Yeah, it’s frustrating. Yeah, it was preventable. Yeah, you told them it was preventable, you warned them what would happen. They didn’t listen and now here you are. Yeah, it’s gonna be costly. Yeah, you’re pissed.

But you know what you should do? You should solve the problem first. You can put your emotions about it aside. You can worry about blame later. “You don’t have to turn this into something,” Marcus Aurelius wrote in Meditations. “It doesn’t have to upset you.” He also writes about how easy it is to waste energy investigating the causes of things, taking things personally, extrapolating out what everything means. He’s saying: Just deal with it. Solve the problem, worry about ‘accountability’ later.

Right now, you’ve got to figure out what you’re going to do about the fact that your spouse left the keys at home. Right now, you’ve got to deal with the fact that one of your kids is hurt and crying—that your other one is responsible can be addressed later. Right now, you’ve got payroll to meet, you’ve got an order that’s late, you’ve got a boat to get on the trailer. Get your emotions under control, resist the urge to argue and fight about the situation you’re in. Deal with the fact you’re in the situation first. You can deal with the rest later.

…and you just might find, after you’ve solved the problem, that you don’t much care about whose fault it was anymore.

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