Navigating the world of dating and relationships as a sexual assault survivor presents unique challenges and opportunities for growth. In this episode, Shelly shares how her best advice for navigating dating and intimacy for those of you who have experienced sexual assault. She describes how to tell the difference between intuition and anxiety, explores the benefits of being single for healing, and how to recognize the difference between feelings rooted in past trauma versus present-day awareness. 

Shelly also speaks on how acknowledging and accepting the sexual assault survivor part of ourselves is crucial for genuine self-expression and healing, as well as for building healthy relationships and intimacy. From the complexities of sexual relationships to the importance of quiet moments in fostering intuition, this episode provides a thoughtful approach to embracing all parts of your identity as a sexual assault survivor, and gives tangible tips and advice. 

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

This episode covers all of my most frequently asked questions around how to prevent pregnancy. Especially with the results of the election, I know a lot of you are scared. In this episode I aim to empower you with knowledge in order to help you reduce anxiety and enhance your confidence as you manage your reproductive health.

This episode covers the following FAQs I receive as a sex educator on TikTok: 

1. Effectiveness of condoms and why you should be using them
2. Pros and cons of the other main forms of birth control: IUD, the pill, the patch, and injection
3. Plan B facts and when you should or should not use it
4. How to track ovulation and know when you can and cannot get pregnant 
5. PMS symptoms vs pregnancy symptoms and common reasons for changes in your cycle

For more free resources on your menstrual cycle and preventing pregnancy, check out my eguides: 

• https://shamelesslyshelly.thinkific.com/products/digital_downloads/period-cycle-tracking-guide
• https://shamelesslyshelly.thinkific.com/products/digital_downloads/preventpregnancy

To talk to me privately about your pregnancy scare or questions, click the link below:
https://stan.store/shamelesslyshelly/p/ask-me-anything--i9njh

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

Ever wondered how understanding the menstrual cycle could be the secret key to unlocking the patterns in your mood, energy levels, and sex drive? This episode is your ultimate guide to decoding the four phases of the menstrual cycle and their profound effects on your daily life. From the low energy and low libido during the menstrual phase, to the peak energy and libido levels of ovulation, and the mood swings and low libido of the luteal phase, our menstrual cycle impacts intimacy in many ways. Drawing from personal experiences and professional insights as a therapist-in-training, Shelly demystifies how our hormonal changes impact relationships and sexual health.

Learn how heightened libido and increased lubrication during ovulation can spice up your intimate moments and why period sex might actually alleviate cramps. We also underscore the importance of communication with your partner, especially during the luteal phase, when PMS or PMDD could amplify anxiety and relationship doubts. Fluctuating libido is perfectly normal, and self-compassion is key. 

Want to learn more about your menstrual cycle and tracking your period and ovulation? Check out my free guide: https://shamelesslyshelly.thinkific.com/products/digital_downloads/period-cycle-tracking-guide

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

In this episode we dissect the psychological impacts of ghosting and breadcrumbing, and what you can do if you experience them. I walk you through the difference between ghosting and breadcrumbing in terms of mental health and implications on your dating life, and how you can find empowerment through boundaries and healthy communication. We also talk about how situationships often include breadcrumbing, and ways you can learn to stop attracting these types of people into your dating life. At the end of this episode I share journal prompts for you to use for self-reflection if you have been ghosted or bread-crumbed.

I draw inspiration and use quotes from the following articles in this episode:

https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/04/health/what-is-breadcrumbing-meaning-wellness/index.html

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/how-to-respond-to-breadcrumbing

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

“Codependency is a circular relationship in which one person needs the other person, who in turn, needs to be needed. The codependent person, known as ‘the giver,’ feels worthless unless they are needed by — and making sacrifices for — the enabler, otherwise known as ‘the taker.' — Dr Exelburg, Verywellmind

Do you often feel you are giving more than your partner in relationships? Do you find yourself walking on eggshells, always being the one who apologizes first, feeling sorry for the other person even when they hurt you, or struggling to find time for yourself? These are all signs of a codependent relationship! In this episode, Shelly covers the definition of codependency, what research shows about the potential causes of it, and advice for overcoming codependent tendencies. 

We talk about how situationships are often inherently codependent, with one person being the "giver" and the other the "taker." Shelly talks about experiences she's had in past situationships that felt codependent in hindsight. 

Some of the key tips for overcoming codependency we cover in this episode include: 

• Work on self-awareness and learning more about the patterns you have in relationships 
• Become the president of your own fan club
• Stand up for yourself and set boundaries 
• Take steps towards separation and independence 

Articles referenced in this episode:

• Codependency: How To Recognize The Signs
• What Is Codependency?

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

Have you recently been through a situationship ending? Or maybe you're reflecting on past situationships? Or you can feel that the situationship you're in now has run its course? This episode is all about navigating the "breakup".

Just because it wasn't a "real relationship" doesn't mean situationships aren't just as difficult, if not sometimes MORE difficult, to heal from after they end. In this episode, Shelly shares her personal stories from the 3 main situationships in her 20s, and how she dealt with the ending of them. She also shares do's and dont's for navigating the end of a situationship. 

Some highlights and tips from this episode include: 

• DONT try to stay friends 
• DO go no-contact
• Focus on hobbies and interests you haven't had time for
• Give yourself validation...situationship breakups SUCK! 

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

This week's episode includes special guests Rowan and Cal, both queer, non-binary and trans, and polyamorous. They share their personal relationship story which began while Rowan was married, and share the unique challenges they've had and discoveries they've made together throughout their relationship. 

We dive deeply into the complexities, misconceptions and societal views surrounding polyamorous and queer relationships and identities. We examine the dynamics in both monogamous and polyamorous relationships, and the importance of communication, consent, honesty, and trust in navigating any relationship structure. 

Rowan and Cal share their personal journeys with gender, sexuality, and relationship structures, their coming out processes, and how this relationship has helped them each to discover themselves in a deeper way. They offer invaluable insights into maintaining a relationship while undergoing personal transitions, and the need for understanding and support in our lives. Don't miss this enlightening conversation that not only challenges societal norms but also opens up new perspectives on love, identity, and relationships. 

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

Do you feel like you mask your true self, just to fit in? Are you feeling frustrated and hurt by your dating experiences, but aren't sure how to change them? Join me as I share why letting go of shame is the key to finding a happier, healthier life, and the key to finding your soulmate. I share my experiences from high school, college, and my twenties, and how a sense of shame shaped my relationships and self-image in a negative way. I also share how my recent ADHD diagnosis was the key that unlocked the understanding of why I felt the need to hide my authentic self. 

Transitioning from shame to empowerment, I'll recount how I harnessed the power of social media, personal development, and healing. Hear how I confronted my fears head on, creating a support group for sexual assault survivors and an online community to talk about consent and sexual health. I'll explain how I learned to let go of the need to please others, embraced authenticity, and found a partner who accepts me and loves me in a way I never knew was possible. This episode isn't just about my journey, but a beacon of hope and guidance for those going through similar experiences.

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

If you take one thing away from this episode, let it be this: PEOPLE CANNOT READ YOUR MIND!

Ever expect your partner to magically read your mind, only to be met with disappointment? You're not alone. Drawing from my personal experiences and advice from my own therapy sessions, this episode covers the importance of communication within relationships and why it's crucial to bravely express our feelings and needs, instead of expecting others to just know them. I talk about how fear of the other's reaction often causes us to hold back, leading to misunderstandings and resentment. I also explore how good communication forms the very foundation of a successful relationship, offering actionable steps to enhance your communication skills.

I share examples of effective and ineffective communication in relationships, and offer advice for how to  have better communication in your dating life, whether it's a longterm relationship or a situationship. Learn how to acknowledge and express your feelings effectively, stand up for your needs and transform your relationships through the power of good communication. 

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate

Are you scrolling through dating apps feeling frustrated, lost, or even hopeless? I've been there too. From my initial hesitance to dive into the app-based dating world to the frustrations that followed, I’ll be sharing it all in this episode. It wasn’t all swiping left, though - I’ve made genuine connections, including meeting a close friend through a dating app. But finding ways to represent myself authentically on the apps brought its fair share of frustrations.

In this episode I share my tips for making the most of your dating app experience, from figuring out what you're really looking for to displaying your authentic self, and even knowing when to take a step back and assess if it's all worth it. 

Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @shamelesslyshelly + @situationshiptosoulmate