Single Minded

Today I am joined by psychologist Nancy Sokarno, also known as Psych With Sokz. The questions we answer on this episode: 

• How has the pandemic changed our relationship with being alone?
• A follower sent me the following, "One of the positives of lockdown was we were put in a meditative state - where we got time to think and decide which way we want to grow."  Do you think the alone time was overall a positive or negative experience for people or does it depend on the person? Will people emerge with new ideas on life? 
• You've previously said,  “Being alone also often allows you to make better decisions because you aren’t persuaded by outside influence." Can you explain why?
• Are there other benefits of being alone? Are there benefits of doing things outside of your comfort zone alone eg. travel?
• Do some people prefer to be single & alone than be in a coupled-up, long-term relationship?

Nancy's website: https://www.psychwithsokz.com/
Nancy's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychwithsokz/

Today I am joined by Jess Matthews, also colloquially known as “The Boy Detox”. The questions we answer on this episode: 

• You fell in love with your best friend - I'd love to hear this story! Why did you break up? Are you dating now?
• A lot of people are looking for that "instant spark" - what are your thoughts on this? Do we need to let go of instant sexual chemistry and focus on building a genuine connection instead?
• You mentioned to me that falling in love with a best friend shifts the dynamic, especially when it comes to sexual intimacy - can you talk me through this shift?
• Do you think it's worth being more open minded and patient when dating? I'm usually like "no" if there's no physical chemistry instantly. But more recently I decided to keep pursuing someone I wasn't sure about and thought, "Nah, there's nothing here," but then we kissed and it was total fireworks. 
• How many dates do you think you need to give someone before writing them off? What needs to be there at a bare minimum to keep getting to know them?
• What are your thoughts on building a connection first before getting physical? I think it's really nice. I had a guy follower mention that he had tried this with a girl and it didn't go well - he wanted to wait to get to know her before having sex. 

Jess' website: https://www.theboydetox.com/
Jess' Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theboydetox/

The questions we answer on this episode: 

• We hear the word "vulnerability" thrown around a lot. What does it mean?
• What is vulnerability not? 
• Why is being vulnerable and open important to forming deep & fulfilling connections?
• When we're dating, why do some people stay in the "safe" zone and find it hard to delve deeper than the surface level conversations? I've experienced "the wall" when dating and you never get any deeper and it fizzles out.
• It's like the chicken or the egg... it's hard to form a connection without being vulnerable.. But then it's hard to know who you can trust, especially when you're getting to know a new person. How do you balance these two things?
• Do you think people that struggle with vulnerability weren't taught how to express their feelings as children? How can you learn these skills in adulthood? Are there ways to practice being vulnerable in non-dating settings?
• Resources you suggest for people interested in learning about vulnerability

Find out more about Vanessa here: https://www.vanessastaubpsychology.com/

Shani Silver is back to discuss self-publishing her new book A Single Revolution! You can purchase her book here: https://www.amazon.com.au/Single-Revolution-Dont-match-Light-ebook/dp/B09HZ1TBX7/

The questions we answer on this episode: 

• It's been a while since we chatted - what's been happening in your life? 
• I read your medium article about not getting a book deal & instead self-publishing. You open with, " Obviously it’s an ego thing. The book deal. The big advance. The status, the validity, the ability to show the world that a publisher wanted you.  And then you never get any of those things, despite years (and years) of trying." - can you talk me through the process of publishing your book A Single Revolution?
• What is your book about? Who would it be useful for?
• You write about rejection a lot - something that's common for writers - do you have any advice for people in dealing with rejection? 
• The main message I get from your content is, "Don't wait for your life to happen." Whether that's meeting a partner or getting a book deal. Why is this message so important to you? Do you have practical tips for people that are stuck waiting for life to happen to them? 
• I have a lot of people on Instagram asking me for writing advice, or just generally how to be more creative. I've gotten so much out of your medium articles about self-publishing and not waiting for editor's to respond to your pitches. It's one of the reasons I write on Medium now as opposed to pitching. What is your advice for people wanting to take more control of their creative pursuits?

Find Shani on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/shanisilver/

Today we're talking about flags - how to spot them in others, but also how to spot them in yourself. 

The questions we answer on this episode: 

• How do you spot red flags? Can you give some examples 
• Do you attract where you are in your life? I've noticed this myself (attracting red flags because I was exhibiting those same red flags) 
• What is a "green flag?" 
• How do you spot a green flag? Can you give examples?
• You do a lot of work on mindset - is the biggest issue with online dating a mindset thing?
• Is it important to date by your values, as opposed to just physical attraction? How would a listener figure out their values? How do they know if they're going to be aligned?

You can find Megan on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/meganluscombe_/

The Budget Bachelorette is back for another episode! Emmy Pens is joining me again to chat our top dating tips. 

Remember... 
A first date is not an interview.
It’s not a performance.
It’s not a test. ⁣
A first date is an experience.⁣

(via Dr Alexandra H. Solomon).

Follow Emmy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emmypens/

On today's episode, I'm joined with fellow single gal and podcaster Rav Randhawa to talk about societal pressure to get married (and what happens when it doesn't work out). 

The questions we answer on this episode: 

• You've spoken about your family putting pressure on you to settle down and follow that traditional path - tell me about your upbringing and how that pressure manifested? 
• You got married quite young - what happened? 
• You got "ghosted" by your husband - can you take us through that story?
• Did you feel relief when the marriage ended? How did you heal? Have you done any personal development?
• How has dating been as a divorcee in your early 30s? 

Follow me on Instagram for more dating stories: https://www.instagram.com/hannahfurst/

Rav's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ravkr_
Fight Like A Girl Podcast: https://linktr.ee/flikeagirl

On today's episode, I am taking you through my egg freezing journey and the entire process from start to finish. 

The questions I answer on this episode:

• Why did you want to get your eggs frozen? You've been talking about it for years now. 
• Take us through the process from day 1 to the actual freezing?
• How many eggs did you get? Is this a good result?
• How did you feel after? How are you feeling now that you've got your period?
• What happens now? 
• What do you recommend for someone that is where you were a few years ago?
• Why did you choose to freeze your eggs at Women's Health Melbourne & Dr Raelia Lew?

You can also follow my egg freezing journey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannahfurst/

A big thank you to Women's Health Melbourne, Dr Raelia Lew & Melbourne IVF for sponsoring my egg freezing journey.
WHM Website: https://www.womenshealthmelbourne.com.au/
Raelia's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drraelialew/
Knocked Up Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/knocked-up-the-podcast-about-fertility-and-womens-health/id1381363197

On the outside, Rebekah Campbell had an amazing life... She was an entrepreneur living in Sydney. But on the inside, she was lonely and wanted love and a family. When she realised she hadn't been on a date in 10 years, she decided to apply the tactics she'd learnt building companies to find a partner. She went on dates with 138 different men and wrote a book about it. She faced humiliation, rejection and heartbreak.... But there was a happy ending!

Buy the book: https://www.booktopia.com.au/138-dates-rebekah-campbell/book/9781988547848.html
Website: https://rebekahcampbell.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rebekahcampbellwriter/

Joanna Fleming is back by popular demand!! We cover A LOT... Would you rathers, marry/fuck/kill, dealing with flaky guys, our best and worst dates... the list goes on!

You can find Jo on the gram: @joannafleming