Shame often keeps us from living the full, expansive life we’re desiring. In this episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explains the difference between “healthy” and “unhealthy” shame, and why unresolved trauma can often leave us feeling unworthy or like there is something inherently wrong with us.

While shame can affect every area of our lives, from our relationships to our purpose, the good news is that it’s absolutely possible to heal. Sarah will walk you through tangible somatic steps to bring your nervous system back into internal safety and access your healthy aggression or “life force energy,” both of which are imperative to releasing shame and finding freedom in your everyday life.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:26 What is Healthy Shame?

04:29 What is Unhealthy Shame?

11:55 How the Internalization of Shame Occurs

13:59 How to Resolve Unhealthy Shame

18:43 Accessing Healthy Aggression

21:25 Parts Work & Embodying Your Creativity

27:10 Processing the Underlying Activation of Panic Attacks

33:17 Being Ferociously Protective of Your Own Story

37:52 Shame Around Experiencing Setbacks

Work with Sarah inside the You Make Sense course:

Looking for tools to heal every area of your life? You Make Sense is a 10-week live somatic healing course that will help you to address your relationships, purpose, younger parts, boundaries, thoughts, and more!

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Important Keywords:

Healthy Shame - Healthy shame teaches individuals about boundaries, consequences, and experiencing health in relationships and life. It begins to occur during early developmental stages and builds resilience to navigate stress and be with affect in our bodies. In the process, we are not made to feel like we are inherently bad or unlovable.

Unhealthy Shame - Unhealthy shame is the internalization of what happened to us (or what was said to us) making one feel inherently bad and unworthy. This type of shame is often rooted in traumatic experiences and can result in long-lasting psychological distress.

Nervous System Regulation - Nervous system regulation involves managing the body's response to stress and stimuli through various techniques that help maintain or restore a state of balance. It is crucial for emotional resilience and overall mental health.

Somatic Experiencing - Somatic Experiencing is a modality developed by Peter Levine that uses the body to release stored trauma and activation. This approach is grounded in science that confirms the body holds past trauma, and that through somatic healing and completing the incomplete experience, we can release the stored traumatic energy and consequently, the past becomes the past rather than the perpetual present.

Trauma - Trauma is the overwhelm of activation (energy) experienced in our bodies, in the face of helplessness. If we do not have the conditions necessary for trauma to process through our bodies, it becomes stuck and stored, leaving lasting emotional, physical or psychological imprints. It disrupts the nervous system causing chronic dysregulation, disconnection and/or hypervigilance.

Internalization - Internalization is a psychological process where individuals unconsciously integrate the beliefs, values, and norms of others into their own self-view. In the context of shame, it often refers to the absorption of negative beliefs about oneself that are derived from critical or dismissive messaging and treatment by others.