Speak Your Mind Unapologetically Podcast

To feel more confident, often all you need is an outside perspective to get out of your negative overthinking.

Here are 8 ways to change your perspective on a negative interaction.

1. Write it out as if writing to someone else.
2. Consider who you are and what you stand for.
3. Share it with someone who will give you honest feedback.
4. Research it to gain more knowledge.
5. Play your own devil's advocate.
6. Ask for clarification from the person involved.
7. Rethink it when you are in a good mood.
8. Zoom out in time and space.

Get the episode notes: https://assertiveway.com/8-ways-to-be-more-confident-with-perspective/

Get started on boosting your confidence with this free crash course on assertive communication.

Frustrated that people don't take you seriously? We'll help you.

It is time to be heard, be respected, and get recognized. And never be fearful when you speak up again.

Visit our website here to speak up without being rude.

Find out the secret sauce to speaking up with assertive communication in a heart-driven way.

Heart-centered assertive communication is communication that brings people together to help each other out while at the same building the relationship.

These are the 10 principles to keep in mind as you are assertive in a heart-centered way.

05:39 Courage

07:20 Candid

09:19 Curiosity

12:25 Centered

13:26 Calm

15:41 Connection

16:43 Confrontation

19:19 Consideration

20:59 Care

21:43 Clarity

Read the episode show notes on this at https://www.assertiveway.com/33

Get started with this free crash course on how to be assertive without being rude or these other resources here.

Frustrated that people don't take you seriously? We'll help you.

It is time to be heard, be respected, and get recognized. And never be fearful when you speak up again.

Visit our website here to speak up without being rude.

The top reason people shy away from speaking up and expressing their needs, boundaries, desires, true thoughts, and feelings are their fears of speaking up.

This happens especially with those who don't like to confront others or to engage in conflict because of these fears, that many are very aware of but don't know how to overcome. Any people pleasers out there? Nice people?

When you don't fully express yourself and speak up for yourself and for your needs over and over again, you end up feeling misunderstood and disrespected. And that leads to you also feeling overwhelmed, resentful, and frustrated.

That is why people who don't speak up feel less connected to other people, are taken advantage of regularly, and waste most of their potential. They work more, get paid less, get less recognition, less appreciation, and still get yelled at more.

The top four fears of speaking up are the fear of coming across as rude, offensive, aggressive, or mean; the fear of being disliked; the fear of hurting people's feelings; and the fear of retaliation or backlash.

The good news is that these visceral speaking up fears that feel so real are in reality unjustified. You can speak up and still avoid all the negative things on the other side of those fears.

Here the 4 top speaking up fears debunked.

09:42 Fear of coming across as rude, offensive, or aggressive

15:02 Fear of hurting people's feelings

17:57 Fear of not being liked

22:53 Fear of retaliation and backlash

Read the episode show notes on this at https://www.assertiveway.com/34

Get started with this free crash course on how to be assertive without being rude or these other resources here.

Frustrated that people don't take you seriously? We'll help you.

It is time to be heard, be respected, and get recognized. And never be fearful when you speak up again.

Visit our website here to speak up without being rude.

Do men not take you seriously at work? Being a woman in a male-dominated workplace is not easy.... Do guys question everything you do? Your credibility? Underestimate your intelligence? Even guys with less experience! Do you feel like you have to constantly prove yourself?

Unfortunately, sexism and gender bias is a real thing! And being the only woman in the room or one of the few around makes it more difficult...

Here's what's important to know...

Perceived credibility is not always about your diplomas and experience. People, and men in particular, associate confidence to competence…even if you are clearly competent.

And the good news is there are small adjustments you can make that will instantly increase the credibility factor, even if you already know how smart and credible you are so that you don't have to repeatedly prove your credibility and competence.

When you make a few small changes, you'll start to notice how others will respect you more, listen to you, and take you more seriously.

There are better ways to be polite, friendly, kind, and warm that don't accidently undermine your competence.

This episode shows you 10 credibility killer mistakes that you might be making that undermine you at work (plus examples and what to do instead).

Get started now with a crash course on how to be more assertive without being rude, aggressive, or a jerk by clicking here.

Sign up for our newsletter to get more free training, tips, and resources like this in your inbox every week:

https://www.assertiveway.com/newsletter

Or watch the video version of this episode:

https://youtu.be/dSTAR42jdVs

Frustrated that people don't take you seriously? We'll help you.

It is time to be heard, be respected, and get recognized. And never be fearful when you speak up again.

Visit our website here to speak up without being rude.

If you are the kind of person that is very nice, or if you want to make sure you don't hurt other people's feelings, or if you really want people to like you, chances are you dread conflict and confrontation.

Ironically, by avoiding conflict and not bringing up important issues that bother you in a timely manner, you may end up hurting people, being mean, and pushing people away from you.

Sooner or later, you'll feel misunderstood, stressed, and taken for granted. Which means that over time you'll start to feel resentful and frustrated towards others. And even if you don't say anything it can come across in your mannerisms, micro expressions, tone, and body language which means you'll trust people less, assume they're trying to take advantage of you, and to be more difficult.

Not only that, but you'll also start to have the "poor me" mindset, which most people don't find pleasant. All of this non-verbal and verbal negativity will come across and push people away from you.

Find out:

Why You Dread Conflict And Confrontation

A Good Reason For Your Concern Of Conflict

What Happens When Conflict And Confrontation Become Normal

What Is Conflict And Confrontation Afterall?

The 3 Types Of Conflict

6 Myths About Conflict

• Conflict and confrontation are bad.
• Conflict is caused by difficult, angry, or aggressive trouble-making people.
• Conflict means there's a problem in the relationship.
• Time will heal the pain without the need for conflict.
• Confrontation is painful and overwhelming.
• Kind people don't confront.

Get the full episode notes:

https://assertiveway.com/29

Download the pdf freebie with 13 confrontation myths debunked and 5 steps to overcome fear of confrontation:

https://assertiveway.aweb.page/29download

Sign up for our weekly newsletter:

https://www.assertiveway.com/newsletter

Frustrated that people don't take you seriously? We'll help you.

It is time to be heard, be respected, and get recognized. And never be fearful when you speak up again.

Visit our website here to speak up without being rude.

Is fear holding you up from speaking up?

One of the biggest challenges people face when trying to speak up comes from inside: it's their fears.

Fear of backlash, fear of being misunderstood, fear of upsetting other people, fear of retaliation, fear of being reported on, fear of not being liked, fear of being labeled difficult, fear of bothering people, worry that you'll be ignored no matter what, fear of what people might think of you, fear of embarrassment, or ridicule and looking like a fool, of people judging you, thinking you are stupid, or of coming across as rude.

The fear shows up as worry that goes to bed with you and keeps you unsettled at night. It can show up as being paranoid about how people think of you. It can show up as rumination about what to say or not to say and overthinking which leads to inaction.

I can't think of a single time I regretted speaking up. And I can think of dozens of times with speaking up radically changed my life for the better.

Now the fear was always there for me when I had to speak up for something important. The more important to me, the bigger the fear.

How can you speak up even if you feel the fear?

Frustrated that people don't take you seriously? We'll help you.

It is time to be heard, be respected, and get recognized. And never be fearful when you speak up again.

Visit our website here to speak up without being rude.

It can hurt when someone responds to what you say by saying, "are you on your period?", "you're too sensitive," or "you seem very emotional."

In the example I share in this episode, this businesswoman responds to the accusation in a very assertive way in five simple steps. She imposes her boundaries and stays positive in the end.

Get the show notes here.

Responding to unfair accusations is part of assertive communication. Watch a free training on how to be assertive at work without being aggressive or rude here.

Listen to this businesswoman describe her hard conversation here.

This is the best time of the year to review and celebrate your accomplishments, learnings, and experiences. How do you review your year? Join me as we honor and acknowledge your year together!

This episode is part 1 of a 3-part series that will walk you through your year-end review with eye-opening questions. These annual review prompts will help you reflect on, appreciate, and celebrate your year. All three parts will be rolled out this month.

This is part of a 31-day 2021 Review Challenge where you get daily review prompts to analyze and self-reflect on your year. You can sign up for the challenge at https://assertiveway.aweb.page/2021reviewchallenge.

By the end, you'll have your full annual review and reflections. We go beyond the obvious basics and go deep in an unforgettable and inspiring intimate date with yourself.

This challenge is for you if you want to celebrate your 2021, find out what you achieved in 2021 even if you think you didn't achieve anything, and prepare for a successful new year.

"Reflection is one of the most underused yet powerful tools for success." – Richard Carlson.

Learn more about what we offer at https://assertiveway.com.

Many people think they have to be aggressive to get ahead in their careers because of the aggressive work culture in many companies. But they are not willing to be that kind of person.

And the worst part is they feel that if they don't want to be an aggressive, rude person, then they will certainly stay stuck forever.

The reality is that you can be a nice person and get ahead at the same time. You'll still need to speak up and advocate for yourself, and you can do so in a polite and respectful way.

Lean more about the skill that allows you to be a good person and still get ahead here.

Do you feel like you're always being judged by others? Do you feel like people judge you unfairly? Does it bother you? Let me show you how to worry less about being judged.

Judgement always feels like a threat, but most of the time it isn't. And in the few moments where there is a real threat, you have more influence over the outcome then you think.

Not all judgement is created equal. You can't get rid of others judgment of you, but you can police the access doors to your sanctuary.

In this episode you'll discover 12 questions to help you know when to not take judgment seriously.

To learn more about how to advocate for yourself, sign up for our assertiveness newsletter at www.assertiveway.com/newsletter.