In today's episode, we delve into the topic of people-pleasing tendencies and why they can be a significant red flag. Many individuals, including myself, often find themselves falling into the trap of people-pleasing, yet admitting to this behavior can be challenging. However, acknowledging and understanding our traits and tendencies is crucial for personal growth and living authentically. People-pleasers constantly prioritize others, catering to their needs, emotions, thoughts, and opinions to ensure their happiness. Unfortunately, this behavior comes with risks. First, people-pleasers often suppress their own needs, neglecting their own emotions, thoughts, and opinions. Second, they attract unhealthy relationships where others may take advantage of their kind nature.

The roots of people-pleasing lie in trauma responses, which can range from major life-threatening events to ongoing criticism, judgment, or fear of abandonment. Subconsciously, people learn that prioritizing others' happiness is a means of self-protection. By keeping others satisfied, they believe they will be safe and secure. People-pleasing also reflects underlying anxiety, as individuals fear the consequences of not constantly prioritizing others or expressing their own needs, which may conflict with those of others.

People-pleasers seek certainty in pleasing others, believing it will ensure love, acceptance, and stability in their relationships. However, by continuously striving to please, they inadvertently lose their own sense of certainty. They miss opportunities to discover genuine relationships that value them for who they are, rather than what they do. Gradually, by stepping away from people-pleasing, individuals can find confidence in their own worth and feel comfortable expressing their needs, thoughts, and desires. This shift allows for healthier relationship dynamics, where both partners prioritize each other and feel secure in their mutual affection.

Letting go of people-pleasing is a transformative process that helps individuals evaluate the authenticity of their relationships and recognize if they are truly loved and valued. It opens doors to finding safety, security, and a greater sense of self-worth. By breaking free from the urge to constantly please others, individuals can develop healthier dynamics, meet their own needs, and prioritize themselves alongside their partners. This journey fosters personal growth and ultimately leads to more fulfilling relationships.


You can find more resources and contact me on www.healtoxicrelationships.com

You can also find me on instagram @dr.sarahalsawy

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Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships.

Hosted by Dr Sarah, psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab, this show guides you through practical tools and deep insights on:

✅ Healing from trauma bonding, anxious attachment style, and codependency
✅ Building emotional resilience and secure attachment styles a
✅ Improving communication, empathy, and emotional intimacy
✅ Reclaiming your identity, boundaries, and self-worth
✅ Creating lasting relationship happiness and passion

Whether you're recovering from betrayal, navigating codependency, or simply ready to break free from the past, this podcast gives you the clarity, strength, and strategy to move forward

We hope you got massive value from this episode for your own healing and relationship progress.