What we think is happening versus what is actually happening.

What we think we should do and what we actually need to do.

We think we this is what is happening:

1. Experience a circumstance

2. Attachment System Triggered

3. Take Action

What is actually happening:

1. Experience a circumstance

2. We have a thought

   a. I'm not good enough/ they don't love me/ they are going to leave me

3. Attachment System Triggered

4. We have an uncomfortable emotion

5. Then we take action to FEEL BETTER

BUT WHAT WE NEED TO DO

1. Experience a circumstance

2. We have a thought

   a. I'm not good enough/ they don't love me/ they are going to leave me

3. Attachment System Triggered

4. We have an uncomfortable emotion

5. STOP . PAUSE . Show yourself compassion

Of course this is what is happening, our brain is giving us a lot of negative thoughts creating lots of negative emotions,

Now pause... feel your emotion... label it ... label how does it feel, what vibrations do you feel in your body...

NOW feel it, allow yourself to just sit with the fear/ rejection/ overwhelm

These are just negative emotions, nothing has really gone wrong our brain is just feeding us a lot of negative thoughts creating a lot of uncomfortable emotions.