In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m a woman in my early thirties and I don’t get wet either during masturbation or sex (but I do have orgasms easily). It has always been like that. I’ve tried lubes, creams, dietary supplements, even hormones, but nothing's changed. I’ve talked to different doctors and everything is fine medically with me. I didn’t talk to my boyfriend about my problem at the start because I feel so terribly ashamed about it. Instead, I secretly put some lube on and in my vagina before we had sex. I didn’t want him to feel that I am always dry — I was scared he would take it personally or think I’m not normal. More than a year later, I’m still doing this. If I think we’re going to have sex, I tell him I need to go to the toilet or invent other excuse so I can apply some lube. It’s very stressful! I don't want to hide this secret anymore but I feel trapped. Should I confess what I’ve been doing, every single time we've had sex? I think that he’d be completely okay with it, but I don’t want to stop using lube because I don’t want to be touched when I am dry. It doesn’t make me feel feminine at all and I AM worried what he will think…

2) We’ve been married for 12 years and both of us are bored stupid with our sex life. My wife is keen for us to act out our sexual fantasies to shake things up, but I’m worried this might backfire. She’s enthusiastic after a few drinks and wants to try everything; but, the next day, stone-cold sober, gets cold feet. Is there a way to get our kicks without her waking up regretful or it causing real problems between us?

3) I’ve been with my partner for 20 years and we’re really happy. Or at least I thought we were. About two months ago, we were both talking about things we wish we’d done in our lives and things we regret; and, out of the blue, my partner confessed he’d had a brief affair with one of my friends 10 years ago. It was very strange – it was almost like he was boasting about it. that I should be impressed that my friend hit on him. It’s thrown me completely and I am questioning everything. I’m not friends with the woman anymore but how do I live with this? 

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) My partner of six years and I used to have really good sex but it’s dropped off considerably as time goes on. We used to be grabbing at each other all the time but that’s disappeared and now it’s all too easy to let other things take priority. Would planning a day when we do it help us get back on track or does it turn sex into a something you tick off the ‘to-do’ list?

2) I am certain my partner watches porn but he won’t admit it to me. I made it clear at the start of the relationship that if I found out he watched it while with me, it’s over. We have sex often so why would he need to look at other women? I find it insulting that I am not enough. He knows I am on the warpath so he clears his history and changes his password on his phone. I can’t admit that I know this without admitting that I’m snooping. How do I get him to truly stop and how will I truly know when he has?

3) I’m 34 and having real problems with relationships. I don’t trust men at all, even though none of the people I’ve been with have ever cheated on me. It’s because my father had an affair. The affair broke my mother and the pain and devastation it caused has left its mark on all of us. My siblings also struggle with trust issues. Any advice on how to get past this?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I have been with my partner for 15 years – we got together at college. Our sex life is okay...ish, but I crave new experiences and I want to have them on my own. I have always wanted to sleep with another woman. I would never cheat on my partner with another man – that’s just wrong — but is sleeping with another woman so bad? I know a club where I could meet women and make this happen. I would make sure I was discrete and that my partner never found out.

2) Tracey, you talked about using a stroker to speed up a hand-job. Do you have any other shortcuts to keep husbands happy when you’ve been married a long time and sex gets tedious? Hints on how to speed things up a little?

3) My boyfriend (of six months) keeps trying to tell me how to dress and what to wear. I think it comes from the right place – he’s always telling me what an amazing body I have – but it’s ticking me off. If he had his way, I’d be permanently in heels, skinny jeans and a low cut top. I’m happy to dress sexily some of the time, but other times I just want to be comfortable. He’s making me feel bad for dressing down. Like I’m only attractive to him when I’m in tight, sexy clothes. I’ve told him to stop but he continues. I think he thinks he’s giving me a compliment: that I have a good body and should show it off.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m a straight woman and very happy with my partner. All is good; but, four years in I still feel intimated by his sexual past. He’s a little older than me and has had many lovers. I have only slept with one person before him (I was in a long-term relationship for many years before we met). He’s never said anything to make me feel inferior, but I sometimes feel like a dancing monkey trying to wow the crowd. I still worry I’m not hitting the bar. How can I get past this?

2) I’m trying to work out if my sex life is in trouble or not. I’ve been with my partner for eight years and am not stupid enough to expect the fireworks that were there at the start. But sex often feels like something that’s a chore to be crossed off my ‘to-do’ list. I feel bad admitting this because I know Tracey thinks women should initiate, but I leave it up to my husband to suggest sex. It’s okay when we have it, but we are guilty of doing the same thing every time. Does this sound like a sex life in trouble or the norm for a couple that's been together a long time?

3) Does being drunk excuse someone from cheating? I’ve just started seeing someone who seems nice. But the other night he went AWOL on a night out with the boys and didn’t contact me until mid-afternoon the next day. He then admitted he’d been with someone else. He basically blamed his mates for getting him so drunk that he had no idea what he was doing. I don’t know whether to give him another chance or not. He’s 54 and divorced, and I’m 48. He was single for a while before I met him.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) What’s your view on ‘vabbing’? Does it really work to attract men? Can people tell what it is they’re smelling and wouldn’t they be put off if they do figure it out? 

2) I’m a 44-year-old attractive, fit woman but have never really been in a proper relationship and because of this I lack experience in the bedroom. I can honestly say I don’t know how to give basic things like a hand job and this is stopping me from dating men. It’s so embarrassing. Any tips on where I can learn how to do this?

3) My new partner goes into baby speak when he wants sex. He puts on this stupid voice and says things like, ‘Willy wants his widdle played with;’ or, ‘Willy wants to be naughty/wants hanky panky.’ He thinks it’s funny but it’s such a turn-off. How do I get him to stop without hurting his feelings? 

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1) I’ve just started a new relationship with a guy I’m really into. Our sex is good and he seems to enjoy it but his erections are a little hit and miss. On two occasions, he struggled to get one and I notice he loses his erection when he goes down on me. Does that mean he’s not enjoying doing it? Do you think it means he’s not that into me sexually or he doesn’t find me attractive? We’re both in our 20s so shouldn’t his erection be really hard?

2) My husband is leaving for a work training course for 10 weeks. We will be able to talk and video chat on the phone but won’t see each other in person until his training is done. We’ve been together for 19 years and have never been apart for this long. We enjoy having sex 3-4 times a week and we are both going to miss it while he’s gone. Neither of us have ever had phone or video sex so any tips or ideas to spice things up from afar are much appreciated.

3) I haven't had a sexual partner for many years for various reasons (early menopause, kids etc). I would love to have a man in my life but don't even know where to start. I'm taking HRT so my libido is back with a vengeance, but I don't know where to find a partner. I also feel like a partner will expect me to know so much more than I do. I feel like a sexual novice and this is affecting my confidence. I’m 42.

 And offers her sex tip of the week!

Purchase SexTok with Zibby and Tracey merch here: https://www.bonfire.com/store/zibby-owens/

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Tracey writes a column summarizing the main points of each episode on Medium. Read it at https://bit.ly/3MhkxN4

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1) When my husband and I met in our early 40’s, we had a lot of sex that was fairly vanilla but very passionate. Over time, the frequency has decreased. I don’t like being the initiator so there’s not been much I can do to have sex more other than be incredibly enthusiastic when he does want it. The problem is that, over time, he’s become more interested in anal sex than vaginal sex. Having things put in my butt does not arouse me at all, but now it seems to be all he wants and all he can get off on. I wonder if he’s watching tons of anal porn and this has somehow taken over his erotic life. I don’t want to discourage sex or demand he desires things he doesn’t, but I desperately miss regular sex. How can I get him interested again?

2) My husband and I have been together for over 20 years and recently we have been in a bit of a slump. He was a virgin before he met me and I was not. He recently told me that he is a bit envious that I had experience before we got together. He only said it to me once but I worry that he feels that he's missed out. How can I help him through this?  I trust him and know that cheating is not an issue.

3) Sadly for my wife, I’ve started to snore as I age. This means she has badly disturbed nights. We are lucky, we have a solution: a spare room. I do sleep there every now and then to give her a break. But my snoring is so bad, I fear I might have to move into the spare room permanently. If I do this, is it the start of a slippery slope? Might our really great relationship start to suffer? We have a good sex life, usually enjoying it in the mornings, so I can readily slip back into the marital bed for a romp, or even invite my wife round to mine. Do you think it’s a problem?

 And offers her sex tip of the week!

Purchase SexTok with Zibby and Tracey merch here: https://www.bonfire.com/store/zibby-owens/

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Tracey writes a column summarizing the main points of each episode on Medium. Read it at https://bit.ly/3MhkxN4

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m a 35-year-old woman who has fallen in love with a much older man: he’s 60. At the moment, the age difference isn’t that apparent because he looks and acts much younger than his years. But I am worried about sex because it’s a big part of our relationship. How long can a man keep getting erections? Is there an age when he will stop wanting to have sex with me?

2) I’ve been with my wife for 25 years, and recently she asked me - no, TOLD me - to bite her nipples, HARD. I did, and she kept saying to bite harder. I was afraid of breaking the skin. How common is this? Why has it never come up before? I sort of understand, because there have been times when I have wanted her to squeeze my testicles, and probably with a lot more force than one might think would be comfortable. Is this the same phenomena, sort of?



3) My mother died suddenly a few months ago and for some reason, it’s reignited my very lazy sex drive. I’ve gone from trying to avoid sex to trying to have it as much as I possibly can. I felt terrible at first - like it was disrespectful. But it was the only time I could escape the awful feeling of loss and grief. Is this normal? Does it happen to other people, too?

 And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Tracey writes a column summarizing the main points of each episode on Medium. Read it at https://bit.ly/3MhkxN4

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1) I am a happily married man who likes wearing women’s underwear under my clothes. I buy the items secretly and my wife has no idea I do this: it’s remarkably easy to get away with if you think things through. I’ve been doing this from when I was very small and never told anyone about it in my life. It doesn’t interfere with my relationships but I would dearly love not to have to hide it and to share this indulgence with my wife. I have two questions: would you consider this a fetish and should I tell her?

2) Tracey, I am like you often describe yourself when you were younger – namely very jealous of everything. Real women, porn, fantasies, thoughts…I would like to control everything. It makes me (and all of my partners – including the one I am with now) go crazy. What can I do about it? I tried different kinds of psychotherapy but I am still going nuts, very often. How did you find your way out of this horror?



3) My husband and I are very different heights. I am 5'5" and my husband is 6'5". We have been together for almost 25 years now and have had some ups and downs, but we have recently found each other again. We are both very adventurous during sex and really enjoy each other. We both would like to have him bend me over and take me or have sex standing up. The problem is our height. Even shower sex is out. The angle just isn't right and it becomes quite funny when we try. Do you have any ideas on how to solve these problems?

 And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Tracey writes a column summarizing the main points of each episode on Medium. Read it at https://bit.ly/3MhkxN4

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:

1) Sometimes when I’m in bed with my husband, I start laughing. He gets all huffy about it which makes me laugh even more. I have no idea why I do it or how to stop.

2) I’m very happy with my partner of 12 years but I dream of sex with other men nearly every night. I love the dreams: they’re exciting and fun though I do feel guilty when I wake up. I sometimes wonder if this means I’d be up for cheating if someone made a move on me. I’m in my mid 40s and don’t get hit on very often. The dreams make me not trust myself: I’d like to think I’d say no, but would I?  



3) Can you tell if a man is secretly gay or has bisexual tendencies? I have met a man I’m really into, but my instincts tell me something is wrong. He is curiously uninterested in having sex – especially since our relationship is new. I am always the instigator. When we do have sex, he won’t make eye contact and he cuts straight to intercourse. He doesn’t enjoy foreplay at all: there’s no interest in my breasts, he never fingers me and says he doesn’t like performing oral sex. Out of bed, he’s great and very affectionate. Though, now I think about it, he’s not into deep kissing either. Otherwise, he’s a great boyfriend and I’d like us to get serious. Am I being over paranoid? Should I ask him outright?

 And offers her sex tip of the week!

To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Tracey writes a column summarizing the main points of each episode on Medium. Read it at https://bit.ly/3MhkxN4

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.