Situationship to Soulmate

Have you ever considered how alcohol affects your dating experiences? Join me as I sit down with Julia, @that1soberfriend on TikTok and Instagram, for a revealing conversation on navigating dating and drinking in your 20s.

We get honest about how we used to rely on alcohol to mask insecurities and lack of confidence, and how this habit can steer us towards wasted time, energy, and missed red flags. Hear our personal stories of how alcohol played a role in preventing us from being our unfiltered selves and finding authentic connections for many years. We challenge the notion that first dates should be alcohol-centric, and instead suggest a shift towards discovering chemistry, connection, and intimacy with a completely clear mind. We underline the significance of embracing awkwardness and discomfort in dating, and that feeling awkward on a first date is completely normal and doesn't have to be avoided. We question the idea of using alcohol as a confidence booster, and shed light on how this can actually be a sign of insecurity. The episode concludes with a contemplation on dating and sobriety, championing the idea that stepping out of our comfort zones can open doors to authentic relationships and personal growth. Tune in for an enlightening dialogue that promises to redefine your perspective on the connection between dating and alcohol.

Follow Julia @that1soberfriend on TikTok and Instagram
Listen to Julia's podcast: "The Young, Fun, And Sober Podcast"

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

Welcome to the Situationship to Soulmate podcast, your guide to navigating the complicated world of dating, relationships, and sex in your 20s. 

In today's episode I bring on my very first guest....my boyfriend Colin! As an interracial couple, we had to overcome both of our own preconceived notions and stereotypes about the idea of dating outside our own race, as well as push past the judgement and ignorance that is still alive in our society today.  We've chosen to use our experiences from our 2 year relationship to spark important dialogues about race and relationships. Join us as we unveil real experiences of navigating the nuanced world of interracial dating and general misconceptions we've had to confront.

The evolution of our relationship has been quite a learning curve. From understanding the concept of white privilege and its implications on our relationship to navigating cultural differences, we've grown tremendously. Hear how we deal with differences in food preferences and communication styles, and how our relationship has become more natural over time. This is a candid conversation about love, race, privilege, and the constant journey towards understanding and acceptance. Join us for this intimate conversation and gain insights into the often overlooked dynamics of interracial relationships.

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

Struggling with setting boundaries in your relationships? You're not alone. I've been on this challenging journey myself, and I'm ready to share my personal experiences and lessons learned. We'll dive into the pivotal insights from Nedra Glover Tawab's book, "Set Boundaries, Find Peace," and discuss how these principles have been instrumental in understanding and addressing boundary issues in my own life, and could be for you too. We'll also examine the telltale signs that indicate you need to better define your boundaries - from feeling overwhelmed and resentful to avoiding interactions with people who might ask for help.

We often find ourselves saying 'sorry' after setting a boundary, but it's crucial to remember that you're not doing anything wrong by taking care of your mental and emotional wellbeing. We'll navigate through these exercises together to ensure you are confident in setting, maintaining, and respecting your own boundaries in relationships or situationshipships. These are necessary steps you can take to ensure you feel safe and comfortable. 

Remember, prioritizing yourself is NOT SELFISH! 

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

In this episode I'm tackling the popular and often controversial topic of men and women being "just friends." You've heard the idea that it's a "red flag" if he has a "girl best friend" or if he has a lot of female friendships. But is that idea actually based in reality or in your own insecurities or lack of trust in your relationship? 

I share how I navigated through my own insecurities and doubts when I started dating my boyfriend, who has many platonic friendships with women. This involved challenging the societal norms and notions that men are unable to view women as anything other than sexual or romantic prospects. We'll also explore the realms of platonic friendships between men and women, emphasizing the importance of trust both in your relationship and also trust in your intuition. We will candidly delve into how our past experiences can influence the way we perceive friendship, and discuss the heteronormative and gender-focused aspects of these ideas. So, buckle up, and let's bust these myths together, as we try to navigate the convoluted world of gender stereotypes, toxic masculinity, relationships, and friendships.

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

Welcome to the Situationship to Soulmate podcast, your guide to navigating the complicated world of dating in your 20s.

Have you ever stopped to question if Hookup Culture is truly fulfilling your deepest needs and desires? In this episode, I examine the evolution of hookup culture and its profound impact on our relationships, self-esteem, and personal boundaries. This episode includes  a deep dive into the history of this cultural phenomenon, its evolution, and my personal experiences. Through this exploration, we navigate through compelling research findings that indicate Gen Zers are having less sex than previous generations - is it possible they're not finding fulfillment in the current sexual climate? 

I share my candid college experiences from 2011-2015, shedding light on the pressures women face in the dating scene and the harmful notion of 'playing it cool'. We'll explore how this conformity can lead to toxicity, loneliness, and unmet needs. Shifting gears, we'll delve into the emotional toll hookup culture imposes, focusing on its effects on self-esteem and personal boundaries. By looking back at my personal journey for validation, my hope is to prompt you to assess if hookup culture is serving your emotional and psychological needs. Let's challenge the status quo, acknowledge our boundaries, and ensure we prioritize our needs in our dating and sexual experiences.

This episode includes quotes and stats from the following article by The Cut:
https://www.thecut.com/2022/02/hook-up-culture-celibacy-tiktok.html

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

Welcome to the Situationship to Soulmate podcast, your guide to navigating the complicated world of dating in your 20s.

In today's episode we tackle one of the biggest relationship questions: Do soulmates exist? What is the definition of a soulmate? What makes a relationship "perfect"? Are there any downsides to believing in the idea of soulmates?

Shelly talks about her personal opinions and experiences with dating and relationships in her 20s, on her quest to find "The One." She shares her personal definition of "soulmate" and why she considers her boyfriend to be her soulmate.

Articles Referenced in this Episode:

Why people still believe in the 'soulmate myth' https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220204-why-people-still-believe-in-the-soulmate-myth
“The soulmate myth promises that amidst the dizzying and often confusing landscape of dating apps there is one match out there that will make sense of it all. It promises an anchor to modern life that many find appealing.”

The Perfect Relationship
https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-perfect-relationship/  
"True 'perfect' love isn’t without flaws, just as life isn’t without constant mistakes and learning." 

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

Welcome to the Situationship to Soulmate podcast, your guide to navigating the complicated world of dating in your 20s.

I thought it would be fitting to begin this podcast with an episode all about situationships: the murky grey area between a casual hookup and a committed relationship. It’s something I struggled with throughout my 20s, and seemed to always put myself back into, even though I knew deep down I wanted a “real” relationship. If you can relate, you'll want to listen to this episode!

In this episode I open up about three situationships I experienced, what I learned from them, and share tough questions you can ask yourself if you feel stuck in the situationship cycle.

3 tough questions to ask yourself: 

1. Are you ACTUALLY ready for, and available for, a relationship? Could you be attracted to unavailable people because you yourself are not truly available? 
2. Are there parts of yourself you feel you cannot ever show someone else? Things about you, or your past, that you feel ashamed of? 
3. Is there something you are punishing yourself for? Something you haven’t yet forgiven yourself for? This could be keeping you stuck in this idea that you are not worthy of a loving, healthy relationship, and part of your “punishment” is hurting yourself through choosing people who will hurt you. 

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate