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In today's episode, we delve into the topic of people-pleasing tendencies and why they can be a significant red flag. Many individuals, including myself, often find themselves falling into the trap of people-pleasing, yet admitting to this behavior can be challenging. However, acknowledging and understanding our traits and tendencies is crucial for personal growth and living authentically. People-pleasers constantly prioritize others, catering to their needs, emotions, thoughts, and opinions to ensure their happiness. Unfortunately, this behavior comes with risks. First, people-pleasers often suppress their own needs, neglecting their own emotions, thoughts, and opinions. Second, they attract unhealthy relationships where others may take advantage of their kind nature.
The roots of people-pleasing lie in trauma responses, which can range from major life-threatening events to ongoing criticism, judgment, or fear of abandonment. Subconsciously, people learn that prioritizing others' happiness is a means of self-protection. By keeping others satisfied, they believe they will be safe and secure. People-pleasing also reflects underlying anxiety, as individuals fear the consequences of not constantly prioritizing others or expressing their own needs, which may conflict with those of others.
People-pleasers seek certainty in pleasing others, believing it will ensure love, acceptance, and stability in their relationships. However, by continuously striving to please, they inadvertently lose their own sense of certainty. They miss opportunities to discover genuine relationships that value them for who they are, rather than what they do. Gradually, by stepping away from people-pleasing, individuals can find confidence in their own worth and feel comfortable expressing their needs, thoughts, and desires. This shift allows for healthier relationship dynamics, where both partners prioritize each other and feel secure in their mutual affection.
Letting go of people-pleasing is a transformative process that helps individuals evaluate the authenticity of their relationships and recognize if they are truly loved and valued. It opens doors to finding safety, security, and a greater sense of self-worth. By breaking free from the urge to constantly please others, individuals can develop healthier dynamics, meet their own needs, and prioritize themselves alongside their part
Support the show
Let’s develop relationship fitness and cultivate fulfilling, secure, and loving relationships.
Specialising in relationships, attachment problems and trauma bonding, Dr Sarah is on a mission to help you end negative cycles, create a secure relationship template, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy. Stop self-sabotaging behaviours now and begin to self-actualise.
Working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, high achievers and perfectionists. Whether you are wanting to strengthen your current relationship and save your marriage, or you are healing from heartbreak to start a fresh, set yourself up for relationship success.
Get marriage counselling near you in person or online, sign up to one of Dr Sarah's luxury retreats, and continue your path to success.
www.relationshipsuccesslab.com
Sign up to the exclusive retreat: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/retreat
Contact: [email protected]
LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies
Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy
Find resources on: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz
Subscribe to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab on Spotify or Apple Podcasts
4.7
1313 ratings
In today's episode, we delve into the topic of people-pleasing tendencies and why they can be a significant red flag. Many individuals, including myself, often find themselves falling into the trap of people-pleasing, yet admitting to this behavior can be challenging. However, acknowledging and understanding our traits and tendencies is crucial for personal growth and living authentically. People-pleasers constantly prioritize others, catering to their needs, emotions, thoughts, and opinions to ensure their happiness. Unfortunately, this behavior comes with risks. First, people-pleasers often suppress their own needs, neglecting their own emotions, thoughts, and opinions. Second, they attract unhealthy relationships where others may take advantage of their kind nature.
The roots of people-pleasing lie in trauma responses, which can range from major life-threatening events to ongoing criticism, judgment, or fear of abandonment. Subconsciously, people learn that prioritizing others' happiness is a means of self-protection. By keeping others satisfied, they believe they will be safe and secure. People-pleasing also reflects underlying anxiety, as individuals fear the consequences of not constantly prioritizing others or expressing their own needs, which may conflict with those of others.
People-pleasers seek certainty in pleasing others, believing it will ensure love, acceptance, and stability in their relationships. However, by continuously striving to please, they inadvertently lose their own sense of certainty. They miss opportunities to discover genuine relationships that value them for who they are, rather than what they do. Gradually, by stepping away from people-pleasing, individuals can find confidence in their own worth and feel comfortable expressing their needs, thoughts, and desires. This shift allows for healthier relationship dynamics, where both partners prioritize each other and feel secure in their mutual affection.
Letting go of people-pleasing is a transformative process that helps individuals evaluate the authenticity of their relationships and recognize if they are truly loved and valued. It opens doors to finding safety, security, and a greater sense of self-worth. By breaking free from the urge to constantly please others, individuals can develop healthier dynamics, meet their own needs, and prioritize themselves alongside their part
Support the show
Let’s develop relationship fitness and cultivate fulfilling, secure, and loving relationships.
Specialising in relationships, attachment problems and trauma bonding, Dr Sarah is on a mission to help you end negative cycles, create a secure relationship template, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional intimacy. Stop self-sabotaging behaviours now and begin to self-actualise.
Working with business leaders, entrepreneurs, high achievers and perfectionists. Whether you are wanting to strengthen your current relationship and save your marriage, or you are healing from heartbreak to start a fresh, set yourself up for relationship success.
Get marriage counselling near you in person or online, sign up to one of Dr Sarah's luxury retreats, and continue your path to success.
www.relationshipsuccesslab.com
Sign up to the exclusive retreat: www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/retreat
Contact: [email protected]
LinkedIn: Dr Sarah (Alsawy) Davies
Instagram handle: @dr.sarahalsawy
Find resources on: https://www.relationshipsuccesslab.com/relationship-quiz
Subscribe to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab on Spotify or Apple Podcasts
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