The fate of humanity rests in the hands of our two resident comedians, and to save our planet (and the lives of all aboard) they must show a potentially murderous alien invader the best possible night on the town. The answers may leave some despairing for humanity.

A question on ageing provides a window into Joe’s unique approach to the topic, including an eclectic mix of treatments and procedures.

And Darren gets offered the festival ticket of a lifetime.

Joe’s depressing dodging of karma for his many sins in the concert world lead us in a roundabout way to wondering if we could make a living selling merchandise outside gigs, which then leads down a strange path that ends with us browsing aircraft hangars and full sized rollercoasters.

Darren makes  big footwear announcement, and Joe wants to partner up with Joe Exotic to achieve stardom.

And we discover the surprisingly dark world of competitive tickling, and the even darker world of tickle torture.

Darren is going through more windows at 4 in the morning, there’s some deep consideration to the best time to wear a suit of bees, a listener gets on to us to fact check another listener, and the lads weigh up the pros and cons of writing their own story, or having someone pen their legacy for them.

In his typically humble way, Joe makes the case he can win a fight with one of the great apes, and Taylor Swift can’t hold a tune. And it all, somehow, stems from him being disappointed that Dublin Zoo is just too damn good these days.

A listener tips us off about the fascinating origins of eels (turns out it’s quite a mystery), and Joe has an audience with the Pope in the Vatican. Which means he now has two passes into heaven, which is handy.

We also search for Darren on Goggle street view, and hear about his new collectible habit, which this time Joe is actually interested in.

And we have a time travel challenge, with a 10 year old Darren Conway tasked with alerting the world to impending disaster.

There’s big news coming in of a major feat of athletic endurance in west Dublin, and there's cause for celebration as Darren is finally made aware of it.

Joe puts out a call for someone to create a dance track for “The Conway” – all submissions will be very gratefully received.

With the offer of performing at any music festival throughout history on the table the lads take two very different paths, with Darren choosing to try out his stand up routine at history’s most notorious nu-metal melee, while Joe goes for something entirely more local and sedate, but no less grandiose.

Joe can’t escape the newly discovered USA branch of the Stall It fan club, and we get a fascinating insight behind the scenes of one of the great depictions of Dublin Bus life.

A consensus is reached this week, as we decide to bring back some good, old fashioned traffic.

Joe has a rare moment of self doubt as a conversation in a pub unleashes the fear he may look older than he actually is, and he comes to the studio looing for reassurance.

Darren is set for the chance of a lifetime and the chance to live out his dreams of managing a real football team, and it’s none other than his beloved Man Utd.

Joe breaks the news that all life is a simulation, and he proposes that our entire universe could be nothing more than a computer game run from far in the future.

And we take a short trip through the history of Dublin’s Concerned Parents Against Drugs movement in the 1990s.

We get another listener tribute from the mountains, with very high production values, and we receive a disgruntled communication from across the Atlantic - as Joe's lack of gratitude does not go unnoticed.

A gross ignorance of sheep is exposed, life in Siberia is compared to life in a haunted house, and Darren reveals a potentially controversial new character.

We find ourselves wandering through the world of mass hysteria and moral panics this week, from dancing plagues in medieval Europe, to meowing nuns, and on to satanic panics.

Joe proudly confesses to a low level, shameless scam, while Darren has been schmoozing at the top tiers of Irish sport and stands on the verge of having very high friends in high places.

Joe tells us, strangely for the first time, of how he once was babysitter for an Irish international footballer, and Darren reveals the death of one of his most beloved viral characters.

We pause for some time travelling this week, as one listener’s question offer options for leaping forward in time, where anything is possible, from witnessing the apocalypse to Joe scoring a tap in at an elite level of competition. Meanwhile, one listener drags us back into Stall It’s past.

There’s talk of iconic, and shite, landmarks. A very kind listener sends Joe a potential logo for his spice bag empire, and an encounter with some fans leads Darren to reveal his true identity.

Darren has a rant about chemists, reveals why he'd prefer to buy tampons than condoms and rebrands a common disease.

Joe has a run-in with the Gardaí at Dublin airport and accidentally almost gets himself a night in the locker. He also goes on a deep dive into a documentary he just watched featuring one of the most incompetent ship captains in modern history, hits us with a mind bending Abraham Lincoln fact and they all get into it about the Mummy who got a passport. You listen, you learn!