated, we’re not rational. 

On today’s episode of Sex, Love, and Elephants, I’m teaching you about verbal abuse. Verbal abuse has the power to make us spiral—we go down the dark rabbit hole and end up rehashing every old wound, never seeming to get out of that same repeating argument. It isn’t always obvious but it does occur way too often—and it can absolutely destroy your relationship.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

(04:29) Verbal abuse can be bickering, criticizing and nitpicking, and using controlling language 

(04:57) Giving your partner the silent treatment or a severe lack of communication can also feel abusive 

(07:18) Learning to self regulate our emotions is one of the most important things we can do for our relationships 

(07:58) Be kind to your friend… And if you snap, apologize! 

Want to learn more about Buddhism and relationships? Cheryl's book Buddha's Bedroom is a great resource!

Follow @drcherylfraser on Instagram

Let's Connect!

About Me

Instagram

Website - Sign up for Weekly LoveBytes here

Facebook Page

Youtube

If you want to rate your relationship, take the Passion Quiz