Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

Imagine your brain as a control room. On most days, the switches flick and the dials turn just as they should. But then something small—an unanswered text, a missed deadline, a critical glance—trips the wrong lever. Suddenly, that control room is submerged. The signals blur. The system floods.

This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki sit down with two returning champions of clarity and compassion: Dr. Sharon Saline and Dr. Dodge Rea. Together, they unravel the hidden mechanics of emotional flooding—not as a character flaw, but as a neurological response shaped by fear, history, and a sometimes-overzealous amygdala.

Through stories, science, and metaphor (including rogue trains and Wile E. Coyote’s ill-fated cliff dives), they reveal what happens when the ADHD brain short-circuits under pressure—and what we can actually do about it. Along the way, you’ll learn how shame disguises itself as control, how the body signals what the mind can’t process, and why sometimes the most strategic thing you can do is… go to the bathroom.

This is a conversation about reframing of the narrative so many ADHD adults carry with them: that being overwhelmed means being broken. It doesn’t. It never did.

Links & Notes

• Learn more about Dr. Sharon Saline: drsharonsaline.com
• Learn more about Dr. Dodge Rea: dodgerea.com
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast

There’s a moment—maybe you’ve lived it—when the email goes unanswered, the dishwasher remains unloaded, the phone rings but your hand doesn’t move. You’re not tired. You’re not lazy. You’re just… stuck.

We call it overwhelm. But what if that word is too small? What if what you’re feeling is your brain's way of saying, This system is not working for me?

In this episode of our Duos series, we bring together two people who have spent their careers listening to the quiet, misunderstood signals of ADHD: Dr. Tamara Rosier, author of Your Brain’s Not Broken and You, Me, and Our ADHD Family, and Brooke Schnittman, author of Activate Your ADHD Potential.

Tamara talks about emotional flooding—those tidal waves of feeling that hit before a single task is done. Brooke explains how to pause just long enough to choose a different direction. Together, they unpack why ADHD-related overwhelm isn’t a sign of failure, but a clue. A trailhead. A door.

Because maybe, just maybe, the problem isn’t that your brain is broken. Maybe it’s that the world was built for a different kind of mind. Maybe the first step isn’t pushing through. It’s listening.

📚 Links & Notes

• Your Brain’s Not Broken by Dr. Tamara Rosier
• You, Me, and Our ADHD Family by Dr. Tamara Rosier
• Activate Your ADHD Potential by Brooke Schnittman
• Coaching With Brooke
• ADHD Center of West Michigan
• Guided IFS Therapy Session / Exercise for Inner Healing | Dr. Richard Schwartz & Dr. Andrew Huberman
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

Shame is a formidable force—an emotional wildfire that can either illuminate our path to growth or consume us in cycles of self-blame. For individuals with ADHD, this complex emotion is often amplified, lingering far beyond its utility as a corrective signal. But why? And more importantly, how do we break free?

This week on The ADHD Podcast, hosts Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer embark on an exploration of shame spirals with two powerhouse guests: James Ochoa, LPC, renowned ADHD pathfinder and author of Focused Forward: Navigating the Storms of Adult ADHD, and Dr. Nachi Felt, an ADHD specialist and professor at Columbia University where he teaches Psychopathology and helps direct the Cognition and Neuroscience Research Lab.

Together, they dissect the neurobiology of shame, its insidious tendency to hijack our presence of mind, and the ways in which ADHD uniquely intensifies its grip. James and Nachi offer profound insights into the role of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and the often-overlooked power of resourcing—the practice of cultivating internal and external tools to navigate emotional turbulence.

From the interplay of trauma and shame to the game-changing realization that the same agency that allows us to sit in shame also allows us to stand up and move forward, this conversation is both a course in emotional resilience and a rallying cry for self-compassion.

With humor, wisdom, and a touch of Brooklyn-style candor, this episode invites you to challenge your inner narratives, embrace the possibility of rewriting your personal stories, and ultimately, reclaim your incredible sense of self-worth.

Resources & Links:

• Take Control ADHD Discord Community
• Support the Podcast on Patreon
• James Ochoa’s Work & Books
• Dr. Nachi Felt’s ADHD Resources
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

There’s an inflection point when technology shifts from novelty to necessity. The printing press. The telephone. The internet. And now, artificial intelligence. For those with ADHD, the rise of AI presents an especially tantalizing paradox: a tool that promises to sharpen focus and streamline tasks, yet one that, if wielded carelessly, could just as easily become another source of distraction.

In this episode of The ADHD Podcast, Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer take us into the heart of the paradox. They begin with a simple but profound question: How do we make AI work for us, rather than the other way around?

It starts with a refresher on prompt engineering—the art of structuring AI queries with precision. It’s not unlike training a dog. Give vague instructions, and you’ll get unpredictable results. But with the right prompts, AI can become an invaluable assistant, distilling complex information, organizing thoughts, and even generating study guides.

But then comes the tension. The unease. The creeping realization that AI—like all powerful tools—has a darker side. What of the Paperclip Problem, a thought experiment that suggests AI, if left unchecked, could optimize itself into oblivion, consuming all available resources (including us) in its relentless pursuit of efficiency. Far out? There are those who argue not so far as you think.

The conversation then shifts to the Goldilocks Zone—that elusive middle ground where AI enhances productivity without eroding autonomy. Pete shares his meticulously curated AI toolkit: Perplexity AI for research, Grammarly for writing, TextExpander for automation, and Adobe Voice Enhancer for audio clarity. Each tool, when used correctly, reduces cognitive load. But over-reliance? That’s where the danger lies.

By the end of the discussion, one thing becomes clear: AI is neither savior nor saboteur. It is a mirror, reflecting back the habits and intentions of its user. The question isn’t whether AI will replace us—it won’t. The real question is: Will we use AI to become more of who we are, or will we let it decide that for us?

Links & Notes

• Perplexity AI – AI-powered research assistant
• Poe.com – Multi-model AI chat platform
• Grammarly – AI-enhanced writing assistant
• Adobe Voice Enhancer – AI-driven audio clarity tool
• Coda.io – AI-integrated database management
• Join our Discord community
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

Artificial intelligence is everywhere—shaping how we work, think, and even how we manage our ADHD. But is AI a game-changing cognitive assistant or just another digital white whale primed to swallow our focus whole?

This week, Pete Wright and his AI-curious co-pilot Nikki Kinzer embark on tour of ADHD and AI. With AI tools evolving at a dizzying pace, the duo explores how these technologies can either empower or derail neurodivergent minds.

Throughout the episode, they share some of the tools making waves in the ADHD community, from AI-powered task managers like Motion and Reclaim to text-based assistants like ChatGPT and Claude. They also unpack the critical distinction between AI as a thought partner versus an unreliable oracle—one that is often confidently wrong.

But AI isn't just about efficiency. Pete and Nikki probe the philosophical and ethical dilemmas AI presents: Is AI truly augmenting human potential, or are we handing over too much cognitive agency to machines?

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database
• Join the ADHD Discord community
• Explore AI tools we talked about on the show
  • Motion AI
  • Reclaim AI
  • Todoist AI
  • Notion AI
  • Coda
  • Poe AI
  • Perplexity AI
  • Brain.fm

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

Friendship. It’s a word that evokes warmth, nostalgia, and—if we’re honest—a twinge of confusion. Because once upon a time, it was effortless. A shared lunch, a game of tag, and suddenly, a best friend was born. But then, something happened. Adulthood. And with it came the slow realization that making and keeping friends isn’t just harder—it’s an entirely different proposition.

We've heard the lamentations before: Why is this so difficult? Why do friendships slip away? Why does it feel like rejection when it’s just… life? Enter Caroline Maguire. She is no stranger to the complexities of human connection. A coach, a teacher, and the award-winning author of Why Will No One Play with Me?, Caroline has made it her life’s work to decode the unspoken rules of friendship—especially for those with ADHD.

Today, she returns to the podcast with answers and a roadmap. What if the secret to adult friendships isn’t just about finding the right people, but about understanding the invisible structures that hold relationships together? What if the problem isn’t you, but the way we misjudge who is truly a friend? What if, in our rush to connect, we’re skipping the essential steps that turn acquaintance into ally?

From the hidden psychology of trust to the overlooked power of consistency, this episode pulls back the curtain on the friendships we crave—and the ones we lose. Pete wrestles with the ghosts of old friendships, Nikki examines the seasons of connection, and Caroline offers not just wisdom, but action. Because friendship, like any great endeavor, requires more than just longing. It requires intention.

Links & Notes

• Caroline Maguire on Instagram: @authorcarolinem
• Why Will No One Play With Me? by Caroline Maguire
• Join the Taking Control: The ADHD Discord Community
• Support the Show on Patreon

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

What if the very quality that makes those early, intoxicating moments of romance so vibrant—the spontaneous weekend getaway, the surprise bouquet of flowers—later becomes the source of relationship friction? The human brain, particularly one wired with ADHD, contains multitudes of contradictions, and nowhere is this more evident than in how impulsivity shapes our intimate partnerships.

This week on the show, relationship expert Melissa Orlov peels back the layers of impulsive behavior in ADHD relationships with Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer. Pete's personal confession—renting a convertible for a romantic coastal drive during courtship, then later purchasing an entire car during what should have been a routine oil change—illuminates the Jekyll-and-Hyde nature of impulsivity that Melissa has observed in thousands of couples.

"It came from somewhere," Melissa notes of impulsive words and actions that wound our partners. But where? The answer lies in a neurological tightrope walk between present-moment reward and long-term relationship consequences. The ADHD partner experiences the euphoria of now, while their significant other bears witness to the aftermath, creating an asymmetrical emotional experience that compounds over time.

What of verbal impulsivity—those cutting remarks that can never be unsaid? Melissa offers a revelation that ADHD partners are "blessed with the ability to move on quickly," while non-ADHD partners ruminate, creating relationship dissonance long after the moment has passed.

Let us take our cues from Melissa's "verbal cues," pattern interrupters in relationship conflict. The deliberate absurdity of an agreed-upon word like "hamburger" or "aardvark" serves as a circuit breaker during emotional escalation—a linguistic tool that transcends the heat of argument to preserve relationship integrity. It's a Safe Word, but for your ADHD.

This is an invitation to understand how neurological differences fundamentally shape our perception of time, commitment, and connection—and how awareness of these differences might just be the greatest relationship skill we can develop.

Links & Notes

• ADHD Marriage
• Intent to Action Membership Program
• The ADHD Effect on Marriage
• The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast

Imagine two people standing on opposite sides of a canyon. One, tethered to the rhythms of neurotypical expectation—cause and effect, action and consequence—a world in which forgotten keys are just that: forgotten keys. The other, moving through a landscape of impulsivity, of fractured attention, of a thousand micro-failures that feel, at times, like an existential indictment. They love each other. They try to reach across the chasm. But the bridge they need is invisible.

This week on The ADHD Podcast, Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer embark on a three-part exploration into ADHD and relationships. Their guide this first week: Jonathan Hassall, an ADHD and executive function coach with a background in psychiatric nursing and ADHD research. Jonathan has spent years decoding the paradoxes that arise when ADHD meets the relentless machinery of relationships.

Why do partners of those with ADHD feel unheard? Why does an innocuous comment about condiments over lunch spiral into a silent war? Why do people with ADHD sometimes feel like perpetual disappointments in the eyes of those they love? And is there a way—a real, tangible way—to undo the corrosive misunderstandings that accumulate over years, even decades?

Jonathan argues that the real problem isn’t ADHD itself. It’s adaptation—or rather, the failure to adapt. The rules of engagement in relationships often assume a kind of neurological symmetry that simply doesn’t exist when one or both partners have ADHD. And when partners misinterpret behavior—when forgetfulness looks like indifference, when emotional reactivity looks like hostility—the result is a slow erosion of trust.

But what if there were another way? A way to recalibrate, to assume goodwill, to dismantle the myths and rebuild a foundation not on correction, but on understanding? From the science of emotional regulation to the power of a single moment of grace, Pete, Nikki, and Jonathan dissect the anatomy of ADHD relationships and ask the most fundamental question of all: What does it take to be truly seen?

Links & Resources:

• Jonathan’s book: Decoding Doing
• Learn more about Jonathan Hassall’s work at ConnectADHD Coaching
• Join the ADHD community on Discord: TakeControlADHD.com/discord
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast

ADHD doesn’t just complicate relationships—it shapes them. From romantic partnerships to friendships, family dynamics, and workplace interactions, the traits of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity ripple across every connection. Romantic relationships often bear the brunt, with ADHD symptoms leading to miscommunication, frustration, and even intimacy challenges. Couples may struggle with mismatched libidos, impulsive behaviors, or emotional dysregulation, but understanding ADHD’s role can transform these struggles into opportunities for deeper connection.

Family and professional relationships, too, are affected. ADHD parents often wrestle with providing structure or consistent discipline, creating chaotic home environments that strain relationships with children and partners. At work, impulsivity, time management issues, and difficulty following through on commitments can complicate team dynamics and career growth. Socially, the ADHD brain’s challenges with focus and emotional regulation can lead to feelings of rejection or isolation, making it harder to build and sustain friendships.

The science behind these struggles lies in the ADHD brain itself. Impaired dopamine regulation impacts empathy, social cognition, and emotional recognition, all of which play critical roles in relationships. Comorbid conditions like anxiety, depression, or substance use disorders further complicate matters, while genetic factors often ripple across generations, creating patterns of behavior that shape family and social dynamics. But the good news? With the right diagnosis, treatment, and tools, ADHDers can overcome these challenges and thrive in their relationships.

In this episode, Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright explore the intersection of ADHD and relationships, unpacking the science, the stories, and the strategies that foster connection. From structured communication techniques to empathy-building exercises, they offer actionable advice to help ADHDers and their loved ones navigate challenges and unlock the unique strengths ADHD brings to relationships. Whether you’re navigating romance, family life, or professional interactions, this episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to better understand ADHD’s role in human connection.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

Emotional dysregulation is one of ADHD’s most disruptive yet overlooked symptoms. It’s not just a passing mood or a fleeting frustration. For those with ADHD, emotions can spiral into sudden waves of intensity—anger, hurt, joy, or anxiety—seemingly out of nowhere. This week, Nikki and Pete explore the science and strategies behind this turbulent experience, offering insights to help listeners navigate its challenges.

At its core, emotional dysregulation is the brain’s difficulty managing emotions effectively. The overactive amygdala—the emotional alarm center—reacts strongly, while the underactive prefrontal cortex struggles to rein it in. When dopamine levels are low, the prefrontal cortex can’t regulate the amygdala, resulting in overwhelming emotional reactions. These aren’t just limited to anger or sadness; moments of extreme joy, excitement, or frustration can also feel uncontainable.

And then we have our dear friend, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a particularly painful form of emotional dysregulation. RSD amplifies the sting of perceived rejection or criticism to an intense, often unbearable level. These emotional wounds, though short-lived, can ripple through relationships, self-esteem, and productivity. Many people find themselves stuck in cycles of avoidance, self-doubt, and shame, all of which undermine their ability to connect with others and move forward in their lives.

But there is hope. It turns out there are actually actionable strategies to manage emotional dysregulation, from mindfulness practices and therapy to building awareness of emotional triggers. Simple steps, like labeling emotions, taking deep breaths, or stepping away to reset, can make a real difference. For some, professional help, whether through coaching, medication, or therapy, provides essential tools to regain emotional balance and build resilience.

This episode sheds light on a hidden aspect of ADHD that affects everything from relationships to self-esteem. It’s a reminder that while emotional dysregulation is challenging, it’s also manageable with the right tools, support, and understanding.

Links & Notes

• ADDitude: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and Emotional Dysregulation
• Beyond BookSmart: ADHD and Emotional Dysregulation
• Emotion dysregulation and right pars orbitalis constitute a neuropsychological pathway to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
• Uncovering the Roots and Evolution of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria - Neurodivergent Insights
• Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and ADHD with Dr. William Dodson — Take Control ADHD
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast