The Divorce Podcast

In this episode, Kate is joined by sex and relationship therapist, Ian Kerner, to discuss marital intimacy.

About the episode:

Please be aware that this episode contains sexual references so you might want to listen out of earshot of any children

Kate and Ian kick the episode off by discussing common problems which long-term couples tend to struggle with when it comes to sex. Later, they delve into various topics including intimacy issues, loss of attraction and practical tips to help relight that flame and get your physical relationship back on track.

About our guests:

Ian Kerner (PhD, LMFT) is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sex therapist who works with individuals and couples on a range of relational issues that often lead to distress. Ian is regularly quoted as an expert in various media, with recent features in The New York Times, The Economist and NPR amongst others. Ian contributes regularly on the topic of relationships for CNN. He lectures frequently, with recent presentations for the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium, the Ackerman Institute, Tony Robbins, Goop, and TED 2021. Ian is the New York Times best-selling author of She Comes First (Harper Collins) which has been translated into more than a dozen languages, as well as the recently published So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex (Grand Central). In addition to being a Clinical Fellow of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), Ian is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists and is also a member of the American Family Therapy Academy (AFTA).

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#LifeAfterDivorce

In this episode Kate was joined by Verity Glasgow, CEO of the relationship charity, OnePlusOne to discuss friends and family in the context of relationship breakdown. 

About the episode:

Kate and Verity begin this episode by touching on what happens when someone goes through a separation. They explore the role that friends and family play and the danger of misplaced advice.  Kate and Verity discuss how others 'war stories' often lead to rash decision-making because of fear. With a lack of information in the public domain on how to help friends and family who are separating, they end this episode by looking at five things to keep in mind when talking to people about their separation, with the goal of helping people end relationships in a kinder and better way.

About our guests:

OnePlusOne has more than fifty years of experience in creating evidence-based early intervention resources to help people build and maintain healthy relationships. Verity is committed to the digital transformation of relationship support services and has been a driving force behind some of OnePlusOne’s most recent projects, including the rollout of digital conflict reduction interventions and securing government funding to develop a new app to support separating parents. This episode is aimed at friends and family of anyone separating or going through a divorce so please share this episode with your network as most of us know someone who is splitting up. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#SeparationStories

In this episode, Kate was joined by financial planner, Louise Oliver, and Divorce coach, Tosh Brittan, to discuss adjusting to a new lifestyle post-separation.

About the episode:

Fear of having to change their current lifestyle is one of the biggest blockers preventing people from ending unhappy or unhealthy relationships says Tosh. This episode is all about equipping people going through a separation with the financial and emotional tools they need to adjust to a new lifestyle and build positive futures apart. With Louise covering the financial and numbers side, and Tosh focussing on the emotional journey, this episode is full of tips and advice to help anyone going through a separation. 

About our guests:

Louise Oliver has worked in the financial services sector for over 30 years and is a Certified Financial Planner and a Chartered Wealth Manager. Throughout her career, she has regularly featured as a financial expert in the media, including across the BBC, GMTV and local radio. 

As well as being a divorce coach, Tosh Brittan is an inspirational speaker, thought changer and host of the Divorce Goddess podcast, supporting women and men to have a calmer, more confident and emotionally healing divorce experience. She’s been featured on the BBC, ITV, SKY, Radio 5 Live, and in publications such as Elle Magazine, Telegraph, Sunday Times and the FT. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#LifeAfterDivorce

In this episode, Kate was joined by Jessica Fostekew - a comedian, actor and writer to discuss co-parenting success stories.

About the episode:

This episode is all about Jess’s separation from her long-term partner. We explore her wonderful co-parenting journey, her sexual awakening in her 30s and her subsequent relationships. We also look at how her parents' divorce impacted her attitude towards her own separation. This episode, and Jess’s story overall, exemplifies how you can end a relationship in a kinder and better way, prioritising the emotional well-being of everyone involved.

P.S. We're sorry there are a few moments where Jess's audio picks up traffic outside.

About our guests:

In 2019, Jess was nominated for The Dave Edinburgh Comedy Award ‘Best Show’ for her show Wench. She has appeared on Live at the Apollo, QI and C4's Travelman. She's the co-writer and co-star of the forthcoming Sky special 'Real Friends' and her series 'Sturdy Girl Club' is out now on BBC Sounds. As an actor, she stars in Motherland and in Cuckoo both on BBC and Netflix and also in a new feature film called 'Scrapper'. She hosts her own podcast Hoovering, all about eating. Jess is also a regular co-host of the behemoth podcast The Guilty Feminist.

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#SeparationStories

In this episode, Kate was joined by Paul Huntingford to discuss how therapy helped him through his divorce journey.

 About the episode:

They begin this episode by looking at how Paul’s separation impacted his mental health, when things went sour after the involvement of solicitors, ultimately leading to a complete breakdown in communication between Paul and his ex.  Kate and Paul talk about the role that shame and guilt played in his separation and the trickiness of navigating the emotional journey. It's interesting to learn how Paul has used his divorce experience to help others move through their separation and deal with their emotional journeys. They finish the episode by looking at practical tips to help if you're going through a divorce or a breakup. 

Trigger Warning: This episode covers content that some listeners might find distressing including poor mental health and abuse.

Organisations who can help:

• Dads Unlimited
• Your local GP
• Mind - mental health charity
• Samaritans - dial 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258
• YoungMinds Crisis Messenger – for people under 19
• Is your life in danger? - dial 999
• Outside of the UK? Search for help here

About our guests:

Paul is an integrative therapist working in private practice. Paul is passionate about group work and increasing access to psychological support around divorce and separation. His own divorce experience led him to retrain as a therapist having previously worked in sports and healthcare settings.

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#EmotionalJourney

In this episode, Kate was joined by Nadia Beckett to talk about arbitration and separation.

About the episode:

This episode is all about arbitration as an alternative route to resolving disputes during a divorce or separation. Kate and Nadia begin with the basics looking at what arbitration is and how it differs from going through the court. They explore when you might want to use arbitration as well as how to find an arbitrator. Nadia outlines the arbitration process, including how long it takes to reach a decision, and how an arbitrator’s determination will need to be written into a consent order if the decision is around finances. They also talk about the fact arbitration can be used for cohabiting couples as well, in their property disputes. They finish by exploring the advantages and the barriers to arbitration.

About our guests:

Nadia has been a family law solicitor for 30 years and established Beckett Solicitors in August 2008.  She specialises in private children and matrimonial financial disputes.  

Nadia has been a mediator since 1997 and a Family Law Arbitrator since 2013.  She is dual-qualified as a financial and children arbitrator and is a founding member of the Certainty Project. Nadia also co-chairs the IFLA (Institute of Family Law Arbitrators), executive committee and sits on the IFLA rules committee as well as chairing the FFA (Forum of Family Law Arbitrators). 


More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#TheLegalBit

In this episode, Kate was joined by Katherine Woodward Thomas to talk about conscious uncoupling. 

About the episode:

Katherine is perhaps best known for having coined the phrase ‘conscious uncoupling’ famously used by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin to describe their separation in 2014 and the topic of this episode. Kate begins by asking Katherine to define conscious uncoupling and what led to her becoming a marriage and family psychotherapist. They discuss the notion of fairness being hardwired and how becoming aware of emotions such as guilt, shame and anger are important in the healing journey. Katherine talks about how conscious uncoupling takes work and self-reflection and the barriers that prevent us from achieving it. They explore the stages of conscious uncoupling and what to do if your ex-partner is resistant. Kate and Katherine finish by chatting through an example of how to de-escalate conflict situations with an ex using Katherine’s three-stage technique of: apology, acknowledgement, and amends. 

About our guests:

Katherine is the New York Times bestselling author of Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After and Calling in “The One”: 7 Weeks to Attracting the Love of Your Life, as well as an award-winning licensed marriage and family psychotherapist. Over the past two decades, Katherine has taught hundreds of thousands of people from all corners of the globe to create conscious, loving relationships. Katherine’s virtual learning communities include the Conscious Uncoupling & Calling in “The One” Quests with Mindvalley. She also trains and certifies Calling in “The One” Coaches and Conscious Uncoupling Coaches, and provides ongoing supervision and development to a vibrant community of coaches from around the world. Katherine is a Billboard charting, #1 iTunes jazz artist with her CD, Lucky in Love, which was co-written and co-produced with The Brothers Koren.

You can join Katherine for free in a two-part workshop ‘The Art of Conscious Completions: How to Avoid the 5 Most Common Breakup Mistakes That Cause Sufferings, Steal Joy, and Prevent Future Love’ or find out more about her through her website or on social media.

Kate Daly is the Co-founder of amicable, the online legal service for divorcing and separating couples. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#EmotionalJourney

In this episode, Kate was joined by  Hayley Weston from Farewill and Siân Ford from amicable to talk about Wills and how they are impacted by relationships.

About the episode:

In this episode, Kate, Hayley and Siân start with the basics looking at what a Will is and when you might need one. They go on to talk about how Wills are impacted by different types of relationships including cohabitation, marriage and civil partnerships.  What becomes clear is the importance of having a Will, particularly if you’re in a cohabiting relationship. They also discuss blended families and estate planning, as well as when you should seek specialist advice from a tax expert. 

About our guests:

Farewill provides Will-writing, probate, and cremation services in the UK. Its mission is to change the way the world deals with death, putting people at the heart of everything they do. Farewill is the UK’s favourite will-writer, winning National Will Writing Firm of the Year for the fourth year in a row at the 2021 British Wills and Probate Awards, and Probate Provider of the Year for the second consecutive year in 2021. 

Hayley  Weston has been with Farewill for just over a year and is the Lead Solicitor on their Legal team.  She is primarily responsible for all aspects of the legal accuracy of the company’s wills and she provides day-to-day supervision and support to the online and telephone Wills teams, as well as supporting where needed on our probate and funerals business. Hayley joined Farewill having previously specialised in all areas of private practice from Wills, probate, trusts, estate and tax planning.

Siân Ford is a Consent Order Specialist at amicable having completed a law degree, LPC and Masters specialising in family law. Before joining amicable, Sian worked at several law firms working with private client with a focus on Wills and probate.  She also has experience in criminal practice and Cardiff Crown Court. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#TheLegalBit

In this episode, Kate was joined by Tom Nash, Mr Divorce Coach to talk about healing from infidelity and affairs.

About the episode:

Topics Kate and Tom cover in this episode include: reasons why people cheat, how a victim of an affair isn’t always a victim of the marriage, the situations when reconciliation is possible, how to work through an affair and the role of shared accountability. He explained how coaching offers an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. They end the episode with Tom sharing his top tips for navigating a blended family based on his personal and professional experience.

About our guests:

Tom Nash is the UK's premier internationally certified Male Divorce Coach and knows first-hand the roller coaster of emotions and practical challenges of separation, having grown up with divorced parents, in a blended family and going through his own divorce. He retrained as a Master NLP Practitioner in Coaching and now supports individuals & couples with the emotional, mindset & practical realities of their divorce, separation, and co-parenting. He is regularly in the media sharing his unique expertise, from BBC Radio to The Times, and ITVs This Morning. 

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#EmotionalJourney

In this episode, Kate was joined by Nav Mirza to talk about his experience of divorce, what happens when the system fails and why he founded Dads Unlimited. 

About the episode:

Coming up to the one-year mark of the introduction of no-fault divorce in England and Wales, which came into law on April 6th 2022, this episode is all about what happens when the system fails, and future reforms in this space. Kate began this episode by exploring Nav’s experience of divorce and the various ways he and his family were let down by the legal system and other public bodies. They explore positive reforms that have taken place since Nav’s separation, as well as future reforms that need to happen to help protect people in similar situations in the future. Nav also explains more about the wonderful work of Dads Unlimted.  

 Trigger Warning: This episode covers content that some listeners might find distressing including poor mental health, suicide and abuse.

Organisations who can help:

• Dads Unlimited
• Your local GP
• Mind - mental health charity
• Samaritans - dial 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258
• YoungMinds Crisis Messenger – for people under 19
• Is your life in danger? - dial 999
• Outside of the UK? Search for help here

About our guests:

Dads Unlimited is a men’s mental health charity working with fathers who have gone through family separation and male victims of domestic abuse. Its purpose is to help improve the outcomes for the men and the people they care for. Nav wanted to make life easier for dads in his situation, and provide the advice, support and community he didn’t have.

Nav has a background in law having previously called to the Bar. He’s helped set up the Independent Police Complaints Commission; held senior positions from the NHS Chief Executive programme, as well as a host of strategic, tactical and operational roles from across Central Government, including the House of Commons, House of Lords and the Home Office.

More resources:

Get in touch with amicable for information on the legal, financial and children aspects of separation. Book a free 15-minute consultation with an amicable expert through the amicable website.

#SeparationStories