In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m a woman in my early 40s and my problem is that I can only orgasm with a clitoral vibrator. I can reach orgasm on my own or with my partner, but only if I use vibration. I’ve never had an orgasm another way. I have tried SO hard on my own using fingers, but I don’t get even close. How do I change this? My current partner would love to make me orgasm. I’ve stopped using any sex toys as I want it to happen with him only. Is there something I can do?

2) Six years ago, I met a man at a music festival and we spent one day and night together. It was like something out of the movies. The second I met him, I felt like I’d known him forever. The conversation flowed, and when we kissed, it was perfect. We danced and had so much fun together. He was camping so I stayed the night and we had sex together – which was like nothing I have ever experienced. The next day, when we went to swap numbers, he said, ‘That was just perfect. Let’s leave it perfect.’ I agreed, though was dying inside. He walked away and I’ve never seen him again. He is all I think about. I relive every moment, and no-one comes close to making me feel the way he did. I worry I’ll never feel this way again or have sex that good again. How do I break the spell?

3) I am the most turned on when I have my period. Do you have any suggestions of how to broach continuing to have sex during this time with my new partner? He’s a bit squeamish. And any tips on how to make it less messy?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I don’t know where to start but please help because our sex life is such a mess! We’ve been married for 12 years and it’s the usual story: things started out great, then we got bored and sex got less and less frequent. Now we barely do it and it’s awkward and not pleasurable. Don’t tell me to try something new because it’s beyond that. I wish we could wipe the slate clean and start again. What advice do you have for me?

2) What’s your view on recreational drugs and whether they help or hinder sex? My libido seems to be dwindling with age (I’m 47) but when I smoke marijuana, I feel much more in the mood. The problem is, after we’ve had a good sex session while stoned, sex without the drug seems even more boring. Am I creating another problem for myself?

3) I was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive breast cancer in my 30s (though am almost four years cancer free now). Returning to sex after surgeries and scars was difficult and I’ve read so many stories of women that have faced the same thing. From hair loss, loss of breast, and early menopause, so many women are struggling to find their way back to enjoying sex. I'd love to hear your perspectives on body image and sex, especially after surgery.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I have an issue with pubic hair. Basically, I’m not a fan and like it well-manicured on both women and men. I shave my testicles and keep the rest neatly trimmed. My wife however has a laissez-faire attitude and sports a luxuriant bush though she does trim it before a beach vacation. I know that the issue is mine, no doubt a result of conditioning from porn. But I find hairy bits and pieces a turn off. Should I try to reprogram my mind? And if so, how?

2) I absolutely love having my breasts played with during sex but find most men ignore them after an obligatory squeeze. How can I encourage my lovers to pay more attention and, apart from the obvious fondling, what else feels nice to try?

3) I really love my partner of 8 months but find my desire for him rapidly disappearing. I suspect it’s because of his neediness. He seeks my approval for everything he does and sometimes it feels like he can’t make a single decision without checking with me. It’s nice to have my opinion respected and in many ways it suits me because I like being in control. But sex is the casualty. I want him to take charge in bed and be more assertive. Instead he adopts the same role as he does out of bed. How do I broach this without offending him?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’ve gone from one extreme to another. My previous partner used to take so long to orgasm during intercourse, I’d be practically asleep. With my new boyfriend, it’s over within two minutes. I really like him and want to make this work. I don’t want him to go on for hours but 10 or so minutes would be good. How can I help him last longer?

2) I have been cheated on all my life and I don’t think I will survive if another man does it to me. I am obviously crap at choosing partners. I want to know if there is a way to reduce my chances of it happening again. Are there things I can look for that hint that someone is likely to be unfaithful?

3) I’m an inexperienced 24 year old straight woman and new into a relationship with a guy I really like. I’ve deliberately put off having sex with him because I want it to be awesome. Do you have any tips on how to impress him and things I shouldn’t do?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m having an affair and ironically, sex with my husband has never been better. It’s confusing me. I was all set to leave, but now I’m not sure. We were stuck in a rut for years and nothing seemed to make a difference, but now I can feel new life breathing into the marriage. The question is: Is it going to last?

2) My new boyfriend is enthusiastic about giving me oral sex but he clearly has no clue where my clitoris is. He licks about one inch down from where it is. I’ve tried pulling him up and into the right position, but he just slides himself back down to where he was. In fairness to him, previous partners have told me my clitoris is smaller than usual. But it’s still frustrating!

3) Kelsey, this question is for you because you are also a widow. My much-loved husband died unexpectedly two years ago and I have finally emerged from the hell that is intense grieving. I still miss him terribly but I am only 52 and realise I still have a life ahead of me. I feel ready for some fun and casual relationships but I fear my adult children are not ready for this. How do I make myself happy without upsetting them? I miss sex and all that goes with it! I am also nervous that when I do first have sex, I will end up feeling guilty and like I am betraying my husband. Did you experience this?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) My husband has been watching porn of women ‘squirting’ on men. He’s incredibly turned on by the idea of it all and wants me to squirt on him. Are these videos even real? Is female ejaculation possible; and, if so, how could I make myself do it?

2) I’ve just separated from my husband and have been ostracized by my friends because I had an affair. We are the first in our group of friends to divorce and I think it’s made everyone nervous. Of course, I’m the bad person because I had the affair, but my husband and I hadn’t had sex for four years. I tried over and over to talk to him and let him know I wasn’t happy but he wouldn’t listen. We’re young (I’m late 30s, he’s early 40s) and I don’t want to live a life without sex. I don’t want to tell our friends the real story because it would embarrass him but I’m also sick and tired of being blamed for the whole thing. What should I do?

3) I want to buy something for my wife for her birthday that will improve our sex life, but not cause her to feel awkward. She’s quite conservative sexually, though was up for anything at the start. It’s hard for men to know what’s welcome and what’s going to offend. With lingerie, for instance, do you buy her true size or a size smaller if she thinks she’s fat (and she can change it later?)

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m 38 and have finally met a nice guy. I really like him, but the sex is average at best. We’ve only been seeing each other for two months and the sex is like the sex you have two years in. It’s okay, but the lust and spark isn’t there. Is this something you can fix?

2) My new boyfriend’s penis is bent, a bit like a banana. Is this anything to worry about? He doesn’t seem worried by it, and it’s not affecting his performance.

3) I’m newly divorced after the dullest marriage in history. I’m 48 and finally free to be able to explore the world and sex. I have no intention of settling down with anyone for a very long time, but a friend I have always found hot (he’s single) has a proposition. He wants us to be friends with benefits. What’s your view on this? He’s not a close friend so if it all went wrong and I lost a friend, I wouldn’t be too worried.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m a 36-year-old straight woman and just broke up with my ex. Something that always bothered my ex was that we didn’t have an orgasm at the same time. I learned to fake it to avoid him getting annoyed or upset if we didn’t ‘come together’ during intercourse, but I don’t want to do that anymore. All the men I’ve slept with seem to expect this will happen. I can’t be the only one not having simultaneous orgasms. How do I deal with this?

2) A married man I have always found very attractive has split from his wife. He’s a friend of a friend that I’ve met a few times at a party. I don’t know why they split up, but it happened about a month ago. My question is when is the right/acceptable time to make a move after a break up? I suspect he will be snapped up fast! My friend is more friendly with him than his wife and says she is happy to organize a way for us to meet again.

3) My partner and I have been together for 18 months and want to explore open relationships. We think of each other as our ‘rocks’ and the person to make long-term goals with, but want to explore other sexual relationships. We both know it will take constant and consistent communication. But what are some other rules and boundaries that will help us find the right fit without it affecting our relationship in a negative way? Neither of us have tried this before but we are both quite excited about it.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m 36 and have been married for nine years. I’m sick to death of being pestered for sex by my husband. He wants sex all the time and gets angry or sulks when I don’t give in. I’ve tried telling him that being hassled makes me want sex less, not more, but he doesn’t listen. Our sex is okay, but it’s always about his pleasure. We have sex about four times a week which is more than enough for me. How can I stop him behaving like this?

2) I’m intrigued by anal play but haven’t a clue where to start, how to suggest it to my partner, or what to do. Also, how do I make it clear to him that this doesn’t mean I want anal intercourse? My boyfriend is keen to try that, but I'm not. A friend did it and said it really hurt. Any tips?

3) I am 16 years old and have never done anything — not a first kiss, no talking to guys, and I've never been in a relationship. I'm wondering, how I am supposed to manage in the future with no experience? Do you guys have tips on how to stop comparing myself to other girls that have had sex or are in relationships and for me not to feel like an outcast?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m a woman in my early thirties and I don’t get wet either during masturbation or sex (but I do have orgasms easily). It has always been like that. I’ve tried lubes, creams, dietary supplements, even hormones, but nothing's changed. I’ve talked to different doctors and everything is fine medically with me. I didn’t talk to my boyfriend about my problem at the start because I feel so terribly ashamed about it. Instead, I secretly put some lube on and in my vagina before we had sex. I didn’t want him to feel that I am always dry — I was scared he would take it personally or think I’m not normal. More than a year later, I’m still doing this. If I think we’re going to have sex, I tell him I need to go to the toilet or invent other excuse so I can apply some lube. It’s very stressful! I don't want to hide this secret anymore but I feel trapped. Should I confess what I’ve been doing, every single time we've had sex? I think that he’d be completely okay with it, but I don’t want to stop using lube because I don’t want to be touched when I am dry. It doesn’t make me feel feminine at all and I AM worried what he will think…

2) We’ve been married for 12 years and both of us are bored stupid with our sex life. My wife is keen for us to act out our sexual fantasies to shake things up, but I’m worried this might backfire. She’s enthusiastic after a few drinks and wants to try everything; but, the next day, stone-cold sober, gets cold feet. Is there a way to get our kicks without her waking up regretful or it causing real problems between us?

3) I’ve been with my partner for 20 years and we’re really happy. Or at least I thought we were. About two months ago, we were both talking about things we wish we’d done in our lives and things we regret; and, out of the blue, my partner confessed he’d had a brief affair with one of my friends 10 years ago. It was very strange – it was almost like he was boasting about it. that I should be impressed that my friend hit on him. It’s thrown me completely and I am questioning everything. I’m not friends with the woman anymore but how do I live with this? 

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.