Brain-based parenting with connection and coregulation doesn’t mean boundary-less parenting. In fact, if you are parenting a child who is a little delayed with regard to developing self-regulation, this type of parenting actually means MORE boundaries.
But boundaries aren’t consequences or punishments.
Boundaries are the supports your child needs to be successful.
It’s a little like toddler proofing. Toddlers aren’t untrustworthy, misbehaving, or sneaky because they explored the stairs and then fell down. Toddlers are just doing their toddler thing with their toddler brain. It’s our job as the adults to provide the boundaries and co-regulation they need to support their developmental task (exploration) without getting hurt!
So we provide lots of supervision and baby-gates. And we support their safe exploration of the stairs- holding their hands as they go up and down, or sitting one step below them while they play.
If we remember a few important tenets of brain-based parenting:
- Connection is a biological imperative
- Behavior is an externalization of inner experience
- Regulated, Connected, Kids who Feel Safe Behave Well
Then we can feel confident that when our kids are struggling (lying, stealing, manipulation, opposition, etc.) that they need more support.
Read my blog article about Boundaries with Connection here: Boundaries with Connection
Watch the original Facebook Live video on Boundaries with Connection: Facebook LIVES
I would love to have you join me this March in Durango, CO for a 3-day, retreat style workshop: Presence in Practice: An experiential workshop into the neurobiology of how change happens.
All details and registration ------> https://RobynGobbel.com/Durango
Register by December 19 for $75 off!
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