The Aware Parenting Podcast

I'd love to emphasise again that this is NOT Aware Parenting. This reparenting series is based on The Marion Method.

I came up with the concept and practice of the three types of feelings by integrating two philosophies:

Aware Parenting, which includes what I call needs-feelings and healing-feelings.

Nonviolent Communication, which includes what I call needs-feelings and thoughts-feelings.

I'll explain more about this!

But first, why is this important?

Well, if we think that there is only one type of feeling, and the most apt response is the same to any feeling, we may miss the most apt response.

In the episode, explain the three types of feelings in more detail, what they are caused by, and how to most aptly respond in the reparenting process.

You can find my Inner Loving Presence Process Course here: https://innerlovingpresenceprocess.com/

You can find my Wonder of Willingness Course here: https://www.thewonderofwillingness.com/

You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/

You can also find me here:

https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/

https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/

https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/

www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

It really is possible to get free from guilt!

I'd love to emphasise again that this is NOT Aware Parenting. This reparenting series is based on The Marion Method.

I'm so grateful to Marshall Rosenberg, who created Nonviolent Communication.

It was from him, back in 2002, when my daughter was 9 months old, that I learnt about the true origin of guilt, and how it is simply a form of cultural conditioning. It's not an innate feeling.

I also borrowed the term 'Domination Culture' from him. He in turn borrowed it from Walter Wink.

I added 'Disconnected' to it, i.e. 'Disconnected Domination Culture', to emphasise that disconnection needs to happen in order for domination to happen.

In contrast, in The Marion Method, I see our true nature as Love and Will - in other words, we are LOVE: deeply interconnected with all that is, and WILL: deeply powerful and connected with the power of Life, particularly through our yeses and noes.

So, back to guilt!

In this episode, I talk about how guilt is related to both Love--Hurts and Will-Hurts.

Guilt has two functions: to coerce us into doing things, and to lead to uncomfortable feelings if we don't act as we think we 'should'.

The first is related to will. The second to love.

In comparison, with The Marion Method, we can transform self-coercion into acting from willingness, or being unwilling to do something.

And we can transform the pain of self-judgment to deep self-compassion.

Getting free from guilt is so life-changing, in ways that I explain in more depth.

You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/

The Get Free From Guilt Course is in a Facebook group and is here: https://marionrose.samcart.com/products/get-free-from-guilt-for-good/

You can also find me here:

https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/

https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/

https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/

www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'm so delighted to be starting the reparenting series.

I'd love to make it very clear that this is NOT Aware Parenting. It's The Marion Method.

However, it was profoundly influenced by Aware Parenting, and in some ways is like practicing Aware Parenting with ourselves.

Aware Parenting of course includes the importance of honouring our own needs, having community, and listening to our own feelings, but does not include any particular processes – beyond prompts for inner reflection about our childhood and the importance of meeting our needs and expressing our feelings – about of how to do that.

Just as the sleep series went alongside me editing my 'Sound Sleep and Secure Attachment with Aware Parenting' book, this series goes with my next book, 'All of Your Feelings are Welcome', which is a combination of The Marion Method and Aware Parenting, and is designed to support reparenting so that we can more easily practice Aware Parenting.

This reparenting series also goes alongside the publishing of my oracle cards, which also include inner loving phrases, and a live round of my Inner Loving Presence Process Course, which is a part of The Marion Method.

In this episode, I share about my journey as a researcher in infant development, and psychotherapist, and how I saw that practicing Aware Parenting was far more effective than waiting until adulthood and having therapy.

However, in my own journey of mothering, and which I saw replicated when I became an Aware Parenting instructor nearly twenty years ago, I was seeing all the ways in which mothers were tending to their children in terms of the three aspects of Aware Parenting, but ignoring their own needs, judging themselves and their parenting, and being harsh with themselves when their own feelings from the past came up to be healed.

So I developed the Inner Loving Presences and Inner Loving Presence Process work, which is the Love part of The Marion Method.

There is also Will work and Conversations with Life in The Marion Method too.

This work was not only Inspired by Aware Parenting. It was also influenced by Nonviolent Communication, by Marshall Rosenberg, Psychosynthesis by Roberto Assagioli (including the sub-personalities work) and The Field Project by Philip Golabuk.

In the episode, I share about how the Inner Loving Presences and Inner Loving Presence Process work and the Will and Willingness work work with reparenting.

You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/

You can also find me here:

https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/

https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/

https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/

www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'm so delighted to have Michael Rose, the father of our children, back on the podcast. He was a guest on episode 49. Michael is an Aware Parenting instructor, Tai Chi teacher, and RiverKeeper.

In this episode, we share about Aware Parenting, and also about The Marion Method for reparenting. Michael includes perspectives from Tai Chi and from counselling adults.

Also in this episode, there is more than the usual background noise of birds singing and dogs snoring. I'm sending love to any feelings that you might feel when you hear those noises. (When I experimented with taking those sounds out, all the life energy in our voices also went, so I left them in!) I invite you to experiment with being present with the sounds while you listen to our voices.

Michael shares about his experience of being a part of the Mythopoetic Mens Movement in London in the 90s, and how it helped him practice Aware Parenting.

We talk about how grief, crying, and love are interconnected, and how our capacity to cry and to grieve deeply affect our capacity to feel and offer love.

I share about The Marion Method perspective of the three types of feelings, and why this is particularly important for adults, and how crying as a result of ongoing harsh thoughts-feelings is not actually healing.

We talk about the research process of Aware Parenting, and listening to, and trusting, ourselves as well as our babies or children.

Michael shares about his most recent experience doing more counselling training, and how that deepened his understanding of presence, and what presence people need from others in order to experience being safe to feel and express their feelings.

Michael talks about the experience of how some dads can believe that being with children is tedious and boring, and how those thoughts and experiences can be transformed.

We discuss the shift that can happen from listening to our baby or child's feelings being exhausting, to the experience of us increasingly being able to be present, and the experience being fulfilling and energising.

We talk about how Aware Parenting helps our children be more present than us, but also how the reparenting journey helps us become more present.

Please note, as a content warning, that Michael shares about an experience of a dangerous experience he had with other men, starting at 1 minute and 8 seconds.

Michael finishes the episode sharing about his dream and vision for fathers.

You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/

You can also find me here:

https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/

https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/

https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/

www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'm so grateful to have my dear friend and Level 2 Aware Parenting instructor colleague, Joss Goulden, for this final episode in the second sleep series.

Joss shares in detail about the neurobiology of stress and trauma, and how that relates to sleep.

We talk a lot about why it's so essential to be doing our own inner work and getting lots of support, so we can understand this information and yet be deeply compassionate with ourselves when we see our child dissociate before going to sleep, for example.

Joss shares about how important it is as a parent to keep coming back to the principles of connection, warmth, and safety.

We offer suggestions for how to feel more present and connected with our lovelies before sleep, including ways to tap into a sense of community, even if we're parenting on our own.

Joss talks about why offering empathy makes a huge difference to our children, even if we're not able to offer attachment play or listen to their tears.

We have a shared podcast, The Aware Parenting and Natural Learning Podcast, and Joss has her own podcast, The Aware Parenting Stories Podcast.

She has a sale on her Aware Parenting Course for partners at the moment.

She also offers 1:1 sessions, circles, and workshops, as well as other courses.

You can find her at www.awareparenting.com.au

You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/

You can also find me here:

https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/

https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/

https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/

www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'm so delighted that Carly Facius has returned to the podcast for the 4th time. She was also on episodes 149, 154, 159, and 199.

Carly is a mother of three, Registered Midwife, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, holds a Master of Primary Maternity Care, and is an Aware Parenting instructor.

Carly shares about her journey of stopping breastfeeding at night with her first and second child, and what she will do differently with her third child.

We talked a lot about the importance of honouring both a child's needs and a mother's needs, and the relationship between the two, and the uniqueness of each journey.

You can find out about Carly's 1:1 work, her circles, and other offerings, at: https://www.instagram.com/seed_pod_/ and https://www.seedpodfamilies.com/

You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net and my books at: https://marionrose.net/books/

You can also find me here:

https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/

https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/

https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/

www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

As this very long sleep series draws to a close, in this episode, I share some quick sleep suggestions for parents of a baby, toddler, child, or teen.

Babies, children, and teens need to be both tired and relaxed to sleep restfully.

Relaxation is created in two ways:

~ through a sense of safety (which is met by having closeness, especially in the early years),

~ and by releasing any pent-up painful feelings that naturally bubble to the surface to be expressed when they are tired.

If children don't feel safe, they won't feel relaxed, and will need to dissociate to go to sleep.

If children have accumulated painful feelings bubbling to the surface that aren't released, they won't feel relaxed, and will need to dissociate to go to sleep.

If they dissociate to fall asleep, the sleep is not likely to be restful.

I'm so excited to tell you that the third book in my trilogy of Aware Parenting books – Sound Sleep and Secure Attachment with Aware Parenting – is out, and it's already a bestseller in both paperback and Kindle editions! The audiobook will be coming out next year!

Here are the links:

AU: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/0645998583

US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645998583

UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0645998583

DE: https://www.amazon.de/dp/0645998583

FR: https://www.amazon.fr/dp/0645998583

ES: https://www.amazon.es/dp/0645998583

IT: https://www.amazon.it/dp/0645998583

NL: https://www.amazon.nl/dp/0645998583

PL: https://www.amazon.pl/dp/0645998583

SE: https://www.amazon.se/dp/0645998583

JP: https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/0645998583

CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0645998583

You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net

You can also find me here:

https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/

https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/

https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/

www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

Woohooo! It's the 200th episode!

Thank you to everyone who has listened to this podcast, whether this is the first time you've listened, or the 200th!

I'm celebrating with Belynda Smith, who is not only the Editor of my trilogy of books, but also an Aware Parenting instructor and Hand in Hand Instructor.

We chat together about all different aspects of the book.

I loved this conversation so much!

The book will be coming out this month, and more news about it will be coming soon!

You can find out about Belynda's work, including her monthly online listening circle and 1:1 Aware Parenting support at https://belyndasmith.com.au/ and you can email her at: [email protected]

You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net

You can also find me here:

https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/

https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/

https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/

www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'm so delighted that Carly Facius has returned to the podcast for the 4th time. She was also on episodes 149, 154, and 159.

Carly is a mother of three, Registered Midwife, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, holds a Master of Primary Maternity Care, and is an Aware Parenting instructor.

Carly starts off by sharing her own journey with sleep with her first baby, and how surprised she was that after being so connected with her intuition and trusting her body and baby for the pregnancy and birth and for the first four months, that for a week, she started following the concept of sleep windows.

Living in Indonesia, with an Indonesian husband, all around her she saw something very different to the practices she'd read about online of helping babies sleep according to the clock.

She really didn't enjoy that week. The intensity of the focus on sleep took her away from being present with her baby, and led her to think that there was something wrong with what she was doing, and that there was something wrong with her baby.

After that week, she shifted her practice entirely, and felt so much more relaxed. She saw babies and children sleeping everywhere and anywhere in Indonesia and it made so much sense that the routine she'd created in that week wasn't helpful at all.

We talk about co-sleeping, and 'bedtimes', and how common it is in a very high percentage of the world's population for babies and children to co-sleep and for there not to be early bedtimes.

We also talk about how Aware Parenting makes it possible for everyone in the family to share a bed together, and to all sleep restfully, without the baby or child moving around restlessly, or needing to be in a particular position, eg. under a parent's arm or on top of the parent.

She talks about what a difference it made for her when she shifted from Classical Attachment Parenting to Aware Parenting when her son was 18 months old, including her partner being able to support their son to go to sleep.

Carly shares about her experience of listening to her third child's feelings since birth has made, especially on his sleep, including while consistently travelling. He slept peacefully, even with noise around, which was very different to tiptoeing away when her first baby was sleeping. She also enjoyed the freedom of her partner being able to support their baby to go to sleep right from early on.

Carly also talks about her own experience of working with parents from all around the world and from a wide variety of parenting beliefs and practices, including from families who had been to sleep consultants prior, and how she supported to find ways that resonated with them in relation to sleep.

We talk about the importance of parents listening in to their own yeses and noes in terms of what resonates with them about sleep theories and practices.

Carly shares about the loveliness of knowing that with Aware Parenting, whatever we've done in the past, we can help our babies heal, and we can also heal from past experiences.

She shares how her perspective on bedtimes has completely changed, and how she invites parents to focus on their own sleep.

She says, "everyone's rested in my family."

You can find out about Carly's 1:1 work, her circles, and other offerings, at: https://www.instagram.com/seed_pod_/

~~~

You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net

You can also find me here:

https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/

https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/

https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/

www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

Episode 198: The power of play before sleep with Vivian Viester by Marion Rose, PhD.