The drive for perfection can be such a blessing and a curse, can't it? What seems like trying for the best can actually end up destroying our enjoyment of the process, not to mention how it feels when our self imposed standards aren't met! And as we discover, the longing for perfection typically comes from a much deeper place...

In this episode of Sunday Sanctuary, Grace McArthur sets the scene with a look at Brené Brown's definition of perfectionism from her book, Atlas of the Heart. Grace also unpacks how she fought her want for perfection in her art.

Petra is joined once again by counsellor Shirley Pastiroff. With a little help from Ted Lasso, they talk through where perfectionistic tendencies come from and what the first step is to addressing the impact it can have. 

Nic Manders, music producer to the stars (Six60, TEEKS, Dave Dobbyn and more) joins Petra to round out the episode by sharing his personal journey with perfectionism. 

If you enjoyed this episode, we'd love it if you left us a 5 star rating. Feel free to write a short review if you feel so inclined! As always though, the most helpful thing you can do is spread the word among friends and whānau! If you'd like to join us on Instagram, our handle is @sundaysanctuarynz.

Awe

The awe piece in this episode comes from City of the Future: Singapore by National Geographic. Watch it here.

Sacred texts

• Ted Lasso S3, Ep 12 - So long, Farewell
• One by Sleeping at Last

 

It's officially Spring! The designated season of daffodils, lambs, and new beginnings...or is it? Join Petra as she explores that squishy period of time where one part of life ends and another starts. As it turns out, new beginnings can happen at any time!

Petra is joined by Mustafa Derbashi MNZM, who came to Aotearoa as a refugee and with a calling in his heart to help others, just as soon as he learnt English... Salvation Army Captain Hana Seddon talks with Petra about backing herself during times of transition, no matter what others might think. Grace McArthur also stops by to bring some more wisdom from Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart, this time looking at the emotion of excitement.

Producer Josh provides this episode's moment of awe and talks to Petra about his brand new baby! Lastly, producer Sam pays a visit to his friend Millie at the farm she works on. Come for the cute animals noises and stay for her reflections on relocating from Taihape to Tāmaki Makaurau/Auckland.

If you enjoyed this episode, we'd love it if you left us a 5 star rating. Feel free to write a short review if you feel so inclined! As always though, the most helpful thing you can do is spread the word among friends and whānau! If you'd like to join us on Instagram, our handle is @sundaysanctuarynz.

Awe

The awe piece in this episode came from Professor Edward Tronick's 'Still Face' experiment at the University of Massachusetts. Watch the full video here

Sacred Text

Inside Out (Disney, 2015). Watch the full scene

 

Times of grieving can be so difficult to face and unpredictable in how they present. A question that's also been on our minds for a while is 'have you ever felt the expectation to finish grieving once the funeral is over?'

On this episode of Sunday Sanctuary, we look into the rituals and rites of passage that can be held to mark the passing of a loved one. What we hope is that you will see how much freedom there is to decide what you do to remember those you have lost, all in your own time.

Join Petra as she talks to her friend (and boss) Phil Guyan, who beautifully shares all the ways in which he remembered, and continues to remember his dad, Neil. Producer Sam drops past Auckland's Threshold Choir, the Cadence Singers, to learn about their work. Lastly, Petra speaks with former hospital chaplain Heike Pomare, from Ōtepoti/Dunedin, about the role of being a 'grief holder'.

If you enjoyed this episode, we'd love it if you left us a 5 star rating. Feel free to write a short review if you feel so inclined! As always though, the most helpful thing you can do is spread the word among friends and whānau! If you'd like to join us on Instagram, our handle is @sundaysanctuarynz.

Awe

The awe piece in this episode was written by Sam who took inspiration from the video by Listening In, titled The Music that links Dumbledore's death to Bach and Radiohead. Watch it here.

Sacred texts

• Grey Areas with Petra Bagust, Season 1 Episode 9: Inevitable Grief
• Excerpt from My Inner Sky by Mari Andrew (pg. 144-146)
• The Crab/Waterbaby by Tiny Ruins

What's your attitude towards gratitude? For some it flows easily, which for those of us who find gratitude more difficult to summon can be a bit frustrating! No matter how you feel about gratitude, join Petra as she dives into the role it can play in our lives and the surprising things it can bring forth.

Petra is joined firstly by her longtime friend, mental health advocate, speaker, and musician, Julia Grace, to hear about the (very passive aggressive) journey Julia went on with her gratitude journal. Grace McArthur returns to dive back into Brené Brown's 'Atlas of the Heart'. Finally, spoken word poet and youth worker, Dietrich Soakai, dials in from Ōtautahi Christchurch to share his journey of coming to embrace gratitude during a time of heartbreak.

If you enjoyed this episode, we'd love it if you left us a 5 star rating. Feel free to write a short review if you feel so inclined! As always though, the most helpful thing you can do is spread the word among friends and whānau! If you'd like to join us on Instagram, our handle is @sundaysanctuarynz.

 

This week's awe piece came from the article 'Scientists Found Ripples in Space and Time. And You Have to Buy Groceries.' It was published in The Atlantic on June 29th and written by Adam Frank. https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2023/06/universe-gravitational-waves-nanograv-discovery/674570/

 

Sacred texts:

Clip from 'Inside Amy Schumer' - https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=484520277113949

Quote by Maya Angelou was found on goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/132587-the-ship-of-my-life-may-or-may-not-be

Have you ever looked past your reflection in the mirror and been able to see your body as truly part of who you are? Do you consider your physical body to be spiritual? Join Petra Bagust on this episode as she untangles the disconnect between our mind, body, and spirit. Petra talks to Sam Bloore about the ancient Greek philosophy that lies at the root of this problem. Rev. Jay Ruka (author of Huia Come Home) dials in to talk about the Māori concept of Te Whare Tapa Wha. Finally, Petra pays a visit to journalist, editor, and disability advocate Olivia Shivas to learn about how she relates to her body as a wheelchair user.

 

The TED Talk used for the moment of Awe can be found here: https://www.ted.com/talks/heather_barnett_what_humans_can_learn_from_semi_intelligent_slime

Sacred texts:

• Passage from 'The Wisdom of Your Body' by Hillary L. McBride
•  Clip from Kate Bowler's interview with Bessel van der Kolk on her podcast Everything Happens. Season 6, Episode 11 published in April 2021.

 

Join us for a contemplative exploration as we delve into the spiritual practice of silence. Paradoxical, isn't it? Yet, we hope that by the end of this episode, you'll find yourself better prepared to try and perhaps even introduce the art of quieting your mind to your everyday life.

In this episode, Petra talks to spiritual director Rev Rachel Kitchens, about the difficulty of seeking moments of silence amidst the bustling world we live in.

Later on, Petra welcomes back friend of the show, Rev Spanky Moore, to kōrero about the challenges and rewards that come from stilling your mind and body. Don't miss Spanky's legendary story about a pesky family of birds he encountered on a silent retreat.

The moment of awe in this episode was adapted from AsapSCIENCE's video The Loudest vs Quietest Room In The World - Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sqt60LqaEBU&ab_channel=AsapSCIENCE

First sacred text - Silence is Golden by The Beths. Here's the music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5ZxW1r1Zc8&ab_channel=TheBeths

Second sacred text - The Summer Day by Mary Oliver. Listen to the poem here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBPHUE961zI&ab_channel=The92ndStreetY%2CNewYork

Third sacred text - quote by Thomas Merton from his book Come to the Mountain: New Ways and Living Traditions in the Monastic Life

Fourth sacred text - quote by Richard Rohr from his book Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer

Brave conversations are not easy to have! They so often seem like they will require more from us than we can give. How can we approach these discussions well? What does a positive outcome look like? 

In this episode, Petra Bagust digs into the world of brave conversations and healthy confrontation. She’s joined by counsellor and author of the book ‘Mindful Parenting’, Shirley Pastiroff, who offers tools to use when approaching these interactions. Next, Rev. Frank Ritchie offers some insight into how brave conversations intersect with his faith and what he has found as a chaplain to those facing similar situations of their own. 

The ‘sacred texts’ used in this episode are the song Found Out by This is the Kit and a portion of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, season four, episode 19.

TW: Suicidal ideation

In this episode, Petra Bagust explores loneliness and our need to belong. What is our loneliness telling us?

She is joined by community leader David Letele (aka Brown Buttanbean), who opens up about the lowest point in his life, and CEO of Wilberforce Foundation Chris Clarke, who expands on the idea that loneliness is an emotion driving us to action.

Can you think of a time when you experienced kindness from a stranger? Perhaps a tank of petrol paid for when your credit card didn't work, or an offer to help carry your stroller up a flight of stairs?

What is it about experiencing kindness from someone outside of our circles which is so compelling? And what is this word 'compassion' all about?

In this story-filled episode, Petra Bagust is joined by Rev Petra Zaleski and Matt Renata for a deep dive into the topic, and we revisit Atlas of the Heart with Grace McArthur for an exploration of compassion.

Join the Sunday Sanctuary community on Instagram at @sundaysanctuarynz.

When has food felt like love to you? And what food feels like love for you? Is it your favourite soup ready on the stove upon your return to your childhood home? A carrot cake couriered to you for your birthday? 

Food is so much more than physical sustenance. It is a bridge between cultures, a holder of memories and an expression of love for those we care about.

In this episode, Petra speaks with mate Pio Terei and Destitute Gourmet's Sophie Gray about their thoughts on this passion subject of theirs, and we hear plenty of delicious stories along the way.