The Divorce Podcast

In this episode, Kate was joined by Jo Middleton to talk about solo parenting. 

About the episode:

Kate and Jo talk about her ‘mixed’ experience of relationships and co-parenting and her journey over the last 10 years as a solo mum. They explore the benefits of being a single parent, as well as the daily struggles and the idea of loneliness when you don’t have a partner or co-parent to lean on. Jo shares her tips on things you can do to make the solo parent journey easier and highlights that not everyone is able to co-parent, however, there are many joys that come from solo parenting.

About our guests:

Jo is the creator of the award-winning parenting blog, slummy single mummy, and solo parent to two daughters, now aged 27 and 20. Jo had her first child aged 17 in the middle of her A-levels and is now 44, and Granny to a 3-year-old. One of her daughters lives at home and has recently been diagnosed with ASD.

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

Try the amicable co-parenting app free for three months. Share calendars, track expenses and communicate clearly.
iPhone: Redeem your three months free via this link
Android: Download the app and create an account. At the paywall, choose your payment method, select 'Redeem code' and enter DIVORCEPODCAST.

#Coparenting

In this episode, Kate was joined by Co-Parenting Coach, Jen Gallagher, to discuss her tips on approaching co-parenting for younger children. 

About the episode:

Jen explored the idea of reframing common co-parenting issues so that everyone’s a winner. Reframing how you present a creative solution can shift what your partner might consider as controlling behaviour to something that can benefit everyone involved. Jen also shared her tips around having a routine that’s meaningful to your child rather than seeing things through an adult lens.

About our guests:

Jen is a Co-parenting Coach and a former therapist with a child development background. Jen is based in Florida, and she has thriving co-parenting coaching practice supporting divorced and uncoupled parents transitioning to become co-parents. She specialises in children from babies through to 8 years old and shares her wonderful tips and advice on Instagram.

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

Try the amicable co-parenting app free for three months. Share calendars, track expenses and communicate clearly.
iPhone: Redeem your three months free via this link
Android: Download the app and create an account. At the paywall, choose your payment method, select 'Redeem code' and enter DIVORCEPODCAST.

#Coparenting

In this episode, Kate was joined by Michelle Hoskin a financial abuse specialist, to discuss financial and economic abuse during a divorce.

About the episode:

In this episode Kate and Michelle look at financial and economic abuse and how it can manifest during a divorce or separation.  Michelle explains the key signs of financial and economic abuse and what can be done on an individual and professional level to help those going through this. 

TW : Some listeners may find the information and topics discussed distressing.  Please get in touch if any of these issues have affected you and we will put you in touch with the best professionals to help. 

Useful links/ charities:

• Surviving Economic Abuse 
• Dash 
• Refuge
• Men's Advice Line

About our guests:

Michelle is an international speaker, author and regular contributor to the professional press and media, with nearly 25 years of experience working alongside some of the world’s most successful financial services organisations.  She is also the Founder and Director of Standards International a leading dedicated certification body in the UK. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#TheLegalBit

In this episode, Kate was joined by Yuri Sinata to share her experience and tips around being a single working parent.

About the episode:

Yuri begins this episode by exploring the various challenges faced by single working parents, and she shares some fantastic tips on how to make the day-to-day that little bit easier.  They look at Yuri’s upbringing and how having strong supportive role models around her, has helped in her journey being a single parent. Kate and Yuri discuss her marriage and divorce, and her relocation to Los Angeles. They explore her love of food and fitness and how this has helped her cope in the wake of her divorce.

About our guests:

Yuri is a business owner and creator born and raised in Surabaya, Indonesia. She is also a single mother to her son, Kai.  Yuri came to the US in 2007 at the age of 24 with no plan, money, very little English and no identity, but she garnered the will and determination to build her life and business in Los Angeles. Through the years, she battled various obstacles: graduating from the Paul Mitchell school, paying her own school fees, opening up a new business after years of working for others, experiencing postpartum depression and healing after a divorce. Having a platform to share this dialogue with others is cathartic for Yuri. She utilises social media to share what she loves: beauty, cooking, health and wellness.

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#LifeAfterDivorce

In this episode, Kate was joined by journalist and comedian, Ellie Gibson to discuss relationship struggles and how to make a marriage work in the wake of a separation.

About the episode:

The episode begins with Kate and Ellie exploring her relationship and how separation and space ended up making her marriage stronger, resulting in two beautiful children with her husband Pete. She describes the lead-up to her split from her now husband, Pete, which many will find relatable. A sequence of arguments about ‘small’ yet fundamental issues led to the couple deciding to take a series of breaks. Ellie found individual therapy useful in getting to a place where she could reconcile with her husband. She described the impact her best friend’s divorce had on her and her husband, and she talked about the importance of trying to navigate tough patches, rather than giving up or cheating. This episode is a homage to marriage and the work required to keep a relationship strong.

About our guests:

Ellie is the co-host of the number one parenting podcast The Scummy Mummies.  She joined forces with Helen Thorn to become The Scummy Mummies in 2013 and they have gone on to produce an award-winning podcast, a sell-out touring comedy show, and a popular book. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#SeparationStories

In this episode, Kate was joined by Mark Kozminski to talk about his divorce and the impact it had on his mental health which led him to create the Blue Mind Approach, to help other men going through divorce and separation.

About the episode:

Kate and Mark touch on many common struggles that specifically men face whilst going through a separation and how this can impact healing after. Fitness and health played a crucial role in healing for Mark, as did the notion of acceptance and its ability to drive change. They also look at Mark’s co-parenting and the journey from no contact, to now having a functioning parenting arrangement post-divorce. Finally, they explore the difficulties that are presented when one person moves on earlier than the other and how damaging labels can be for both people involved.

Trigger Warning: This episode covers content that some listeners might find distressing including alcohol abuse, gambling, poor mental health and suicide.

Organisations who can help: 

• Your local GP 
• Mind - mental health charity
• Samaritans - dial 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258
• YoungMinds Crisis Messenger – for people under 19
• Is your life in danger? - dial 999
• Outside of the UK? Search for help here
• Gamcare - support with gambling
• Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) - support with alcohol addiction

About our guests:

The Blue Mind Approach is a platform that aims to drive behavioural change, build awareness, and encourage men to share, heal and grow. Kate and Mark discuss his divorce and journey of personal growth and self-discovery. Mark speaks candidly about his former drinking and gambling addiction which contributed to his separation and subsequent divorce. They discuss the void in support and advice for men going through a separation, and how this lack of support can often fuel addictions and mental health problems.

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#EmotionalJourney

In this episode, Kate was joined by Helen Adam and Kate Stanley to talk about language and divorce.

About the episode:

Kate and her guests discuss the power of language in shaping and reforming social issues and apply this to divorce and separation. The language that is used in policy and in wider society, has a real impact on people who are separating. They explore the changes in language brought in with the Children’s Act, and the move away from ‘battle language’ towards cooperative language, as well as the changes in language brought in with 'no-fault divorce' earlier this year.  Finally, Kate and her guests look at other social issues and how shifting the language has had a positive effect.

About our guests:

Helen Adam started her work with separating families as a solicitor in London.  These were pre-Children Act days, with battles over custody and residence. Following a career break, she retrained as a mediator and founded Wells Family Mediation. Helen is also chair of the Family Solutions Group (FSG).  The FSG presses for coordinated political oversight and funding for separated families.  Helen is currently part of an FSG sub-group who are reviewing the language used ‘in the system’ for families who live apart. They will be making recommendations for change away from adversarial vocabulary to language which is more family-focussed, promoting child welfare and safe outcomes for all.

Kate Stanley is Executive Director of FrameWorks UK – a not for profit communications and research organisation that helps mission-driven organisations achieve the social change they seek.  From 2011, Kate served as Board Director at NSPCC, for nearly ten years.  Previously, Kate was Deputy Director of the leading thinktank, the Institute for Public Policy Research, where she worked closely with academics and organisations to influence government social policy and practice. She has published widely on social policy and advised a wide range of governmental and non-governmental organisations including the University of Glasgow and UK Research and Innovation, and served on the Steering Group on Early Years advising the Duchess of Cambridge on her work in this field. Kate started her career in international development charities, including Save the Children, working in the UK and overseas. She was awarded a Clore Social Leadership Fellowship in 2010, is a Fellow of the British American Project, and former trustee of Hope and Homes for Children. She holds an MA in Social Anthropology from the University of Edinburgh.

P.S. We're sorry about the sound quality of Kate Stanley's audio. There was a problem with the recording equipment, and it's not up to our usual standard. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#TheLegalBit

In this episode, Kate was joined by Scottish actor and comedian, Wendy Wason, to talk about her divorce and navigating life after separation.

 About the episode:

Kate and Wendy discuss Wendy’s first marriage and subsequent divorce, which took place when her children were still young. They look at the impact her parent’s divorce had on how she managed her own separation, including her need to avoid conflict at all costs. Wendy talked about how stand-up presented a lifeline both financially and emotionally, although she described the difficulties that come with being a working single parent, particularly around organising childcare. They also explore Wendy’s blended family with both she and her ex-husband remarrying and the benefit of being able to sit down with a new partner and discuss how to navigate parenting in a new family setup.

About our guests:

Wendy has had many notable appearances across Theatre, Stand-up, Film and TV including roles in Coupling, The IT Crowd, Midsomer Murders, Sherlock, and Outcast. She is a mother of three and went through her own divorce in 2007 and has since remarried.

You can find follow Wendy on social media here. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#LifeAfterDivorce

In this episode, Kate was joined by Mark Groves to discuss self-growth and healing following breakups, separation and divorce.

About the episode:

In this episode, Kate and Mark explore how to heal from a breakup or a separation. They also looked at the context of marriage and relationships, including how society perpetuates ‘bad’ breakups by reinforcing shame and guilt on those going through them. Mark explained the paradox of not having ‘important’ conversations, out of fear of losing that relationship, when in reality, silence often contributes to relationship breakdown. They looked at whether the way people deal with breakups is gendered and how we could do more to help cultivate healthy relationships individually and as a society. They agreed that a relationship ending is not a failure, but rather an opportunity for self-exploration and growth.

About our guests:

Mark is a Human Connection Specialist, speaker, writer, and motivator. Mark founded Create The Love a platform that guides people to design the life and love they long for, following on from his own rock bottom when his relationship ended. He hosts The Mark Groves Podcast and has a significant following on social media where he shares his insight into relationships. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#EmotionalJourney

In this second myth-busting episode, Kate was joined by Tracey Moloney, known to many as The Legal Queen on Tiktok and other social media platforms.

About the episode:

This is the second time Tracey has joined Kate on the podcast, so if you haven’t already, listen to their first episode (#58). For a number of years, she worked exclusively with clients that qualified for legal aid and specialised in children and financial matters following separation and divorce.  She was Head of the Family Department for a nationwide legal firm, where she was responsible for a team of 28 legal advisors. Tracey trained solicitors in her role as training principal and is an associate lecturer in family law at the University of Bristol. She aims to provide a clear explanation of people’s legal rights and help them to navigate the legal system. She shares her knowledge on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube as 'The Legal Queen' on all matters related to Family law.

They spent this episode busting common divorce and separation myths such as; whether divorces will be automatic with the introduction of no-fault divorce, whether you ‘need’ to split your pensions or inheritance when you separate, why you may need to disclose your finances on divorce and myths around children and custody. This episode covered the most commonly asked questions about divorce and separation in easy digestible snippets. Watch this space for future myth-busting episodes.

You might be able to hear Tracey's dog in this episode!

About our guests:

For a number of years, Tracey Moloney worked exclusively with clients that qualified for legal aid and specialised in children and financial matters following separation and divorce. She was Head of the Family Department for a nationwide legal firm, where she was responsible for a team of 28 legal advisors. Tracey trained solicitors in her role as training principal and is an associate lecturer in family law at the University of Bristol. She aims to provide a clear explanation of people’s legal rights and help them to navigate the legal system. She shares her knowledge on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube as 'The Legal Queen' on all matters related to Family law. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#TheLegalBit