Sober Fit Life

By Maureen BenkovichAlternative Health Health & Fitness Nutrition Mental Health

Sober Fit Life episodes

October 19EP 64: What Are You Really Craving? Food, Alcohol & the Search for Something More with Elizabeth Harris
What are you really craving?
Is it food? Alcohol? Sugar? Or is there something underneath that craving — comfort, relief, reward, connection, or simply a way to turn your brain off?
In this episode of Sober Fit Life, I'm joined by Elizabeth Harris, registered dietitian and certified intuitive eating counselor, for a fascinating conversation about the surprising parallels between our relationships with food and alcohol.
One of the biggest takeaways? Curiosity is far more useful than judgment.
When you find yourself craving something, instead of immediately asking what's wrong with you, what if you asked what your body or mind actually needs?
Maybe you haven't eaten enough. Maybe you're exhausted. Maybe you're overwhelmed and looking for comfort. Or maybe you're simply craving something you enjoy.
Elizabeth also introduces the concept of food neutrality; removing the moral labels of "good" and "bad" from food so we can make choices based on what actually supports our health.
We explore how diet culture and drinking culture shape our beliefs, why the constant negotiation around food and alcohol takes up so much mental energy, and how freeing it can be to step away from those exhausting rules.
Connect with Elizabeth Harris
Elizabeth offers a free quiz called What's Really Driving Your Eating Habits? to help you better understand the thoughts, feelings, and patterns behind your food choices.
Website
💬 Want to learn more about the tools I offer? 👇
Am I Drinking Too Much Quiz
Six-Week Alcohol Reset
Drink Less By Monday
Book a FREE Discovery Call
Follow me on Instagram
40 min
September 28 EP 63: The Cortisol Cure: Why Lowering Cortisol Isn’t Always the Answer with Dr. Erin Kinney
What if the problem isn’t that your cortisol is too high?
We hear it everywhere: lower your cortisol. But according to my guest, Dr. Erin Kinney, we may be misunderstanding one of the most important hormones in our bodies.
Dr. Kinney is a naturopathic doctor, stress physiology expert, founder of the Kinney Clinic, and author of the new book The Cortisol Cure. She’s also someone I know personally because I’ve been her patient, and I wanted her back on Sober Fit Life to help us make sense of what’s actually happening when we feel exhausted, wired, overwhelmed, or burned out.
Dr. Kinney explains why cortisol isn’t simply the “bad stress hormone” we’ve been taught to fear. It helps us wake up, gives us energy to respond to stress, and plays an important role in managing inflammation. The issue is what happens when we continually ask our bodies to spend more than we’re putting back in. That’s where Dr. Kinney’s Cortisol Bank Account comes in. Think of work, exercise, traffic, parenting, deadlines, emotional stress (and yes, alcohol) as withdrawals. Sleep, rest and nervous-system regulation are deposits.
The goal isn’t to eliminate every stressful thing from your life. It’s to make sure you’re actually replenishing what you spend. We often reach for a drink because we want to relax or shut off after a stressful day. Dr. Kinney explains how alcohol can interfere with restorative sleep and affect blood sugar, creating additional stress on the body, meaning the thing we’re using to “relax” may actually become another withdrawal from our cortisol bank account.
We also talk about what happens when alcohol becomes the tool you rely on to downregulate. Removing it can feel uncomfortable at first because your body has to relearn how to relax without an external substance.
The good news? As Dr. Kinney explains, your nervous system is trainable. Retraining your nervous system takes consistency. But small periods of intentional rest throughout the day can begin teaching your body that it knows how to come back down after stress.
Connect with Dr. Erin Kinney
📖 Buy The Cortisol Cure: The Secret to Resetting Your Stress Response, Boosting Energy & Feeling Better Than Ever
🧠 Take Dr. Kinney's Free Cortisol Debt Score Assessment
🎙️ Listen to The Dr. Kinney Show
📱 Follow Dr. Kinney on Instagram
💬 Want to learn more about the tools I offer? 👇
Am I Drinking Too Much Quiz
Six-Week Alcohol Reset
Drink Less By Monday
Book a FREE Discovery Call
Follow me on Instagram
38 min
September 07EP 62: You Can Run a Business, Compete in Triathlons, and Still Have a Struggle With Alcohol
I've said it before and I'll keep saying it: willpower is not the issue when it comes to alcohol. And nobody on this podcast has illustrated that more clearly than today's guest.
Chris Asher is a financial services professional, husband, father of two teenage daughters, Naval Academy attendee, former obstacle course racing world championships competitor, and USA Triathlon All-American. He trained 10 to 15 hours a week for half Iron Man distance races. He kept 12 years of workout data in meticulous spreadsheets. He counted his blueberries and his cashews.
And for years, he could not stop drinking.
Chris and I actually work out together at Peak Custom Fitness Solutions in Annapolis, and when he shared his story with me I knew immediately he had to come on Sober Fit Life. Because if there's one thing I want people to hear from this episode, it's that high achievement, intense discipline, and a serious fitness lifestyle do not protect you from a complicated relationship with alcohol. If anything, they can make it harder to see.
More than four years sober now, Chris says he is performing at the highest level of his life, getting stronger and faster at 52 than he was in his 40s, sleeping better, thinking more clearly, and living with far less anxiety than he ever thought possible. And the alcohol he thought was helping him recover from training? It was wrecking everything.
In this episode we talk about:
Chris's background as a multi-sport elite athlete and what his training load actually looked like while he was drinking
How COVID and life stress accelerated his drinking until he was hiding the recycling because he was embarrassed by the volume
Why having the willpower to complete world-level athletic competitions did nothing to help him stop drinking, and what that tells us about alcohol's effect on the brain
His life-changing alcohol-related event and what finally shifted
What his workout data actually shows: performing at a higher level at 52 than he was in his 40s, attributed entirely to removing alcohol
How he navigated social situations early in sobriety, including realizing nobody actually cared what he was drinking
The realization that we're in a cultural moment similar to the shift around cigarettes, where the science is catching up to what the alcohol industry has kept quiet
Giving back, including speaking at youth conferences to help teenagers understand that alcohol is a dangerous drug
💬 Want to learn more about the tools I offer? 👇
Am I Drinking Too Much Quiz
Six-Week Alcohol Reset
Drink Less By Monday
Book a FREE Discovery Call
Follow me on Instagram
35 min
August 10EP 61: Shame Thrives in Isolation, Here's What to Do Instead with Kristina Silvinski
One of the things I love most about this podcast is being able to bring you experts who can help explain why changing your relationship with alcohol is hard from a completely different angle. Today that angle is therapy, and my guest is really good at what she does.
Kristina Sliwinski is a licensed clinical therapist and founder of In Our Nature Therapy. With more than 20 years of experience helping people navigate trauma, anxiety, relationship challenges, and the emotional patterns that keep us stuck, Kristina brings a clinical lens to so many of the things I talk about every week from a coaching perspective.
What I love about Kristina's approach, and her practice name says it all, is that struggling is not a sign something is wrong with you. It's in our nature. And so is change.
She also came to this work through her own lived experience, moving through PTSD after a difficult season in the military and finding that therapy was the thing that made the difference.
This conversation is full of moments that made me stop and think, and I have a feeling it will do the same for you.
In this episode we cover:
What self-medicating actually looks like and why the person reaching for a drink at the end of the day is often doing something smart with wrong tools
The roller coaster analogy for anxiety and emotion, and why alcohol interrupts a natural process your body already knows how to complete
Why alcohol gives you short-term relief but reinforces the pattern and makes the emotion stronger over time
Practical psychological tricks for breaking the chain when a craving hits, including one involving oven mitts that I am absolutely trying
The power of buying yourself time and how even five minutes changes what your brain believes is possible
Decoupling the association between a trigger and the drink, and why that is the key to rewiring the habit
Shame and why it is heavier and more intense than almost any other emotion
How shame survives in isolation and actually thrives there, getting stronger the more you hide
Why you are not your shame, and how therapy helps you depersonalize it and see it as something you're experiencing, not something you are
What Kristina tells clients who are scared and don't know where to start
If this episode resonated with you and you're ready to take a closer look at your own relationship with alcohol, I would love to connect. Email me at [email protected] or visit my website to learn more about working together. No obligation, just science-backed support that actually works.
Connect with Kristina
Website: inournaturetherapy.com
💬 Want to learn more about the tools I offer? 👇
Am I Drinking Too Much Quiz
Six-Week Alcohol Reset
Drink Less By Monday
Book a FREE Discovery Call
Follow me on Instagram
41 min
August 03EP 60: Emotional Fitness Studio with Maria Winters
Maria Winters is a licensed mental health therapist with over 20 years of experience helping adolescents and adults build emotional wellness and healthier relationships. She's the founder of The Coaching Therapist, co-host of the Wellness Rebranded Podcast, and creator of the Emotional Fitness Studio, a free community in Annapolis focused on healing, connection, and growth. Maria is originally from Venezuela, and she brings a really unique perspective to this conversation because she has never been a drinker. And what surprised me when we started talking is that she still feels the social pressure and pushback around that choice all the time.
We also get into alcohol in the Latino culture, which is a conversation I hadn't had on this podcast yet, and Maria brought both her personal experience and 20 years of clinical work to it. It's eye-opening.
In this episode we talk about:
Maria's story as a lifelong non-drinker and why she still gets pushback at 49 years old
Why people assume there must be a big reason someone doesn't drink and what that reveals about our relationship with alcohol as a society
Alcohol in the Latino culture, including how heavy drinking has been normalized in ways the American culture is only now starting to question
The sober curious movement and why Maria had genuinely never heard of it before we talked
Why alcohol feels like a reward, a social connector, and a relaxation tool, and what's actually happening in the body while we think it's doing all those things
Nobody gets physically strong by avoiding hard workouts. The same is true for emotional resilience.
How Maria's 12 years working in an emergency room shaped her vision for the Emotional Fitness Studio
Why healing happens faster and better in community, and how isolation is one of alcohol's quieter costs
The Emotional Fitness Studio, what it is, how it works, why it's completely free, and how to find it
Maria's own daily practices for staying emotionally, mentally, and spiritually well
Connect with Maria:
Website: thecoachingtherapist.com (Emotional Fitness Studio tab for all upcoming events)
Podcast: Wellness Rebranded
Email: [email protected]
💬 Want to learn more about the tools I offer? 👇
My free webinar, September 9th
Am I Drinking Too Much Quiz
Six-Week Alcohol Reset
Drink Less By Monday
Book a FREE Discovery Call
Follow me on Instagram
If this episode resonated with you and you're ready to take a closer look at your own relationship with alcohol, I'd love to connect. Email me at [email protected] or visit my website to learn more about working together. No labels, no pressure, just honest support that actually works.
30 min
July 20EP 59: The $400 Reset Button That Didn't Work
I haven't talked about this publicly before, but today I'm going there.
Toward the end of my drinking, I got really good at damage control. After a heavy night, I'd wake up feeling completely wrecked, dehydrated, anxious, foggy, with my stomach in knots, ashamed, and I'd start looking for the fastest way to undo it. That usually meant calling an IV clinic. Sometimes they'd come to my house. I'd load up on hydration, vitamins, glutathione, anti-nausea medication, whatever they'd give me. And I'd spend up to $300 to $400 a session trying to erase what I'd done to myself.
Here's the thing I didn't understand at the time: you cannot magically undo a hangover. And in this episode, I break down exactly why (starting with what alcohol actually does inside your body ) and what I was really looking for every time I called that IV clinic.
Spoiler: it wasn't the IV. It was relief from how awful I felt physically and mentally. And the only thing that actually gave me that was stopping drinking altogether.
In this episode I cover:
My personal history with hangover IVs, party supplements, and expensive damage control strategies that didn't work
What actually happens in your liver when you drink, and why a hangover feels as brutal as it does
What glutathione is, why I kept asking for it, and the truth about whether it can undo the damage
Why sweating it out, greasy food, and Advil are all myths
The mindset shift I needed (I was working incredibly hard to keep drinking, just without consequences)
How the hangover recovery industry has normalized a cycle that deserves a closer look
My 4R method, Recognize, Replace, Rewire, Renew, and how it applies to breaking out of the damage control loop
The difference between practicing wellness and practicing damage control
What it actually feels like to not need recovery from drinking anymore
Resources mentioned:
Six-week Alcohol Reset with kickoff call September 21st (waitlist open now!)
Free webinar: It's Not Your Fault, It's Chemistry — September 9th
💬 Want to learn more about the tools I offer? 👇
Am I Drinking Too Much Quiz
Six-Week Alcohol Reset
Drink Less By Monday
Book a FREE Discovery Call
Follow me on Instagram
If any of this hit home, I want to hear from you. Email me at [email protected] — I read and respond to every single one. Or visit my website to learn more about working together and grab your spot in the reset.
24 min
July 06EP 58: What Are Your Kids Learning About Alcohol Just by Watching You?
Long before anyone sits down to have "the talk" about alcohol, kids are already watching. They're watching how we unwind after a hard day. They're watching what we reach for at dinner parties. They're absorbing the message that this is just what adults do.
This week I'm joined by two people who know how to talk to kids about alcohol — Samantha Straub and Dr. Melissa Wellner, the duo behind the Parenting Shrink Wrapped Podcast. Sam is a licensed counselor, parenting coach, longtime educator, and founder of Teen Savvy Coaching. Dr. Wellner is a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist and owner of Annapolis Psychiatry. Together they bring clinical expertise and real, practical parenting wisdom to the conversations families are actually having around their kitchen tables.
I grew up watching cocktail parties in the 70s. I served hors d'oeuvres at my parents' dinner parties and thought it was the most sophisticated thing in the world. It logged something in my brain early. And sure enough, I became a martini drinker. That pattern started long before anyone handed me a drink.
That's exactly what this episode is about.
In this episode we cover:
How kids form beliefs about alcohol before anyone says a word — and what parents are accidentally modeling every day
Why "I know you're going to drink, so just call me" is actually giving tacit permission (and what to say instead)
The cool parent trap — why hosting parties at your house doesn't keep kids safer and actually takes away their escape hatch
The power of and — how to hold values AND stay connected to your teen without going all or nothing
Why teens wildly overestimate how many of their peers are drinking (the real number is much lower than you think)
"I need a glass of wine" vs. "I'm going to have a glass of wine" — why that language difference matters more than you realize
What to do when you yourself are using alcohol as a coping tool and you know your kids are watching
Building resilience and self-efficacy as the long game — and why it matters so much more than one conversation about drinking
Connect with Sam and Melissa:
Sam: teensavvycoaching.com — grab her free guide How to Have a You Screwed Up Conversation with Your Teen plus her LOVED Framework video series
Dr. Wellner: annapolispsychiatry.com
Parenting Shrink Wrapped Podcast: available on all major platforms and YouTube
Email them at [email protected]
If this episode resonated with you as a parent and you're realizing your own relationship with alcohol might be part of the picture, I'd love to talk.
Email me at [email protected] or visit my website to learn more about working together. No labels, no judgment, just honest support.
💬 Want to learn more about the tools I offer? 👇
Am I Drinking Too Much Quiz
Six-Week Alcohol Reset
Drink Less By Monday
Book a FREE Discovery Call
Follow me on Instagram
52 min
June 22EP 57: Why Am I Working So Hard to Keep Alcohol in My Life?
I have been thinking about this question ever since a woman in one of my groups asked it out loud and I knew I had to dedicate an entire episode to it.
She said, "Why am I working so hard to keep this substance in my life?"
That's it. That's the whole question. And I promise you, if you sit with it honestly, it will shift something.
Because most of us (and I was absolutely one of them) are not asking that question. We're asking how I can moderate better, how I can drink less, and how I can keep the fun part without the consequences. We are in the negotiation cycle endlessly. And this one question interrupts all of it.
This is a solo episode, and I go deep on why this question matters, what it reveals, and what to do with it. No shame, no labels, just honesty and brain science.
In this episode I cover:
The question one of my group clients asked that stopped me cold, and why I wish I'd asked it years earlier
The detox-retox negotiation cycle: what it looks like, why it's exhausting, and why willpower will never be enough to break it
Why most of us aren't actually protecting the drink — we're protecting what we think the drink gives us (relief, confidence, connection, reward)
Fading effect bias — the sneaky reason you always end up back at the store after a few good days
Why shame and self-blame will never create lasting habit change — and what the science actually says works
My 4R Method — Recognize, Replace, Rewire, Renew — and how it works
💬 Want to learn more about the tools I offer? 👇
Am I Drinking Too Much Quiz
Six-Week Alcohol Reset
Drink Less By Monday
Book a FREE Discovery Call
Follow me on Instagram
27 min
June 08EP 56: Rock Botton is Where You Stop Digging with Laney Dimezza
This guest is the literal definition of Sober Fit Life, and I could not wait to share her story with you.
Laney Dimezza is a certified personal trainer based in New Jersey who ditched alcohol while navigating perimenopause at the same time. She's also a licensed drone pilot and real estate photographer, a mom, and honestly, one of the most quotable people I've ever talked to.
Lainey was a national championship cheerleader as a kid, literally on top of the pyramid at Nationals with the Pop Warner Rockets in 1991. But like so many of us, high school brought a whole new set of pressures and alcohol became her way of fitting in. That pattern followed her into her 20s, through mommy wine culture, and all the way into her 40s, when she finally decided enough was enough.
What I love about Laney's story is that she didn't lose everything before she made a change. She was still showing up, still running her business, still being a great mom. But she knew something was off — the off switch was broken, she was stepping over her own lines, and the detox-to-retox cycle was wearing her down. So she stopped digging.
In this episode, we talk about:
Growing up a national championship cheerleader and how that go-getter energy eventually got applied to partying
The mommy wine culture trap and how those TJ Maxx signs and memes aren't there by accident
Why the moderation games never work, and the mental gymnastics that go along with trying
How COVID accelerated everything and finally pushed Laney to seek out alternatives to traditional programs
Shaping your own algorithm, how Laney intentionally controlled her inputs (podcasts, books, social media) to rewire her environment around sobriety
"Rock bottom is simply when you stop digging" and why you don't have to lose everything to decide you're done
Her mantra: The woman I'm going to be in a few years is counting on me
Finding your tribe at the gym and building real human connection that isn't alcohol-dependent
$15,000 saved in 620 days of not drinking (yes, really)
How getting sober gave her the time and mental space to become a certified personal trainer
Find Laney:
Personal training at SmartBodies in Marlton, NJ
Community at Royal Fitness in Barrington, NJ
Instagram
💬 Want to learn more about the tools I offer? 👇
Am I Drinking Too Much Quiz
Six-Week Alcohol Reset
Drink Less By Monday
Book a FREE Discovery Call
Follow me on Instagram
Ready to explore what alcohol freedom could look like for you? Email me at [email protected] or visit my website to learn more about working together — no obligation, just science-backed support that actually works.
44 min
May 25Ep 55: Alcohol and Mental Health: The Conversation Nobody Is Having
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, but honestly, this conversation should be happening all the time. There's something that's still missing from too many mental health conversations, and I'm just going to say it: alcohol.
We've come a long way in talking openly about depression, anxiety, therapy, and medication. But the thing nobody wants to name? How much alcohol might be quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) working against every single thing you're trying to do for your mental health.
This is a solo episode, and it's personal. I've struggled with depression for most of my life. I tried therapy, medication, journaling, exercise, prayer, supplements, and I was doing all of it while still drinking. And here's what I know now that I wish I'd known then: you cannot out-supplement, out-exercise, or out-therapy a drinking habit that's actively pulling your brain chemistry in the wrong direction.
In this episode, I walk through exactly how alcohol interferes with the most common mental health tools people are using right now — and then I share my 4R method for what to do instead.
Some topics I cover are:
Why alcohol is still the missing piece in most mental health conversations, from patients to doctors to therapists
How alcohol actively interferes with therapy, antidepressants, sleep aids, journaling, exercise, and supplements
The shame spiral and fading effect bias, which is the cycle that keeps so many of us stuck
Brain shrinkage, rebound anxiety, and what expert brain imaging research actually shows
If this episode hit home, I want to hear from you. Email me at [email protected] I read and respond to every single one. And if you're ready to dig in, head to my website to learn more about working together.
💬 Want to learn more about the tools I offer? 👇
Am I Drinking Too Much Quiz
Six-Week Alcohol Reset
Drink Less By Monday
Book a FREE Discovery Call
Follow me on Instagram
38 min

About Sober Fit Life

From the publisher's feed

Sober Fit Life is the podcast for anyone caught in the cycle of drinking more than they want to, swearing it off, and ending up right back where they started—sometimes in the same day. If you're tired of the bloating, brain fog, shame, and mental tug-of-war over alcohol, you're not alone—and you're in the right place.