In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) Why can’t my husband change the way he approaches me for sex? He gives me this look that makes me want to run away…it’s primal, and it doesn’t feel good. I want him to start by just holding me and listening to me, but he says that isn’t what he wants at that time. Please help us with our communication!

2) I’d love to know what you think of my situation. I’ve been with my partner for five years. We’re a straight couple and in our late 30s. It took me a long time to find a partner, and I worry that I compromised too much in the end. We get on okay, but I don’t feel passionate about him and I worry I am with him because it’s lonely being single. Our relationship seems based more on friendship than love.

3) You’ve talked a lot about women going off sex on this podcast, but I have the opposite issue. My long-term partner has completely lost interest in me sexually and we haven’t had sex for three years. When I try to talk about it, he looks embarrassed and fobs me off and says he doesn’t want to talk about it. I am in my late 40s and keep myself looking good. I feel humiliated that he doesn’t find me sexually attractive anymore. All my other friends have husbands who hassle them for sex and I can’t get mine to look at me naked.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I am having an emotional affair with one of my co-workers. I’ve been married for almost 10 years, and although I know this isn’t right, it’s making me feel alive again. Every part of me wants to sleep with this man, but I don’t want to hurt my husband’s feelings and I don’t want it to ruin my marriage. But, I have a deep desire to have this experience. What is your advice? It seems like both choices will hurt.

2) I’m dating a man with a small penis. It’s not a problem for me because intercourse is my least favorite thing about sex, and I orgasm easily through oral sex. But I can tell he’s paranoid about it and it’s making me feel uncomfortable. It’s the elephant in the room. I think he’s desperate to talk about it, but I’m not sure how to broach the topic. I can’t just say, ‘Hey, so your penis is really small. Do you want to talk about that?’

3) I enjoy having sex, but not without having a glass of wine or cocktail before. I used to be able to get in the mood, but now I need to be a bit tipsy. Is this okay?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) Tracey, you often talk about masturbation as something everyone should do, especially women. I’ve never done it, and have never seen the point. I asked my partner if he masturbates, and he said why would he need to when we have sex together? I get why you might want to do it if you’re single, but why would you do it if you’re in a relationship?

2) I’ve been married 8 years and with my husband for 14. We met at work. We know some of each other’s sexual history: numbers have been shared and they are similar. My husband knows I had a threesome and who with (thanks to my big-mouth friend). He hasn’t mentioned it since (this was disclosed very early in our relationship). What he doesn’t know is that I had another threesome with work colleagues long before he started at the company. It was so long ago and I don’t want it to cause issues, but is not telling him lying? There was also someone I slept with—again before he started at the company—who is an acquaintance. It's been bothering me for years. Is keeping quiet about all this the wrong or right thing to do?

3) I fear I am asking this question on behalf of all men: how can I get my wife to want sex more often with me? We used to have it far more frequently but now she always has an excuse not to do it. I feel like I’m constantly hassling her and that makes me feel bad. We’ve been married for 27 years and I want to stay married—but I also need sex. Help!

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I have lost all desire to have sex: my libido has completely disappeared. I don’t want to have sex with my partner, I don’t masturbate, I don’t feel anything when I do attempt to have sex with him. I’m only 42. This isn’t a sudden thing, desire just gently slipped away. What’s wrong with me and what can be done to fix it?

2) My new boyfriend is too loud in bed. He’s loud out of it as well, but that’s not the problem. It’s not just when he orgasms either. He grunts and ‘oofs’ and talks and moans through. When he climaxes, I swear the neighbors stop and ask each other, ‘What the hell was that?’. I don’t care what the neighbors think but it’s off-putting. I am fascinated by why he makes so much noise and wonder how much of it is real and how much of it is for show. I don’t like to ask because it seems rude.

3) I got herpes when I was very young: about 24. For years, I had awful attacks but then it disappeared. For about ten years, nothing! When I met my partner of five years, I didn’t even think about it. But then the outbreaks started again, and it’s become a real problem. I should have just told him the minute it happened, but I felt ashamed. That was two years ago. I avoid sex when I have an attack but it’s difficult and stressful. What should I do?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I grew up with religious parents and I’ve had it drummed into me from a very early age that sex is for procreation, not recreation: You do it to have kids and not for pleasure. I am now married to a man who isn’t religious and who has taught me that sex is something adults enjoy. I know intellectually that he's right, but it’s like my body hasn’t caught up with me. I still find it very difficult to relax and enjoy the experience. Can you help?

2) I'm 29 and have had a pretty mild sex life with few relationships and hookups before my current 3 year relationship. My partner and I keep it very basic, and I'm fine with that for the most part. We do not talk about our sexual past and my partner has said he doesn't want to know anything about mine. The thing is, I once had a one-night stand with a man who did some light choking; and, to my surprise, I liked it. How can I tell my current partner to try something I think I like without admitting to having tried it before with someone else?

3) What’s your view on casual sex? I’ve just finished a serious relationship and I’m not eager to rush into another one. He was my childhood sweetheart and I don’t have much experience with sex. But I do know I love it and am keen to explore a little while I’m single. I’m 26. 

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’ve always wanted to visit a high-end sex club and now that my relationship has finished, it's a good time to do it. The thing is, I have no clue where to start to find one? I don’t want anywhere tacky or sleazy. I’m a straight woman; though, I do confess—I’m a little bi-curious.

2) I’ve just married a man I’ve been with 5 years. We have pretty decent sex, but I worry that it’s not spontaneous. We do it once or twice a week on roughly the same days. Is it a bad sign that we aren’t overcome with lust at other times?

3) Since my daughter was born, I’ve gone off sex altogether. I still enjoy cuddling, but when my partner tries to take it further, I end up pushing him away. I can tell he’s getting frustrated with me, although he’d never say anything. I used to enjoy sex. What’s gone wrong?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) This is a very personal question that’s highly embarrassing. When I have sex with my partner, wind comes out of my vagina. The first time it happened I was mortified but my partner just kept pumping away and didn’t mention it. It happens on a regular basis and destroys the mood for me though he doesn’t seem to care. How can I stop this happening?

2) I’m 36 and I’ve stopped counting the number of relationships I’ve had. I know I need to settle because I want to have children, but I get bored so easily with sex. I can’t get enough of them at the start but, after two or three months, sex begins to repulse me. It’s like someone’s turned off a switch. This is more than just the honeymoon period wearing off. It happens so fast and so dramatically. I feel like something else is going on.

3) Is anal intercourse pleasurable for women or do you just do it because men like it? My ex was really into it but my current gf isn’t a fan and says she was just pretending to like it.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) My partner always falls out when we have sex. It’s frustrating and interrupts the flow. Is there a reason why this is happening and how do we stop it?

2) My boyfriend thinks he’s great in bed – he told me right at the start that all his exes say he’s the best lover they’ve ever had. He’s a nice man otherwise and has a good sense of humour so I thought he was just boasting in a joking way. I was wrong. He takes himself very seriously in bed and when sex is over, it’s clear he’s waiting for me to compliment him. He’s an okay lover, but certainly not the best I’VE had! We’ve only been together a few weeks but when I asked if he could do something gentler, he got very offended. How do I get him to do the things I like in bed without bruising that fragile ego?

3) I’m a 43 year old woman and I’m considering a relationship with a man 20 years older than me. I know there will be issues ahead, especially if we stay together and he’s 83 and I’m 63. But I have never been this attracted to someone and he ticks so many boxes that I’m willing to take a chance. What worries me is sex. I enjoy sex and it’s very important to me. He reassures me that he’ll be just as into it as he is now in years to come, and just as capable of getting erections, but is that true?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) Why is it that I can orgasm easily on my own (using my fingers or a vibrator) but have never had an orgasm with a partner? So many boyfriends have said, ‘Oh, but you’ve never had sex with ME!”, convinced they will be the one to make it happen. But it never does. I came close with my ex whose technique was excellent, but still couldn’t tip over the edge.

2) I am a guy in my early 40s. My partner of 20 years passed away two years ago and I’m thinking of entering the dating game. I’m a very hairy guy—chest and back hair, and a trimmed beard. My previous partner didn’t mind and said she liked it. Are there still women out there who like hairy men? Or is that not a thing anymore? I am happy to trim the hair—and I do—but I don’t want to wax or shave. How do I handle this on a date? Should I come right out and say I’m hairy before we have sex? Or should I try a more subtle approach?

3) I’d like your advice on whether I should separate from my husband or not. We’ve been together 12 years—the first half really happy, the second half not so much. We have a daughter who is 6 years old. Our main problem is we argue constantly about the same things without ever finding solutions. How to parent, money—all the usual things. Sex stopped when my daughter arrived and has never really kicked off since then. My husband feels like my adversary, not someone who loves me, and I dream of being free of the stress of fighting. I’m worn down. But I also have friends who regret leaving their marriages, so I don't want to jump ship if it’s going to be even worse as a single mother.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) Don’t give me a hard time because it sounds boring; but, missionary is my favorite position—it just works for us. Can you suggest some ways to mix it up a little to keep things interesting?

2) I’ve been married for 25 years and love my husband, but my self-confidence has taken a dive. Five years ago, my husband became very close friends with a new (and beautiful) co-worker. This was the first time I had to deal with him having a close female friend. I also noticed he was following a ton of Instagram models/porn accounts. I have no problem with him watching porn, but I worry that he is interacting online with women, which I feel crosses the line. He is very possessive of his phone. I am constantly comparing myself to porn models and feeling like I don’t measure up. I am trying to get myself into shape by losing 25 pounds to see if that helps boost my confidence. I do know he loves me, so how can I let go of the suspicions that he’s engaging with women online?

3) I’m absolutely convinced my boyfriend of two years fakes his orgasms. He goes through the motions—thrusts harder, makes noise, and then stops—but there’s no semen on the sheets or when I go to the loo. Why would he do this? It doesn’t happen all the time, but quite often. 

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.