The number-one driver of mental illness is isolation, says parenting commentator and educator Nathan Wallis, therefore it's especially important for children to form healthy attachments in the first three years of life. Humans are interdependent by nature, and being socially connected gives our brain the peptides and positive hormones that it needs to stay well, Wallis says.

The number-one driver of mental illness is isolation, says parenting commentator and educator Nathan Wallis, therefore it's especially important for children to form healthy attachments in the first three years of life.

Humans are interdependent by nature, and being socially connected gives our brain the peptides and positive hormones that it needs to stay well, Wallis says.

Listen to the full interview with Nathan Willis here

Wallis tells Nine to Noon's Kathryn Ryan that forming secure attachments gives our three types of brains (survival, movement, and emotional) what they need to successfully develop the fourth - that is responsible for things like higher intelligence, control of emotions and planning for the future.

"Attachment theory is recognising that and then realising that human beings have this emotional limbic brain that needs to be engaged because it's the foundation of your cortex.

"We're talking about the dyadic relationship, which means a one-on-one relationship. So that just basically means that your outcomes are not just driven by your genes for your brain, your outcomes are a combination between your genes and the environment, and the environment is largely this dyadic relationship."

As a result of receiving this loving and caring attachment, a baby's stress responses can be calmed, Wallis says.

"When you receive that consistently, even in the first year of life, and consistently your stress response system has been calmed, that attachment then allows you to grow this brain number - this wonderful brain number four - it calms the human stress response system.

"So attachment is related to biology, we need it or else we would remain much more animalistic and much more in our brainstems and focused on survival."

Validating to control emotions

Wallis recommends that parents ensure they validate their child's feelings before approaching their parental duties to guide them, in order to induce the calming responses necessary for the 'fourth brain'.

Validating is hearing a child's emotion and reflecting it back to them, he says…

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details