Today’s episode is questions sent in by listeners. Join me in this very casual conversation with Betsy and April while they dive into all kinds of areas of life and discuss the nature of reality, favorite animals and more!

Transcription:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show today. So today’s show I have somebody on with me, that’s helping me do an Ask Me Anything episode. So we asked on social media, if anybody had questions or anything random that they wanted me to talk about. And I thought, I’ll put this out there who knows if anybody will have anything but we did. We got quite a few questions. And so on the show with me today, and you’ll hear us get into it. But I have on my friend April who works with me, April does all the backend systems organizes everything. She’s the one that’s inside the Facebook group that creates the worksheets for every episode. All that good stuff. So APR is I love APR, and I’m so happy that she was able to do this episode with me because it just made made the whole thing like more of a conversation. Also, two things one is, I’m not super happy with the mic I used you’ll hear I sound a little weird. And I’m sorry. Lesson learned. Secondly, you know, I’m answering the we’re having a conversation and I kind of forgot we were recording. I curse at one point. So look out for that. I know the podcast is labeled as explicit, just in case I do that. But

it’s just like a really comfortable conversation. And I you know, and because of that it’s not a normal sounding episode. I don’t think I think I talk really fast and there’s a lot going on, but hopefully you’ll like it. Hopefully you’ll enjoy listening. April always has cool things to say too. We’ll have her on another time. So thanks for listening to this week’s show. Now, let’s get into it.

All right, we’re recording. Okay. Okay. All right. Hi, welcome to the show. Okay, so, okay, so what are we calling you?

I call you my magical unicorn, but I don’t know if that’s what you want me to call you on the show? Well, I mean, yeah, April, it’s, I don’t know. Like, I have a name. But a like your LIKE, SHARE. Like it’s just yeah, name. I’m just, I’m just April art. I’m gonna make a symbol like prints it because that would be awesome. I’m just oh, you can? Oh my god. I really don’t. I just had a great idea instead of a symbol. I’m a hand gesture. I’m this. Your hands? Yes. I’m hard hands. So please, please reference me like that. Yes, I will. You know, I will.

Because your references the magical unicorn inside all of our systems and apps. Yes. All right.

I love it. Okay, so I’m here with my magical unicorn. I’m making the heart hand symbol otherwise known previously known as April, April is now Okay, so now we’re gonna have another conversation. April is like the magic behind what I do. April keeps everything organized. And

and is

my emotional support animal.

Like I love my emotional support beverages here my water. I have a water I’ll have a sparkling water a coffee, decaf a tea. And then I have takes a team. It takes a village. Yes, takes a village. So for this episode, I wanted to do an Ask Me Anything, which honestly, when I thought I should do an Ask me anything? Because I thought it would be fun to answer. But then I really was like, Is anybody gonna have anything to ask me? I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m like, nobody’s gonna answer but we got questions. Yeah. And so I thought we would just dive in and and, and if people keep sending questions, like keep sending questions, because we’ll do an Ask me anything.

And also, I feel the need to say like, not that I know everything, but like, like,

there might there might be something I could share. I don’t know. Well, alright, so let’s, let’s, let’s Should we just dive in? Yeah, the first question is something that you should know. And it’s very deep. So are you prepared for it? Oh, god, you’re gonna start with a deep one. So I’ve seen all the questions, but I haven’t really prepped just to kind of say, and then I gave all the questions to heart hands, and then she’s just picking. So okay, let’s go first question. What is your favorite animal? Oh, Miley. I mean, honestly, when I saw that question, I was like, a Miley. Which, if you’re new here, Miley is my dog. That’s my dead dog. That

It’s ashes are here. But here’s the thing though. Like maybe it’s like what kind of animal but it doesn’t say that it says what is your favorite animal? Do you know that your answer would have never crossed my mind? It would never have crossed my mind to say Abigail who’s sitting on my lap right now like, Oh, really? Like what would you have that kind of animal? Yeah, like a spa?

Why was I thinking slots? I was like that slot if I had to pick like a slot. Like if I had to watch videos of an animal, it would be a slot slot videos. Yes. Slot than otter. Oh, yeah. Otters are good when they hold hands. Yeah, they’re cute. And they float and hold hands. Yeah, but Miley is my favorite animal. I Miley will be gone now. Two years and April.

Day. Isn’t that weird?

So weird. Because I feel like that has gone by fast and slow. You know? Yeah. And like, it’s weird to me that she’s been gone that long yet. I’m still so in love with her. I guess I thought she’s still there. Yeah, yeah. And I feel Iran. I dream about her a lot. I do have a lot of dreams about her. But I have a lot of funky.

I have a lot of funky dreams anyway.

But yeah, okay, ready? Okay, I’m ready. Okay, so someone said, I’m good at staying in alignment, when things are good. How do you stay when thoughts get tough.

So

it is easy to stay in alignment, when things are good. This is actually something that you and I talk about a lot.

You know, years ago, when my daughter was really sick. I remember I mean, and let me just preface that if you haven’t, and she was on an episode, I forget know which episode it was, but it was like last summer, early last summer, I think. Um, but my daughter was really sick. She has a mental illness. And it was undiagnosed at that time. And so really, like, just felt chaotic, and really, really, really hard. I mean, I think we all were really struggling. And I remember every day being like, really hard. And there was this thing that like I knew that the the lower that she would go many times the lower she would go the lower I would go. And I remember one day thinking, what if I

am really happy, even though she’s really doing bad. And I think that sometimes when things get hard, our natural reaction is I have to feel bad. Because things are bad. And if I don’t feel bad, then I’m a bad mom, or I’m not empathetic, or do I mean like whatever that is. And I remember thinking,

I’m going to stay really happy.

And I’m going to find like a mustard seed

to grab onto. And you know, if you guys listen to Abraham Hicks, and like rampages of experience of appreciation, all you need is like one little thing, right? And so she was, at that time having a really hard time, this is gonna sound kind of, but she was having a really hard time, not breaking her bones. So her illness was such that it caused her to, like want to, but consciously not want to. So she would kind of ask, like, Please help me, I don’t want to do this, but I have to kind of thing. And so a lot of times I would have to be holding her, like I would be physically holding her. And I remember how could I be happy. And then I thought, I’m here. I get to be here. She gets to be with her mom, her mom gets to hold her. I get to be here to help her. I can I’m stopping her from doing something that she doesn’t want to do. And keeping her safe. How nice is it that I can keep her safe? I get to keep my kids safe. A lot of people don’t even have their kids here to keep safe. I have my kid here, my kids alive. I’m getting to hug my kid. I can be here like Do you see how like I could start getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And it became this sort of like wave of a thing that I would do is like a game to find the little mustard seed right to find the little thing that I could grab on to that then I could make bigger and bigger and bigger instead of grabbing the thing that was really obvious and making that even bigger. And so the more I did that, the easier it was to start to find her the right help. It was almost like I remember at that time thinking like people are just like messaging me with doctors or ideas or things that I was like, oh my god, I never thought of that or, and I think it’s because I was getting more on the vibration of like helping her right and it got more and more and more. Now. It doesn’t mean every day was easy. And it doesn’t mean every day I was successful. But it meant that that I had a path

Like I had a plan that I could use. And now in my life, I think like, I don’t have anything that that is that difficult to that extent.

But it doesn’t matter. Because even if you don’t have something that’s that big.

Other things are big, you know what I mean? Like, we don’t have to compare and say, like, well, I don’t have anything that big, because now I don’t even that big, but I still have things that are challenging. And so and you and I talk about this a lot. Because you’re my emotional support.

Just like, How can I like in this? What’s the best feeling thought? And I know, you have thoughts on that. You want to talk about that? Yeah, that’s what I was gonna say. Like, even if you can’t go from like depths of despair to excitement and happiness. And don’t expect yourself to write Yes, reach for the best feeling thought at that time. And it kind of acts similar to the appreciation rampage because then you can reach the next one and the next one and the next one. And like you said, the more you do it, the easier and the faster that climb becomes. Yeah. And I think what I think one thing you said is really good, too, is, like you said, like, Oh, don’t be a bad mom. And this and people are super judgmental about like, you are supposed to feel this certain way, right? Like if somebody passes, and you are like, and I have been thinking about this a lot, actually. But when somebody passes in, you’re like, Oh, I’m so happy that there was pure positive energy, and you really are happy. Can you imagine how people will react? Like, they’re only they only will understand and accept that if the person is really old?

Yeah. Oh, right. Because they think oh, yeah, they their life. They lived? Yes. Their life wasn’t cut short. Right. Sure. The air quotes, right? Yeah. Like, what if we all live as long as we’re supposed to? Yeah. Which I know. If you haven’t been here for a while, and you’re new listening that might, that might make you bristle a little bit. But like I think about my mom, she died at 41. Like, what? I want to change that? Absolutely. Also, I think about it a lot. And I’m like, maybe your work was done. You don’t mean like what?

It was complete? Like she had a sense of completion. Maybe not consciously, but like, I don’t know. I mean, I don’t who knows if that’s true, but like, it helps me to find a better feeling thought. Yeah, I mean, it helps me to.

Yeah, and I believe it’s true. In case in case you wanted to know my personal belief. I did. Is that your email, shut your email off.

Point you’re shutting off. Yesterday, I recorded it. Because I can hear it. I’m like, I don’t hear the noise at all. So it can’t be like, Oh, it’s my side. Okay, so yesterday, I was recording. Um, so Oh, Instagram story, and I could hear that email doing in the background of it. It stresses me out so much, because I’m like, Oh, my God, there’s so much to do. Anyway, it was mine. So I can’t shut that off.

Like, permanently. I mean, shut it off at like six o’clock, shut it off.

All the days, shut it off, put it off. I think I might change the the doing

the same thing with my alarm. Did you see my Instagram story? So I was speaking last week in Baltimore. And I have I downloaded a different alarm. So when my alarm goes off, it makes me it makes me upset like it. Do you know what I mean? Like, I’m like, it’s jarring. And it must trigger something. So I was like, I set my alarm at different times of the day to like, check whatever my thoughts are, you know, to like, have gratitude or check my thoughts. But when the alarm would go off, I would immediately get like tense. And so I downloaded this new alarm. You know, you can download ringtones or whatever. Yeah. And it was like, this really pretty like chat. I’m like, doo doo doo doo doo. I think that’s the one I use. Yeah.

I got Okay, so then I’m in Baltimore. At the airport, or at the hotel and I got in the elevator and this I mean, this the sound in the elevator. I was like, God, it was like this, doo doo doo doo doo. I was like, what is that? And this other woman was in the elevator. She’s like, I don’t know what that’s driving me crazy. And then this guy got in the elevator and he’s like, I don’t know kind of makes me sleepy as it pipes throughout the whole hotel. And I said, I think so because I heard it when I was coming down the hall. Then I got out of the elevator and I walked like my, my room was way down at the end of the hall. So I’m walking. And I’m thinking to myself, this is really driving me like vanilla like batshit crazy. Like, I can’t stand it. Doo doo doo doo doo. I walk in the room and shut the door and I realized it’s my phone. That’s it.

my back pocket. So I was like, blasting it. How oh my god I was. So anyway, that’s why I get like shattered all

the digging sound. But anyway, probably nobody heard it because it was on my end it was probably just but anyway, that’s so funny. I couldn’t hear it. I’m good in case anybody cares the episode with all is 253 Thank you daughter. Yeah.

Yeah, she’s really open about sharing about all of her stuff. Yeah. Which I think is good. You know, like we

there’s some kind of shame around it so we don’t talk about it but yeah, yeah, but we let go of the shame. Yes, yeah. Are you ready for the next one? Okay, I’m ready. Okay. Um, what is? No, let’s not go there. Okay, what are your current fears Your overcoming this year?

I know that I sent you that question that somebody asked me, but I, I forgot. So let me my current view. So my big thing that I’m working on right now.

And it’s something that I really struggle with. And it’s probably the thing that holds me back. And I think you’ll probably agree is my fear of like being seen.

It’s sort of like, I desperately want to get my message out there.

Also, don’t include me in it.

You really mean? Your message out? Not Betsy and your face? Yeah. And I don’t, I think but I don’t know why. Because I don’t necessarily.

Like I’m not afraid. Like I speak. I like to go and speak like, I like that stuff. I think I’m afraid of like a personal attack.

Do you know what I mean? And also, when people have personally attacked me, which I’ve got, I get a lot of messages. And I used to get a lot that called me like a slut and stuff on Instagram, which I always was like, I’m eating my husband would love it if that was true.

Like, that’s, it made me laugh. But sometimes I get messages, and it doesn’t make me laugh. And, and it’s because there’s an element of it that I go, Oh, is that true? You know, and the bigger you get, the more you will get of that, that you’re exposed to people and like I’m on the show, and I’m sharing lots of stuff. So like, it kind of makes sense. You know that I would be open up to that. But I think that’s like my biggest thing. And I think that’s probably like a thing that really holds me back. And I have gotten I’ve had hypnotherapy around it like I’ve had, I’ve done a lot of stuff and made a lot of progress with it.

And I wish I just didn’t have that. Like I wish I just I know that’s the thing, like just don’t care. Like just stop caring. But then I think that it’s because I care that I do the work. I do. Yeah. So if I didn’t care, I probably wouldn’t do it.

Yeah, I remember once years ago, and I’m gonna guess that they no longer listen. Or I’m gonna guess that it’s so long ago. They don’t remember. They sent me this message.

And I don’t remember the total details. But they basically were like, I found you and I have loved every episode like I am binging I have gardening the whole weekend. I garden all night, Friday, all day Saturday, and I just listened to you the whole day. And I listened to you all day Sunday. And by Sunday afternoon, I decided to send your podcast my daughter where she and she loves you. And then I got to an episode where you said this and this and this and I don’t agree and this whole thing about how terrible I was. I was like

just stop stop listening.

We get a lot like you’ve spent a lot of time with me and I’m sorry that I said something that disappointed you. It was like some faulty science. It was. I referenced that that. Dr. Emoto Is that his name with the Rice Experiment? Oh, yeah, yeah, saying nice words. And she just felt like that was correct science. And you know, I don’t know the correct answer to that. But, um, but yeah, stuff like that. I get really like I don’t want to share. I don’t want to I don’t want to disappoint anybody. You know what I mean? Yeah, yes. I that I feel that right there is is like it like or say the wrong thing or Yeah, like because you say the wrong thing. Or put it on herded? Yeah, totally. And you know that, you know, it’s all about her and like, you can’t say that because then she’ll just be defensive but I will be like, like, clearly you haven’t listened enough, man. Keep going, keep going. But I get I get I mean, not a lot. I used to get a lot a lot. I don’t get as many now but I you used to get a ton

lot of messages similar to that. People really upset. I hadn’t moved to the beach yet how have they listened to 122 episodes? And I still haven’t moved to the beach? You know? I mean, which I was like, did they hear the part about how I have a kid who’s sick and not husband that has a job in the state? You know what I mean? I just so sometimes I don’t know. But let’s talk about how it’s not. It doesn’t really have anything to do with me at all. Yeah, well, and and because you’re saying it’s happening less now. And you’ve been working on it, right? So perhaps the vibration that you were putting out that fear you were putting out was actually attracting those people? Right? You’re like, I don’t want this? Well, if you don’t want it, right, you’re focusing on the right end of the stick. And so I’m working on it. And so now there’s less people doing it. Yeah, yeah, the resistance brings it right. What resist you resist persists? Yeah. Mm hmm. And, you know, and I, and I think that, and I know, we talked about this a lot, but everything that we think unconsciously is coming out whether we are aware of it or not. So micro expressions on her face tone in our voice, like all of those things. And I have had people say to me, when I listened to the really early episodes, you sound different. And so it could be that the the change changed, like the way I’m speaking or the authority in my voice, or whatever. And then it’s just not open to, like a lot of input or feedback, which it’s not that I mind people’s feedback. I like if you’re like it like, yeah, it’s not that I mind feedback. It’s the kind of feedback, you know, and I always and I do have a fear of

being misunderstood that, like you’re gonna say something that it’s not going to be what I mean, that wasn’t my intention. And I’m sure that’s like some kind of trauma from my past.

But that’s the thing. Like, that’s the thing with a lot of people like, oh, I misunderstood her, or especially in this day and age where everything seems to be taken to the extreme or to the offense or to like, the assume there’s a lot of assumption in this day and age. Yeah, right. Yeah, back in my day with the horse and buggies, we made no assumptions.

Well, we would ask, would we, like what did we do like in the 70s? And 80s? Like, we didn’t have the internet. So like, we didn’t say anything? No, everything was suppressed down deep in our soul.

We just became vessels of emotion waiting to be exploded upon.

We didn’t have the internet. So like, yeah, everything’s great. Like they like there was nothing to hide behind. So when you said something, it’s on you. Right. And now you could just put it out there. Like with no accountability? Yeah. Just something people talk about all the time. Yeah. Yeah. And I think we weren’t as exposed to as much and so we didn’t have a lot of opinions about stuff. Because we are exposed to it. Yeah, like, really? Like, I could not have podcasted in the 70s. Yeah, nobody would have given me a radio show at that time in my life.

But maybe people that were on the radio back then got a lot of feedback, like letters and stuff. Yeah, like, but you had imagine someone would have to sit down like, right, get a paper and pencil and write a letter and get a stamp and put in and now they just have to go click, click, click like, right? Yes. It’s easier to write a strongly worded letter. Yeah.

And you have when you if you do that you have time to like think it out like, oh, okay, maybe this is wrong, and I shouldn’t send this versus that. instant reaction, right? Yes. Totally. Take a breath. We’ll take that space. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that’s my biggest fear is just that I’ll be like, misunderstood or misinterpreted. And I don’t want to hurt anybody. And so I kind of keeps me held back a little bit like, but, you know, that’s part of

gross territory. I think, like, I can’t really do the way I really want to do if I’m not open to criticism, like I think about and you can say what you want about Tony Robbins like I’m not saying Tony Robbins is great or terrible, but I know people feel really decisively about him. They feel really decisively about him. Right? Yeah. Like and like, I don’t know how I feel about that. Like if I were I saw a tech talk the other day where somebody was like slamming Brene Brown she was harming people. I was like, I don’t follow her enough to like know what she’s saying but I don’t I think she’s just talking about being ashamed.

you have to really be okay being open to all that stuff. And I don’t know, maybe if I had pronase checking account, I would be like, well, like, you know what I mean, I can hire other people to scan the emails, and I don’t have to deal with it. Like, maybe that makes a difference. And maybe that’s why those people, maybe, so years ago,

years ago, I had a coach that I hired. And I might have talked about it on the show before, but I’m not going to get into who it was. But I, but later, she came out with a best selling book, and she’s had several best selling books. And when I wrote my book, I reached out to her and asked her to give me a quote. And she didn’t even respond to me, one of her people responded to me, which when I was working with her, she didn’t have people, you know. And so I remember I was like, I don’t want to ever be like that. But now I’m thinking maybe they have to be like that. Because there’s so many people coming at you all the time. Like, I even think now, sometimes the amount of messages I get, like, I have trouble responding. And that’s just me, you know, so maybe it’s, I don’t know, I know, this fear question has led into a whole diatribe about other things. But yeah, like, maybe there’s, yeah, maybe that comes with the territory. So I have to be prepared for that. And it’s, it’s fun. It’s you ever you’re always gonna have something to grow into, because that’s life, and it’s fun to grow through that. It’s fun when when you come out and yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we’re gonna stay in the same vein, and then we’ll and then we’ll switch. But what is your biggest struggle, and your biggest success when it comes to subconscious work?

My biggest struggle and my biggest success.

So my biggest,

I guess, I mean, I want to say they’re both the same, right? Because like my biggest struggle, so let me start with my biggest success.

So after my mom died, my dad got remarried. And my relationship with them was very stressful. And without going into it,

I developed a lot of patterns in reaction to the way that they were treating and talking to me. And those patterns that I created,

really have held me back a lot in my life. And for, like, 20 years, I went to therapy. And I’m, like a fan of therapy. And it didn’t help like it helped like the first six months because we like rehashed and I got to understand what was really happening. And I got to take some ownership of it, right? Even though I was young, like I, I can be empowered now that I have control.

But it didn’t like years of therapy, it just I just rethought about it.

Yeah, like rethought about it and rethought about it, and like really thought about it, and then thought about it in a new way. And then told some other new therapists all whole story again, do you know what do you mean? Like the whole damn thing? Let’s dive into it. But let me tell you what they said. You know what I mean? And so one day, like, I don’t know, nine years ago, maybe somebody said to me, have you ever gone? Have you ever had NLP on that? Neuro Linguistic Programming if you’re new here, right. So I was like, I mean, I heard all about that. But I was like, No, I mean, this is a big problem. Do you know what I mean? Like, this is a thing that has created all kinds of patterns in my life. And it’s why I don’t I’m not good at relationships. It’s why I’ve gotten divorced, you know, I mean, all this stuff. But they sometimes just, like, just meet with them and just see what happens. So I did, I hired the guy, which I’m, like, quick to hire, like if somebody says you should talk to so and so I’m talking to every shaman and like, Whatever, I’ll do it, you know, I’m hoping. So I got on phone with this guy. And then I don’t know, I mean, our session was 45 minutes, probably within 20 minutes. Like, I felt totally different. Like, I felt completely different. And it was so shocking to me, honestly, that I was like, What is this? Like, what? How did like cuz to me, he just was asking me questions, and then having me like, do things with, like, visualizing stuff. Like it wasn’t hard. I couldn’t.

And I remember I got off the phone and I was like, this was the I told Craig like that I just like I like I’m not mad like I don’t feel the heavy like I just don’t care. It’s really how I think I described it like I just don’t care, which seemed impossible after 20 years of like rehashing it. So

So, anyway, once I had that done, then I was like, I’m learning how to do that, like, I’m gonna learn how to do that. So I can keep doing it with myself, really, I think was the intention originally, and then like, then I’m like, I can help everybody else. And then I got obsessed. And then I was like, I’m gonna be a trainer, so I can train people to do it. And now, you know, with the Institute, we take people in that want to learn how to deal with other people, but also some people that just want to learn how to do it, like I did, and, and change themselves. Because I think the thing that these tools are so simple to use on yourself, where, like, if you’re a therapist, I think it’s hard to therapy yourself.

Right? Yeah. So I think like, my biggest thing was like overcoming that. And there’s always like, little remnants of it that I’ll find, you know what I mean, but it’s so different. I mean, it’s so different, like, and now I know what to do when I find a little remnant. I’m like, Oh, that’s interesting. Instead of like, that’s, like, this is terrible. Let me tell everybody about it. You know what I mean? Like, instead, it’s just like, a thing that I go, I just got to sweep the floor a little bit. Yeah, that’s awesome.

That I there is such a message i You say it all the time, like this, it can be fast. Like, it doesn’t have to be, like, years of rehab. And I like, I am so grateful for the people that sat there and listened to me fucking drone on excuse my language. Like, but like, like, it doesn’t have to be like that, like, we are sold this lie. That change has to take a long time. I mean, change takes 21 days. I mean, I’ve even heard that like, like, and we think that’s fast, but it can be 10 minutes. Yeah. And I always use the example of like an iron. You know, like, years ago, I remember my mom was ironing. And she used to drag the ironing board out into like, the living room area. And she’d put like her soaps on, like iron. And I remember I reached around and I hit the iron. I even think it was unplugged, but it was still super hot. And I mean, I even to this day, I will be so careful around an iron. Even if I’m pulling it out from like a cold closet, like you just don’t touch. I didn’t have to do it for 21 days. Like I just have to hit it once or a nanosecond.

So yeah, like change can be really, really fast when you do it in the right way. Yeah, so I burn all my clients.

I pull up iron now. But like it can be simpler. And I think there’s a really great place for therapists, especially with people that are not like typically normally organized. Right? Like my daughter needs a therapist, like, that’s what she needs. Yeah, different, you know, but like, sometimes once we get clear on what it is, it’s so much easier, just go up the mountain then like, stay at the bottom of the mountain in circle. Yes, yes. I think that it’s a good time to move on to some

ship a shift. So what is your process? What is your process when you bring a guest on your show? And then it says what are the steps to prepare. So I’m really picky about who I have on the show. Honestly, I get pitched almost every day.

And like I want people on that I really want to talk to and that I think are interesting or have a different like point of view. On episode 306. I went through like a whole process of like, how to be a good guest on a podcast. I’ve been pretty lucky because my guests are good guests. Because typically they’re like some people I know, in the real world, you know, or have met through like entrepreneurial groups or something where we have another connection. It’s not like they just pitched me.

But I think it’s really important if you’re a guest. And this is where like my fear of like showing up and being seen, I see this fear in other people. So especially in the beginning, people would become my guest on the show, like the first 50 episodes of the show we did were just like interviews, and then

those people wouldn’t always share it. Like they wouldn’t talk about it or share it. And I think it’s that I don’t want to be seen or I don’t want to look like I’m bragging or I don’t want to promote myself. But I’m like, I gave you like an hour on my show or for you know, 30 minutes on my show, which cost me money and cost me time and effort. Like just share it, like send out an email, you know, I mean, but I think my thing is like being a great guest, being a great guest is showing up and being like fully you like show up and shine, and then tell your audience about it.

You know, and then you can hear all about it on episode 306. That’s one of the points like

The point Yeah, but I think that the whole authenticity thing is really hard for people personally. Yeah. And, and maybe they look at, I guess they don’t because they’re so different than you but like, oh, it’s like competition. They’re gonna love her and stop listening to me or something. Oh, right. Yeah. Well, I typically I don’t have people on that arc, right? Like if you have a coaching program where you train people to NLP or hypnotherapy? Like no offense, I wish you well, but I don’t have you on because why would I promote you? Yeah, I mean, like, not in a mean way. But like, that. Doesn’t make good business sense. Yeah. Like, that doesn’t make sense. And if you’re aligned to somebody that listens to my show, they’ll hire you and not me. That’s okay. Yeah, like that. That’s okay. Like they’ll find you anyway. Does that make sense? What I’m saying is 100%. Yeah. So sticking with the podcast theme. Okay. What are the apps programs you use to record edit, publish your podcast? I think there’s so many easier ways to do it than the way I do it. Like I think you could do that sounds perfect to me that I feel like I choose the hardest way. I choose artist. But I think it’s because I started my show so long ago, at the time when I started my show, which did you know, I had another podcast?

I did? Yes. Only because I know things. Yeah. You know, things. This is why you’re my magical unicorn because you know that. So um, yeah, I had another podcast, it only had like seven episodes. And it was right after I wrote my book become a nutrition ninja. And it was like the goal setting ninja because really, I wanted, I didn’t want like, whatever it didn’t last long. The point is, so then at that time, then I was like, I really want to do a podcast. That’s more like what we’re doing now. And Pat Flynn, which he’s still around, I think, Pat Flynn at the time had this really long blog post about all every single step to start a podcast. And I think that blog post had like affiliate links in it at the time. Do you know what I mean? So he was making money, but the blog, I mean, it was like 10s and 10s of 1000s of people. I think now he might do a course or had at some point. Anyway, my point is I followed the steps on his blog post, which is really kind of convoluted, like I host it with something called Lipson. And then I post the link on Lipson on my website with a blueberry app. That’s an embedded plugin in my website. And then I set it up. So iTunes scans the feed of the blueberry app that is produced by my podcast or my website when that goes live. Like it’s not a it is not a healthy setup. It’s like one of those you remember when Twitter when recently when they were like Twitter’s gonna break at any second, like it’s all put together with band aids.

Do you this is what I heard that when they were like, the the people that have been banned dating, Twitter have been fired. And Twitter is teetering on that. I was like, Oh, I know. That’s reminiscent of my podcasts. But it works. It works. And so, you know, we’ll keep doing it. If one day you show up and you’re like, where’s but these podcasts, just know, it’ll be back in a day or two, I’d have to figure out a workaround and get a big band aid.

First of all, I love that Twitter was teetering. Like that just makes me happy. I’m on Twitter.

Because

Twitter love language. Yeah, I had Twitter once years ago. And then I stopped having Twitter. And I don’t know, I just, I didn’t have any. Like, when I came back to Twitter, then I had like three followers and I just felt stupid.

And I wasn’t tweeting, so I wouldn’t have any more followers. But I was just like,

I just don’t get it. I know. Yeah. There’s a lot of things I don’t get though. So it’s okay. Yeah. Okay, so

we’re going deep again, we’re off podcast and we’re wanting to know what is your Enneagram?

Oh, okay. So I am not. I’m not super aware of like the Enneagram and how it works and all of that, but I do know what I am heading on because I pulled up from years ago.

What do you think I am? Are you familiar with it? I I think I’m a seven. That’s all I remember. I don’t I know nothing? I don’t know. Okay, what is the seven? Let me just see if I can do you know what it is? No. And I think that’s just a number that I remember. Yeah, it could be wrong. Wait, hang on. I’m just I’m googling. I’m gonna Google it. A seven is

An enthusiast.

I feel like that kind of matches you. Okay, well then let’s go with that one. Okay, so mine is. So I’m just googling. Mine is a three.

Let’s take a big deep breath. Okay, it’s an achiever. Are you ready? For the description? Yeah. self assured, attractive and charming. Which all of that I’m going to accept. Okay. It’s true, ambitious, competent, and energetic. But here’s where we get sketch. Okay, you’re ready. Yeah. So they can also be status conscious and highly driven for advancement, typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness. That is so me. And I look at that, and I’m like, I don’t necessarily like that. But that’s very much me and I have actually work on like, my dad was a real workaholic growing up,

super into work and was on like, every board, every school board every like, he did all of that stuff. And so I think that I definitely attach my worth to success. And I’ve noticed if there’s any questions, my success, like, for example, like my, my in laws, or even my dad sometimes don’t understand the work that I do. Right? Because it’s like, if you’re in your 80s, like, it doesn’t make sense. Like, let’s be honest, you know what I mean? Like, you’re on the Internet, what? And I get, it makes me like, really makes me crazy. Like, I like I like, I should just like, let it go. Like,

I have a huge problem with it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, like a huge problem. And the competitiveness, I don’t feel like I have that if you’re not competing with me. But if we’re in like, like when I was in sales, and they would be like, you know, the top performer this week wins a pack of paper clips, I would be like, I am going to win. Yes. Like that kind of competitiveness. But I’m not like that. I want every coach to do good because I believe in abundance. Yeah. But if I’m put in a position where we’re racing down the street, like I will, I will, I will win. I will tell you, I will cut you. So yeah. And so. So then when I read that, it kind of fits me. You know, I mean, we I don’t know that. Um, I don’t know that. That’s bad, though. No, I don’t. I don’t what what does integrum based on Do you know?

I took the task, but I don’t really remember. I know that there. I should have somebody on. That would be a great episode. If you’re listening and you are really good. At any go. Yeah, I don’t. I know. They just like asked you a ton of questions. And that’s how it comes up.

Not like astrological. That’s your design or something. Right? Yeah. No. There’s a peacemaker, the challenger, the enthusiast, the loyalist, the investigator, the individualist, the achiever, the helper and the reformer. That was kind of going backwards, nine to one. Oh, wow. But yeah. And there’s like side wings, isn’t there? There’s like with a wing. I’m a seven with a with a three wing. Oh, no, I feel then the human design, but maybe it’s like human.

Like literally, I don’t know, somebody needs to come on and talk about it. I downloaded a book about it years ago and just never listened to it. That’s interesting. Interesting that someone asked you that too. Yeah, I Okay. So here’s something that I do is I’ll buy a book from Audible. And then if it’s too long, okay, let’s talk about this. If it’s too long, like if it says if I download it, and then it’s like 15 hours, I immediately know what I immediately know.

And so, recently,

recently, I

saw a I think, probably a tickety tock, I think cook clack, about people that when they did that kind of thing, and not that specifically, but like if something takes too, like they need short tasks, they have a sense of accomplishment, which not only goes into my achiever thing because 15 hours is a long time to achieve it. If it’s three hours I could finish it today and have success.

See, also I look for the longest ones because I want the most bang for my buck. Like I you’re not given me three hours for my credit. This book over here gives me 20 hours for my credit. Oh, yes. Which makes total sense.

Also, I think this might be an ADHD thing.

Do you know what I saw? I saw something on tick tock. Do you? Do you know anything about ADHD? Are you down do are you clear on like, I Yeah, I’m a teacher. So like, yeah, and all of my family

Me, it’s, I tell them all the time, like, you don’t need to go diagnose yourself. You’re born into it like it’s like, yeah. And like everybody in your lineage, but yeah, adapt and overcome people, we got this.

So I saw this tick. So I always sleep on my left hand side, okay? To a point where it can be a problem. Like when I used to go get my eyelashes done, I stopped getting my eyelashes done, in part because the lady would always yell at me because my eyelashes would be all like scrunched to the side. If I was because I sleep on my left hand side constantly. I also do this really weird thing with my hands. I do like this, like so that my hands are very like, if you guys can’t see but like, folded in like I fooled in and I saw this tick tock and they were like, does anybody else do dinosaur hands? That’s a sign of ADHD. I was just saying, You look like a T Rex. Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh my god, I do dinosaur hands. And they were like, and sleep on your left hand side. Like that’s a that’s a thing.

Interesting. I felt like kind of validated. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Well, and

like, now this is like, not the same realm. But when you get a diagnosis for like something that is making you feel a certain way it gives you comfort. Yeah. Validation. Yeah, that like I’m not crazy thinking that this is happening. Yeah. Yeah. But dinosaur hands are cute, because you know, T Rex. Yeah.

And I can do my own lashes. I don’t need that lady yelling at me. Every time I go in. I’d be like, Oh, just don’t mention it. Why don’t I put the note put a note in my file. Don’t mention the scrunched up lashes. Yeah, I’m glad you stopped that. Yeah. That’s all

that’s all we answer the question. We are complete. We are complete.

It was nothing wrong with me. It was timing. What? That questions and then perfect timing. You must have done this before. I know.

So good. Everything and this was a long episode. I hope that people hung with us. There’s a lot going on. We went we went from the depths of despair with my daughter to the problems I have with eyelashes. Yeah. And all of your wisdom with Abraham. We need to have you on more where we taught like really get into like the Abraham stuff. And and like, I know that you have like very specific things that you think and sometimes I most of the time I know you’re right. Even if some of the time I it makes me uncomfortable.

That’s

that’s really my life skills, making people uncomfortable. Like it’s on my resume. Love you. Yeah, but we need to have you on where we like really dive into it. I’m toads down to that. You know, I’m obsessed. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what would be fun? And I’m just throwing it out there. But if somebody had an issue, someone has a problem. I’m gonna like, I want you to like,

it’s got to be somebody that’s familiar with Abraham. Right? But I want you to like Abraham Hicks them. Yeah, because they’ll get offended. You’re really good at that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This was fun. Thank you for coming on. Thank you. Magical Unicorn heart hands.

Alright, everybody, thank you so much for hanging with us. Thanks for listening to this week’s episode. If you have a question for an Ask Me Anything episode, send it our way. And yeah, we’ll see you next week. I love you guys so much. Bye. Bye.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media. I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tiktok. It’s just my name Betsy pake and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM, shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.

In this episode Betsy shares how to impact your reality so you can begin to experience something new, something magical and something that speaks to your greatest vision for your life.

Transcript:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big

hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show today. So my windows are open. I can hear the birds like I’m so happy. I feel like it is signs of spring on its way. I mean, we are already in February, right? Yeah, February. Oh, my gosh, I feel like this year is like hustling hard moving through things really fast. And I’m not mad about it. I kind of like it kind of feels good. I remember other years, I think it was last year, two years ago. I don’t know. Because of COVID. I feel like I lost a lot of time. But I remember there was a January where everybody was talking about how long it was. And it was like August, but it was still January, not this year. Like it’s moving right along. Okay, so I want to tell you about this. And I might have mentioned this before, if you’re in my Facebook group, which is if you put in the art of living big.com, it’ll forward you right to the Facebook group. But it’s called The Art of Living big community.

So if you’re in there, you know, I’ve been doing this, this, like little challenges. And I think I’ve talked about it on the show. But basically, the idea was like, I didn’t know that I had some like, big overarching goal for the year. And it felt good to not have one. And I wanted to have new experiences. Like that was really what it was about, I wanted to have new experiences. And so I know the best way to do that is to change little things. And so I thought I’m going to do these little challenges. And so every month I have a new challenge, and I share it with everybody. And then

yeah, and then people can join me if they want to or do their own version of it or, or just watch what happens. So last month, the live big project challenge was doing like a intention, but in a really specific way.

And then this month,

it is seven days of dance parties. Now the interesting thing about this was, I’ve always been one to do intentions, I’ve always been one to do dance parties, like turn on music and just like let music move through me. But what’s different is that I’m doing it seven days in a row intentionally. And what I have found is that well, two things I found. One is that I would do the dance parties when I felt good.

Right? Like I would do a dance party because I’d feel good. And I’d be like, I’m going to put on music and dance around. Or if I was like, had been working and sitting. And so I would stand up and then I’d be like, let me do a dance party and move my body around.

But having it as a seven day thing where I have to wear I have to do it. Seven days in a row, right? I mean, that’s the challenge I’m choosing to

makes me do it at times where I wouldn’t have. And what I realized was I do dance parties when I’m happy. But what I need to be doing as dance parties, when I’m not as happy, right when I’m like struggling or when it’s hard. And I’ll tell you that, like last couple days, I just haven’t felt very good. And I’m just kind of rundown and not sleeping great. And in the morning, I’m like, Okay, I gotta get going, I got to give me that other cup of coffee, and I’m gonna get to work. And I’ve been working on this really huge project.

If you’re a therapist, I’ve got something for you coming. But I’ve been, I’ve been I’ve been working on this huge project. And when I started the project, they said it’s going to take eight weeks, and I was like, I’m gonna do it in three. And so I have been, like, just nose down doing this, like I canceled appointments with people, I cancelled. Like those times I’ll meet up with friends that are entrepreneurs and touch base and like all of that cancelled. Like, hey, I’m focused, right? And so in the morning, I’m like, I gotta get to work and I’m like, no, no, I gotta have a dance party. And the couple days where I really didn’t feel like doing it were the days where it honestly had the biggest impact. It rose my vibration now, I want to tell you why this is important also. Now that ice

are talking the leaf blowers have come outside? You know, I think I’ve mentioned that before that the leaf blowers only come when I’m recording Hang on one second. Oh my goodness, okay, so everything’s closed up. So now, you shouldn’t be able to hear the leaf blowers. But here’s why that’s really important is because how I am creating,

how we are doing, the thing that gets us to the end result

is how we experience the end result.

So let me say it this way, if you have a goal in mind, and you are struggling to get to the goal, and you are like pushing, and it’s uncomfortable, and you hate it, and you’re like, I just have to get to the end, when you get to the end, it’s going to feel bad.

But if you are creating and having fun, and even when things are going sideways, you’re like there’s something to learn. And I am flowing with all of this. And it’s hard. So I’m going to stop and have a dance party,

the end result is going to feel better, the end result is going to feel good, the result you’re you get will be different.

And I know, you know, I’ve had people argue with

I remember years ago, I was in a group that was like NLP master prac group. And, and somebody that was like a, somebody I looked up to in the group was like arguing with me about that. And I was like, oh, no, like, you’re missing the whole thing. Like, I know, we say like it is the journey. But it’s not just because most of our life is the journey. Right? Most of the time, we’re in the journey, the goal comes, and honestly what happens to you, when you hit the goal, what happens immediately, probably you pick a new goal, like the next thing. Now I want this thing, which is totally normal. We are like,

seeking that we are, you know, pieces of consciousness that are seeking variety. So it makes sense that that’s what you would do. But if that’s true, most of the time, we’re in the getting of the goal,

the journey, and I kind of hate that the whole thing, like it’s all about the journey, like, but the truth is, is that we’re in it most of the time. But the end result,

the end result is indicative of how the journey went.

You know, this weekend, my husband and I went to go check out this little town. If you follow me on Instagram, you saw me posting about it. It was like this little Hallmark town. I mean, it was so cute.

It was it was just this little like

it was this little town, I wouldn’t even say it’s a suburb of Atlanta, it’s outside of Atlanta, but it’s hardly a suburb, I don’t think people that live there, come into the city to work. And I’m not sure if you’ve been here a while maybe you heard me say my husband got a new job at a new DHS office that’s outside the city. So this little town is on the other side of that, right? So he would be coming in instead of going out.

And we thought like maybe there’s something there, like maybe finding the place where we want to be

is, is like is is really good. You know, maybe that’s like we spend the next six months and we just go check out little places and see where we want to be. And I have actually really liked being where we are. And I realized that we were starting to talk about the things we didn’t like about where we are. Because we were getting contrast, right? We were comparing and say, Well, I really don’t like this, I want to be able to let the dog out the backyard. So I really think we want to buy a house not a condo, right? So like getting that clarity.

But I also realized, we have to really pay a lot of attention to appreciate and celebrate and be happy right where we are. Because if we hate where we are, we’re going to bring that uncomfortableness wherever we go. And now that I think it’s such a tangible

explanation or tangible example. And you might be thinking now, like if you don’t like where you are, you go somewhere else, and then you’re better.

But what would happen is we’d buy a little house, right with a backyard, and then there’d be a hole in the fence or the cupboards in the kitchen would be a weird configuration or I would, we’re attracting where we are. So even though I want to be able to find the contrast and say this could be improved. It would feel fun to be able to let Henry the dog out the backyard in the morning. And so we started changing how we were saying instead of a

hate not being able to let Henry outside, it’s such an inconvenience in the morning. Instead, we started saying, it would feel so fun to be able to just open the door and let Henry out, well, we got ready in the morning, and he could play outside, or you’re gonna have a doggie door and he could go in and out that feels so good. Do you see how that’s different from like, hating where you are. And so going back to the dance party,

like when we are in a place where we’re working on something, and we’re struggling, or we hate our boss, or somebody’s driving us crazy, or a project is really hard, or you got too many projects,

have the dance party rate light in it, because you’re going somewhere,

you’re going somewhere and where you’re going, is going to look a lot like where you are.

If you’re on my text in my text community, so if you’re in the US or Canada, you can just text me just text Hello, or live bigger, whatever 2770343 3409. And then like once a week, usually once a week, unless I have nothing to tell you. I won’t just I won’t just text you for no reason. But I will send out a message that I get in my deep streaming. So this morning’s message is so aligned with all of that, and really what I wanted to talk to you about. And here’s the message, I’m just gonna read it.

Yesterday’s action got you here, release its hold on you decide what reality you choose and take the actions to meet that where it is, your next reality will follow with so much more ease than it would take to stop and detangle the past.

Because we get here, and then we’re like, Ah, I gotta figure all that out. But maybe, maybe detangling all of the things that have had a hold on you isn’t necessary. Maybe you could just say, You know what the reason I’m in this position right now, the reason I’m where I am. Because I didn’t have enough dance parties. The reason I’m where I am, is because of everything that I’ve done in the past. Everything that I’ve thought every buddy that I’ve spent time with every everything. That’s what today is it’s not what I’m doing right now. The experience that I’m having right now is based on all this past stuff. So I can just say

this, I this is I’m the contrast of this is no. So I’m gonna go ahead and just let it go, I’m gonna have a dance party, and I’m going to focus on the reality that I want. And then that reality will start to come to you, it’ll start to find its way to you. You don’t have to detangler undo all of the other stuff.

You can just focus on where it is you want. Now,

is that an oversimplification? Right, because you might be like, I have trauma I have. Yes, I, I understand. There have been things that I have had to release, right, a lot of, you’ve probably I mean, you’ve probably heard me talk about it.

Having to like overcome, and, and, and shift a lot of things and release negative emotion and all of that thing. All of those things, I think have a lot of lot of value. I also think in every day,

if we’re looking at where we are, and we’re like, I don’t like this cool. Pick what else you want. Pick and have a dance party, put it in the cosmic cosmic crock pot, and just put your roller skates on.

I think and I’m including myself in this 1,000%. But I think that we make it way too hard.

So what I’ve been noticing, since I’ve been doing the dance parties is that I’m not

it has become the clarity to notice the hunches and where I have to take action. So you know, lots of times people ask me like, Well, okay, well, if I’m supposed to take aligned action to get to where I want to go, how do I know?

And, and I and I have struggled with this too. There have been times where it is so clear. Last year, remember when I went to Iceland, I mean, I knew like it was like a wave that came over me like this is what I’m supposed to do.

And I had something recently that happened where I was on an airplane and I was getting ready to go. I was when I was getting ready to go to Baltimore.

And I got this wave of that’s what I’m supposed to do. And so I started doing it and focused on it.

winning all in, all in, I’m not trying to, I’m not second guessing I’m not thinking about it, I’m just nose down and working on making it happen. Because I got that wave, because I got into the vibration of where it was.

I talk about this a lot. But you know, there are infinite number of things happening around us all the time, but your brain, my brain, our brains cannot process it.

can’t process it. So your unconscious mind is taking in all this information and it has to sift through. So it’s almost like if you could imagine like a big a mailroom, and all this mail is like coming down the chute. And your unconscious mind is standing there. As all this mail is coming in the chute. And it’s sorting and sifting through and stuff to the right to the left to the right to the left. And it’s making a decision really, really fast. Because it has to because your life depends on it. And it knows if a package comes down that’s green. And you always take the green packages like it knows as soon as it sees green, it’s like give it to her. This is I don’t have to think too much about this. I already know that’s a safe package. Right? It’s got glitter on it. She likes that throw it to her. Right. So sorting, sorting, sifting, sorting, sifting, sorting, sifting. So you’re always getting the same thing.

You’re always getting the same thing. Think about it. I mean, I’m including myself, I gotta tell you the reason I’m even thinking about all this stuff is because I’m in because I’m including myself, okay, so my brain does that to that is totally normal.

But if I want

to have something new, if I want my reality look to look different.

It’s not

because it’s not available.

It’s not not happening because you don’t get that kind of option. That’s not it. The reason it’s not happening is because you’re sorter and sifter is giving you what it thinks you want. And why it thinks you want that is because you’re so focused on all the past and detangling all the crap that it’s like that’s familiar.

So if you started really dance, partying it up and celebrating right where you are

getting really into that high vibe thing.

Then your unconscious mind is going to be sorting and sifting going after she likes dance parties, she likes all the stuff on the level of a dance party. Which might mean it’ll mean something different to everybody. Right? To me, it’ll mean ease at work more fun, travel adventure, cool people coming into my experience, right? Like that’s like, like fun, everyday stuff I want. I sure I want like a big huge trip to the beach like Yeah, but more even more, even more. I want like adventure in the every day.

Miracles. Life should be one miracle after another every single day.

My sorter and sifter has to know that I’m looking for the packages that have sparkle.

And if I’m focused on all the crap, and I’m gonna wake up, and I’m overtired, and I’m focused on that, I mean, then that what that means is that I’m human.

That’s what it means.

But you’re not listening because you’re like everybody else.

Like that. I know. 1,000%

you’re listening, because you know that there’s potential in you that’s untapped.

You know, that there’s like genius in you that can find and sift and sort to bring you miracle after miracle after miracle. You wouldn’t be listening to this. You’re on the vibration of this with me.

Because that’s who you are.

So

dance party it up. It’s a way to begin to shift what the sifter and sorters looking for what the skin what what it’s scanning for. Maybe just for a little while, stop to untangle your past stop worrying about it.

And just say my reality right now is because of what I used to do,

but out now, today, I’m creating the new thing magic is coming to me today, because I’m creating the new thing now.

The experience that I might have like this hour is because of yesterday, because I put a bunch of stuff into the sifter and sorter program.

But now I’m, I’m, I’m changing and I’m allowing new things to come in the

I’m welcoming new things, and I’m scanning for new things. And I’m getting excited and delighted. In every day, little things.

This morning, I walked over to the grocery store, because I’ve been working on this project and like, I mean, like 12 hours a day, like really working on it. And it’s, and I say working. It’s like, I’ve been having so much fun with it.

And yesterday, I had no food like I was,

I’ve been on this little bread making thing. So I had like, some bread from the other day, but I was like, oh my god, I can’t like keep eating bread.

I was like, I gotta go get food. So this morning, I got up. And I mean, I was tired, I got cramps. I just was like, I don’t dance party, dance party. And then I walked over to the store. And then I started to notice, like, the air felt really good. It felt good or walk, like I could feel my muscles. And I felt it felt good to like move. Like my hips, it felt good to move my hips. I think maybe because I’ve been sitting so much, you know, I’ve been standing and sitting at a standing desk, stand, sit, stand, sit, but it doesn’t matter. You’re still standing in one place. So it felt good to like move, you know. So I started noticing that

I got some new elastic that I’ve used as shoelaces, and my Chuck Taylors, so I don’t have to tie my shoes, I can just slip them on and off.

It’s it feels so fun to me. Right. So I just celebrated, like looking down and seeing these

crazy laces. And I think it’s fun. I think it’s fun that I don’t have to tie my shoes anymore.

I found it fun to like walk over to the grocery store, it was fun to be able to walk and carry my bag. And it was fun to walk around. Nobody was in there. It was so early, it felt fun to be in the grocery store with nobody, I got to look at all the stuff and the labels and see new stuff without feeling rushed. Or like I was in somebody’s way.

There was a woman that was there in the frozen food section when I was getting my frozen fruit. And she asked me if I’d ever had these kinds of chicken nuggets.

And I told her that those are plant based. And she didn’t really speak English. And so

I felt like she was really struggling, you know, in the store. And one of the things that makes me happiest is if someone asks for my help. So I got to show her how there was a little plant on it. So that whole section was vegetarian. She knew what the word vegetarian, she didn’t know what I meant when I said plant. And so I showed her the other chicken nuggets that were actually chicken. And she was so appreciative. And then I saw her in a couple other aisles and she said thank you again for that one little chicken nugget thing. And I realized that we’re moving so quickly, we don’t notice each other you know what I mean? Like we don’t offer to help or be part of it, because we’re so focused on like, kind of what’s going wrong. You know what, how we gotta get this thing gonna get to the next thing.

But the dance party started shifted, it made me in a really good mood. There was other people in the aisle, but the lady chose me.

Because I felt different.

Right? It wasn’t proximity. Other people had been closer.

Right. So that was something that I that was was really fun. So there is little fun things miracles miracle after miracle after miracle happening.

And so we just have to remember it. So get in the space, where you remember getting the space where you’re having a lot of fun in the journey and you’re experiencing all of the goodness that’s happening right now, you will reprogram your sifter and sorter to give you more of that. And when you do, the journey becomes so much more fun.

That the goal just comes naturally.

And that is how I think you live a big life. I love you guys so much. Thank you for being here. And I will see you guys next week. Bye.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute, but to make it really easy if you want me

Hey Just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service Thanks again for listening and I will see you all next week

In todays episode Betsy shares what she’s been up to the past two weeks and how she can feel herself craving something new…. but she’s got responsibilities right where she is. You may feel that too, a longing for something new but unsure of even what it is.
She shares what she’s doing to combat this feeling while still keeping her responsibilities in the forefront.

If you’d like to attend the money bootcamp inside The Collective, and dive in before the price increase that will happen March 1st, check it out right here: www.betsypake.com/collective

Transcripts:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big

hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. All right. Okay, so there’s a lot to cover. There’s a lot to talk about. Alright, so last week, I missed a show. So let’s talk about that first. Because, like I’ve said in previous episodes, it’s sort of like when someone texts you and you don’t text back, or when you text somebody and they don’t text back, right? And then you’re like, What are you doing? Why are you ignoring me? And that’s how it feels when I skip when I skip an episode. But I want to, I want to tell you why. And I want to tell you what’s been happening and what’s been going on. And hopefully, you’ll see a piece of yourself in this and and can relate and I’ll tell you kind of what I’m doing. So last week, I had two speaking engagements outside of town. So if you’re fairly new here, hi, welcome. But I live in Atlanta, Georgia. So I had two speaking engagements in Baltimore. Now, I grew up in Vermont, and one of my really good several of my really good friends from high school. Live outside Baltimore. So I called my friend Jen. I was like, I’m going to be coming up. Can I come a day early and spend the day with you, you know, spend the night and then I’ll go to the hotel on Sunday night. Okay. So my speaking engagements were Monday and Wednesday. So I went up instead of on Sunday, I went up on Saturday. I know it’s a lot of detail, but just hang with me here. So we went up on Saturday. She picked me up at the airport. I mean, it was it was so much fun. You know, when I saw her last year, like last April, when I went to Vermont when our other friend’s mom was passing away, but I hadn’t seen her since. And, you know, the last time it wasn’t like a fun thing. And so it was so fun to get to see her and we just laughed and got caught up. And we looked at the old yearbooks, and laughed. I’m telling you the the the kids in my high school, the the kids, the guys looked like grown men. I don’t know that I remember that. But I was looking at it. I was like, why do they look so old? So we had a lot of really good laughs about people that we just didn’t realize, you know, when you leave, and then you look back, and you’re like, I didn’t realize that was the all the kids were like, so huge. But I think it’s because they were farmers, you know,

that’s my thought anyway, you know, like they were working on the farm. since they were little. So anyway, we’re hanging out, we realize we’re we’re making all the same tic tock recipes. I mean, it was just really, really fun. Like, like for my soul, kind of fun, you know. And then the next day, we went into Baltimore, where one of my friends lives with his husband, and we went out to lunch with them. And they’re so fun. And it was just like, really, really nice. And then I went back to the hotel, or went to the hotel. In the morning, I had my speaking engagement. And then the next day was free. And so I had actually posted inside the Facebook group and I sent an email to my email list, just telling them I was going to be in Baltimore in case anybody lived in Baltimore, and like wanted to get together for lunch, which was awesome. And some people came and it was so fun to meet like internet friends in real life. And so that was just really, really nice. And then on Wednesday morning, I did my next event. And that was like that went amazingly and was really fun. And then, that was Wednesday, I was done at like noon. It was my daughter’s 21st birthday. And so I had to race home, fly home, get home, spend a little bit of time with her for her birthday. And then we were going to celebrate more over the weekend. And then a couple days later, it was my husband’s birthday. So like, and I was getting caught up on all these like emails and things I missed and it was just like so hectic. And so then I was like, oh, I need a podcast episode. Because if you remember I used to have the podcast editor that would have me do like three weeks in advance, but I didn’t always like that just didn’t work.

For me mentally. But neither does this because I missed consciously. It was sort of like a conscious uncoupling. But it was like a conscious skipping. I was like, for my mental health

I need to not put my the pressure on myself to get this done right now. I I’m back in town, it’s my daughter’s birthday. Like I would have had to record it, like the evening of her birthday because I didn’t even fly until like six o’clock at night. And I just felt like you guys would understand. So anyway, that’s that is what has been happening over the past two weeks, just hectic, hectic and I. And I’m wondering, because I think we’re all

we’re all so similar in like our experiences and things that are happening. The whole month of January seemed like it really flew by. And I started thinking maybe that’s just like January seem like they fly by. But I remember two years ago,

two years ago, in January, I felt like it would never end. I remember there were a memes out that were like, Oh, my God, this is never the never ending month, like how was it already August in the middle of January, like we’re, it just seemed like it took forever. And so I knew that it seeming like it’s going by super fast. isn’t necessarily typical, not not typical. But that’s not always how it goes, you know. And I have felt like I am like running and racing. And I’m in the middle of a couple of big projects. putting together some trainings for you guys, if you’re interested in those that we’re going to have free on the website, but But it’s taking me hours and hours and hours to put them together. I want them to be really good and to like be informative and mean something you know, not just something I’m throwing up there. And so

I am I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself like to make things really good. And yeah, so that’s kind of taken, like a lot of my energy and my focus. So here’s what I wanted to share with you. I wanted to just share with you this thought, because maybe you’re where I am right now, where it seems like things are moving really fast. There’s a lot to do. And also.

And also it feels like there’s like I’m running, but I’m not sure where I’m running to. Do you feel that? Like, I feel like something really important is coming, but I don’t necessarily know what that is. And I’m also finding myself, like really longing for like something

maybe like a new environment. You know, last year, I traveled a lot, a lot. I mean, at the end of the year, my my travel app told me I was gone 97 Nights last year. So like, I was exposed to a lot of new things, like new experiences and, and new things for my nervous system. And, and since November when I went to North Carolina, I guess was my last trip

that I haven’t gone anywhere I went to Baltimore, but that was the first time and I can feel like my nervous system really like getting, I don’t know, bored maybe like there, I want something else. But I’ve got these big projects, like I’ve got to hunker down, right? So there’s this push and pull between what I feel like my soul is wanting, and what I’m consciously committed to doing that I’ve got to do every day, right? Do you know those times where you’re like, I don’t know, I want something different. But I’m committed to this. And I have to do this one I have to follow through. And I think both both things are important. You know, when I look at my values, it’s, it’s important to me to follow through to do what I said I was going to do even, especially if I said it to myself, right? Because nobody’s holding my feet to the fire to like, do this big project. But I decided that that was what was next. And so

I’ve had to like really balance this, like doing that work and staying focused on that work. And also how can I expand and get new experiences and start to, like, satisfy that part of me? And, you know, I’m sure that as you’re listening to this, you’re like, I think this makes sense. Like there’s times where I don’t want to go to work, I want to go to the beach or I want to go to the mountains or I want to do whatever that is. And I think that there’s a fine line between is it my intuition telling me to do that? Right

or is it just like something that I’m wanting this new stimulation, like, just my nervous system is used to that, and it’s scanning for that. And so I wanted to kind of share with you how I am kind of navigating that, and trying it and giving myself everything that I need. Okay? Because we think, like, I can’t do everything that I want, I can’t have it all. So here’s, let me say this in a different way to lay this out.

I’m working on this big huge project, it takes a tremendous amount of time and focus, and I’m sitting at my desk a lot. my nervous system has really been primed to have a lot of new experiences. And so I find myself kind of restless and, and a yearning for something new. But I’m not in a position right now, where I can just go to the beach for a week, or a month. Well, I mean, I could, I’m not going to go to the beach for a month. Because I really want to stay here and focus in on this project, right? My big computer is here, like, all my resources are here. Like it will be easier if I do this here. Okay.

But What’s is it my intuition, telling me to get out? I don’t think so. And here’s how I know is because when I sit quiet, it feels really good to get this project done. When I sit and I asked myself, like, what if I could have one thing right now, what would it be? And it would be like to have this project be so great. So that’s really what’s aligned.

So since I am not in a place where I want to go away for a month to Iceland, or to Norway, or wherever, even though my nervous system kind of wants that, and that’s why I feel edgy. I’m trying to do.

I’m trying to plan excursions like day excursions. So

we have a Korean bathhouse here. Have you guys ever been to one it’s like, the one here is, it’s called Jgu. And if you ever come to Atlanta, it’s, it’s kind of a cool place to go. But it’s huge. And you buy a pass to get in, it’s like 35 bucks. And then once you get in there, in the locker room, there’s like pools and hot tubs and stuff that are gender specific. So you just be with women. And then they do massages in there and

scrubs and stuff like that. Or you can change they give you like these orange jumpsuits, which kind of makes it look like I’m in a whole place with a bunch of prisoners, but we get these orange outfits. And then you go out into the main, like concourse. And there are all these huts, like salt hut, Crystal hut, and they’re beautiful made out of crystals made out of huge slabs of Himalayan salt and they’re saunas. So there’s like four big ones, there’s an ice room, there’s a place where you can go get a foot massage, there’s a cafeteria, there’s an a pool, like a big pool for everybody. Like, it’s a fun place where you go, it’s open 24 hours. So when you buy that pass, you get a whole day there.

And I like to go and I bring my, my headphones. And I can just lay there and meditate. You know, you can get these little pillows and like I just lay at the bottom if you saw my Instagram, where I’m like sitting, it looks like I’m sitting in meditation. Really, I’m when I go I’m like splayed out on the floor. But that was a photo. So we made it look good. But like just like having a new experience, right, like doing something totally different. And I have gone there. And I’m going to go again next week. And it’s so relaxing. And it gives my nervous system that’s something else, which has been really helping me. The other thing is,

is when Mike was my daughter’s birthday, we were like, Let’s go someplace we’ve never gone like let’s go to a part of town we never go to you know some things so that it’s totally new, unfamiliar so that my nervous system gets that like unfamiliar. Now here’s the thing is that it also gives you like content. And by content. I mean like something for your brain to be thinking about as you’re doing other things. So, as I’m building this, this working on this project and building this thing, like does it matter that I go to a different restaurant? Well, yeah, might because there might be a story there. There might be like something I see that sparks an idea or a memory. So like expanding outside of where I have what I’m used to,

can change everything. You know, when we’re doing the things that we always do

And I love consistency I love like all of that, right.

But when we do that,

less and less of that experience become becomes conscious. That’s what can we have to say, like be mindful, come back into your awareness, because you don’t have to. Because the way I make the coffee is always the way I make coffee. And I don’t have to think about it because it is in my unconscious mind, my unconscious knows how to do it. Right, the way I make the bed, I don’t even remember making the bed in the morning. But I know I do it because it’s always made.

Now, if I stay in the place of where I am, in what I’m always doing, I’m going to, I’m going to, like always do it in the same exact way. And I’m not going to be aware of new ideas, new concepts, new content, right. And so sometimes if I mix it up, it brings me back into awareness. Now, let’s say that you’re listening, and you’re like, Well, I would like to feel a little energized, and to be brought back into awareness. But I have to work. And then I got to come home and do all the things I got to do at home. And I’m busy and I can’t, I can’t leave for the day and go to J juice spa. Right? It’s sit there with no an orange jumpsuit, you can just change the way you’re doing your morning,

it’s going to feel uncomfortable, but you can try to make it fun. So when you when you change it, it has to become conscious, because it’s not going to be running unconsciously. And I’m talking like, brush your teeth with a different hand. Right? Eat breakfast first and then shower, if you always shower and then eat breakfast, like anything that you do to start to like shake up the pattern will bring you into awareness, because you can’t just be running it the way it always goes. So

so.

So I wanted to share that, because I’m wondering if you’re feeling stuck or stagnant. Or maybe you have a big project that you really want to do. But it’s like, oh, like it’s, it’s taxing. And so your brains like please give me something else to do besides this thing you’ve been doing for the last, you know, 35 hours.

Just mix it up. This morning. I went in my building and you guys might remember this, if you’ve been here a while you might remember me saying when I moved into my building.

It was at a time where I was asking for free Starbucks for the from the universe where I was like, I want to get free Starbucks. And I started getting random free Starbucks. Do you guys remember this? I would like pull up to the Starbucks window and the barista would like hand me a Starbucks and be like, you can have this like they were confused of why they were doing it. It was wild. And I had been in my building like a week when I got an email that said, we’re installing a free Starbucks machine. So you could just go get Starbucks. I mean, I’ve I felt like even though it was just coffee, and I should have been scanning for a jillion air money. I got free coffee, I could have access to free coffee every day for the past two years. And that’s what I asked for. But I rarely go down there and get it because it’s just like I’m in my pajamas and I get my coffee, whatever. This morning, I was like, I’ve got to have something new. You know, like, I got to do something different. And so I was like, I’m gonna go downstairs and get the Starbucks coffee, which it really does taste better. You know. So I was like, I know I’m in my pajamas. But

I feel like everybody in my building knows me. I threw on a sweatshirt and I was like, well, we’re going down. And I went down and got my coffee. It’s a small thing. But it already made my morning feel different, gave my brain something else. So if you’re feeling stagnant, if you’re feeling stuck, uninspired, you’re like, oh, life, I mean, I know in the cold weather of, you know, January, February, depending on where you live, like it can feel like kind of boring to your brain. So I wanted to offer that, mix it up. Mix it a big if you can, and go to Iceland or mix it up small. If you can’t, and brush your teeth with your other hand. It’ll start to open up awareness and you’ll start to notice new things, you’ll start to get a different perspective. And it’ll make everything feel a little bit new. And that I think is how you live a big life. So before we go, before we go, I have been working with a couple of companies with their

with their sales team and donor teams to help them with like money mindset because especially if you’re in sales and you’re asking for money, the way you think about money is like ultra important

And I was having a conversation with somebody about money. And I said, I don’t, I wouldn’t I could, I don’t have any resistance to being rich, which I know I do, or I would be rich, right. But we were talking like, I don’t have an issue with that, because I know what my values are. And I have elicited my values. That’s a Master Practitioner technique that we teach in, in the alchemy Institute. But I know what my values are. And I know for me, money, showing up, like around six, five or six on my values list works really well for me, if this makes sense. So our values are highly unconscious to us, and they are in a hierarchy. And if I have money too low on the list, then I’m not motivated to work who like to make money, I give too much away. And if money is higher, I work too hard. Like I’m working all the time, and I don’t have fun. And so for me, values being at like five or six works really good. The things that are above money on my list are things like kindness, happiness, freedom, those kinds of things. And so I’m not worried that if I got a ton of money, that I would be like a meanie, because, because happiness and kindness is way higher. Now I’m oversimplifying it, but this is the conversation that I was having. And when I’ve been working with these donor teams, I’m trying to teach them, like how their brain works, so that they understand what they think about money and how that’s coming out. Unconsciously, when they talk to people of influence, right? When they have interactions with people, when they make decisions about their own money, the way they feel about themselves, like highly, highly influences the way that you deal with the world, right. And so one of the things that I do is this money map, I map out their unconscious mind, and it’s pretty quick and fun. And they always are like, Oh my gosh, like, I didn’t know this, right. So anyway, I was thinking, let’s do a money bootcamp inside the collective. So if you haven’t already gone to my website, if you go to my website, it’s right at the top, it says the collective, this is my annual membership. So you join, it’s one price for the whole year you meet with me every week. It’s so fun. Plus, you get access to every class that I have, all of my best classes are listed there, and you get access to them. So all about learning all about the subconscious mind. The infinite soul project where I teach about the science and the whoo and how that interacts, right? I teach you how to hypnotize yourself and how to start moving forward. So you’re getting things that you want, way quicker. So all the skills, all the courses are in there. And then every week I meet with people live and like this next month ahead, we are going to dive into money. And like really what that means, what it is and how it’s impacting their everyday life, even in areas that they don’t notice. So if you want to do that work with with us, I would highly suggest that you jump into the collective. Now we record everything. So if you jump in, you’ll see all the recordings that we’ve done. But But jump in now. So you can be on live and actually ask questions and interact and be on that like ride with us as we learn and go ahead over the month of February. So in the month of March, we are changing the price, the format’s not going to change necessarily, but we are adding some new classes that will be available in there and the price is going to change dramatically. So jump in there. Now if you’ve been thinking about it, do it now in the month of February. And if you’re gonna do it in February, you might as well do it early so that you get in on all the live stuff. Okay, so just go to my website, go to Betsy pake.com. And then once you do that, you’re gonna get an email with a link to get on the phone with me for 15 minutes, we’ll do a laser call we can work on we’ll do NLP on something that you need, we can just walk through something that you’re struggling with. I can help direct you to which course to start with like we can just have a discussion about whatever it is that you need. So go to Betsy pake.com/collective and join us and I will I will see you in there. All right, everybody. Have an amazing week and I will see you next time.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that, I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.

Today on the show, Betsy talks about how to get what you want (especially if you know what it is) and how one simple thing you’re doing is standing in your way.

This episode will start you thinking differently and is great for anyone who feels stuck, unsure or just blah about their life right now.

Join The collective here –>http://betsypake.com/collective

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Transcript:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big.

Hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. Today. I really okay, what I really want to talk about is not sexy at all.

So I’m going to tell it to you in a different way. I’m going to tell it to you in a way that sounds sexier. All right. First of all, before we get started, I’m curious of how your year is going. Like how things are moving along for you. Because I know even if you don’t set resolutions, like there might be some thing that you’re doing, or that you want to create or bring into your life. Right? You know, one of the things I’ve been doing this year in the Facebook group, if you’re not in there, join us in there, it’s, it’s the art of living big.com will push you into the Facebook group. Okay, so

what I have been doing is these little challenges I wanted to be inspired this year. And I had some ideas of things that I wanted, right, but I wasn’t like, oh my god, this is the year. Do you know what I mean? Like, I wasn’t like, this is the year that I do this thing. In fact, I had written down some things that I wanted to do this year. And then as I went to do them, they felt really heavy. And I was like, I don’t think I really want to do this. I think I just think that is what I should do. Which made me completely throw everything into a waste bin and just say, forget it. I’m not going to do that if I think I have to because like everything is optional.

Everything is optional. And I know that sometimes we think well, it’s not I have to go to work, I have to go. I mean, you do and you don’t

like

and follow my train of thought and then we’re gonna circle back, okay, but like,

I work, the work I do I love. And there was a time where I worked because I had to work because I had a daughter and I had to support her. But it was still that was still a choice. You know what I mean? Like I could have not supported her. That was a choice. It wasn’t a choice I wanted to make. And so I worked. But the reason I say that is because when we know it’s a choice, it brings us back some power. Right. And so as I was looking at things, I was like, I’m not really inspired for any like big thing. And the things I thought I should do, were a choice. And so I decided I wasn’t going to do them.

And so I decided that every month, I was going to have a little challenge for myself, not really a challenge, like an immersion or an experience. I talked about it inside the Facebook group. So you should go in there.

Because I’m talking about it, and then I’m posting about it. And you can choose to do the challenge with me every month, there’s going to be a new one. Also, my the magical unicorn, that is April that works with me. She is making worksheets for the podcast. So she started last week. So go in there and when she posts the podcasts, she’ll also post a link to the worksheet. I have shows that I listened to that I take notes on and I have like little notebooks on my iPad for like the things that were interesting to me or, or sometimes I’ll have to like try and backup. If you’ve ever listened to a podcast and then you try to backup and you use your finger to try and like rewind it you end up going like seven minutes behind and you really only wanted to go like a minute behind. And so that whole like scrub feature with my finger. I thought well actually April thought, Let’s do worksheets because then we can just write down like the high points and people can write notes and it just was a really good idea. So you can get those inside the Facebook group too. Okay, so then what’s the unsexy thing that I want to tell you

is that one of the things that I realized was that I didn’t have a resolution necessarily, but I had a way that I wanted to live.

I didn’t know what it was specifically as much as I knew that I wanted to have a feeling of freedom, right of being able to go anywhere I wanted to go

Oh, we’re work from anywhere I wanted to work. That’s a really big thing with me. And it’s actually one of the reasons that I started my business. And that I do it in the way that I do it.

So

when I was thinking about, like, I don’t have resolution, but I have like, a way I want to live. I thought, How do I get to how I want to live? Like, what are the things that happen? That create the way I live now? Okay. So I mean, I’m living in a certain way. And a lot of it is the way that I’m choosing, and a lot of it is just what’s happening. And I realized that all it is, is consistency. And sometimes we think about consistency in terms of like, okay, well, I want to, I want to lose weight, I’ve got to be consistent and working out. If I want to, like write a book, I’ve got to be consistent in writing, if I want to, like, we think about it in terms of things that we have to add, right?

But what you have right now

is because you’ve been consistent, even if it’s something you don’t want.

So

the unsexy thought I had is that maybe you don’t need to add anything. Maybe it’s what you have to undo. Like maybe if you haven’t had a resolution this year, or you didn’t know what you wanted, maybe this year is your year of undoing instead of doing.

And maybe this is about you just looking at, like what are the practices I have in place? Like how do I do things right now and getting really, really aware?

You know, when we bring like a heightened level of awareness to ourselves,

we can never see what we’ve seen in a different way.

I also know it’s difficult to see things in ourselves, which is why you’re probably listening to this podcast, right to get a different point of view. I think that is so helpful.

And so I’m curious, if you can start to notice and start to say, what are the consistent actions that I’ve taken, that have brought me to where I am right now? And what do I need to undo? So that I can begin to create, or to know what I want to create later on? Consistency was sort of my word for this year, you know, I just I want to be consistent. I want to choose the things that I want to be consistent because I am super consistent. But sometimes it’s in things that I don’t want, right? Like you probably have that to where you’re like, oh, yeah, I always do this thing. Like before I realized it. I’ve had four cups of coffee, and I have a bellyache. But I don’t stop, right, like that is just what I do. And so I have a couple of thoughts, a couple of ways for you to begin to notice this.

And

some things that you can do instead. Sorry, I paused there for a second because my phone went black. And I didn’t know why I record this on a special app on my phone. Okay. All right. So here’s some ways that you can start to notice what it is that you are doing one thing really obvious and very,

very masculine, but I like it is to do a time block to actually write down say, What have I done, set a timer on your phone every 30 minutes or every hour and say, What have I just worked on? For the past hour? Like what am I actually doing? This was really eye opening to me when I when I did this in my business just just a short time ago. What am I actually doing? You know, on the other side of this is, what am I actually thinking? Right? So you could do a time study on either? What am I thinking? Or what am I doing?

The two things are related, how you feel about what you’re doing, if you’re at work, and you’re working on something, but it didn’t feel fun. There’s a thought that’s attached to that. So one way is to do a time study. Another way is to ask somebody that you really trust and say what do you see in me as like the top like three adjectives that you’d use to describe me? Or how do you what do you see me doing? What are the things that I talk about the most? You know, I’ve talked before and I call it the elephant in my heart. You know, there’s this thing that we usually have that we kind of talk about, but never handle. Right? And so

you might even know what it is.

You might even know even as I say that

there is a thing that I have to deal with that I just don’t deal with. You know, it’s

really hard to pull something else in when you haven’t gotten rid of the problem, right? Or the issue or the thing that’s, like nagging at you.

years ago, my husband had this Honda Civic, it was like a hybrid Honda Civic. And one day, it just died. And he just like, rolled on into the driveway.

And we lived in like this really nice neighborhood. And the car sat there. I’m not kidding. It was probably there for like, I don’t know, I want to say like two years. But I might be exaggerating that because I drove me bananas.

But you can’t bring another car into the driveway, if you haven’t got rid of the car that’s there.

You know, you can’t bring something else in this year, if you haven’t gotten rid of the thing that’s taking up space and not doing anything for you.

Like, what is it that you have to have to release? And maybe you just know, and maybe you need to ask somebody that’s really close to you, to give you a reflection? What do I always complain about? You know, what am I always talking about?

And just see what comes.

Now, the third thing is kind of combined with that, but it is just to meditate. You know, I talk about meditation a lot, sitting just sitting with stuff. And if that feels really weird, if that feels really hard, like that is understandable. If your nervous system has been really ramped up, it can feel really hard to just sit. And maybe there’s some other things that you need to do first.

Right?

And if you can sit just start with like five minutes. Even if you’re not like I know, sometimes we think like well meditating, I was supposed to like, okay, um, you know,

but sometimes I just sit and go, Okay, brain, show me all the things that you’re thinking about, like, let’s just think about it. And all these things come into my mind, you know, and I just let them all come in.

So witness yourself, just sit and say, what is it that I’m thinking about? What is it that’s like drawing my attention away? Even though I’m trying not to look at it? Like, what is it that’s pulling my life in a certain direction that’s creating this consistency and a place that I don’t really want it to be?

Because I think sometimes we, we, we think, I don’t know what I want to call in. I’m not inspired by anything, because there’s too much junk in the driveway.

And then we put all this pressure on ourselves, especially this time of year, oh, gosh, you know, like, resolution time, I love a new year, I do I love a new year, a new week, a new whatever.

But I’ve got to really feel inspired for it. And I think you’re that way too, right, you’re not going to just do something to do it, it’s got to mean something.

So I want you to get clear on where you’re being consistent, that’s not actually serving you.

You know, we were really consistent and not dealing with that car took until it drove me so bananas, that we dealt with it, right. And that’s what happens in life, we wait. But I say like, don’t wait,

don’t wait, set a line in the sand and say I’m going to deal with some stuff.

And you will be free. Right freedom.

You know, inside the collective. So I have this group, that every week I come in and teach. It’s kind of like a podcast live. And we interact. And it’s 30 minutes, once a week, 30 minutes, once a week, it creates consistency. Right? It creates like a

putting yourself first I make time for myself, which begins to change everything because then you’re setting up this precedent in your mind that you’re important, right? And whatever you do, maybe you do that with working out every day or whatever that is.

But the reason I created that container in that way, was because I wanted people to have something that they come to.

And then we can communicate about it. You know, sometimes, I think some of the thoughts or ideas I have and are way out there and probably not way out there for you. Cuz you’re listening. But we out there for like other people, right? And like, I had a friend say to me once, Betsy, you like you’re way, way out in the ocean. And like I’m just standing here on the shore, like I’m trying to understand, but you’re like, way out there.

So then I thought well, I’ll just bring my people that are way out there, out there with me. So we can all have something to talk about and so

on

So that’s what I’ve done inside the collective. But the idea really is this to create something consistent, right? Every week, it’s 30 minutes.

The workouts that I’ve been doing lately at home are 23 minutes, that’s their whole thing. It’s 23 minutes. And I’m like, I have 23 minutes to give to this. You know, sometimes when I would get into workouts that were like 45 minutes, or I would look at the app, and they’d be different every day, and it was really hard to plan that really made me zonkers. And so, like, 23 minutes, I could plan it, I could do it. And that’s why I was like, this has got to be something like that, like something that is, like simple and easy and fun. And you look forward to it. And it’s only 30 minutes. So anyway, so join us inside the collective if you’re looking for something consistent to help you expand, and to give you a new idea and to inspire you, right, because that’s really what we’re what we’re looking for when we’re talking about resolutions, or like what this year is, or we’re figuring out our word. I mean, that’s what it all is, right?

So I want you to think about where you’re being consistent. And it’s not serving you what you need to let go of, so that the idea of what it is you want can even come in.

Because that when I think when you do that work, that is when you live a big life. Thank you so much for being here. I love you guys so much. I will see you all next week. And maybe in the collective join me in there. It’s always open, come, come visit with us. All right, I’ll see you all later. Bye, bye.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like, figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM, shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.

In today’s episode, Betsy dives into some personal stories about finding what she needed and then teaches you some important steps to be able to tap into this knowledge for yourself. She takes things you probably have already done and clarifies the process so you get what you need every time.

transcript:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show today. Okay, so if you’ve been listening for any amount of time, or you follow me on Instagram or anything, then you know, it’s been a really happy few days here at the pake household since the national championship well, really since the Peach Bowl with the Georgia Bulldogs, pulling through we were at that game live. I don’t remember if I said that last week, it’s been a whirlwind. And I’ve been so sleep deprived since New Year’s Eve, because I stayed up so late for that game like I don’t I don’t stay up late, even on New Year’s Eve, typically. So now we made it through the National Championship and one and it was just such a fun, fun thing. It is now my alignment to watch the game. Have we talked about this, this might be a good thing to talk about. Okay, so I really let if I’m, like just out of whack, I really like to find something that puts me in alignment. Sometimes it’s a certain podcast, like somebody’s voice, or I’ve taken courses before where I just liked to listen to their voice. So I took this. Years ago, I took a Facebook ads course. And the woman’s voice is so soothing. Sometimes I just put it on in the background, it was like really aligning for me, like made me feel good. So, you know, keep in mind, it can be anything that brings you into alignment. And I’ve had certain books where if I read passages, and I would read the same passages over and over again. But now this game will become the the thing that makes me feel good. I’ve had a couple of games throughout the season that I wanted to watch, I would watch over and over again. And that’s sort of a thing that I do after I would watch a game after I would see a game like whether I was there live or I was watching on TV, I would be so stressed out, you know, which is weird, because I didn’t go to Georgia. So like what do I care? And in fact, in fact, the Peach Bowl was Georgia and OSU. If you’re an OSU fan, my dad worked at OSU. And so I’m, like, you know, I don’t really have a dog in the fight. And if I do I have two dogs in the same fight, like what do I care, but I would get so stressed out like the anxiety of like, what’s happening would really tweak me out. And so I really like to watch the game after I knew the outcome. Because then I have full faith. And I can practice that feeling of like, this is what it feels like to just know what’s going to happen. Like to know everything’s going to work out, right? Or there’s going to be magic, or they don’t win, and I’m still okay, I know that this sounds a little silly, but but if you can find something that kind of brings you into alignment, and something that helps you practice what that feels like. I think I’m kind of going off on a tangent here, because this wasn’t what he intended to talk about. But let’s talk about it for just a second more. Sometimes, we don’t know what it would be like, if we got the thing. I saw a post recently, I think it was Amanda Francis on Instagram. And she was talking about how she got a question that said, what is it like to be rich? Like what is that like? And she was referencing something that she saw Oprah say, and the Oprah was like, Is is great. Like, it’s really great. And she was talking about her experience, Amanda Francis was talking about her experience, being able to go into Chanel and buy anything she wanted, and also to go into Chanel, and find nothing she wanted and feel totally confident walking out. And she just talked about what that felt like, you know, to be rich. And I think that sometimes when we want something whether it’s to be rich, or it’s to have a partner or it’s to have a career that you want or a promotion you’re looking for whatever that is, you know, we talk all the time about getting in the feeling of it first. You can speed that up. Well, I love love being able to use different things where I already know the outcome like I remember I watched that movie knives out a couple of times, because it would have stressed me out. But because I knew the outcome, I could get really settled. So I get to practice being settled in times where normally I would have been tweaked out. I hope that that makes sense. But we can use stuff, we can use stuff to be able to start to shift so that we get in the feeling of the thing that we want. And we get practice doing that. Anyway, like I said, going off on a little bit of a tangent, but I hope that made sense. So why am i What’s what is today? What are we doing today? Okay, so I don’t think I told you this story. And I was thinking about it this weekend. And I was like, I want to tell this story. Because I think that when we practice, getting ourselves in a place where we’re unencumbered by all of the woods and shoulds, and things we are supposed to do and pressures, we haven’t stressed when we can get ourselves in a place where we can move that to a different room, like move that voice to a different room, and sort of shut the door, then we can connect in with this version of us, who I think is connected to like, greater intelligence, God, you know, all that is. And that is where we can find peace, that is where we can find a path. That is where we can become unstuck. That is where we find our way. And I think that all of the noise of this world tends to move us out of that space. And I’ll even say, it gets us comfortable with the idea that we never have that connection in. So we get to where not hearing ourselves. And instead, hearing all these other voices, the outside noise, I’m gonna call it when we get to the point where only hearing the outside noise becomes what’s normal, we forget that we have the capacity to dive in to go in deeper and to get the answers and to find what we need, and to find our steadiness. Right. And, you know, back in November, I went to Sedona and at that time, I think I talked about this when I was talking about how we were relaunching the alchemy Institute, which is my, my training program, right, where I train you to be board certified in NLP and hypnotherapy and all of those things. And at the time, I was, there was something missing in it, you know, I just felt like, like, it was all it was designed to be on demand. But I felt like there needed to be like a tether, that created movement so that people didn’t get lost in the ocean of all the things that they were learning. And I just couldn’t figure out how to do that. Now. There have been times in my life where I have been a big meditator. And when I say big, like in that way, I mean, like, I would sit sometimes for hours, like, like, I remember two and a half hours being like sort of a regular thing for me, like just sitting, I’m not talking about like laying down listening to a guided meditation, I’m talking about sitting and just listening in, okay. But I have moved away from that in a lot of ways, like I might sit for five or 10 minutes, or, you know, even 30 minutes or do a lot of guided meditations. But I haven’t been giving myself like this really, really huge chunk of time. And but I remember how, right because it’s sort of like riding a bike like that, what I had, what I found, when I would sit in that amount of time was that like, it took me like 20 minutes to really get settled, like to stop my brain from going all over the place, right? And then it would take about 45 minutes for me to get like a focus. So then like the 45 minutes to the like two hour mark. So only an hour and 15 minutes more was when I would have what I would call like mystical experiences or like a very deep centeredness where I felt like I was being pulled down to the ground, you know, or

I would get really clear answers on things. Now I’ve found different things over the years that have helped me get to that to that point that out that last hour and 15 minutes to that faster. So like floating if you’ve heard me talk about floating floating really does That for me. So floating is where there’s, there’s places like if you look up if you live in a big city especially, and you look up like float tank, so there’s a place that I go here in Atlanta that they have these big tanks, they are full of water and Epsom salts, so much so that you float on top of the water. I mean, you’re in the water, but like just barely. And it’s a total sensory deprivation tank. And so there’s no sound, it’s completely black. It’s like a big egg, you know, and you close the top. No sound No, nothing. No, you’re naked in it, right? So there’s no pinching of your clothes. Or you know what I mean? Like no bathing suit going up your butt, like none of that, like you’re just like floating, complete silence, sensory deprivation. And I find when I do that, I can get to that zone that last like hour and 15 minute zone really fast. But it still takes me 10 minutes or so probably 10 or 15 minutes, and then I can get into it. So I’ve noticed that like, lately I’ve been wanting like that, or yearning to like sit just sit not guided meditations, I mean, just sitting has been coming up for me a lot more like I’m, I’m drawn to it, like, I want to do it. And when I went to to Sedona at the beginning of November, I was on the airplane, and I wrote I wrote down what does the in the alchemy Institute need to be great. And then I just got, like, really in a zone. And I was almost surprised how quickly I was able to like get in this like idea this, like, open what what am I not seeing? Almost like the like, with everyone zigging. I think I talked about this before and I want to zag like, what’s the Zag? What’s different? Like, how can this be better than anything? And, and then I just got this idea. Like, it was like who it was like the idea came as a complete thought. And then I just like wrote it all out. And I mean, it was I mean, it’s it was magical, like the whole idea. And I know I’ve talked about this before, so I’m not gonna go into like the institute. But like, the idea was that if you’re, if you’re new to this idea, so I have this institute that trains people to work in all of these modalities, right? So trains them in NLP, and hypnotherapy and EFT and all these things. So they go through that NLP, it’s all on demand. And sometimes I do them live. And then they can go to Master Practitioner, which is on Zoom. So they meet with me once a week in a small group, it’s really magical. And they learn like all the skills, everything, the highest level of NLP. And then they go off to go and build their businesses or use it in their other business, right, because we can use these skills, their high communication skills, use them in lots of different areas of life, some people just use them just so that they can learn it, and start to do NLP on themselves, right and help their family. So there’s a variety of reasons why people do it, but they would, would finish it and master prac, if that’s the path that they chose to take, and then they would just, like be done. And I was like I really want to have, I want to help the people that are just coming in. Brand new, and I want to have like a development program for the people that are finished. So they finish, but they’re not really finished. You know what I mean? Because sometimes you’re not ready to just, like, figure it out, you still have questions? Like there’s marketing questions, and there’s, like, just balancing stuff God, like there’s just a lot, right? So I wanted to stay tethered to those people, but I wanted to do it in a way that really, really served them. And so I thought I’m gonna hire them, I’m gonna hire them to help with the new people, because then you’re refreshing all of your skills, you’re getting connected with the new people, you’re getting a chance to coach, they’re getting paid for their coaching. So it builds their confidence. And then, you know, I’ll have them like, together still, and then we can do trainings, I can help they can have a place to ask questions. So that whole process was like, it just seemed so divine. It was like a big giant circle. Do you know what I mean? So you start in NLP if you choose to go to Master Practitioner, and then you can choose to stay in the in the coaches development program. And so the whole thing came to me like this, like download, you know, like, this is what it’s supposed to look like, this is what would serve everybody and it felt so good. And so as I have had other issues or other things that have come up or things I need to figure out, you know, I have been thinking about that like how How did that happen? Like, what was the catalyst for that moment? And? And how is it a little bit different from like just a regular meditation. So I want to talk about that. And I have like some steps that I think might help you, especially if you have like a problem, you know what I mean? Or like a thing you’re trying to come up with a solution for? Okay? So first of all, when I flew, or when I was on the airplane, there were no other options. There was nowhere else for me to go. And if I’m doing this at home, there’s a lot of other things I know, there’s laundry there, do you know what I’m talking about, like, other stuff to think about? So I need to when I do this process, I really need to go into it with the mindset that I have, this is what I’m doing. And this is the timeframe, right? Because when I get in the float tank, it’s an hour or it’s 90 minutes, like I sign up for whichever. When I am on an airplane, I know exactly. I know the minute I’m gonna land, right. So I’m captive. And so. So when we think about this, I think that starting this process, it could be really helpful for you to choose an amount of time. So for you to say, I’m going to sit here for 15 minutes, or I’m going to sit here for 30 minutes. And I want you to keep in mind that in the beginning, like if this is all really new, or you used to do it, now you’re coming back, don’t stress yourself out by saying like, I’m gonna sit here for an hour or even 30 minutes, like it might just be everyday this week. I’m gonna sit here for 30 minutes. I’m gonna sit here for five minutes. Right? I’m just gonna sit here for five minutes. That’s it, you’re going to start to become more like calm about it. I know, for me, especially when I very first started meditating was just sitting was like, Oh, my God, like this. Like, besides being bored, I just was like, What are we doing? The very first time I ever did this was like, I don’t maybe night at 990 I went to a Zen meditation group. And like, I just was like, What are we supposed to do? I remember I even asked, What are we doing? And the guy like super hippie dippie came over it was when I was in college in Vermont, came over and was like, we’re just sitting man, you know, we’re just I was like, for what the fuck for like, what are we doing? Like I did not get it. So your body will resist if you’ve never done this before, or even if you’ve done it and it’s been a while. So just give yourself like five minutes, I’m just going to sit today’s next day, I’m going to sit for six. The next minute, I’m going to the next day, I’m going to sit for seven. So don’t stress yourself out by being like I’m gonna sit down for an hour. Okay, first of all, even though an airplane ride might be that long. Okay? Secondly, I want to tell you the difference between a hypnosis, hypnosis, and a meditation, okay? Hypnosis is a meditation with a purpose. Like with a goal. The brainwave states are super similar, if not exactly the same, depending on how deep you get or what you’re doing. The, the, the hypnosis and the guided meditation are the same. Because they’re walking you through something, you’re having an experience. There’s a like a reason for it, right? There’s like this thing they’re walking you through. Okay? So hypnosis, guided meditation, basically the same thing, right? Semantics. I think in a, largely,

then when we have meditation, which is what I’m talking about. This is just sitting, you don’t have headphones on, there’s like, there’s nothing like you’re just sitting. Now a lot of you might use the Insight app. And they do have like, where you could do a timer, and then you have like, background sound like rain, or Belle’s or a river or whatever. Like, that’s fine. I’ll explain to you what I do. But like, that’s fine. I’m talking about like, somebody guiding you. Like when I do my Dr. Joe Dispenza. guided meditations. It’s basically hypnosis. Right? It’s a guided meditation different than what I’m talking about. Okay? Both have a purpose. I love both. Okay. So. So you have a problem, or a thing that you want to figure out, or you’re uninspired and you’d like to know what you’re supposed to do, or you’re conflicted about something, or you have no drive or you have too much drive and you don’t know where to put your attention. I don’t care what the problem is. Get the problem in your mind. Okay. So when I go to flute, I usually try to, like, what is it that I want to what? Or what’s the outcome that I want to have? I really like to just give my brain something now. I’m going to contradict myself in just a second. But I really like having something I would like to solve, or we’re have a reason. Every single day, here’s where I’m going to contradict myself. Every single time that I meditate, do I have a problem I want to solve or something I want to know. Sometimes I just sit and listen. But for what I’m talking about right now, have a thing. Okay? Because this is what happened when I, I’m sure this is what happened when I was on the airplane and when I float, okay, so number one is, I’m going to have something that I really want to figure out. And maybe it’s just getting clarity, maybe it’s figuring out a problem, maybe it’s something specific. Then I want to decide how long am I going to sit? And allow? Allow this answer to come to me 20 minutes, okay. Then I’m going to sit, I’m going to sit someplace comfortable. I meditated. Today for an hour, I sat on my bed. I know a lot of people are like, don’t get on your bed, you’re supposed to sleep. It’s comfortable. But I do not lay down. You don’t lay down unless I want to take a nap. I sit up and I make sure that there is like a pillow under my legs. I make sure I’m super supported in my back. Today, when I meditated, I thought I need to grab my travel pillow because I think that would be really helpful because my head was back. But it was just back enough where it was kind of kinking you know what I mean? So get yourself comfortable. Who cares what you look like travel pillow, whatever. Okay. So you’ve got a prop A thing that you want to focus on, you know how long you’re going to sit there and now you’re comfy but you’re sitting up so you’re not too comfy that you’re going to fall asleep. Alright, then you’re going to find a sound. Now, this is where the Insight Timer thing might be helpful for me. Today, I was running my dishwasher. And I liked the sound of the dishwasher. Sometime it’s my I have one of those sound machines, you know that they have like at therapists office, I play it at night when I go to bed. Sometimes it’s that sometimes it’s just the sound of the fan going. Right. So I find like a organic sound that’s kind of organic is a dishwasher organic, you know what I mean? Like something that’s happening in my environment, organic in my environment, I guess. And I just focus on that you can focus on breathing too. For some reason I like an outside sound, I think it helps. Because I’m I want to be busy. And then that helps me put my busy attention towards something to the Intel i can settle. Okay, so now I’m listening to the sound. There’s listening, listening, listening, breathing, listening. And then I just want to notice what’s coming up. Like, I’m not actively going, how do I solve this? I’m just like, what’s coming up. And here’s what’s gonna come up. Things like old stories, right? Old things that have happened, things you thought it might be things you haven’t thought about in a long time. Those are the gifts, you’re getting gifts. Okay? And not gifts, not like gifs not like you’re getting a gift, a present, you’re getting a present. Because that story that’s coming up most likely is something that needs to be healed in order for you to get what it is you need. Okay, our unconscious minds, keep they suppress things until we’re ready to deal with it. And chances are, if you’re getting a lot of those, you haven’t given space for these things to come up. And now your unconscious mind is like, Oh, wow, cool. She’s been quiet. Maybe she has space to heal this. Let’s show her. She wants to fix this thing. Well, what about this? What about this? What about this, there will be stories that come up. They may be stories you think are unrelated. It’s okay. You could just remember them. If you need to have a little pad of paper next to you to write them down. I would say don’t write them on your phone. Don’t write them on your iPad, have like a physical pen and paper. Because then you’re not stopping turning on your tablet. Do you know what I mean? Like getting oriented all that? write those things down or remember those things or ask yourself in the moment what do I have to learn from this? See if something just comes into your awareness and you can let it go? I asked my guides all the time in stock and when I’m in meditation to just can you take that away? Can you help show me what I need to heal or take that and take that away? I’ll say it out loud, well, I’m starting to get these things. And then you’re going to start to maybe just you’ll seek sit for a little while longer, like, just sit, I know, when I float, I feel like I’m just like floating forever. And then all of a sudden, you’ll get this idea or this thought it’s like inspiration. You know, it’s like, oh, now, it is chef’s kiss when that happens. But it won’t happen every single time. And that’s okay. So don’t get down on yourself or be like this didn’t work. You just do it again, tomorrow, it has to get to the place where you’re ready. But you won’t be ready. If you’re just avoiding and you’re being busy and doing lots of other things, you’ve got to slow down, you’ve got to pause and give itself space. So figure out your problem, what it is, figure out how much time you’re going to spend today, to do it. Figure out what the sound is get yourself comfortable, and just allow the space for it. Now, when you start to do this, you’re going to start to shift, you’re going to start to feel different, your whole mood is going to become different. So here’s what I would do. And what I think is really helpful is if you are if you’re listening, and you’re like I really want to try this, like maybe this would work for me, immediately, immediately, you’re gonna push it off, because you’re gonna be like, I’m gonna do that tomorrow. Okay. So if you feel like this is could be the thing, in your in your car, when you stop, set an alarm on your phone for two minutes and just do it for two minutes, then you’ve already begun. And then tomorrow, you can do it for three minutes. And then the next day four, and five, and whatever. The other thing is set a timeframe. So I’m going to try this for a week, I’m going to try this for a week, there’s this thing that I’m doing, I’m going to do it inside my Facebook group. I don’t know, have you guys been in my Facebook group lately. So I’m going to come back to the seven days, but I have had a Facebook group for years. And then this whole year, I shut it down, I was working on other things. And I was focusing on some personal things. And I didn’t know what else to share in there to be honest. And I recently opened it back up, you can get to it by going to the Art of Living big.com. The Art of Living big.com, it’ll bring you right to the Facebook group. Or I think you can get there from my website, like if you go to my website, and then you go up to the top and it says start here. So go to Betsy pake.com. And then at the top start here. And then you’ll see Facebook group. I haven’t done a lot in there. But some things have been live a couple times. But I have this thing that I’m starting to do. And I’m going to come in and talk about it. And I’m going to go live every week and explain what I’m doing. But why am I telling you this, don’t join me over there, if you’d like to see what I’m doing, interact with me

interact with the people in there, because I think it could be a really good safe space for everybody. But I you know, I didn’t haven’t done anything in there in a year. So one of the things that I’m doing that I’m going to share about is like this little challenge for myself, and I have a variety of them, I’ll share what they are inside the group. But set a time limit, say to yourself for seven days, I’m going to challenge myself just for seven days, I don’t have to do it forever. And that way you can evaluate and be like, do I even like this, you might not. So if you don’t like it, you can just stop. But if but if it works for you, then maybe it’s something that you can start to implement into your every day, and start to make it a way that you can connect in deeper to yourself and start to get the answers that you need, you know, figure out the big? How do I do this questions, like I did with the alchemy Institute and so many other things. So yeah, when you do that, that, I think is how you start to live a big life. So anyway, join me over there in the Facebook group. Let’s try that out. Let’s see how it goes. I’m going to I’m giving it a time limit. We’ll see how how it goes. But I’ve got something to share that I’m doing this year to bring in inspiration. So yeah, thank you so much for being here with me this week. I love you so much. Thank you for being you and and wanting to grow and change. I just I think it’s incredible. I think that I think that people that try and do that, I think you’re a special bunch. So I’m grateful to be along on the journey. Thanks for carrying me with you. All right. I will talk to you guys next week. I’ll see you then. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it. so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute, but to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.

Today’s episode is a must listen for anyone who wants to experience more in the coming year. Betsy shares 7 questions to identify and clear what’s keeping you from living your big life while taking you on a path to discovery that you can reconnect with over and over again in the years ahead.

Join The Collective on her website here.

Transcript:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, welcome. Welcome to the show today. Happy New Year, fellow adventurers. So I’m excited to record the show today, because it’s been a couple of weeks because I took last week off, which was really nice. So thanks for hanging with me, thanks for coming back. I, I did some work, like I took kind of off from like the 20th to the second, I did work because I had stuff to do. But it wasn’t like, pressure filled, it was like I took naps. And I, like did other stuff in the morning if I want. And I did, like whatever I felt like it was really, really nice. So I hope that you guys had a good break. And a good holiday I’ve been trying to think about next year. Because next year, I want to have some sort of adventure because I will tell you, the towards the end of the break. And I say break like I’m in school, like when we had school break. But when during the end of that break, like I got where I was kinda like I needed some excitement. Like it got kind of boring, but maybe boring. I don’t know, next year, I think I need to travel or do something. I saw someone on Facebook that’s like, you know, like a Facebook friend of mine. But somebody I don’t really know, like, we met in some entrepreneurial group. And they said, I had the most magical Christmas experience ever this year. And I, they didn’t say what they did. But they were like it’s different from so as soon as I saw that, I was like, I want to have that like next year. That’s what I want to be able to say. And you know, it’s hard with family, and you know, my daughter wanting to see me or it’s hard to be away, you know, like different things. So anyway, we’ll see how that pans out. But I got like a moment of inspiration of like, this was really nice to chill out. And next year, I would like to infuse this time with some sort of adventure, even if it’s a short adventure, even if it doesn’t take the whole time. But something to like inspire me, you know, to cause me to think differently, something to lift me up before I come back to work. So next year, that’s the thing. I, I talked all about inspiration this past month, inside the collective one of the weeks, we talked about ways to get inspired. And it just has started to, I’ve started to shift and kind of frame a lot of the ways that I see things through that lens, you know, because once you get like an idea, and then once you share the idea with people like I do in the collective, then all of a sudden, that idea starts to take shape, right, then all of a sudden you start to see things through that lens. And so anyway, I think looking for inspiration and ways to do the things that I do in my life all the time, but in a little bit in a little bit more inspired way. So all right. So I have this thought that I want to share with you. I think this might be kind of a shorter episode, but we’ll see. Because once I get talking, you know what happens, but I this is something that I have been doing. And so I want to share it with you because perhaps it would help you as you look at the year ahead. Now. I will say I talked maybe last the last episode are one of those last episodes about how I really like like New Year’s like the freshness of new I like Mondays. You know what I mean? Like I like New Years. And I’m gonna say resolutions. And I know, I know that that word is really loaded. I know a lot of people have words for the year or a phrase instead. It’s all just semantics. I think what it is truly in the end is that you are calling in something new, right with the word is the frame that you want to see things through. Right, just like being inspired. When you have a phrase, it’s the phrase that you want to frame all of your experiences around. It’s it’s just like the thing that I was talking about, in one of these last episodes about setting an intention, and how we’ve been setting intentions before every single thing that we’re doing in the business with work. And that has made such a huge difference. So the idea of a word or a phrase like I really really love that. And if you are one that likes to say That goals, which I really do, then it’s all the same, I really think it’s all the same, it’s just people got burned so much with resolutions. Now, they don’t want to say it’s a resolution. But we can always have a resolution to experience something new or something different or achieve something like it’s all the same. Anyway, I digress. But what I wanted to tell you about was, as I have set up what I wanted to experience this year, and how I wanted to frame my year, and how I, the things that I thought these things to accomplish would be really fun. And one of the things I’ve been talking about is, again, I’m gonna say like, we’ve been talking about this in the collective but of like, of how do I look at? How do I look at my year? And how do I break it up and say, like, I feel really good. If at the end of the year, I could say, I did this. And we can break it up even further, right? At the end of this quarter at the end of January, if I’ll feel really good if I can say I did these things, or I experienced these things, right? Or had this adventure this this season, or this quarter, or whatever it is. And so as I have been, you know, I’ve got my big goals for the year and I kind of am looking at like, what would I have to accomplish in those goals to feel really good this month. Now, one of the reasons I’m doing that differently than like taking an annual goal and breaking it into 12 parts is because different months are different, have different seasons in our lives. And different months might be busier in some areas and have other things going on or vacations or whatever. And so to divide things evenly between 12 months, I don’t think is really reasonable. So what I have been doing is looking at my month, and then saying like, Okay, I have this overarching goal. But what would feel really good. If I could get done this month. As I’ve done that, I’m starting to just scan and this is the part that I want, that you can relay or kind of lay over any way that you do anything. Okay. So I’m, I have an overarching goal. I know what I want to do in January, so that I feel good about my progress. And then when I think about it, when I think about the overarching goal, or when I think about the month, I want to scan myself. And I want to check and say, like, Where does this feel like this isn’t going to happen? Where does this feel untrue? Right, where does this feel like? Because I think this is why people don’t want to do resolutions, right? Because they’ve been burned because they’ve set goals, and maybe really good goals. Like maybe they did the SMART goal fit. Like who knows, maybe they took a workshop, like it was a good goal, and they really truly wanted to hit it. And then when they didn’t hit it, they just are tired of not hitting it. I know, because that’s how I feel a lot of the time like I’m like, Oh, do I really want to do a vision board. It’s just a whole board of things I didn’t do. Right. So like, that’s why I changed how I do vision boards. Okay. So when I do this scan, and I say what part of me thinks this isn’t really achievable. And I just pay attention to how I’m feeling. Now you might get a picture in your head, you might get

a memory write of another time you tried and it didn’t work, you might just get a feeling in your body, I tend to get sort of a feeling in my body. So if I think about the thing I really want to achieve, and I get this heavy feeling in my body. I’m like there’s something in me that says that isn’t achievable. That’s not for you. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much I want it. It doesn’t matter how much I consciously am excited about it, or how good of my breakdown of tasks is like none of that matters. What matters is this scan, and how do I feel about it? And if there’s any part of me, so today, I was doing the scan and I was like, Oh, I there’s this big goal. I have an I have this, this about it. Right. So even though I have a great plan, I just I just there’s something in there that says it’s not for me. So I’m going to give you some questions that I asked myself. And these are questions you can ask yourself about anything that’s coming up. But I think these are really good when it comes to something sort of abstract like this. Like, there’s some reason I just know, I’m not going to hit this goal, but I don’t know what it is. Right. So what is, the first question I asked myself is, what’s the thought? That’s preventing me from thinking I can achieve this? Now, you might be thinking, that’s it. It’s a feeling, it’s not a thought, I totally get it. What is the feeling then? What’s the feeling? So it might be a thought it might be a memory, it might be an idea might be a feeling. So whatever that thought is, that feeling is that’s what is that? That’s preventing me from moving forward. Right? What’s stopping me? And with me, I can feel like this heaviness on my chest. Now, here’s the trick is that I want to name this. So I don’t want to move on to step two, until I actually name this. And you might have to just sit, like, just sit yourself down and be like, What is this? What is this belief? What is this thing? This thought this feeling? What is this, that’s that underlying is causing me to think I can’t have this thing. And I want you to come up with a name of what it is. And this might be like, I just I don’t know how to do it. I’m just afraid. It’s almost always some sort of fear. What if I don’t do it? What if it looks? What if I tell everyone I’m doing it? And then it doesn’t work? I’m gonna look stupid, like, whatever that is. So I want you to scan for it. I want you to identify what is this thing that’s stopping me from moving forward? And then I want you to name it if it doesn’t already have a name, right? So this is what it is. It’s fear that I’m going to look dumb or fear that it’s a fear that it’s not going to work, right fear that I’ll always be striving for this thing, but never get it. Right. All right. Number two, is what is the story that you have around that that makes you think that’s true? What’s the story around it that makes you think that’s true? And it might be like, Well, I’ve, I’ve tried before, and it didn’t work? Or I just I don’t know that I have enough self confidence, right? If I had more confidence, I could do it. If I had a bigger internet presents, I could do it. If I had that, you know, I don’t know the magical Angel fairy wings crushed up in my morning coffee, I could do it like whatever that is for you. What is that story that’s making you think this is true? All right. So number three, is what does that story give you? Because honestly, it’s giving us something, there’s a payoff to it. Now, I know that that might seem kind of like a weird thought. But let me explain. You can actually go to my website, if you go to my website, Betsy pake.com. And you go all the way to the top, in the menu, it’ll say start here. On that page has all my freebies everything for you can get. So if you scroll down, there is a map to the unconscious mind. Okay. So in that map, it describes how our unconscious works. Now. It’s a little more complex, I probably need to do a video to go along with it. But there is a story. There is a benefit to that story. And it might be that if I have this fear, and I’m afraid of doing the thing, and I have a story that because I don’t have crushed up angel wings that I can’t do it, then I don’t have to try. And I don’t have to be disappointed. Because in the end, I know, I knew I wasn’t gonna be able to do it. So now I just proved myself right. It could be as simple as that. So what does that story give you? What’s the payoff of having that story? All right, number four. What can be untrue about that? Like, how is this total bullcrap? Right. Because the truth is that we’re here to expand and to try stuff, and to strive for stuff and to fail. Like, we’re not here for everything to always work out. We wanted the highs and the lows. We’re adventurers. Adventurers don’t just want everything great all the time. Do you know how boring it would be? To have everything great all the time. And we could have the full range of experiences and I’m talking to myself here, not just to you the full range of experiences if we just like, dive in. Right? We just go yes, I’m going to try it. If you guys have been here for a while you remember last year how I saw that tick tock about that guy that was underneath the Northern Lights. And then the next day I booked a trip to Iceland. I was totally living was everything about that great, no, there were actually some crappy things about that. Most of it was great, but there was highs and lows just like anything. And so, but I felt like I was truly living, right, like I was having this full experience. So I want you to think about the goal that you have. And if you don’t really try, if you if you stay in fear, if you hold yourself back just a little bit, even just a little bit, are you really fully living? Are you really fully having the experience that you came here to have? So ask yourself about that? What is untrue about it? How is it total bullcrap? And be a detective? You know, there’s a lot of things that could be untrue about that. And just make a list. All right, number five. And this one, you’re gonna have to think about your identity. Okay, so who would you be? If you didn’t have this story? Who would you be? Would you be living somewhere else would you be experiencing somewhere else? Would you be more joyful? Would you be more confident? Would you be more sure of yourself? Would you be more connected to people? Like who would you be? Get a clearer vision of that? And where would you be? You know, where would you be on your journey? All right, number six. Which one of those things do you want? Do you want to stay where you are? Or do you want to move forward? Do you want to experience the highs and lows? And do you want to dive in? Unafraid? Okay, now, now that you chose, I want to dive in on afraid? That’s the correct answer. Number seven, is what would you have to believe in order to move forward with full faith. And I like to use these as like I am resourceful, I am capable, I am full of possibility I am creative, I am statements. So come up with two or three things that would work better for you. All right. So now that you have those, I want you to write those like on a little post a note, or put them in a little, put a piece of duct tape, not duct tape, put a piece of packing tape over the post it notes. So that is it is water tight. And then I want you to stick it in your shower, you know, put it somewhere where the water is not going to hit it. But I want you to get up in the morning, brush your teeth, whatever you do get in the shower, and I want you to get in that like I am this I have I am making a choice. I can choose to be that old version of me or I can choose to be this new version. And every moment I get a new choice every moment. Who am I going to be now? Who am I going to be now. And I think that these moments, they’re not just the big moments. They’re not just the moments where you go, Oh, I’m taking the trip to Iceland. Like that’s not it. It’s the little moments. It’s the moment where you like I don’t totally feel like working out this morning. But I made a commitment to myself.

And I know that my confidence is higher when I keep commitments to myself, because I tell myself, I can trust myself. And so I’m going to do that thing. That’s the moments. It’s not the big huge moments. It’s the little tiny moments. It’s the moments where you catch yourself talking crap about yourself. And you stop yourself and you say that’s not true. Right? Sometimes I say it out loud. Oh, there we go. Here’s the little voice. The Gremlin is not true. It’s not true. You know, sometimes I’ll say that doesn’t matter. I’ll think of something silly. So I have a couple. I have like four or five speaking gigs this month in January. I’m so excited, really fun things to look forward to. And I notice that my little gremlin comes out, like full force when I’m going to do something like that. I love it. Like I love speaking it’s so fun. And my little gremlin says Come on. Do you remember that time you were in fourth grade and you stood up and farted? In the middle? Like I will remember things I hadn’t thought of like because my unconscious mind the number one prime directive which you will see if you download that map to the unconscious mind is to keep me safe. It’s to keep me alive. And it doesn’t know yet. That I’ll be alive. It thinks this is dangerous. This is different. Pretty soon it’s getting used to it You know, it’s way more used to it than it was last year. But it’s still showing up, it’s okay. Because it is in those moments where I go, I hear Yeah, I know you’re scared, it’s gonna be okay. Don’t worry about it, I got this, I’m capable, I am confident, I am sure of myself, I have an excellent message, all the I Am is I can bring those back, it is in those moments that you begin to move towards your goal. It is in those little tiny moments that you begin to like fortify yourself, and you begin to change. And now after you’ve done this, I want you to just scan your body again. And you’ll notice that it’s shifted. You’ll notice that it’s totally different now. And you can do this exercise, you know, on Sunday nights, I do like a big planning of my week. And I will scan who check it, check, check, see what is coming up for you. And if there’s something else that you need to shift, shift it now you know how you’ve got the list. So I want you to hit your goal, see your world through the lens of the word that you picked for the year, whatever it is, however you do it, what you call it. You deserve to expand and grow and to have new experiences and to feel alive. I am doing the hard scary stuff with you. Because that is how I think we live a big life. All right. If you’re not already inside the collective, please join us. You know, do you know that it’s every week you get to coach with me every week. And it’s so fun. I love the community in there. Every week, I’m teaching something new. If you love the podcasts, you’ll love that. And it’s 420 bucks for the whole year. The whole year is the best deal. It’s the biggest deal ever. So join me in there, I would love to see you plus, we get on the phone and talk for 15 minutes. So it would be fun to get to connect with you too. So you can find all that on my website. I hope you have an amazing week. I love you so much. I’ll see you soon. Bye bye. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.

In this weeks episode Betsy talks about some experiences that showed her that life is magical and there is so much support we don’t realize is around us every day. She shares a story about Miley and how she knows she’s loving her from the other side. This show will uplift you and help you feel more connected to those you may have lost this holiday season.

Transcription:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big

Hi, welcome, everyone. Welcome to the Art of Living big, I just recorded the best episode, like the best episode. And then I looked down to press stop, and I had never actually hit go.

Oh, my gosh, well, maybe we can recreate it. So hi, welcome.

I don’t know if you’re listening to this, like before Christmas after Christmas. I’m late. I’m a day late. It’s Friday. I was supposed to have this episode out on Thursday. It’s been so hectic. And I know you’ve probably felt that too. And I just was like, I thought I what I thought was like, maybe I’ll skip this week. And then next week, I’ll do an episode. So many things have been happening. And just with the holidays, in general, it’s really busy.

But then that felt like when you text a friend, and then they don’t text you back, right? And you’re like, what happened? They were supposed to be here. And I never told you last week, I wasn’t going to be here. So I’ll tell you now next week, I’m not going to be here, because I am taking this season to like really dream a little bit. You know, we’ve been like tightening up some systems in the business. We just launched the alchemy Institute again, which was a big push and a lot of work. And we’re re

defining how we are pulling people through the process and what kind of support we’re giving them. And it’s just so much different. So there’s been a lot of work on that end. And so I just was like, I really want a time to just step back, you know, and just chill out and do whatever it is I feel like doing in the moment that I feel like doing it. Do you know what I mean? And so that is what I’m doing this holiday season. So I thank you for being patient with me. I won’t be here next week. So this will be the last episode of 2022. But I will see you guys next right after the new year. And I have some fun things planned. Because I know I’m doing systems and planning. So I have some really great ideas and some things that I want to share. So

alright, so one thing before I really dive into too much I want to tell you. Alright, so if you’ve been here for a little while, you remember, when I had cat on, she was an energy healer. And it was probably like two years ago that I had her on the show. And at that time, I worked with her pretty extensively. And if you remember how cat works, so cat,

like scans, I’m going to put it in my own words, but you can listen to that episode if you want. She scans your body and she sees gridlines and then she adjusts your grid lines. So that’s seems so abstract, but from my perspective, I think cat is really amazing. And she just helps you release and shed things. And I feel like there’s a lot of shedding energetically that she helps you with. And so anyway, what I was going to tell you was I started working with her again, and for 2023 One of the things that I’m really working on is going really a whole lot deeper, energetically and

and subconsciously. So this year for me 2022 was like the year of adventure. Right? I started out in,

in Florida at the beach. That’s where I went right after the new year or maybe I was there on New Year’s Eve. So I was there for a month I came home for just a short time I turned around and went to Iceland for a month. Like I’ve been in Sedona I’ve been in Key West. I’ve been into Sedona a couple times. I went to Scottsdale for an event. I’ve been like I’ve just I’ve been to Vermont. I’ve been all over. Okay, so this year was really my year of adventure. So

next year is really going to be my year of going deeper. Right? So anyway, so I’m working with Kat and

we start our work together. And what I do when she’s doing this is I have her on speakerphone and I lay on my back on my bed like

Like just, you know, palms facing up.

and just relaxing. And then she does her thing. And she does some stuff. And then she comes in like every 15 minutes and checks on me. Then she does like another sweep and then comes back and checks. And I can feel her when she’s in there. Right? It’s like, I’ll have a lot of muscle twitches in the area where she is.

Sometimes, like, if she’s in my torso, like in my belly, I can feel like my things in my belly moving around, right? It’s like energy moving, I can feel it. And And anyway, so we’re doing our session last week, she does a scan comes back and checks in does another skin comes back. And she’s like,

I don’t know what it is. But I like is there something with like a pink turtleneck? Like, are you thinking about a pink turtleneck or like a pink scarf or something? And I was like, oh my god, I was wearing this bright, bright. And if you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen it. But this like fluorescent pink, fuzzy sweater that I got, like a couple years ago, and Taylor and it zips up, right. So it’s like a turtleneck because it zips up high on your neck and bright pink. And I thought oh my gosh, like she can see that. Right, or sensei or whatever it is that she does. And so

I wanted to share that with you because I wanted to offer this idea that there is a level of

there is a level of energy. And that may not be perceived by us. Right? So there are people I think that have special perception.

Like my friend Trish and like cat, where they sense things that me, you know, you or me? Or maybe you can but like can’t sense. And

you know, when she recognized that I was wearing that. Like she didn’t know what it was. So I don’t know that she saw a picture or she got a feeling that it was this pink turtleneck. And why was this so prevalent? It’s because it was so darn bright. I’m sure she was probably like, I can’t see anything. But she had this like experience of it. And I think sometimes

I think sometimes we

don’t we can’t see it. So we think the bowl, it must not be that. And especially like this time of year, right? Like we’re missing people in our lives that have gone. And we have experiences where we’re like, oh, that’s that’s just a coincidence. Or I know, I think I feel them. But it’s probably just because I’m thinking about them. Or we dismiss a lot. Because we can’t recognize it in a way that makes them using air quotes like sense to us. And so we just dismiss it and say that’s not real. And maybe maybe you did that just now when I said like about cat, like that’s not real, because I can’t experience it, that it’s not real. And I want to just offer you the idea that maybe it is possible. And that maybe this holiday season, when you’re missing people in your lives, or you wish that they were around that there is another realm that you’re just not perceiving. And that may be those moments where you’re like, Oh, I feel like they’re here. Or I feel like I’m I feel like there’s like there’s something that maybe you can trust that and maybe you can say, You know what? It’s not just a coincidence, you know, this isn’t just a weird, funky thing. This is this is real. And I’m having a moment of perception. And I’m having a moment where I’m getting to experience that in a totally different way. You know, I think we dismiss a lot of that, but because we live so much in the physical plane, but I think it’s important to recognize there’s a spiritual realm, right? There’s an energy realm, there’s a physical realm, and that we can play in all of those, you know, we can partake in all of those things.

You know, you guys remember

last year my dog died. So it was like April 2021. My dog died. Miley. And I mean, I mean, I was heartbroken. I’m still heartbroken about Miley. But I had her I had her cremated and so I had her in like this, like wooden box that they gave her that I had to buy. I had her cremated and it has her name on it and it was fine. But it was like this box and it felt weird. She was on the bookshelf and I felt like she was I don’t know, it just felt weird. And then it felt like what am I going to do? Like what’s going to happen? Like we have, like, when I like what are we doing? Are you throwing it in the trash like when I go like what’s

happening, what are we doing? And so it just always felt kind of strange. She was so important to me. And I didn’t. I am so glad I have her ashes. I’m so glad I have her ashes. And it felt weird that she was just in this box on the bookcase. Right? But whatever. What else do you do? So anyhow, my daughter got a job this fall. And with her first paycheck, she hired a potter to make me an urn. And if you’re on Facebook, you may have seen it.

But it’s an urn that looks like her. She sent in pictures of Miley. So one of the ears is up, and one of them’s down, the little tail looks the same. It’s all just like her. It’s so cool. I mean, it is the coolest thing. And it just happened that her little collar fit on her perfectly. So I have kept her collar. So it’s, it’s perfect. It’s perfect. And so, you know, we took her out of the box and shoved her and then this other thing, and this ceramic thing that looks like her. And then when she was on the bookcase, I felt like she was with me. You know, I felt like she was kind of watching over me with my desk. And so I started moving around the house. Now just bear with me here. Like I know, this is a little strange, but it was kind of funny at first like I was like, I feel her so much more. Like I feel her and it felt rude to like, keep her like in the bookcase where she couldn’t really see out. Just hang with me. I know. I know. But if you’ve lost somebody or a pet, you know what I mean? But But I but having her in that container, I felt like I was able to

I don’t know, I felt like I was able to

maybe imagine like the imagining I could, that she was around felt more real. Right. So anyhow, we’d go in the living room, I put her under the Christmas tree. Yesterday, I got a new heated blanket. And I was like, Oh, she would love this. So I like moved her so she could be she could watch me sleep and the new heated blanket. I know it sounds so silly, but it brought me a lot of peace. And it was actually really fun. Which is it was fun. Right? So it was fun. And so I’m going to keep doing whatever feels fun. But I felt like wow, I can. I’m getting an idea that of what she would say or think now. Here’s why I tell you this.

Having her in that particular vessel made it easier for my conscious brain to say it’s her because it kind of looks like her. Were before I was dismissing stuff. I’m sure I was feeling it.

Great because I was feeling the spiritual realm. But I was dismissing it because it didn’t look in the way that would make sense to my brain for it to look and for whatever reason, when she got put into this little urn that looks like her. I was able to like make that leap. It’s so comforting and feels so like, good. I actually saw this woman on Tik Tok. My daughter and I were messaging about it. I was like, oh, no, she actually had her. It was her cat. I think she had her cat taxidermied. But she was saying how it brought her so much peace. It was just like a little sleeping cat, you know. And I was like, I sent it to my daughter. And I was like, I should have gotten her taxidermied and my daughter was like, Oh my God. But I think that’s what it is. It’s like the vessel, it looks like something that makes sense to our brain to this like physical realm that we’re so used to being in and being told that we have to be in. Right, that’s what we’re we’re told is that this is a physical reality, you have to hustle and work and, like, push your feelings aside for the most part, right? It’s a patriarchal society. And I’m not saying that against men, because men are just as much impacted by that as females are as women. And

and I think that that like cuts us off from this magic, this magical side. So you know what, if this holiday you felt really supported? And what if the things that you were working on right now that were hard? You knew you had a team that was just outside of your awareness but still there that could be supporting you or giving you ideas? You know, I ask out loud all the time he helped me with this helped me figure this out. helped me make this make sense. Give me some ideas. I asked before I go to bed, like helped me work on this helped me heal whatever has to be healed when I’m sleeping. I mean, I asked that all the time. Let’s make good use of the time, right when I’m just laying there unconscious every night. So

I wanted to offer you this whole idea this holiday that maybe you let your

Self feel the support, you let yourself feel a connection with somebody that’s just not visible to your physical experience. And that you feel all the love that the holiday season has for you. And that you use that you use that energy, and that love and that positive force to move into 2023 and a wave where you feel really supported. And that no matter how alone, you may feel in your physical experience, if you do know that you have this team that’s always working for you and always supporting you and always here. As you move into 2023.

I will see you after the New Year, I will be I will be enjoying my time just doing whatever I want, whenever I want. And I’m sure I will have loads and loads of ideas of new things to share. So I want to thank you so much for being here with me this year. It’s truly an honor. You know, we’re fixed finishing up like six years of the podcast. And you know, it’s so I don’t know, I just I love Thank you. Thank you. It is the greatest gift to be able to share and to be with you on your walks and your runs. And will you do cool things and you drive your kids to school and you lose weight and you do whatever it is you’re doing. I’m so grateful that you chose me to be in your ear. I love you so much. I hope you have an incredible holiday. And I will see you soon. Bye bye.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.

In todays episode Betsy talks about what you need to have a steady stream of new, joyful experiences and when it’s time to take a look at what’s supporting your life now. Does that support work for you? Does it need an upgrade?

She also talks about The Collective. You can join us here.

Transcript:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show. Today. We are right before Christmas. Are you guys ready? Are you ready? i It’s a weird to me. I don’t I I’m ready. Like I have the gifts either ordered or already here and wrapped. We have our tree up. I’ve been playing Christmas music. But something about it isn’t Christmas. See to me. I don’t know why this year feels weird. I feel like last year I felt more in the holiday. Like last year, I remember being like really into it with the holiday music and all of that. I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m curious. Is it just me? Are you guys feeling like that? I need to know, to know if it’s just me. Okay, so I have a couple, a couple things I wanted to tell you about. And then I have a thought. So like the thought that I want to share? So Okay, first thing I want to tell you about is? Have you guys watched the show on Netflix called 1899? Have you seen that? So, you know, we started watching it, I let me pause. If you’ve been here for a long time, you’ve heard me say, I’m not a big TV watcher. And I’m really not. And I’m super careful about what I watch. And when COVID happened, I found the love of binging on Netflix shows. So Craig and I usually will like pick a show and then we will like watch one every night. And it’s kind of like a, you know, we both work on I think I work on my calendar for the next day, my list of things to do. And he plays a game on his iPad while we watch. It’s like this little thing we do. It’s lovely. So we started watching this 1899. And if you haven’t seen it, you need to see it. By the time you get to the end, like the last two, maybe three episodes, I was like, oh my god, this is they were speaking my language. That’s all I’m gonna say. That’s all I’m gonna say. But if you like this show, I think you’ll like that show. If you like this podcast, I think you’ll like that show. So it’s called 1899. It’s on Netflix. All right. I got a lot of messages about the weight show that we did. I did put some of the hypnosis inside the collective, we’re doing some things inside the collective, I’m going to be working on some stuff for energy, and also money workshops. So I haven’t, I haven’t put all of the hypnosis in there that I did to do the weight loss stuff. But I will recreate those in a way that’s more professional than the versions that I had made for myself. So you heard me talk about how I did basically a cocoon day for myself. A cocoon day, if you’re new here is where someone works with me for like six to eight hours, and we totally reprogram reprogram one area of your life inside your unconscious mind. And then I really like using hypnosis, and like the audios of hypnosis as sort of like a, like a I don’t want to say I don’t like using, like affirmations are great, right? Hypnosis is great. And it’s really great if you’ve already done the change work and use it like as a supportive mechanism. Right. So almost like the cocoon day doing that work with me is when you get the braces on, you get the braces on your teeth totally transform and you get the braces off. And then the hypnosis is like a retainer. You don’t I mean, so it keeps everything going. So, um, so I’m going to be sharing more of that stuff. So if you’ve wanted to do anything with me, you know, the collective is the place to go. It’s insanely inexpensive, it’s a no brainer, and it’s it’s the place where everybody will be offered anything else that I do and I’m looking at doing some stuff, little retreats and things like that for next year, like small intimate kind of gatherings and that will be people in the institute or in the collective will be invited first. Okay, all right, all that I didn’t mean to get into all that. Really what I wanted to tell you was just that I was uploading some of those things. Okay. Okay, this is the next thing I wanted to tell you. I’m not really on tick tock. Remember I said I’m gonna go on tick tock. And I’m realizing this is a different thing. me, like, you know how there’s reels on Instagram. And the reels on Instagram are different from the tiktoks. Like, the vibe is different. I don’t know, I haven’t totally figured it out. So I decided to just pause while I figured it out, like how I want to what I want to do. So if you’ve gone over to tick tock to follow me, thank you, you’re the best, because it was scary over there. People are mean over there. And so I appreciate you so much. And I’m trying to figure out like the social media thing. Um, so the podcast feels natural to me, because it feels like you and I are just on a phone call. But the other stuff, I don’t know. I’m working on it. I’m expanding. Okay, so I just wanted to give you the TIC tock update. And then. And then I wanted to just talk about this thing that I’ve been thinking about. So, alright, so here’s kind of how this started. And speaking of TiC tock, I guess there are several tick tock accounts, which are accounts that are dedicated to rehabbing old houses. So, you know, I’m not like a house flipper, that hasn’t really ever been like a thing I’ve been interested in. But I really like seeing like the old houses, like the old banisters, and how they have all those old built ins, and the old hardwood floors and all that molding, like it’s so pretty and beautiful, and so many times now, and I have owned them, so I’m not knocking it. But there’s neighborhoods where it’s just like houses that are just like duplicated. Do you know what I mean? And those seem so intricate, and an individual. And so I’ve been watching a couple accounts as they have been updating. And, you know, sometimes they can save stuff like an old bathtub, and sometimes it just doesn’t work. And one of the things that I keep hearing them say, and I’ve heard this over and over and over again, is when the if the foundation is really good, like the foundation of the house is good, then we can, like we can clean it up, we can cosmetically make it look the way we want it to look. But the foundation’s got to be right. So if it’s a really old house that doesn’t have good wiring, they have to go back in and redo the wiring, right? Because the foundation, and not just like the foundation, like the cement of the base of the house, but like the foundational elements, you know, when I think of like a house foundational elements, it’s like, the electricity, like the plumbing hasn’t been updated, like, what’s the Heating and AC systems like in it? Like, what is the foundation? Is the foundation, the actual physical foundation of the building? Is it? Is it have integrity? And you know, when we think about integrity, we think about like, is it not broken? Right? Is it whole, and I’ve been watching these accounts, and I keep thinking about it, and you know, I make meaning at

anything. But I was like, you know, I think this is such an interesting metaphor for, like the New Year, and any time of the year. Anytime that we’re looking at reevaluating our life, or making big changes in our life, right, substantial changes that change the cosmetics, we’ve got to make sure that the foundation is right. And sometimes we think of foundation is like, well, that’s just the thing that I have. But we can update the foundation. Like maybe the ways in which you were brought up weren’t, weren’t the best, you know, maybe the things that you’ve experienced have been really hard and, and those things you could think of as like the foundational years of your life. We’re not simple or easy. But we get to choose, we get to choose, we get to say these are all the materials that I was given. And what do I want to what kind of house do I want to make with this. And you know, if there’s something that needs to be updated, you know, the wires worked at one point, that plumbing worked at one point, and now it doesn’t. So now I get to choose. And I get to say this was all the stuff I was given. And this doesn’t work anymore. So I’m going to upgrade, I’m going to I’m going to keep my foundation really strong. So that as I want to build on it, and I want to make big changes in my life and I want to create something new and I want to have these experiences that I can do that because I’ve worked on the foundation. And you know so much of the work that I do I consider it like foundational work right, like releasing negative emotions, you know, anger, fear, hurt, guilt, sadness, like all of those things like, like creating the foundation so that it is in integrity. See, I don’t I don’t think we’re broken at all. I see us as wholeness. And there’s been so much crap that we’ve all been through that it starts to impact the integrity of the foundation that then we’re trying to build on. And I think one of the problems with like, moving into, like, I’m going to use a new year just because we’re here. But anytime you’re listening to this, like anytime you want to start a new goal, or it’s Monday, or it’s the new month, or whatever it is that you have on your heart, then before you add on the second floor, or the wallpaper, right, or the extra crown molding, or whatever you want to do, you have to make sure the integrity of the thing can withstand whatever happens in the house. And so, you know, some of the questions as I was like, watching those and started thinking about this is like, what is my foundation made up of? Like, what are my values and beliefs that create the foundation? Like, what do I really stand for? Like, what is, is okay, in my world? And what is not? Okay, how do I want to treat people? And how do I require people to treat me, these are just some of the things that I’ve been thinking of in terms of like creating an end and testing that integrity of my foundation, you know, this foundation that I’m talking about is really the thing that’s going to hold you steady, when, you know, a tornado comes through, or a big storm, or a hurricane. And so, really taking a look. And so as you, you know, as we think about, like, I’ve got these big goals, and I know for me, I think most of us with goals, it’s it’s not really things that we want to accomplish. It’s things we want to experience, right? Like the goal that you have, like, I remember years ago, I ran up a marathon, like 26.2 miles, right, like an actual marathon, which, you know, note to self, it’s a long way. Don’t do it again. But I remember when I think back to that time that I was doing it, it’s not the actual event that I remember, as much, it’s not crossing the finish line. In fact, the memories I have of crossing the finish line are actually photos of me crossing the finish line. I don’t totally remember what it was like to cross the finish line. As odd as that might sound. I mean, it was a while ago, but, you know, the things that I remember the things that still inspire me and make me go, Oh, that was so good. Are the training days, like I remember training for it, like building it, like building the foundation that allowed me to have the experience. So I think that it’s the whole experience that were really after not really the goal of crossing the finish line. But we want to transform, because like the person who crossed the finish line, at that, at that event wasn’t the same person that took my first step when I first started running, and I was not a runner, when I started and I was like, oh, in six months, I think I’ll run a marathon. And like, you know, that became the, the all encompassing thing that I thought of. And so I think like when we think about like, what are the things you want to experience in your life? Right, maybe in this year, maybe next year, maybe five years from now? What are the things you want to experience in your life? And how can you create a foundation that supports that experience? What is it that will keep you steady? What do you have to rely on? And what is it that you have to know to be true? And so I wanted to leave you with that metaphor as you think and you begin to build what’s next for you. When you begin to think about the experiences that you want to have in your life and you start creating the foundation of what’s going to hold you as you as you do that experience as you have that journey. You know, this week, I’ve been listening to David Goggins new book. Do you guys know who David Goggins is? He wrote a book, his first book was called, can’t hurt me. And then his next book just came out and it’s, I think it’s called never finished. Anyway, David Goggins is a former Navy SEAL. He’s a savage, it’s, it’s his story is really, really unique and in in super interesting to me. He’s, he runs and if you follow him on social media, like he just runs all the time. And it’s interesting because in the book, he says, Everybody thinks I just run, but really, like, really, I’m pushing the limits of my body, you know, this, this foundation that he had was piss poor, he didn’t have a good upbringing and he transformed the foundation. And then he just tests it. He tests it with physical endurance events. That’s how he chooses to do it. We can each choose to do that in a different way, right? Because that’s how we have experiences and we grow and change. If you haven’t heard his book that the one that I’m listening to now, and I’m listening on Audible, I’m going to tell you first of all, listen on Audible, because he does like little mini podcasts in between the chapters. And it’s super interesting. And the guy that reads it is really good. The second thing is start with the first one, because it actually is like a first and second part. You know what I mean? Like, you gotta hear the first one to get the second one, but it’s so good. Can’t hurt me is the first one. Get it, get it, get it so good. So I listened to the first one in like two days, I walked my dog a million miles just so I could keep listening. And it always inspires me to start running again. That’s why I thought of this because of the marathon. But you know, but the putt, then I don’t. But it doesn’t inspire me. So I want you to think this week, like as you decide, like, maybe you have goals, maybe you have experiences, maybe you have things you want to know and and learn about yourself next year. Maybe you have words, right, that are your thing. I want you to ask yourself, What’s the foundation that I need to have in place in order to build that? What’s the foundation I need to have in place in order for that to be possible? And if I don’t have it in place, what do I need to do now to make that happen first? If I can help you just reach out and let me know. This is going to be an amazing year. I’m excited. I’m so happy to have been here with you this past year. Is this my last episode of the year? No, there’s another one. There’s another one I am taking off from the 20th to the end of the year. So I’m kind of excited about that. I’ll be in and out. Not doing too much. So I’m going to just try and re group and get ready for all of the amazing experiences that are ahead for me and 2023. So I love you so much. You are awesome. And you’ve done a great job. I know this year hasn’t always been really easy. And you’ve kept going. You’re still here. And I think that’s freaking awesome. All right. Have an amazing week, and I will see you next time. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen.

Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM, shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.

In today’s episode, Betsy shares six key things she’s doing now to continue creating reality in a way that she chooses. She talks about getting uncomfortable and why it’s important but also how to set it up so that it feels expansive and not full of anxiety.

The six tactical changes she’s making start first thing in the morning and and implemented all day so that you stay conscious and don’t allow yourself to slip back into habits of thought that don’t support where you want to go.

To join us on the journey inside The Alchemy Institute, be sure to check out www.TheAlchemyInstitute.co and reach out to Betsy if you have more questions!

Transcript:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big.

Hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everybody. Welcome to today’s show. I have some ideas. You know, it’s funny, because I’ve been doing this show for I mean, I think it’s a little over six years now, I want to say like six and a half years, but I think I started it like in August or September. So like six little over six years. And recently I was on a podcast called do the thing. She asked me to come back on and be on a podcasting panel for a challenge that she’s doing. Now. I was on the panel on Monday, and we were all talking it was a bunch of podcasters some people have had podcasts or podcasts like the same amount of time, some people had multiple podcasts, like it was just really fascinating to hear how everybody, like, got started. But the interesting thing was that so many people have this, like, I’m gonna call it like this radar, that as they’re going through their lives, they’re looking at everything through the lens of this thing that just happened. Is this something worthy of sharing, right? Is this like educational or thought provoking? Or inspiring or worth while of telling you like, is it entertaining? You know, and it’s funny, because I know that I view my world through that. And that has been really, really helpful to me for lots of reasons. One is for the podcast, one is for my speaking, one is just for making meaning out of my life. But it was interesting, because all the people on the podcast on that panel did the same thing. So as I’ve been going about the past few weeks, I have been as I always do, like thinking underneath, like, how can I share this? How could this be helpful to people? And is this something that could propel people forward? Right? So I’ve got some tactical things that I’ve been doing that I think might help you, as you expand into the next part of your life, the next year, or however feels comfortable to you. I know some people don’t like the whole resolution thing, which I’m totally fine with. I like Mondays, I like fresh starts. I mean, afternoons is a fresh start to me, of constantly giving myself another chance to just release the past and start over. And I think that’s what a lot of resolution time is, right? It’s an opportunity for people to let go of everything that’s already happened of all the stories, and all the past failures or perceived failures and to create something totally different in their life. And I think that’s like the hope, right? It’s like this piece of hope that we’re like, I have the belief that things can get better. And so I’m going to take this leap, I’m going to set this resolution or whatever you call it, it, it’s the essence of it is the same, right? It’s this fresh start in this hope. And I know, you’ve probably heard me talk over the past like 12 months, 18 months about how different things have been. And I know that back in May, I’ve talked about how I started getting like a lot of anxiety.

I became obsessed with calm that those gummies I talked about those all the time. I also eat those Well, I’m drinking coffee, like I’m like, maybe I should just stop drinking the coffee. But I think if I eat enough magnesium, it’ll, it’ll cancel out the coffee. So I know that for me, that was an indicator that I’m stepping outside the box. So although it felt uncomfortable, and I didn’t especially enjoy it, I knew that it meant I was doing different things. And I was this year was totally different in a variety of ways. And I felt that right. I felt it in my body. I had to learn to adjust my nervous system to be okay with the things that were happening, because they were new things. And what’s interesting is I’ve got some of those things happening again at the beginning of 2023 that were new back in May and June, July and August. And those things I realized this morning, I was like those aren’t hardly even a blip for me now. Like I know they’re coming and I’m like cool, but like I’m not like oh my god is coming. I gotta make sure I’m ready. There’s no anxiety. I don’t need to take calm. I just take them now because I like

how they taste. So, like it. I know, though, that I’ve, I want to experience that level of

I don’t want to be anxiety ridden. That’s not what I’m saying. But like that uncomfortableness, right, because that means I’m continuing to grow. And I think that as I move forward, and I say, Okay, I want that uncomfortableness, I want to know that I’m growing. I want to step outside my comfort zone and do totally different things. I have a giant pack of calm, I have a jumbo canister of calm, I’m ready. Also, I want to put things in place that start to support this version of me that I’m calling in, so that I don’t have to mess around with all of that. Right? How cool would it be to know I’m doing totally new things. And although I sense, there is a shift, I’m not feeling unhappy from it, I’m not feeling anxiety ridden, I’m just feeling like, oh, this is a little uncomfortable. To me, that would be far superior than being anxiety ridden. I also want to point out when I say anxiety ridden, what I mean is the feelings of anxiety, I didn’t have diagnosable anxiety that’s different. So I’m talking here about the feelings of anxiety and the feelings of being really nervous or of, of being outside your comfort zone. So I want I’ve been doing some things as I was approaching the whole idea of 2023. And what I really want to create for my life, how I want to uplevel the things I want to experience. Once I had those figured out, I was like, I’m going to start now, like, the first week in January for me is going to be like week five of this. So I wanted to start now. So I offer that to you. Because you also could start now, I also don’t mean like, stress yourself out and be super busy and be hardcore on your goals unless that feels aligned to you. I also am finding a balance between flow and hustle, right, the flow of being in alignment with things and the hustle of doing the work, right of like showing up and doing what needs to be done to make it happen. So I want to share with you some of the tactical things that I’ve been doing and some of the shifts in case you want to adopt those or it causes you to just think of something a little bit different. So Alright, so let’s get started here. And actually, if you want to go through some of this, let me say this really quick. And actually, no, not really quick, let me share with you an opportunity, I have something called the collective. This is simply access to all my courses, including my new course personal deep streaming, which if you’re on my text list, and you get my texts, it is how I get those messages. So there is a course in there now for that, as well as like six or seven of my other courses, all my hypnosis is everything.

And then once a week, I come in live almost like a live podcast. It’s usually like 20 minutes. There’s time for q&a, if anybody has questions, and I’m sharing a new idea or way to see things or two way to help you uplevel your life. It’s it’s much more tactical, I think, than the show typically is. But definitely I give you journal prompts and things to do so that when you come the next week, we’re already moving forward and giving you more new ideas that kind of stack on. So if you’re interested in joining us, and you just go to my website, you’ll see right underneath that big picture of me, you know, the big thing that says like hire me to speak right underneath that you’ll see it it says join the collective weekly dates with your unconscious mind. That’s where you want to go join us get in there now it’s it’s so insanely inexpensive. You guys, if you don’t jump in there, now you’re gonna kick yourself later. It’s less than a cup of coffee, like the kind of coffee you make at home every day. So it’s cheap. But honestly, it’s a no brainer. If you want to do any kind of work with me. It’s a no brainer. So, so jump into the collective. And then let’s get started on kind of how I’ve been thinking and doing things for this coming year.

You’ve heard me say this before. And you probably have heard this before. You’ve probably thought this before. But

I believe that we are creators that we create our reality. And there’s science to back this up in terms of my reticular activating system. And what I’m focused on begins to be shown to me more and more and more, my brain starts to scan for that and look for it. So it knows what’s important to me. If I’m lingering on something, spending a lot of time there, or if it’s highly emotional thing

give it like a Facebook algorithm. Facebook knows when I like somebody posts something, even if it’s something I don’t like, if I interact with it, Facebook thinks I want to see more of it, right? So think of your reticular activating system like that we are constantly creating, by making choices. We’re constantly creating by what we choose to spend our time on, or put our focus on, or give our attention. And if that’s true, which I know it is, scientifically, I know that that’s true. And I know that’s true from the work that I do with NLP, then why would I ever get up in the morning, and go completely unconscious, and go in the bathroom and brush my teeth? And, you know, get in my sweatpants and come out and get my coffee? Or put my workout clothes on? Why would I do any of that? Before I decided who I wanted to be? Now the moment that I get up, and I’m not conscious ly thinking, right? I’m not consciously thinking, I’m going unconscious. And so all of my past patterns and behaviors and thoughts and experiences are just running. So if I know it’s true that I’m creating my reality,

and I want something new, then wouldn’t it make sense to create the new reality for myself before I got out of bed. So that is the work that I have been doing. As soon as I get up, I have to go pee. So I do do that unconscious, I get right back on, I make my bed actually. And I sit right back up on my bed, I have one of those brown pillows that goes under your knees. So I sit I put the blanket on, I put that round pillow under my knees and I put my headset on. So now, if you don’t have one of those round pillows for under your knees, like really get you one is good. So I’m there. I’m like, relaxed. I’m still in that space of not quite awake and not asleep. Do you know how you could get up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom, and you’re awake, but you’re not really that’s where I want to stay. And the reason is, because that’s a shift or a change in my brainwave state. And I want to be in that brainwave state, my brainwaves are at a slower rate. Because in that state, I’m very suggestible in that state, when I think of things or hear things, I don’t have a conscious reaction that rejects it. So it’s really nice if I can stay in that state. And what I do is I meditate, and I go in, and I get in the feeling of what it is that I want to accomplish. Now, when I first started doing this, like three weeks ago, I started going really big, like I started going like, Okay, I’m gonna get in the feeling of the version of me, who lives at the beach, or I don’t even know if that’s truly what I want, right? So it was feeling like, kind of a lot of like, it was feeling like,

Okay, I’m focused on this, but it’s not really, I don’t even know if this is what I want. And this isn’t really real. You know how sometimes you have those goals, or you put stuff on your vision board. And in the back of your mind, you’re like, This is never happening. Like, I just don’t even know if that’s really what I want, or, you know, so I started out that way, this big picture of me like imagining myself walking back to my pool, you know what I mean? And that’s fine, it felt good. And I was feeling a shift from that I was noticing that I had shifted, and I’ll explain what I mean in a second. And then I thought, I want to get really specific on this with what I’m trying to accomplish right now. So what I’m trying to build or what I’m trying to do right now. And so now in the morning, I have been diving into this month in December. And you heard me talk about it last week about how we’re enrolling in the alchemy Institute, and I’m doing this beta, which I think is going to be so cool. And so I’m talking to people and getting people enrolled. And so I have an idea of what that looks like I have an idea of people going, oh my god, this changed my life. I have a vision of people messaging me and me seeing the emails pop up that say, I never thought this would happen to me the way that it did. I never thought I would have these ideas. I never thought I’d be able to I never thought I would. You know once we get exposed to something, then we get exposed to other things and other things and other things. Right. So I have this, this dream, this idea that people will be exposed to it and then all of the sudden they’ll go oh my god, this is the thing. This next thing that came from that is the thing I’ve been looking for. So I’m really getting in that moment of what does that feel?

like to know that we’ve brought these dozen people together. And they’re going through this incredible experience together. And they’re shifting and changing and also learning and like how I show up in that, right? How I’m helping facilitate that, that change and how we’re handling all the things I’m like, I’m imagining that and really getting in the energy of that.

And then from there, I get up, and I hold that, I hold it as long as I possibly can. And I go, and then I brush my teeth, and I do my workout and I do my journaling. And I eat my breakfast, and I do my normal things from that space, as that version of me because that version of Mies reticular activating system is different. That version of me is going to notice the different things, it’s gonna require different things, it’s going to show up in a different way. And so I want to hold that as long as I can. I want to hold it all day, if I can. And so before I get out of bed, right with any significance other than going to be, I get into being who I want to be the version of me who has what I want, right now, again, I didn’t go big, like, the version of me that wants what I want right now. And this month is a component of that bigger version. But it felt much better. And I also began getting signs and ideas and things that would happen that would help me in this moment, which was really helpful.

The second thing that I’m doing is I’m being super intentional, before everything that I do. So this isn’t just like, Okay, well, my intention is to have fun. I mean, that’s great. But I mean, before I send an email, I actually type out my intention for sending this email. Before I do this podcast, my intention for doing this podcast, you know, before I text, my husband, my intention for texting my husband, I am trying to bring that intention into my awareness. And what I’ve found is a couple things. One is that it creates a much better focus, so that I’m communicating so much clearer. My ideas aren’t scattered all over, because I absolutely know the direction that I’m going. And it helps me come up with ideas for the thing. I was trying to write an email, I don’t know, maybe like two weeks ago, inside the collective every Monday morning, I send out this guidepost with my thoughts for the week what we’re going to work on a journaling prompt stuff like that. And I was like, I know what I want to say, but it’s not coming out wasn’t coming out, right. And all of a sudden, I was like, Oh my gosh, I didn’t do the intention. So I set the intention. And all of the sudden it was like, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, like a game. So clear what I was supposed to be how I was supposed to be communicating it, it was just really, really great. So I want to offer the idea of setting up intention.

And,

you know, we can go really extreme with this, which I have. I’m getting in the car, what’s my intention? My intention is to have it be easy to have the traffic, the roadways be clear, to have good songs to listen to, to be and have it be enjoyable, right? I mean, I can have an intention for every part of what my day is, you know, ate lunch, my intention is to be fueled and to feel good. And to feel like I have a lot of energy and feel like I’m supporting my body. Like, we can be intentional about everything. And it will change what your actions are, it’s going to change how you experience the thing. And if you can set up your intention, so that aligns with who you are being that you chose in the morning. If you didn’t go unconscious, then that’s a great way for you to help reinforce that throughout the day.

All right, so here’s my other tactical thing that I’ve been doing. Number three is I

I check my emails, I have my emails on all the time. And I have heard before like only check your emails a few times a day and I just am like I can’t like I am always checking like it’s a habit. It’s unconscious. And so I decided I was going to make it conscious by making a rule that anytime I checked, I could check anytime because it didn’t feel good to me to only have certain times it felt weird. So I can check anytime but if I check, and there’s something to deal with. I

I have to deal with it right then. So I can’t just read through 10 emails and then be like, I’ll come back later. Because what was happening was I was getting like 40 emails deep of stuff that I had to take action on. And I hadn’t done, you know, replied back with a link or filled out a form or done whatever I needed to do. You know, I have people on my team that are messaging me a lot, my booking agent, lots of other things, fill this out, do this, do this. And if I’m looking at it, but then I’m not ready to take action, then those things like start to clog, and then a couple of days go by, and I’m like, Oh, dang, I wake up at three o’clock in the morning, like, Oh, my God, I never filled out that form. So my thing is, I can look anytime. But if I look, and I have to take action, I have to take action on it, then I can’t go to the next email, I have to reply right, then I have to do whatever right then. And that has been so huge, because it has emptied out my brain. I was, you know, we talked about, if you’re new here, I’m going to explain this again. But we talked about the chunks. So I’m taking in a couple million bits of information into my nervous system. I’m receiving those bits by things, I’m seeing things, I’m hearing things I’m feeling right, all this stuff coming into my nervous system. But my nervous system, my mind can’t handle all of that. And so what my unconscious mind does, is it takes everything in, and then it sections off about 126 of those bits of information. Okay, so I’ve got 2 million pieces of information coming in, I’m only looking or getting conscious awareness of 126 teeny, teeny tiny bit. When people say you only use like 5% of your brain, I think this is what they’re actually talking about. So my unconscious mind is seeing and hearing everything, every voice outside every temperature change every, every little thing that’s going on, that I’m not consciously aware of. Like, for example, right now, can you become aware of your heel,

you probably weren’t even aware you had to heal before they said that. But now you’re like, my attention has gone there. That means your energy has gone there. Okay, so now it’s in your conscious awareness, it’s in one of those 126 bits of information. But here’s what my brain does, is it it? chunks, things. So when we talk about 126 bits, we’re talking about seven, plus or minus two chunks. So maybe nine chunks, maybe five chunks, that my brain chunks stuff into to help me remember, now this is in my conscious awareness. So if I’m, if I have a bunch of little things I have to do around the house, right. And then and like, I’ve got to wipe off the kitchen counter, I’ve got to sweep up something the dog made a mess with his toy, I gotta pick that up, like, might be four or five things, but I’ve chunked those into one thing, because that’s like household stuff I gotta do, I gotta run to the grocery store. So now I have a list running list in my head, right? If you don’t make a list, you’ve got a running list in your head, I gotta get butter, I gotta get sugar, I gotta get chunking into the stuff that you’d need at the store. Okay, so I’m chunking stuff all the time.

Now, if I have these emails that I have opened the tab, and they have gone into my brain, they are taking space away

from my chunks, right there taking the 126 bits. If I’m thinking about those things, then I’m not thinking about other things. I can’t deal with everything. And so my unconscious mind says just put it in your unconscious, just make her forget for a minute because she can’t remember everything. And the moment it goes into my unconscious, I’m going to be thinking about it three o’clock in the morning and wake up because my unconscious mind is gonna be like, Hey, do you have to do something with that? We’ve been keeping track of it, but consciously you never dealt with that. So if I go into my email, and I deal with it, in that moment, it never has to figure out what to do. I just release, release, release. So now I’m meditating, I’m becoming this person I want to be I’m setting an intention before I do everything. And I’m dealing with things that are coming into my awareness and putting them in the proper space so that they’re not out there floating around. Okay, so now my energy is opened up right when I said look at your heal your energy goes there. So I’m opening up I’ve got more energy now. I want to put my energy on who I’m being I want to have energy for things. And so this is a way for me to get rid of this clog right that I’ve had. Alright, the next thing that I have done tactical thing is that if I go on so

Social media. And if you follow me on social media might see I haven’t been there as much the last couple of weeks. There’s a part of me that says I should write I should. But what I, I’ve been really busy, and I want to be I want to set a time limit every time I go on social media, because I do not want to go unconscious. I go unconscious on social media. And sometimes like, if it’s a weekend and I’m like, I want to spend an hour on Tik Tok, be entertained. That’s totally fine, because that’s my intention. So I am, I am setting a time limit. And I’m setting the intention for what am I trying to accomplish? Because here’s what will happen is you will go on there,

maybe you won’t, I do, I will. I will go on there. And then I’ll start to see stuff. I am not consciously thinking, Oh, I’m not enough or I’m not doing that they’re doing this. I’m not consciously doing that.

And I think I’m unconsciously doing that. I’m unconsciously comparing myself to other entrepreneurs. And what I do is I compare myself to really big entrepreneurs, people with multi multimillion dollar businesses that have huge teams. And I don’t have a huge team. I have an amazing little team but I but I don’t have a huge team and but I’m comparing myself to somebody who does like for example, Mel Robbins, right? We have the same glasses, which is why a lot of people ask me like, Oh, do you know Mel Robbins. It reminds me of Mel Robbins. And in my heart I’m like, Ah, I want Mel Robbins to remind you of Betsy pake.

That’s who I’m being. I’m being Betsy pake at the very highest level. But then when I go into social media, all of a sudden, I’m not being the best version of Betsy pake, I’m being the comparison of Betsy pake to somebody else. And so I’m setting a time limit and an intention on social media. What is it? Why am I doing this? Why am I going on here? And what is it that I’m trying to accomplish? Because if I’m Mindlessly scrolling, just for where I am right now, in my life, like I said, on the weekends, perhaps I want to be entertained, perhaps I want, you know, something else. But during the week, I am trying to be really intentional. And and even on the weekend, I want to make sure that I’m I’m noticing why I’m spending time there. And what I really want to accomplish, and entertainment is okay, as long as you’re aware. And that’s your intention. And if your intention is to be entertained, your unconscious mind is going to skip right over the ways that you could be comparing. Okay. All right. This is the last thing that I am doing 12345 The fifth and final thing that I’m doing

is that I’m asking myself, Is this helping me?

Is this helping me? So

you know, I think we all have ideas or goals or things that we’d like to experience in our life. And maybe you’re not like a super goal, like you’re not setting out your SMART goals. I don’t necessarily do that either. But we have an idea of what we’d like to experience. Right. And

we have thoughts or ideas, maybe places we want to see in the world, maybe things we’d like to do for work, right maybe how we’d like our relationships to be maybe things we’d like to do with our kids or the way we’d like our relationship to be with our kids, all of that stuff. And so as I’m setting my intention, I’m also evaluating is this helping me? Is it helping me get to that? And honestly, if I worked for somebody else, especially if it’s work related,

what I put this off, like, because sometimes they’ll be like, I don’t feel like doing that, which is a,

I guess, like a benefit of working for yourself. But also, sometimes things need to get done. So I’m like, Is this helping me by not doing it? And if it doesn’t matter, that’s fine. It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna do this other thing first, and then I’ll do it. That’s totally fine. But if it’s something that I’m saying, is this helping me and I go, No, this is not helping me. This is actually the old me. This is actually me being unconscious. That’s pulling me back into how I used to be before I did my meditation and decided who I wanted to be what the best version of me was. And so if I’ve gone unconscious, I can consciously make a choice to get back into that feeling. So by asking myself this question, is this helping me allows me to reevaluate and ask myself, Is this helping me or have I gone unconscious?

And then at the end of the day, I asked myself, I sit

I guess this would be my final thing is that I sit and I ask as I reevaluate the day, if you’ve gone through any of my programs that you’ve heard me say this, but when I teach, either inside the institute or inside my RISE program, I teach about a methodology that I use in the evening. In fact, I’ll, I’ll go through some of that in the collective. That’s a great thing to do at the beginning of the year, but I, my nighttime routine is just as important as my dates morning, my morning routine. And I evaluate, where did I go unconscious? What negative emotions came up for me? What limiting beliefs did I identify? And how can I shift so that I feel better about the day, and none of this is lingering? In my unconscious, I’m closing the loops.

And I’m getting to a place where I feel good about the day. And I can release anything that might be holding me back, I can just let it go. And there’s different ways that we do that with NLP. And I think that it’s something that we can simply ask ourselves, where did I go unconscious? Where did I go unconscious, and just go over your entire day? And then you can decide next time that happens? What can I do differently? How can I how can I remain present in the moment, so that I am aware of my choices, and my time and my intention.

And I really think that when we can begin to do that when we can begin to be present in that.

That’s, that’s how we can live a really big life. So I hope that these ideas helped you, I hope you take one or two or all of them and begin to implement, I hope that this next 12 months can be really, really incredible for you, I know that it can. And I hope that I see you and get to know you inside the collective or inside the alchemy Institute. This year, those are the places I’ll probably be the most and I would I would love to get to know you better. So thank you so much for listening. I love you so much. You deserve so so so much. And I’m rooting for you. Alright, I will see you all next week. Bye. Bye.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.

This week on the show Betsy talks about her month of November and some special signs that she knew showed that we are always being supported. She explains how intuition can lead us to notice these signs and shares some things to contemplate for 2023.

Betsy also shares about a special “Beta” program she is running inside The Alchemy Institute that will change the way coaches operate in the world.

Transcript:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello, welcome to the show. Hi, fellow adventurers. I’m excited you’re here, I have so many things to say, I think this is going to be like one of those coffee talk episodes, right. So like, go get your coffee, and then come back. Or I can go with you. And we’ll just pretend we’re at a, you’re at a coffee shop with a very chatty friend, because you can’t get a word in edgewise. But I have a lot of things that I want to tell you. I actually don’t have my coffee, I’ve left my my tea on the desk, and I’m hiding in the closet. Because the moment that I decide, the moment that I decide to start recording this podcast, it triggers something in the universe that tells every landscaper with a leaf blower to come right outside my building and start blowing leaves. So I am hiding in my closet. So I will not have my drink with me. But that’s okay, we’re going to do this anyway. Okay, so there’s just some things that I want to talk about that I want to catch you up on. The other thing, if you’ve been here for a while, you know that I record my episodes, three weeks in advance, this one isn’t this is three days in advance. So I just really wanted to be able to be way more spontaneous and sharing with you like real time. And so I’ve gone back to doing that. So that feels better. To me. One of the things that I’ve done, I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but one of the things I’m really shifting is really getting hyper aware of what how things make me feel, and then making the adjustments from there so that I’m always in a place where I am intentional about creating the positive energy that I want. So I’m here, I’m here, and it’s, it’s current, it is timely. Alright, so let’s, let’s just zoom right back to the beginning of the month. Okay, so I haven’t recorded an episode since the beginning of the month, because I was always three weeks ahead. So the beginning of November, I went to Sedona for the final class with my master NLP practitioners. So this was a really huge deal for me personally, I hope it was for them too. But it was really a culmination of many years of this training that I have been going through and then training to become an expert to be a trainer in NLP and EFT and hypnotherapy and all of those things that I talked about. And I and I teach inside the alchemy Institute. And so I have been working with these folks really for like a year, you know, they went through all of the, the NLP practitioner stuff. And then they all moved into Master Practitioner, we started working together in June, and we would meet up every week on Zoom. And then we did this weekend in Sedona, that was like a culmination of it. So there was a couple days of training, and then two days, where I have taught them my process for what I call what I call cocoon days, when you come into Atlanta, and you spend the day with me, we work on one thing for the whole entire time, so that we shift that on a very deep level of your unconscious mind, and then that thing becomes totally rearranged. And so they were coming to Sedona, to have that experience to have that huge shift themselves and then to provide the shift for somebody else. So this was like a huge deal. Because it wasn’t just like all of my training coming up to this, I’m teaching the highest level of NLP that you can be trained at. And so it was cool for me because it was like my first class, right going through the whole process with me. And it was cool for me because they were getting to have this huge transformation. And I was just so excited to be able to witness that and be part of that and then to celebrate when it was done. You know what I mean? to like, be there and, and be able to witness this new version of them that was stepping forward and it was amazing. But I want to tell you that as I was planning it, I had an Airbnb. And my husband was starting a new job and so he wasn’t going to be able to come with me. And so I’m To make a long story short, like a few weeks before, a few weeks before, I was talking to a friend of mine, who I really I have, I mean, I’ve talked to her. But you know, when I moved into the city, I feel like we just didn’t see each other as much. And she had a lot of things going on in her life. And I had a lot of things going on in my life. But it’s the kind of friend that you know, you don’t talk to for a while, but then you text every once in a while. And it’s like, no time has passed, you know, that kind of friend. And so she messaged me, or she called me for some reason we jumped on the phone. And I am telling you that I had this. I had this, this thing where I, as we were talking, I said, you should come with me to Sedona, I have this Airbnb, I have an extra bedroom, you could come and just use it as a home base, and just like, go and hike and do whatever and take like a week’s vacation. I already paid for the Airbnb. And she was like, Oh my God, yes. And like within 20 minutes, like had her plane ticket. And we were set to go. And I have this weird feeling after because I was like, not that I don’t love her or want her to go. But I was like, Why did I do that? Like, I hope this isn’t hard, because I’m going to be teaching and I don’t want you know, there’s this group has been together. And there is a system, a structure that happens within groups. And I didn’t want that to get disrupted. And I was like, I hope I didn’t like bite off more than I could chew. Do you know what I mean? I don’t want her to come and then feel like she’s in the like, not in the mix. Do you know what I mean? But she’s so friendly and fun. I was like, it’ll be fine. Like, I kind of dismissed myself. But I thought I invited her. It was a it wasn’t even it was how do I describe it came out like an almost as it was coming out. I was like, Oh, that’s a really good idea. But it was as I was having the idea it was coming out. It was almost like I was composed to say it. And you know, I talk a lot about following my intuition, you know, that I’ll follow that I’ll drive and if it says turn right, a turn, right. And if it says, Stop, I stop, you know, I try to play with it. With my with my intuition. What is my intuition telling me to do. And I have noticed now that the space between do this thing, and me doing the thing has become increasingly shorter, to almost where like, the intention happens, like where I feel the intention. And then like immediately, I’m taking the action of it before I consciously think through whether I should or not or how much time I have or any of that stuff. And so when that happened, I thought about it, actually, quite often afterwards, because I was like, that was a moment where my intention was coming through almost like as I was doing it, like, it felt different to me. But it didn’t think, you know, I didn’t think much about it after that. And, you know, it came into my awareness a couple times. But I was like, it’s fine. I just, I thought I was thinking about it more, because I was like, I hope it’s not uncomfortable or or it’s not hard because I’m trying to teach. So I was supposed to leave on a Wednesday morning. And we went to a football game in Florida. That weekend before it was like Halloween weekend. And as we were leaving the game on Saturday night, I got a text from my mother in law. And she said I’m trying to call Craig his dad’s in the hospital. And so we headed home in the morning and my husband headed up to North Carolina about nine hours away to be with his dad. And I was kind of waiting. And i i It was a moment where I was really torn because I wanted to be with him. Well, he was going through this hard thing, right of like is, you know, the worry of like, as is my father in law gonna be okay. And the worry of Craig being alone, you know, because that’s why you have a partner for hard things. And also being excited because I was going to finish this big thing. So it was like this push and pull of like, I’m both like joyful and worried and excited and apprehensive. Like I was this dynamic that felt like really disorienting. Honestly, like I felt like I was sort of like you know, when you’ve had too much caffeine, sort of like my nervous system was confused almost. And we can hold two things. You know, I say this all the time, like we can hold two emotions. One doesn’t discount the other doesn’t make the other less. Just because the excitement was there doesn’t mean the worry wasn’t there and vice versa.

And so then we were, we were talking, what do I do and we both felt like I needed to go to Sedona I wanted to go, but also that I needed to, I have had eight people flying in from all over the country to join together for this big event, you know, and I invited my friend. So on Tuesday, my father in law actually went into hospice. And I flew out on Wednesday morning, and I told everybody what was going on that was in like, traveling with me, my friend, Cindy and another gal. And as we were pulling in to the Airbnb, I opened up my email to like, look, to find the code, you know how Airbnb is, we’ll have like the punch code thing to get in the building. Now, if you’ve been here for a little while, you might remember back in April, I went to stay with a friend of mine from high school. And her mom was in hospice and was passing away and she passed away in April. And it was my mom’s best friend. Okay, so if you’re new here, I’m sorry if this is a little confusing, but my mom died when I was in high school. So her best friend, it was even more important to me, right than just a friend’s mom, it was somebody I grew up with. And it was my mom’s best friend. So as I was, as I was opening up the email, and I started getting out of the car, searching for the email to get the code, I walked up to the front door, found the email, opened it up, and it was the date that she had died. And I’m telling you, I pressed in the code, oh, four to seven pound. And when I hit pound, my iWatch, buzzed. And I looked down, and it was from my husband, and he said, My dad died. And now, if you’ve been here for a while, you know, I just don’t believe there are coincidences. I believe all things happen for a purpose, I believe when we can start to really follow our intuition, we can be guided and even though that means will still experience hard things. Those hard things will be joined with comfort, with ease, and with like a feeling that you’re being supported. And so you know, I can’t speak for my husband and what he was experiencing in all of that, but for me, I knew that it was fine. Like I knew it was okay, because that date that I punched in was the date that Michelle had passed, and my sister’s birthday. And I just felt like it was all so connected, you know. And, and so I ended up making some adjustments to our schedule, so that I could leave a little bit early, so I could headed head home, my husband was going to drive all the way back to Atlanta, get me and we were going to turn around and drive all the way back to North Carolina. And so I condensed a couple of my training days into one and everybody was so flexible and amazing. But then, they had these two days where they had to do this work on each other. And they knew what they had to do. In fact, I didn’t have to teach during that time, I just had to be there if they had questions or whatever. And all of a sudden, I was like, I have my friend here. And I can leave. And she can be here to wrap things up. And to make sure everybody’s okay and to reach out with me if, to me if people have questions or need anything. It was like divine support, you know, that, that that moment that I had that thing where I was like, I need to invite her. And I just did almost like before I could even think about it. Although even if I thought about it, I probably would have turned out to be this incredible support system where I could relax, where I could go and say I can serve both places where my heart is, right I can be with the people inside the institute. And I can give them what they need. They didn’t suffer that was perfect. And I could also head back early so that I could be with Craig and celebrate the life of my father and it was just all such a really interesting combustion of situations and experiences and feelings and, and signs. You know, I’ve talked about this so much on the show, but there are so many signs in our lives and so many ways that we’re being guided when we start to open up to it, you know, if I if I hadn’t been practicing, and I do believe it is a practice of following my intuition, right taking those little leaps trusting it. I may have gotten the idea to invite my friend and then said, Ah, that’s too confusing. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. What if something happens like, and I have to teach longer than I thought? Or do you know what I mean? Like, she’s gonna be bored or whatever. Like, all of those things may have come up. And I may have stopped what the universe, I believe was trying to put in place to allow me to do both things to allow me to be in the places where my heart wanted to be. And, you know, I think, for me, that was just such a profound experience in opening up to that trusting. And when I think about 2022, you know, as we’re rounding out the year, it’s what has made this year, so great for me, part of what it is, is that trusting of that, that following of that guidance, so that I never feel alone, and so that I always feel like, I have something to lean on and to, to, to, like a like almost like a, like a touch point. You know, as I make decisions or, like decide on big things that I want to do or take chances or risks, I feel as though I’m being intentionally guided. So, you know, this past year, I think that, as I’ve shifted really to making these to, to relying and relaxing into this intuition, I’ve shifted a lot of things in my business. And one of those things was intentionally to create a space where I had a lot more energy. And I believe that we get energy by doing the things that we really want to do. So one of the things that I want to just throw out to you is the idea that maybe noticing over the next month, right as we head into 2023, is to start to notice what actually gives you energy. And on the other side of that, what is taking away your energy. Now this can be a difficult to decipher, or hard to find if you’re not used to really paying attention to how you feel. So to kind of back up into that, I would ask you, how do you know when something’s giving you energy? And how do you know when something is depleting you. And when you know that you can start to shift and start to make decisions from a place that’s actually serving you that’s actually giving you energy. And then as you’re doing the things that you need to be doing, it can be actually building you up and making you feel a whole lot better. And when you feel better, I think it’s easier to listen in to those intentions, those, those little whispers that come in and be able to make, like really fun, exciting decisions for yourself. And I’m walking through this whole process this month, inside the collective. I don’t know if you guys know about this, because I didn’t have like a little blurb in the show about this before. But I just launched this this month in November. And it is the collective, it’s weekly dates with your unconscious mind, and access to all of my best courses. So it is a annual membership, where you come in every week, I mostly am live and teaching something moving towards something and then once a quarter we’re having like intensives. So like this month, every single week is going to be part of an intensive, where you could go back and read go through it every year right to be able to create the the experience that you’re really want to have next year. When I think about, like the end of the year. I know so many people on social media post stuff like this was the worst year like can this year be over? I can’t wait for this year to be done. And I feel like this was like my most favorite year. And you know what I’m really confident that actually next year, I’m going to say that to that next year is going to be the best year. You know how people say like, this is my year. This is my year. 2023 is my year, but 2022. That was my year too. It doesn’t mean bad things didn’t happen. I mean, I just told you a story about something awful that happened. And it means that we’re creating like intentionally creating. And I think this year over the last 1218 months, I realized more and more how much of a creator I can actually be in designing the life that I want to have. And so I’m going to walk through that components each week in the month of December. So you could join us and walk through that live we’ll do a q&a you get a 15 minute call with me. So join the collective it

is going to be the main way to work with me in 2023. And anything else that I do will be funneled through the people in the collective first and then out to everybody else. Okay, I have one more thing to tell you. One more thing, and this one is kind of timely. So if you’re if you’re listening like me months from now, still check in because you never know what’s going on. But I went out, I was on the airplane on my way to, on my way to Sedona I got this whole download, I’m gonna call it a really, really great idea that felt so good that I decided we were going to shift a huge part of the program inside the alchemy Institute to accommodate this. So bear with me, because this is a little bit of a commercial, but it is timely, because you could get in on a beta version of what we’re doing. So I want to test it out, I’m only going to let 12 people in. So we’re only doing a dozen people. And there’s already a couple people that took the spots. But here’s what it is, inside the alchemy Institute, that is my training program where I train you to be a life coach, if you’re not a life coach, you could learn everything you’d need to know. And if you are, or you are a therapist, you could get new skills so that you don’t have to use the insurance system that you could actually learn the skills to be to additional skills to help your coaching business. Okay. So here’s what I see happen all the time, is that people complete a coaching program. And then they really struggle, right. They’re trying to build their coaching practice, but they’re not having a lot of luck. And a lot of coaching programs work to solve this by giving people all this marketing support. I think this is a huge flaw in the system. Because the wet the times over the last decade that I’ve been a coach that I have up leveled or made more money or built my business or felt really good about my business, were the times where I had done, where I had had a mindset shift. It wasn’t because I got some new marketing idea. Because even the best marketing ideas in the planet won’t work. If your heads not right about what you’re doing. And I’m telling you, especially if you’ve never been an entrepreneur, there’s a lot that can happen to make you go sideways. So inside the Institute for this beta version, we’re actually partnering you with a coach a one on one coach. So you get one on one coaching throughout the six months that you’re gonna move through the program. So you’re gonna move through the program, you’re gonna get one on one coaching, they will help you with all the blocks, the things that are holding you back. And there’ll be monthly hypnosis and groups and really cool stuff. The cool part is that the coaches that I’m using are the coaches that I’ve trained, the people that have gone through my Master Practitioner program. And so this is like, just like the perfect combination of them using their skills. And the institute people not only clearing blocks that are holding them back, but also getting to experience the NLP processes that they are learning. And it it, it’s so mind blowing to me that there’s no other program out there that does this. And so we’re going to do it. So I’ve got 12 spots. So this would be awesome for you, if you are a therapist, and you want to get coaching skills, if you are a coach already, and you want to expand your skills, or if you want to be a coach, here’s the other thing it’s great for is personal development, if you decide like I want to go through this, and I want to learn all this, so I can do it to myself. And then you also have thought about having a coach, you could get both at an insane, amazing deal, because it is this beta process. So if you’re interested in this, you know, find me on social media, DM me, send me an email at at support at Betsy pake.com. Just go to the institute page, you can go to my website up at the very top in the menu. If you go to Betsy pake.com There will be a little drop down it’ll say learn NLP at the top. And it’ll bring you to the alchemy Institute dot C O, which is the website for the institute. So let me know if you have questions. If you message me, I have a special deal for you. So message me to get the special coupon code and join me for the beta. All right, I’m really excited. I’m really excited. Okay, so here’s what you got to know moving forward for this month. My thoughts before we hit 2023. As you take a look at this year, I want you to ask yourself, what gives me the most energy and what takes my energy away and see if you can start to use that to consciously create what you want to create in 2023. This has been an amazing year, and I can’t wait to see what 2023 brings and I would love to have you closer to me while we do that. All right. I will see you next week. I love you so much. I hope you have an amazing week and I will talk to you soon. Bye. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that, I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.