Single Minded

We don't talk a lot about The Business World on this podcast, but after reading Erika's blog posts about building her brand, I just knew I had to interview her!! Here's an excerpt:  "I was involved two businesses/brands that grew quickly and warped my idea of reality when it came to status, wealth, success, and values. 5 years in, I chose to leave a brand that just announced a 100 million dollar valuation, and start again. I too, sometimes wonder if I’m crazy."

The questions we answer on this episode: 

• I'd love to hear about your business journey - from leaving your previous startup to creating your own brand, Fluff
• Watching you from the outside, I see you as following your own path in life; it's like you just want to live your most authentic life. Am I reading that right? 
• You run a very values-driven business, and you've written about how tough it can be in a world driven by profits. Why was it important for you to do this? What are the pros and cons of doing this?
• We've both been in the beauty industry for a little while, but your approach to beauty at Fluff is quite unique. Can you tell me about Fluff's approach to beauty?
• You've written that you're not where your friends are (marriage, babies, houses). I'm not either! How do you feel about that? 
• Has your definition of "success" changed with age?
• And what's next for you in life and business? 

Discover Fluff: https://www.itsallfluff.com
Follow Erika on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/erikageraerts
Erika's Medium blog: https://erikaisfluff.medium.com/

IT'S OUR 69TH EPISODE!! So that calls for an episode about s.e.x. 

Today I'm joined by sex coach Georgia Grace to answer your questions on libido. 

The questions we answer on this episode: 

• What actually is libido?
• This was actually a listener-requested episode - someone wrote in and wanted this topic covered: "Guys who have a low sex drive... It's really common." Is it a myth that all men have high libidos? Is it a myth that women have lower libidos?
• Does your libido go up and down? Are there people who naturally have a higher sex drive?
• Why do people joke that married people or people in long-term relationships stop having sex? Is there some truth to that?
• Can couples get the "spark" of the honeymoon period back? What tips do you have?
• If a couple has a mismatched libido and it's causing them stress, what can they do?
• Finally, another listener question: "How do I bring more spice to the bedroom without upsetting my partner. Together 10 years"

You can find Georgia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gspot._/

I want to tell you a story...

A few years ago I discovered a box of my great-great aunt's love letters. They were written by a Danish ship captain. The letters spanned a 13-year period. 13 years!!! Imagine persisting with someone on a dating app for 13 years? You’re lucky if you get a 0.13-second glance.

In one letter he wrote: If only you and I could meet there, it would be vonderful.

Aren’t love letters just vonderful? Ugh... let's bring them back!

So, this episode is all about old-school romance. I'm joined by a special guest who tells the most magical story, and I hope it offers some inspiration to rediscover an old-school kind of romance from the days before dating apps. 

You can read the article mentioned in the podcast here: https://medium.com/hello-love/magic-happens-just-not-on-dating-apps-3714d4ef8ea7?sk=b9c36f5ad176117c21ba310407f0567e

Someone recently messaged me saying, "I'm in a complete life rut at 29… single, which I never thought would bother me but I feel very lonely." 

She asked, "Where’s the real shit?" She said a lot of the content out there is all about finding yourself and loving yourself, but that’s not very practical and it doesn’t really solve the problem. 

So let's get to the real shit... The questions we answer on today's episode: 

• What is loneliness? What does it feel like?
• What are the stats on loneliness? 
• What's my experience with loneliness?
• And how I survived feeling lonely while single?

Dee Salmin is the host of Triple J's The Hookup podcast, and she recently wrote this article about why hot, successful women aren't getting any matches on dating apps: https://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/why-you-might-not-be-getting-matches/13901508

AND SO I HAD TO ASK WHY! So we sat down to get to the bottom of it. 

You can find Dee on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/dee.salmin

Before we get into this week's episode... WE'RE ON PATREON! We'll be releasing bonus episodes on the Single Minded Private Podcast every fortnight. You can also leave us a very much appreciated tip to help us continue to produce free episodes. Sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/singleminded

Someone sent me a message on Insta recently saying that I was glowing... And I said it was because I was "happily unmarried". It caused quite the stir! So this week, I'll be unpacking why I'm so happy being unmarried with my friend Rav (who is happily divorced). I start by giving Rav a history lesson on marriage, and then we answer the following questions: 

• What advice would we give to our younger selves about marriage?
• How do we feel about being in our 30s and unmarried?
• Are there any feelings of disappointment about not being married? 
• Do Instagram wedding photos ever make us feel like we're missing out?
• Do we think it's better to wait to get married?

Rav's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ravkr_/
Rav's podcast: https://linktr.ee/flikeagirl

If you're over hookup culture and want to build a deeper connection with someone, this is the episode for you! Today I chat with Love & Relationship Expert, Dr Lurve about how to sloooow down with dating so that you can build a connection first. 

The questions we answer in this episode: 

• What are the pros & cons of modern dating (dating apps in particular)?
• It seems that dating has become a bit of a numbers game - should we be looking at quality over quantity? 
• What is the "slow dating" trend?
• Is "slow dating" the antidote to hookup culture?
• There are a lot of dating rules (who pays, when it's appropriate to sleep with someone, etc). I recently dated someone at a much slower pace and felt the connection was a lot stronger by the time we did sleep together. Do you think we all need to just slow down & get to know each other first?
• What would be your top tips for slow dating? Is boundary-setting important? Do you need to be honest upfront that you're going to be spending more time getting to know the other person?
• What are your dating predictions for the future?

You can follow Dr Lurve on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/dr.lurve/
Dr Lurve's website:  https://www.drlurve.com/
Dr Lurve's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/between-the-sheets-with-dr-lurve/id1480610277

I'm joined this week by comedian and podcaster Bianka to chat about the sexual awakening she had when she got sober 3 years ago.

We also touch on ethical non-monogamy, sober dating, being lovesick, and embracing those first-date nerves. 

Bianka's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/biankaismailovski/
Bianka's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/damsel-undistressed/id1535867660

I've always wondered how I'll explain my "existential night terrors" to my future life partner. As someone that suffers from death anxiety, I briefly spoke about it on an episode & had an outpouring of DMs from people who feel the same.

So I chatted to Dr Rachel Menzies who is a clinical psychologist based in Sydney about how to manage death anxiety. She specialises in treating fears of death, anxiety and depression using CBT.

Her website: https://rachelmenzies.com/
Her book: https://www.booktopia.com.au/mortals-ross-menzies/book/9781760879167.html

Meeting IRL... A thing of the past? Well not for the listeners who sent in their stories of how they met their partner IRL. 

Linda and I are summarising all the ways to meet someone IRL, but also some tips for striking up a conversation, without feeling the pressure to be flirty.