The Divorce Podcast

In this episode, Kate was joined by James Hayhurst and Adam Colthorpe to discuss Dads and divorce or separation.

About the episode:

This episode started with Kate, James and Adam looking at some typical issues faced by Dads following on from a divorce or separation. What emerged was a clear set of gender-specific issues, routed in society, and a real need for reform, particularly in the workplace. They also explored the value of early intervention and limiting the negative impact of separation on families and children in particular.

About our guests:

James is the founder of the Positive Parenting Alliance and creator of the Parents Promise.  He has a background in Marketing and PR but was compelled to set up the Positive Parenting Alliance having seen up close the multitude of issues in the family courts and the scale and numbers of children affected. James wanted to begin a new conversation about separation and so in May 2021, after many conversations with like-minded people and organisations the Parents Promise was launched. Backed by over 20 organisations including Only Mums & Dads, the children’s mental health charity Place2Be, Relate, Black Mums Upfront and our very own amicable, the aim of the Alliance is to effect important cultural change around separation in the UK and beyond. 

Adam is the Director of Co-parenting for Dads Unlimited, a men’s mental health charity working with fathers who have gone through family separation and male victims of domestic abuse to help improve the outcomes for the men and the people they care for. He is the author and facilitator of the Co-parenting Programme ‘5 Steps to Co-parenting Success!’ which has been improving the lives of separated families for the last 4 years. He has two children which he co-parents with his ex-wife.

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

Try the amicable co-parenting app free for three months. Share calendars, track expenses and communicate clearly.
iPhone: Redeem your three months free via this link
Android: Download the app and create an account. At the paywall, choose your payment method, select 'Redeem code' and enter DIVORCEPODCAST.

#Coparenting

In this first myth-busting episode, Kate was joined by Tracey Moloney, known to many as The Legal Queen on Tiktok and other social media platforms.

About the episode:

Kate and Tracey spent this episode busting common divorce and separation myths such as whether or not you need a solicitor to get divorced, when a financial order is needed in divorce proceedings, if common-law spouses exist and whether cohabiting couples have rights to property. This is part one of two myth-busting episodes, so keep an eye out for part two.

About our guests:

For a number of years, Tracey Moloney worked exclusively with clients that qualified for legal aid and specialised in children and financial matters following separation and divorce.  She was Head of the Family Department for a nationwide legal firm, where she was responsible for a team of 28 legal advisors. Tracey trained solicitors in her role as training principal and is an associate lecturer in family law at the University of Bristol. She aims to provide a clear explanation of people’s legal rights and help them to navigate the legal system. She shares her knowledge on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube as 'The Legal Queen' on all matters related to Family law. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#TheLegalBit

In this episode, Kate was joined by Dr Angharad Rudkin a clinical psychologist with over 20 years experience of working with children and families to discuss divorce and separation from the perspective of children.

About the episode:

In the episode, Kate and Angharad explored how children of different ages and genders deal with divorce and separation and the delayed impact this can have in their later life. Angharad explained the idea of ‘re-grieving’ and the benefits revisiting a separation can have for children, even years later.  They also looked at the different types of conflict and how in all its forms this can have a significant impact on children. They discussed the importance of including the other parent in your child’s life, even if they are no longer physically present. Finally, Angharad set out some useful tips on effective ways to tell your children that you’re separating, why parents often experience ‘guilt’ after they separate and what society should be doing in the future to redress the stigma that exists around parental separation.

About our guests:

Angharad is also an expert for the Metro's relationship column, offers training and consultation for family lawyers and worked as a lecturer on the Clinical Psychology doctorate at the University of Southampton for 12 years. Angharad was consulting editor for ‘101 Questions Answered about Separating with Children’ and has recently published a book for children on how to cope with their parent’s divorce, The Split Survival Kit, written with children’s author  Ruth Fitzgerald. Angharad is also passionate about communicating her work and believes key messages around child and family wellbeing should not be limited to the clinic room or the classroom.

Click on the link to find out more about Angharad's new book 'The Split Survival Kit: 10 Steps For Coping With Your Parents' Separation'.

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

Try the amicable co-parenting app free for three months. Share calendars, track expenses and communicate clearly.
iPhone: Redeem your three months free via this link
Android: Download the app and create an account. At the paywall, choose your payment method, select 'Redeem code' and enter DIVORCEPODCAST.

#Coparenting

In this episode, Kate was joined by comedian, actor and broadcaster Samantha Baines to discuss her divorce.

About the episode:

Kate and Sam began by exploring her separation which started off on an amicable footing but turned sour during divorce proceedings when solicitors got involved and two sides were created. Sam opened up about how difficult she found the initial aftermath and emotional fallout after her husband left and the difficulties the pandemic brought to the process. They looked at the challenges of healing after divorce as well as how rewarding Sam found it was to rediscover herself through working, sex, dating and self-exploration after the divorce.  Sam discussed her own journey with her mental health and how she has found both therapy and medication useful in helping her to cope. Finally, they talked about Sam's wonderful podcast The Divorce Social which she created in part to help with her own emotional recovery and is a fantastic resource for others going through a similar thing.

About our guests:

Sam is an award-winning comedian, actor and broadcaster with many shows and appearances to her credit including The Crown, Call the midwife and Magic Mike Live. She is also the host of The Divorce Social podcast and has written for various publications including The Guardian, Time Out, Huffington Post, Stylist Magazine, The Pool, Standard Issue and has a column in Modern Woman Magazine.  Sam’s debut children's book Harriet Versus the Galaxy was listed in the Independent's Best Children's Books of the Year 2019 and in the Book Trust's Great Book Guide 2020. She has a second children's book The Night the Moon Went Out which was released last summer. Sam is also an Ambassador for Royal National Institute for Deaf people, is a Phonak HEARo and has spoken to MPs at the House of Commons about hearing issues, as well as fronting the RNID cinema subtitles campaign. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#SeparationStories

In this episode, Kate was joined by Sara Davison, to discuss navigating the emotional process of divorce, separation and breakups.

About the episode:

In the episode, they begin by discussing the different types of divorce coaching all the way from amicable, which helps couples navigate the legal and financial process of divorce, to coaches like Sara, who help with the emotional and practical process of picking up your life after a breakup. They explored Sara’s own difficult journey through divorce which has shaped her career as a divorce coach. She offered some fantastic tips in terms of approaching divorce and stressed the importance of dealing with your current emotional state, but also looking to the future to help set yourself up in the best way possible. They also discussed the various flaws in the legal system and the need for future reform, particularly around children’s proceedings. This episode is full of helpful advice if you are confronted with a divorce, separation or breakup and aren’t sure where to start in terms of the emotional journey.

Trigger Warning: This episode covers content that some listeners might find distressing including poor mental health and abuse.

Organisations who can help: 

• Your local GP
• Mind - mental health charity
• Samaritans - dial 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258
• Refuge - Domestic abuse charity for women
• Men's Advice Line - Domestic abuse support for males 
• YoungMinds Crisis Messenger – for people under 19
• Is your life in danger? - dial 999
• Outside of the UK? Search for help here

About our guests:

Sara is best known as The Divorce Coach but she’s also a best-selling author and worldwide media commentator on the topic of divorce and separation. As an NLP Master Practitioner, Sara combines 26 years’ coaching experience with her own personal experience of marriage breakdown to help clients cope with challenges including heartbreak, betrayal, conflict, confidence building, co-parenting, being effective in the workplace during divorce and dating again. Sara also hosts her own podcast, Heartbreak To Happiness,  designed to help men and women struggling with the pain of relationship breakdown.

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#EmotionalJourney

In this episode, Kate was joined by author and journalist Rosie Green to discuss her journey from heartbreak to happiness. 

About the episode:

In the episode, Rosie talks to Kate about her marriage, painful separation and subsequent divorce. She talks about the importance of friendships, and how some friends might be better to lean on than others when you are going through a separation or divorce. They explore how Rosie has navigated co-parenting with her ex, the importance of finding productive and healthy ways to cope with a separation, dating post-divorce and finding happiness in new relationships.

About our guests:

Rosie has written for Red, The Times, The Telegraph and The Mail on Sunday and is the relationships expert on This Morning. Through her book, writing and Instagram she aims to help others navigate their own breakups and take them with her on the journey from rock bottom to reinvention. 

You can find out more about Rosie’s book ‘How to heal a broken heart’ by clicking on the link. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#SeparationStories

Today marks the introduction of no-fault divorce. In this episode, Kate was joined by Clive Coleman to discuss the change in law, the media narrative around it and future reform in the divorce space.

About the episode:

Clive has also been through his own divorce, which he talks about in this episode. Kate and Clive also look at how the media has previously covered divorce, its responsibility in sparking change, as well as future reform. Clive responds to criticism around no-fault divorce from religious groups and where to go to find information about no-fault divorce.

About our guests:

As the BBC’s Legal Correspondent between 2010 and 2020, Clive was the face and voice of legal coverage and analysis across the BBC news output on radio, television and the website. Drawing on his years as a practicing barrister, he covered a vast range of domestic and international legal stories and issues including 2019’s momentous Supreme Court prorogation case, Brexit, the growing courts' backlog, the Barclay brothers ‘Ritz’ dispute, GDPR, the VW emissions scandal, phone hacking, Sir Cliff Richard v BBC, and the Hillsborough tragedy inquests.

Prior to becoming BBC Legal Correspondent, Clive was for six years the presenter of Radio 4’s flagship legal analysis programme ‘Law In Action’, and presented a raft of BBC programmes including Panorama ‘The Death of Kiss and Tell’, on the rise of privacy protection under the Human Rights Act. He has also been a columnist on ‘The Times’ and written for ‘The Guardian’ and ‘The Independent’. His time in journalism has given him a comprehensive knowledge of the media landscape, and a privileged insight into the justice system, the legal profession and civil and criminal law. Clive has an in-depth knowledge of how news stories work, are managed and affect the lives and reputations of those involved. His litigation training and experience in practice has given him a particular insight into news stories involving those going to law or seeking to avoid legal action, and the role of the lawyers advising and representing them.

Clive is also an acclaimed writer for theatre, television and film. His credits include, the play ‘Young Marx’ which opened Sir Nicholas Hytner’s Bridge Theatre in 2017, ‘Chambers’, his BBC sit-com starring John Bird and Sarah Lancashire, and the film ‘The Duke’ starring Helen Mirren and Jim Broadbent, released in February 2022. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#TheLegalBit

In this episode, Kate was joined by Louise Oliver to discuss sorting out your finances when you get divorced and the value a financial planner can add to this process.

About the episode:

This is a longer episode full of tips and advice on finances and divorce. Kate and Louise start by exploring how a financial planner can help during a divorce and the importance of each person really understanding their current financial situation at the outset of the process, to make better-informed decisions about any proposed settlement. Louise talked about the work a planner does to ‘stress test’ potential settlements and looking at what is needed to ensure money lasts a lifetime rather than just the near future. Other topics they covered were; business valuations, considering life insurance if maintenance payments are being paid, the notion of 'fair' and financial abuse. 

Please note: this episode was recorded before the introduction of no-fault divorce in England and Wales, and may mention the previous legal system. For accurate information on the legal process of divorce, please visit amicable.co.uk

About our guests:

Louise has worked in the financial services sector for over 30 years and is a Certified Financial Planner and a Chartered Wealth Manager.  Throughout her career, she has regularly featured as a financial expert in the media, including BBC breakfast TV, BBC radio 4, Moneybox and local radio.  Louise also appeared as an expert for a BBC Panorama and has won awards for Female Financial Adviser of the Year (South West) and Role Model of the Year in Financial Services. Louise enjoys working with families and individuals to help them to navigate through life’s changes. A particular focus has been with regard to divorce, business sales and bereavement.       

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#Finances 

In this episode, Kate was joined by Laura Friedman Williams and James Preece to discuss sex and dating after divorce.

About the episode:‍

Please be aware that this episode contains sexual references so you might want to listen out of earshot of any children

Kate and her guests discuss sex and dating after divorce or separation. Laura explains why she thinks that being single again after a divorce is a gift, and an opportunity to have sex with confidence. James also provides his tips on how to use dating apps safely and how different genders approach sex after divorce and separation.

Please note: this episode was recorded before the introduction of no-fault divorce in England and Wales, and may mention the previous legal system. For accurate information on the legal process of divorce, please visit amicable.co.uk

About our guests:

Laura is a mother of three children and author of the recently published book Available: A Very Honest Account of Life After Divorce, which has been a #1 bestseller on Amazon and has featured in The Financial Times, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, and The Daily Mail. 

James is one of the UK's leading Dating Experts and Dating Coaches. He is regularly featured in the Independent, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, and The Guardian. He is also an official dating spokesman for the UK government and the author of 15 bestselling dating books. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#LifeAfterDivorce

In this episode, Kate is joined by Hatti Suvari to discuss the upcoming change in divorce law to a no-fault system.

About the episode:

Kate and Hatti discuss the upcoming changes in divorce law to the new no-fault system which will be introduced on the 6th of April 2022 and the issues that exist within the current system, including why having to blame each other from the offset, makes for tricky negotiations of finances and children arrangements. They explore the common myth that unreasonable behaviour or adultery has a bearing on financial settlements, when in reality this only impacts a financial order in very extreme cases. Hatti talks about how the change in terminology should make divorce more accessible as people may feel more comfortable navigating the divorce process by themselves. They also look at potential criticisms of no-fault divorce and Hatti addresses the fact that divorces will take longer.

Please note: this episode was recorded before the introduction of no-fault divorce in England and Wales, and may mention the previous legal system. For accurate information on the legal process of divorce, please visit amicable.co.uk

About our guests:

Hatti is the CEO of Red Bar Law LLP and the founder and host of the very popular Get Legally Speaking podcast. Hatti’s podcast focuses on making legal knowledge more accessible to ordinary people and has had almost two million downloads in the past two years. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#TheLegalBit