The Divorce Course Podcast

🎧 Listen to This Episode If You…

💔 You're worried your ex is badmouthing you during divorce

⚖️ Want to know how false allegations and smear campaigns affect family court

🧠 Need strategies to protect your mental health from the gossip

📚 Want practical legal and emotional steps to respond to defamation

😢 Feel isolated because family and friends are believing lies

💬 Need to know how to gather evidence if your ex spreads false stories at work, school, or online

Episode Summary: Are you worried your ex is trying to destroy your reputation during your divorce? You're not alone. In this episode, we unpack how smear campaigns and defamation show up in family law – from gossiping with family and friends to spreading lies at school, work, or even on social media.

Laura and her mum Lynne (a seasoned family lawyer) share why some exes resort to these tactics, how it can impact custody and property settlements, and what you can do emotionally and legally to protect yourself.

This episode is your roadmap to staying calm, gathering evidence, and keeping your credibility intact when you feel like your name is being dragged through the mud.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence, false allegations, and reputational attacks. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is general discussion only and not legal advice. Always seek advice from a lawyer for your situation.

00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warning

01:35 Understanding Smear Campaigns in Divorce

03:57 Defamation vs. Venting: Key Differences

04:45 Motivations Behind Smear Campaigns in Divorce

07:32 Family and Friends: Navigating Smear Campaigns in Divorce

14:04 School and Community: Protecting Your Reputation during divorce

19:54 Dealing with Professionals and Legal Implications during divorce

22:54 Workplace Challenges and Solutions during Divorce

25:48 Navigating Workplace and Family Law

27:02 Social Media Smear Campaigns during Divorce

31:07 Handling False Accusations in Family Court

36:37 Practical Steps for Self-Protection during Divorce

39:48 Defamation and Divorce

43:58 Maintaining Dignity and Focus During Divorce

Resources

Episodes Mentioned in this Podcast Episode

Narcisisst Playbook in Divorce

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0r7udkSJm30looYILBiNIL?si=_wp6ONRhRHGlwH9gKJvuMQ

Is it family violence

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5cflNozwnWTSfqAQTjMspg?si=2Xe3F0KXTzeETCQhZ74wIw

Your child's school and divorce

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4u5SkU2R2DY0U1uyQfi7Cs?si=a5q_r3tgRs2I00S48OZXtA

Narcissistic Ex tells lies in Court, Mediation etc Seven Tips

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SdkXhj3vC2tfO3gDdkM6y?si=SYFT9JQ-Qziug0agbertog

Is your ex telling lies in the Family Court

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2OpAGxXfx78iAO81TMPPxJ?si=_GAl64-WQtiks2pb6Tlh8g

DARVO: 8 ways to protect yourself in court

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0JyfH5fCoqrUoxeDj6jCtu?si=a45z9W2WRe-yRCAy10bIRw

10 essential boundaries for a healthier divorce

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=7uT3sL5EQySxdUttlMk0Kg

Navigating Parental Trash Talking

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7bxqn5I6B1HCzO9r0zKnxY?si=qjg7VTrDQw-FBu0IJOJUcQ

🆘 Emergency & Support Contacts: 💜 Women's Shelter: 1800 811 811 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis): 13 11 14 👨‍👧 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)

Divorce and Defamation:What to Do When Your Ex Tries to Destroy Your Reputation

Listen to This Episode If You:

✉️ You're self-represented in your family law matter

🤯 You're feeling overwhelmed trying to respond to legal letters

⚖️ You're unsure of your rights when communicating without a lawyer

📬 You need tips for writing clear, respectful, and protective responses

🚨 You've been told you must respond but don't know where to start

🧾 You want to avoid common traps and stay legally safe

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is a general discussion and not legal advice. Please see a qualified lawyer for advice specific to your situation.

Episode Summary: Can you write to your ex's lawyer if you don't have one yourself? What are the legal and strategic risks—and how can you protect yourself?

In this essential episode, we break down how to navigate communication in your family law matter when you're self-represented. From tone and structure to legal obligations and emotional traps, we cover everything you need to know to respond with confidence and protect your position.

We also talk about when not to respond, what the Family Law Rules say about unrepresented parties, and what to do if the other side's lawyer refuses to deal with you directly. If you're facing legal letters, emotional pressure, or confusion about your next step—this episode is your guide.

⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss:

00:00 Introduction: Responding to Your Ex's Lawyer

01:45 Understanding the Stress of Legal Letters

04:13 What are the Rules for Communicating with Your Ex's Lawyer

06:31 Best Practices for Writing Legal Letters

15:43 Common Tactics in Family Lawyer Letters and How to Handle Them

19:42 Guidelines for Self-Represented Individuals in Family Law and Divorce

24:54 Handling Lawyer-Guided Mediation

25:16 When to Seek Legal Advice

25:43 Responding to Offers and Legal Letters in your Divorce

27:44 Managing Emotional Reactions in your Divorce

29:27 Timing and Professionalism in Legal Responses

31:44 Disagreeing Professionally in a letter to a family lawyer

36:26 Avoidant Personality Tips in Divorce Communication

38:02 High Conflict Personality Tips in Divorce Communication

39:36 Manipulative and Controlling Personality Tips in Divorce Communication

41:34 Amicable Personality Tips in Divorce Communication

45:17 Final Tips for Self-Represented Litigants

Resources

Case N Johnson (Appellant/Husband) and M L Johnson (Cross-Appellant/Wife) [1997] FamCA 32 (7 July 1997)

https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FamCA/1997/32.html?query=

RE: F Litigants in Person Guidelines [2001] FamCA 348 (4 June 2001)

http://www6.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FamCA/2001/348.html?query=

102na Information https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pubs/fv-info-sheet

Related Episodes

Read a letter like a lawyer Decoding Divorce Word Salad Letters: Seven steps

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4qiOSiGK9yOrt0lEdqCudQ?si=l_8Iu5hoSZmxw2mvkajU_A

Costs & Calderbank Offers https://open.spotify.com/episode/2B2Se7hTIBAOg5f5YJ5wqE?si=7xSMeQdYQRePtZ6kHWbnfw

Divorce Deals 101 https://open.spotify.com/episode/0cjgFLg0SGCOx98WkyTnXg?si=-lt0fSQcR9qvs01P5j0_WA

Ten Essential Boundaries for Divorce

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=PCrZb2qiRW617tOB4iJ--A

Community Legal Services and Legal Aid Episode

https://open.spotify.com/episode/24RyAciJ6LAqMZpjUWXoJT?si=opezHO29QniWfu5lMUwowg

🆘 Emergency & Support Contacts: 💜 Women's Shelter: 1800 811 811 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis): 13 11 14 👨‍👧 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)

🎧 Listen to This Episode If You…

🧾 Are trying to prove family violence in family court or to your lawyer

💔 Have experienced abuse and need to understand what counts under the law

⚖️ Want to know what evidence is helpful in a family law case

🕵️‍♀️ Are navigating post-separation abuse or coercive control

👨‍👩‍👧 Are worried about your children being exposed to family violence

📚 Want clarity on Australia's legal definition of family violence

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is a general discussion and not legal advice. Please see a qualified lawyer for advice specific to your situation.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses domestic and family violence.

Episode Summary:

What counts as family violence in Australia? And more importantly—how do you prove it in court or explain it to your lawyer? In this vital episode, we unpack the newer and expanded definition of family violence under the Family Law Act, section 4AB, and explain how each part can show up in real life—and in legal documents.

From stalking, coercive control and financial abuse, to how children are affected—we cover each part of the legal definition and give guidance on how to identify, name, and prepare evidence for your case. Whether you're writing an affidavit, preparing for mediation, or just trying to make sense of what's happened to you, this episode is here to help you take the next step.

⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss: 00:00 – What is this episode about and why does it matter? 00:40 – What trigger warnings and legal disclaimers should you know before listening? 02:09 – What recent changes have been made to the Family Law Act regarding family violence? 03:50 – What exactly is included in the new definition of family violence? 04:54 – How can you start gathering evidence of family violence? 11:46 – How do you prove emotional and psychological abuse in court? 17:16 – What counts as financial or economic abuse—and how can you show it? 27:58 – How does isolation and social control factor into family violence? 32:05 – Can friends or support people help provide evidence of abuse? 32:41 – What is the legal impact of family violence on children? 34:23 – How should you document incidents of family violence? 35:58 – Why are detailed affidavits so important in family court? 37:12 – When should you seek legal advice or a lawyer's help? 46:47 – What challenges might arise in mediation or court when trying to prove abuse? 57:17 – What are the key takeaways and support resources mentioned?

📌 Key Takeaways:

• The legal definition of family violence under Section 4AB

• Real-life examples of what courts consider family violence

• Emotional, economic, and psychological abuse explained

• How to describe incidents in affidavits or when reporting to professionals

• Children's exposure to family violence and its legal weight

• Practical ways to document your experience for court

Resources

Family Law Act Section 4AB Definition of Family Violence https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4ab.html#:~:text=1975%20%2D%20SECT%204AB-,Definition%20of%20family%20violence%20etc.,family%20member%20to%20be%20fearful.

Affidavit DIY Kit: https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/pubs/preparing-affidavit

Related Episodes Four things you might not realise are coercive control https://open.spotify.com/episode/37TbRPx2QlIf6IhTjIu21t?si=14F0S44DTV-auLxa1JZ7fQ

Is it emotional abuse?

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bSCQ3JdcU4xxW7D4LJUxG?si=xN-N_3QpSZ6bVoiPjmvnag

Is it financial abuse?

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4wxVtk6TOSCgqCJikfk6LD?si=fg9uTg5IR3iS9TqmMZejYg

Divorcing your abuser

https://open.spotify.com/episode/21TpYbC15VJt9lnb82Ub13?si=qai60uWwRg-kbkQ5nRYvdQ

Telling your story: putting coercive control into writing

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Ci0M4DqznBf1L1kcZM3vY?si=6nY8QhxvSCuy92hPpLbfXg

Affidavits

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6aGOz28irKroZfpYwlovyo?si=D_bm7-ftRjW6rozzjMbUbw

🆘 Emergency & Support Contacts: 💜 Women's Shelter: 1800 811 811 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis): 13 11 14 👨‍👧 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)

🎧 Listen to This Episode If You: 💸 Are weighing the pros and cons of buying, selling or renting post-divorce

⚖️ Need to understand how your living decisions affect property settlement under family law

👨‍👧 Are parenting and want to make housing choices that work for your kids

🏡 Just separated and unsure about where to live

📉 Are worried about financial risk and long-term planning

Episode Summary: Where will you live after your separation or divorce? It's one of the most important—and emotionally loaded—questions you'll face. In this episode, I'm joined by Pedro Marin, Financial Planner from Marin Wealth, and my mum Lyn, an experienced family lawyer, to explore the options: keeping the house, selling, buying again, renting, or trying rentvesting.

We look at the emotional, financial, and legal implications of each choice—and how they interact with the Family Law Act, especially Section 79(2) and 79(5), which focus on the needs of the children and future financial considerations. If you're unsure what to do next or feel stuck between financial reality and emotional decisions, this conversation will help you start to look over the situation.

Disclaimer: This is not legal or financial advice and you MUST see a lawyer or financial advisor before making any decision. We are not liable for the outcome of your case and by listening to this podcast you agree to this.

⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss:

00:00 – What's this episode about and why is it crucial for separated couples?

00:15 – Who are Pedro Marin Ramirez and Lynette Galvin, and how can they help?

00:36 – What property decisions do you need to consider during divorce?

01:42 – Why do you need both financial planning and legal advice after separation?

03:05 – Should you keep the family home after divorce? What to consider

09:42 – Is now the right time to sell your house? Key market insights for separating couples

12:49 – What should you do with lump sum payments after selling the house?

20:47 – What is rent-vesting and how can it work after divorce?

23:21 – What are the risks of renting or investing in property post-divorce?

24:34 – How does the Family Court consider children's housing needs in property settlement?

25:11 – Why is "just renting" sometimes not enough post-separation?

26:15 – Why do you need an emergency fund and solid financial planning after divorce?

28:50 – What does The Barefoot Investor say about post-separation money management?

29:31 – What are the pathways to home ownership after a divorce?

34:43 – What are the risks of property surgery after separation?

36:01 – How do you navigate home loans and bank requirements after divorce?

40:01 – What are the final takeaways and key resources for post-separation housing?

Resources

Marin Wealth Free Calculators

https://marinwealth.com.au/calculators/

Family Law Act 79(5)

https://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html

🎙️ Related Episodes:

• I really want to keep the house https://open.spotify.com/episode/6TzW9skKgvO8fjm0gcFPRg?si=vUHKQ7vUS0egoexZ5QQ7Zw

• Out of the box ideas to keep the house https://open.spotify.com/episode/5RgIsTMGh7EBqqbAgIVQ5Y?si=Zct17ZGEQxaWg8xX4wEF0A Understanding Property Settlement Options in Divorce

• Future Financial Needs in Family Law: Explained

• Weapons of Tax Destruction in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/1Bvc2JFmgcLMpIZLIXEwVR?si=5zrzU_AHR_KSnJ9IovdUnA

• Taking Control of your Finances in Divorce - Financial Abuse Red Flags

• https://open.spotify.com/episode/0RzZTAL7xwRo1dvGoR8Ywr?si=iNX3fN1LQJijcucOnfKvOQ

🆘 Emergency & Support Contacts: 💜 Women's Shelter: 1800 811 811 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis): 13 11 14 👨‍👧 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800 🚨 DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)

📌 Key Takeaways:

• You have more options than you think—but each comes with trade-offs

• Emotional attachment to a home can cloud financial judgment

• Rentvesting can work, but it's not a silver bullet

• Selling might feel like a loss but can also give you financial breathing space

• Legal and financial decisions are intertwined, especially with children involved

• The court considers both your current and future needs under family law

🎧 Listen to This Episode If You… 😢 Feel like your ex is still trying to control you, even after the breakup 🧠 Want to understand how emotional abuse can continue post-separation 🛡️ Need strategies to protect your mental health during negotiations ⚖️ Are co-parenting with someone who is manipulative or abusive 👂 Want to learn what psychologists say about responding calmly and firmly 💔 Are feeling exhausted, anxious, or stuck in the dynamic even though it's over 📚 Need real guidance from someone who understands trauma and divorce

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions about abuse. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for general information only and is not legal advice. Always speak to your own psychologist or lawyer about your specific situation.

Divorce should bring closure, but for many, the abuse doesn't end when the relationship does. In this powerful episode, we're joined by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova, who specialises in complex trauma, emotional and psychological abuse, and family violence.

Together, we unpack post-separation abuse—what it looks like, why it's so common, and how to recognise the subtle and not-so-subtle ways a controlling ex might continue to manipulate and harass you during legal negotiations and co-parenting.

Krasi shares practical tools for setting boundaries, managing emotional triggers, and protecting yourself mentally and emotionally as you navigate separation and the legal divorce process. If you're in the thick of divorce with an abusive or high-conflict ex, this episode is your lifeline.

🔑 Key Topics Discussed in This Episode:

00:00 – What is emotional abuse in the context of divorce?

00:15 – Who is Krasi Kirova and why is she an expert in emotional and psychological abuse?

00:54 – How can you set boundaries and protect your emotional health during and after divorce?

01:08 – What legal and psychological disclaimers should listeners be aware of?

01:42 – What did listeners say about our previous episode on emotional abuse?

03:13 – What challenges do survivors face after leaving an abusive relationship?

07:34 – How do you co-parent with an abusive ex-partner?

10:41 – How can you manage anxiety when dealing with legal communications from your ex?

12:34 – Why are support systems and legal preparation so important in these cases?

18:21 – How can you manage trauma and stress in family law settings?

21:01 – What should you understand about trauma reactions during supervised visits?

22:16 – What regulations and training exist for contact centers?

22:34 – Why are victims sometimes misidentified as perpetrators in court?

23:27 – What strategies do abusers use to sabotage mothers post-separation?

24:21 – What is the DIY Divorce Blueprint and how can it help you?

25:04 – How can you handle manipulative communication from your ex?

29:04 – How do you rebuild confidence after surviving coercive control?

31:45 – What are the common self-gaslighting patterns in legal processes?

37:00 – How do you create a supportive community during and after separation?

40:14 – What are the key takeaways and resources shared in this episode?

📌 Links & Resources Mentioned: 🔗 1800 RESPECT – National Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service 🔗 Lifeline – 13 11 14 – 24/7 Crisis Support 🔗 Legal Aid – Access to legal help for those in need 🔗 Kids Helpline – 1800 55 1800 – Support for young people

Dr Emma Katz - https://dremmakatz.substack.com/p/how-domestically-abusive-men-continue

🔗 [Krasi Kirova's workshop – Understanding Emotional Abuse in Relationships] https://kirovapsychology.com.au/workshop/

🎙️ Related Episodes:

• Do I really need to respond to that? https://open.spotify.com/episode/30yut1I0YFLaAAMSKsRoxe?si=WdkeKNSyTuaFVmoxDM3wUA

• Is that Emotional Abuse? https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bSCQ3JdcU4xxW7D4LJUxG?si=1ryvYQmYTOm56lzuYCHiUQ

🧠 Let's keep the conversation going If this episode resonated, please share it with a friend or leave us a review. Your support helps more people find the show and feel empowered in their own journey.

ENROL NOW www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol

💜 Women's Shelter Service: 1800 811 811 ⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit your state's Legal Aid website 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis Support): 13 11 14 👨‍👦 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800 🚨 National DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) 🖤 Aboriginal Family DV Hotline: 1800 019 123

🔁 Feel stuck or overwhelmed since separating 📅 Keep delaying property or parenting decisions 💔 Are hoping things might just "work out" without action 💸 Worry about legal costs or can't afford a lawyer yet 🛑 Feel like taking action will start a fight 🚧 Want a plan but don't know where to begin 🧭 Need clarity to move forward without fear

⚠️ Trigger Warning: Discussions include separation, family court, and financial and emotional abuse. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: General info only. Please get specific legal advice for your situation.

Separation is overwhelming—there's grief, uncertainty, and a mountain of legal stuff no one feels ready for. But what happens when you do nothing? In this episode, I sit down with my mum Lyn (a family lawyer) to talk about the risks of delaying action after separation or divorce.

From financial pitfalls to missed opportunities and emotional burnout, we explore what it really costs to stay stuck in limbo. You'll learn if waiting "until things settle down" can actually work against you—and how small steps today can protect your future.

If you've been unsure about where to start, afraid to rock the boat, or feeling too exhausted to make decisions, this episode is here to give you the clarity and confidence to take your first step.

0:00 – Trigger warning, legal disclaimer & welcome

1:30 – Why so many people stay stuck after separation

3:00 – What it feels like to be in post-separation "limbo"

4:45 – Common fears: lawyers, conflict, making the wrong move

6:10 – Emotional costs of doing nothing: guilt, stress, burnout

9:00 – Financial costs: how waiting can shrink your property pool

10:30 – Parenting: when not taking action can hurt your child's stability

13:00 – False hope: thinking your ex will change or agree later

15:00 – How court views delays—and why judges may not be sympathetic

17:00 – Misconceptions that delay people from acting

20:00 – What to do if you're scared of your ex's reaction

22:30 – First steps you can take—without lawyers or court

25:00 – Why the DIY Divorce Blueprint was created for people in limbo

27:00 – Reassurance: you don't have to figure it all out right now

28:30 – Final thoughts: permission to take action at your own pace

• Four things you might not realise are coercive control https://open.spotify.com/episode/37TbRPx2QlIf6IhTjIu21t?si=Adxp2mmVSR62CXVWCJ8d2A

ENROL NOW www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol

💜 Women's Shelter Service: 1800 811 811 ⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit your state's Legal Aid website 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis Support): 13 11 14 👨‍👦 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800 🚨 National DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) 🖤 Aboriginal Family DV Hotline: 1800 019 123

🚪 You're about to go to mediation and don't know what to expect 📝 You want to know what documents and disclosures you actually need 😵‍💫 You're anxious about seeing your ex in the same room 🧠 You want practical tips to mentally and emotionally prepare ⚖️ You want to give yourself the best chance of settling 👀 You're worried your ex is manipulative or controlling 🎯 You want a checklist of exactly what to do before the big day

Mediation can be one of the most powerful tools in your separation or divorce journey — but only if you're properly prepared. In this episode, I sit down with my mum Lyn (a seasoned family lawyer) to reveal the top 5 things mediators wish people knew before walking into mediation.

Whether you're facing property division, parenting negotiations, or dealing with a high-conflict or manipulative ex, we're giving you practical, real-world strategies to set you up for success. From shuttle rooms to knowing your must-haves vs nice-to-haves, this episode is your ultimate mediation prep guide.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of family and domestic violence. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is general information only and not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice for your situation.

00:00 Introduction to Mediation

00:10 Top Five Things Mediators Wish You Knew

01:18 Separate Rooms for Mediation -Do you have to be in the same room with your ex? (Hint: no!)

07:03 Compromise is Key - Why compromise is crucial — and how to prepare for it

11:52 Be Prepared with Documents - Clear goals vs nice-to-haves: how to prep like a pro

17:17 Anticipate Your Ex's Roadblocks

21:53 Navigating Conversations About Your Ex

22:20 Understanding Your Role in Mediation

22:29 Join Our Free Webinar

23:06 The Mediation Experience

24:13 Handling Pressure During Mediation

27:07 Preparing for Mediation -Your must-have mediation prep checklist

29:55 Dealing with Different Divorce Personality Types

34:00 Tips for staying calm and focused with difficult exes

36:26 Managing Manipulative and Controlling Exes

40:26 Where to get free mediation and disclosure checklists

• The 5 things mediators wish you knew

• How to emotionally prepare for mediation

• What to do when you're dealing with coercive control or narcissism

• Practical tips for organising your evidence and disclosures

• The power of clear goals and flexible thinking

• How to keep calm and avoid being derailed

• The truth about compromise — and how to protect yourself while doing it

• Why you're still in control, even if you feel overwhelmed

• Using mediation as a tool — even if your ex is impossible

• The role of support people, tech tips, and being emotionally ready

• 🎙️ Can You Mediate With a Narcissist? https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Vjl0I9xXUQruoAQKLVh11?si=pQpMWvz_RHKapxZ07AgkoA

• 🎙️ Mediation or Manipulation? https://open.spotify.com/episode/4P1DjaMtXTq2sbel4qywew?si=EeVPhl6dTDiphTLXhoeTaA

• 🎙️ What Happens After Mediation https://open.spotify.com/episode/00kTon70LllVE97X8zn9vK?si=YPRmwZVQQ7-sakgcA6J7_g

💜 Women's Shelter Service: 1800 811 811 ⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit your state's Legal Aid website 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis Support): 13 11 14 👨‍👦 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800 🚨 National DV Hotline: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) 🖤 Aboriginal Family DV Hotline: 1800 019 123

💼 You're negotiating your super split after divorce in Australia

🧐 You've been told "let's just equalise super — it's fair"

😵‍💫 You're confused about what super is worth vs. cash

💸 You're worried about being left worse off long-term

🧾 You've made non-financial contributions (like parenting or homemaking)

⚖️ You want to make sure your property settlement is legally fair

👀 You suspect you're being pressured into a bad deal

Are you about to deal with your superannuation in your divorce or separation? Before you sign off on that "equal split," you'll want to hear this.

In today's episode,we sit down to unpack the worrying trend of super equalising — where separating couples are told to simply make their super balances the same and move on. But here's the thing… that's not what the family law of Australia says, and it could seriously disadvantage you, especially if you've been the lower income earner or the stay-at-home parent.

We share case examples, court insights, and some shocking myths that are floating around in legal circles — and we tell you what to do if a lawyer, mediator, or even your ex suggests this path. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is general info only — not legal advice. Please seek independent legal support for your personal situation.

0:00 – Are you about to deal with your super during divorce? Here's why this episode matters

1:00 – What does "equalising super" even mean—and why is it a problem?

2:00 – Why super is just another form of property under Australian law

3:30 – Why some lawyers are pushing for equal splits (and why that's dangerous)

5:30 – The golden rule: Super is subject to all the same rules as other property

7:00 – Are you being pressured to leave super out or just equalise it? Here's what to watch for

9:00 – How parenting and homemaking count as contributions to super

11:00 – Dodgy tactics: Over-contributing to super or hiding income

12:00 – How new 2025 laws include behaviour and abuse in property settlements

13:30 – When equalising might actually be okay—but only if the whole pool is fair

14:30 – Real case: Baxter & Baxter – what happens when the court gets it wrong

17:00 – What you can say to your ex (or lawyer!) if they push for equal super splits

18:30 – What Section 75(2) of the Family Law Act says—and why it matters

21:00 – Your capacity to earn, care for kids, and stay healthy are all future needs

23:00 – Why just "keeping the super" might leave you financially vulnerable

25:00 – The court's 5-step approach—and why percentages come last

27:00 – Why agreeing to percentages too early can backfire

30:00 – What to take to your lawyer to get proper advice on super and property

32:00 – Are SMSFs and defined benefit funds treated differently in divorce?

33:30 – Can you ever access your super early for legal fees?

34:00 – Why 97% of people settle out of court—and what that means for fairness

36:00 – Why consent orders can protect you more than a Binding Financial Agreement (BFA)

• Why superannuation is property and must be assessed like any other asset

• The myth of "equalising super" — and who really benefits from it

• How future needs (Section 75(2)) affect super division When courts don't approve equal splits — even in consent orders

• How coercive control and fear can influence unfair agreements The difference between cash and super — and why it matters to your financial future

• What the law actually says about super splitting

• Case examples: Coghlan & Coghlan (2005) and Baxter & Baxter (2010)

• Why defined benefit and self-managed funds need special attention

• What info to bring to your lawyer when discussing your super and property pool

• Contributions episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/1CRmGojnduHE6JiCqFCCPZ?si=ThmJIlkMQBO5kFQQ-_m_3g

• Future Needs episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5S6GtjDxg9VqY6wcgopzEx?si=ILYJeQiGQYShWYYp_WGRNw

• Property episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7D0Q44RXr6x28XEVOVUYhQ?si=3ywSQ0DLTd2ZGiGYXSvZPw

• Superannuation episode : https://open.spotify.com/episode/0UwyfuRcv4KQ7jMNyaGCoq?si=VsOkiMB5Q2KEyNgyJdywcA

• Spousal Maintenance are you eligible episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/510Dgc3ko913tNN1ggbtwJ?si=CQXG9fo0QPWPzNwPX4z6YQ

• The Pitfalls of Percentages

RESOURCES

SECTION 75 of the family law act https://www5.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s75.html

📧 Email the show: [email protected]

⚠️ Emergency Contacts & Support Services:

💜 Women's Shelter Service: Call 1800 811 811 ⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit Legal Aid Website 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis Support): Call 13 11 14 👨‍👦 Mensline Australia: Call 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Help Line: Call 1800 551 800 🚨 National Domestic Violence Hotline (1800 RESPECT): Call 1800 737 732 🖤 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1800 019 123

☎️ 1800 RESPECT – Family/domestic violence support ☎️ Lifeline: 13 11 14 – For emotional support

One of the most underestimated parts of separation are— settlement offers. Whether you're negotiating parenting arrangements, property division, or both, knowing how and when to make (or respond to) an offer can save you stress, time, and serious money.

We break down how settlement offers work, when to consider using Calderbank letters, how Section 117C of the Family Law Act affects legal costs, and the emotional traps that can trip you up during negotiation. We also talk about avoiding lowball traps, the risks of ignoring offers, and what to do if you're dealing with an avoidant or high-conflict ex.

📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is a general legal discussion only. Always seek independent legal advice before making decisions about your case.

📬 You've just received an offer and don't know what to do 📝 You're drafting an offer and want to avoid costly mistakes 🤯 You're confused about Calderbank offers or "without prejudice" negotiations ⚖️ You want to protect yourself from future legal costs ⏳ You're wondering when the best time is to make an offer 😨 You're worried your ex will use offers to manipulate or delay things 💬 You need tips for negotiating with high-conflict or avoidant exes 💡 You want to feel more confident and strategic about settlement

0:00 – legal disclaimer

1:00 – Why settlement offers are the key to ending court drama and legal stress

2:00 – What's the point of making an offer if your ex is high-conflict or controlling?

3:30 – How making an offer (even if rejected) can help you with legal costs

5:00 – What are "party and party" costs and how much can you actually recover?

6:30 – Why you MUST put all offers in writing — and how to do it right

7:30 – Tips for structuring your offer: how to make it clear and court-friendly

9:00 – What happens when an offer is accepted — and how to turn it into consent orders

10:30 – Do you still have to go to court if you've accepted an offer?

12:30 – When's the best time to make a settlement offer?

14:00 – Why timing matters and how it could impact a cost order

16:30 – Should you lowball or highball your offer like Facebook Marketplace?

18:00 – Mediation vs formal offers — what negotiation tactics are acceptable?

19:30 – What to ask yourself before you make an offer you might regret

21:30 – Mental prep: why understanding "fair" in the legal system is essential

24:00 – How guilt, people-pleasing, or pressure can lead to bad decisions

26:30 – The danger of controlling exes and how your history may influence your judgment

28:00 – What does "without prejudice" mean and why does it matter in negotiations?

30:00 – How to write a strong, effective, and strategic settlement offer

31:30 – What to do if you receive a last-minute or unreasonable offer

33:00 – Can you put time limits on offers? Are they enforceable?

34:30 – How to request more time or more information before accepting

36:00 – What if the offer is close, but not quite right? Counter-offer strategies

37:30 – Should your new partner, family, or friends be involved in decisions?

39:00 – Section 117C of the Family Law Act and how costs get awarded

41:00 – What if you ignore an offer completely?

43:00 – The emotional toll of negotiating and the power of staying objective

45:00 – Final tips for successful settlement negotiations

48:00 – Understanding your worst and best-case court outcomes before accepting

49:00 – A final reminder to always seek legal advice and protect your future

• What makes a good settlement offer — and why timing matters

• How Calderbank offers work and why they can protect you legally

• What Section 117C of the Family Law Act says about court-ordered costs

• The risks of ignoring or rejecting offers (especially in family court)

• When to negotiate and when to stand your ground

• Tips for writing a clear and strategic offer

• What happens if your offer is accepted (and what to do next)

• How to deal with unreasonable or manipulative exes

• Why offers must always be documented in writing

• What to do if you're pressured into accepting an offer you're unsure about

• The emotional reality of negotiation — and why it's okay to take your time

• Who should be involved in helping you assess or make an offer (spoiler: not your new partner!)

• ☎️ 1800 RESPECT – Family/domestic violence support ☎️ Lifeline: 13 11 14 – For emotional support 📧 Email the show: [email protected]

• ⚠️ Emergency Contacts & Support Services:

• 💜 Women's Shelter Service: Call 1800 811 811 ⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit Legal Aid Website 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis Support): Call 13 11 14 👨‍👦 Mensline Australia: Call 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Help Line: Call 1800 551 800 🚨 National Domestic Violence Hotline (1800 RESPECT): Call 1800 737 732 🖤 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1800 019 123

• 🔗 Family Court Info – Section 117C https://www5.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s117.html

• Calderbank Offers https://open.spotify.com/episode/2B2Se7hTIBAOg5f5YJ5wqE?si=tJCQ-bSlSz-6YOl2jRgr4Q

• Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist

📧 Email the show: [email protected]

⚠️ Emergency Contacts & Support Services:

💜 Women's Shelter Service: Call 1800 811 811 ⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit Legal Aid Website 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis Support): Call 13 11 14 👨‍👦 Mensline Australia: Call 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Help Line: Call 1800 551 800 🚨 National Domestic Violence Hotline (1800 RESPECT): Call 1800 737 732 🖤 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1800 019 123

☎️ 1800 RESPECT – Family/domestic violence support ☎️ Lifeline: 13 11 14 – For emotional support

#DivorceSupport #FamilyLawAustralia #SettlementOffers #SeparationHelp #CalderbankOffer #DivorceNegotiation #LegalCosts #FamilyCourtMatters #WithoutPrejudice #FairSettlement #PostSeparationAbuse #HighConflictDivorce #PropertySettlementTips #FamilyLawHelp #TheDivorceCoursePodcast

In this episode, I sit down with my mum Lyn, our favourite straight-talking family lawyer—to unpack the biggest Family Law changes coming into effect on June 10, 2025.

We dive into how these legal reforms will impact property settlements, family violence considerations, companion animals (yes, pets!), financial disclosure rules, and more. Whether you're currently separating, in court, or supporting someone going through it, these new laws could change the game for you.

We also break down why these changes matter, how they could help victims of coercive control or economic abuse, and the kinds of evidence that could now influence outcomes in property disputes. As always, we bring the info in a way that's easy to understand—no legal jargon, just real talk..

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of family and domestic violence. 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode contains general information only and is not legal advice. Please seek independent legal advice for your situation.

🎧 Listen to this episode if…

🐾 You're separating and worried about who gets the dog 💸 You've experienced economic or financial abuse ⚖️ You're navigating a property settlement and unsure what's "fair" 📜 You're already in court and want to know if these changes apply 😟 You've struggled to get your lawyer to take family violence seriously 📂 You're overwhelmed with financial disclosure or suspect your ex is hiding assets 💔 You want to protect your rights—and your peace of mind—in the process

⏱️ Timeline Summary – What You'll Hear

• 0:00 – Trigger warning and legal disclaimer

• 1:00 – Why these 2025 law changes matter

• 2:00 – How family violence can now impact property settlements

• 5:00 – Understanding the new "wastage" rule (big shift!)

• 10:00 – What counts as economic abuse in property disputes

• 15:00 – Your pet isn't just "property" anymore – companion animals and court

• 20:00 – Financial disclosure: new pressure on lawyers and parties

• 27:00 – Children's Contact Centres: mandatory accreditation and safety focus

• 33:00 – Less Adversarial Approaches: what's changing and what's not

• 38:00 – Does this apply to your case if you're already in court?

• 41:00 – How these changes can help—or hurt—you depending on your approach

• 46:00 – Final wrap-up: What to do now and what to watch for next

🔑 Key Topics Discussed in This Episode

• The biggest Family Law reforms in 20+ years — and what triggered them

• How coercive control and economic abuse will now factor into property settlements

• Why "wastage" matters (and how post-separation spending could impact outcomes)

• The real legal status of pets in 2025 — not just "property" anymore!

• New financial disclosure rules and how they'll change the game

• The pressure on lawyers to address family violence properly

• Why Children's Contact Centres are changing — and becoming saferThe shift towards less adversarial approaches in court

• Whether these changes apply to your existing case

• What to do now to prepare if you're currently separated or about to file

🔗 Links & Resources 📄 Download the updated Central Practice Direction 📄 Link to the Attorney-General's 2025 Family Law fact sheets

https://www.ag.gov.au/families-and-marriage/publications/family-law-property-changes-10-june-2025-fact-sheet-separating-couples

https://www.ag.gov.au/families-and-marriage/publications/family-law-changes-june-2025-information-family-law-professionals

☎️ 1800 RESPECT – Family/domestic violence support ☎️ Lifeline: 13 11 14 – For emotional support 📧 Email the show: [email protected]

⚠️ Emergency Contacts & Support Services:

💜 Women's Shelter Service: Call 1800 811 811 ⚖️ Legal Aid: Visit Legal Aid Website 📞 Lifeline (24/7 Crisis Support): Call 13 11 14 👨‍👦 Mensline Australia: Call 1300 789 978 👧 Kids Help Line: Call 1800 551 800 🚨 National Domestic Violence Hotline (1800 RESPECT): Call 1800 737 732 🖤 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1800 019 123

• Does Domestic Violence Effect Property Settlement https://open.spotify.com/episode/5ByQsXAVUNYQyLVspOFF37?si=WbBHNF5GRACQ4Od20K05FA

• Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist

• Overcoming Disclosure Dilemmashttps://open.spotify.com/episode/0uOO8dKYV4NWlCfyu8FZEh?si=Vin4YgpKT020Aout1aWXzA

#FamilyLawAustralia #DivorceSupport #PropertySettlement #EconomicAbuse #CoerciveControl #FamilyViolence #FamilyCourtReform #KnowYourRights #SeparatedAndStrong #DomesticViolenceAwareness #LegalUpdates2025 #SharedParenting #CustodyAndProperty #ProtectYourPeace #DivorceAustralia