The Feminist Dating Show

Finding love isn't just luck or timing.

It comes down to two learnable skills. Episode 269 of The Feminist Dating Show breaks both of them down so you can start practicing today.

Inside this episode:

✨ The reason going on more dates won't get you closer to the right person. Dating is not a numbers game. It's an act of self-trust.

✨ Proximity to aligned opportunity: why most people are either paralyzed by fear or doing dating busy work, and what to do instead.

✨ Courageous behavior in the face of opportunity: shooting your shot, blessing and releasing fast, asking for what you want on a first date. That's not too much. That's main character energy.

✨ Women who self-silence during conflict are four times more likely to die prematurely. These two skills aren't just how you find love. They're how you stop silencing yourself once you're in it.

Work with Lily:

📖 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book

🌟 Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating

✨ Free Essence-Based Preferences workbook: datebrazen.com/workbook

If you want to date men AND you want to decenter men... This week's episode of The Feminist Dating Show (episode 268) is a giant permission slip. Because most dating advice is telling you to go on more dates, give more people a chance, stop being so picky. And all of that is designed to exhaust you into settling. (and you deserve more) Decentering men doesn't mean never dating a man again. It means stopping the habit of using the wrong men as evidence against your desires. It means re-centering yourself, your desires, and your preferences. And it is the fastest path to finding the right person. Inside episode 268, you'll learn: ✨ Why most men are going to be wrong for you (and why that's actually good news) ✨ How to stop using past emotionally unavailable men as a weapon against what you want ✨ The three tactical steps to decenter men and filter fast toward the right ones ✨ Why being self-centered in dating will help you find love faster Your desire is evidence that what you want exists. This episode will help you believe that and live it. Work with Lily:

📖 Get the book: Thank You, More Please 🌟 Join the MCD waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating ✨ Free Essence-Based Preferences workbook: datebrazen.com/workbook

Dating in your main character energy means more access to everything you want. More connection. More aliveness. More of the good stuff.

It also means more rejection. BOO.

Rejection doesn't have to mean anything about you. It's a filter, getting the wrong people out of the way. And the fear of it is one of the top forces stopping people from going after what they want.

This episode is your rejection resilience guide. So you become unstoppable in your dating life.

Inside episode 267:

✨ Why we fear rejection like death (literally, biologically)

✨ The SOFT protocol: move through rejection without making it mean something about you

✨ Fierce vs. tender self-compassion and when you need each one

✨ How to build reframes that actually feel true, not like toxic positivity

Work with Lily:

📖 Get the book: Thank You, More Please — https://datebrazen.com/book

🌟 Join the MCD waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating

✨ Free Essence-Based Preferences workbook: datebrazen.com/workbook

Cora left an unhealthy marriage, deconstructed her entire evangelical upbringing, bought her first house, and raised two 16-year-olds solo. Then she met someone really good on Hinge. Who met all of her essence-based preferences. And she almost talked herself out of it. Not because he did anything wrong. Because she felt ashamed for wanting partnership after working so hard to become independent. In this live coaching session on The Feminist Dating Show, I coach Cora through the spiral in real time. We build her an "if this, then that" plan for the anxiety. We upgrade the questions she's asking herself. And we talk about why "desire is your birthright" (in the words of Dr. Juliana Hauser), not something you have to earn after you've suffered enough. If you have ever felt like wanting love was a betrayal of your hard-won independence, episode 266 is for you.

Work with Lily:

Read Lily's book: Thank You, More Please

Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@datebrazen

Follow on TikTok: tiktok.com/@datebrazen

Follow on Instagram: instagram.com/datebrazen

Explore programs + resources: datebrazen.com

If you have a great life and dating just doesn't feel like part of it — this one's for you.

In episode 265, I'm coaching Christina live. She's 36, has a great life, one long-term relationship under her belt, and is asking the question a lot of you are quietly asking: is it even worth it to try dating after so much disappointment?

She's frustrated by the single tax — the emotional and financial cost of being the only single person in her circle, coordinating everything alone while everyone else has a built-in teammate.

She wants a partner more than she lets herself admit.

And she's bi, but feels like an adolescent there compared to her experience dating men — and keeps wondering if it's even worth exploring.

In this episode, we dive into ALL of this, and come up with a concrete plan to make dating a part of her amazing life-- with permission, boundaries, and a plan to attract more.

Work with Lily:

Read Lily's book: Thank You, More Please

Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@datebrazen

Follow on TikTok: tiktok.com/@datebrazen

Follow on Instagram: instagram.com/datebrazen

Explore programs + resources: datebrazen.com

Here's the secret of flirting... Every single person you've ever wanted to talk to — the cute stranger on the subway, the guy at the coffee shop, the woman you keep seeing at the farmers market — is also in their head. Every. Single. One. And yet most of us walk around convinced that WE are the only ones who are awkward, anxious, and completely clueless about flirting. This week on The Feminist Dating Show, I brought in flirt coach @benjamincamras to change that story so you can feel like the confident badass you are while flirting and connecting with new cuties. In Episode 264, we cover: → What flirting actually IS (hint: it's not what you think) → The 4 flirt styles — and how to find yours → How to handle rejection without spiraling into a shame tornado → What to do when your mind goes completely blank mid-conversation → The subway flirt role play you didn't know you needed → How to flirt safely when you hold marginalized identities → The one thing to do THIS WEEK to build your flirt muscles This is not about performing. It's about becoming your most confident, authentic self — and you already have everything you need.

Follow Benjamin on:

• TikTok
• Instagram
• Flirtations! Podcast

Work with Lily:

Read Lily's book: Thank You, More Please

Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@datebrazen

Follow on TikTok: tiktok.com/@datebrazen

Follow on Instagram: instagram.com/datebrazen

Explore programs + resources: datebrazen.com

If you've ever opened a dating app and immediately wanted to throw your phone across the room — this one's for you.

In episode 263 of the Feminist Dating Show, I'm coaching Kayla live. This episode is for you if you relate to any of this:

• You open a dating app and immediately spiral into, "What if they make me uncomfortable?" or "what if I say something stupid?"
• You avoid swiping because judging people by their photos makes you feel like a bad person
• You watch your friends get matches and wonder what you're doing wrong
• You feel like a late bloomer, a re-entry dater, or just behind
• Deep down, you're afraid the real problem is that you're just not lovable...

In this episode, I help Kayla name what's underneath her dating avoidance. We name what makes dating apps so dang difficult on our brains/bodies/nervous systems (they are such a flawed tool!). AND we build a simple "if this, then that" plan for dating that soothes her anxiety. In this episode, you'll learn to swipe without abandoning yourself, without judging yourself for your attraction preferences, or without lowering your standards.

Work with Lily:

Read Lily's book: Thank You, More Please

Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@datebrazen

Follow on TikTok: tiktok.com/@datebrazen

Follow on Instagram: instagram.com/datebrazen

Explore programs + resources: datebrazen.com

This one's for you if dating has started to feel like a hamster wheel of painful experiences… and you keep thinking: I've done so much work on myself—why is this still so hard?

In this live session, I coach Quinn through:

• the loop of type vs. essence-based preferences
• the fear of being "too much" in dating
• what to do when uncertainty triggers a full-body spiral
• how to tell if your "picker is broken"… or if you've been trained to assume you're the problem
• self-compassion as a real tool (not a pep talk) to re-regulate and come back home to yourself
• how to update your EBPs so you're not dating someone you have to parent or beg for affection
• community + dating after a big move

By the end, Quinn says it perfectly: this session felt like closing a bunch of tabs in her brain and finally having the system run again.

If you've ever been in the mindset of "it's fate or it's me," I want you to hear this.

Work with Lily:

Read Lily's book: Thank You, More Please

Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@datebrazen

Follow on TikTok: tiktok.com/@datebrazen

Follow on Instagram: instagram.com/datebrazen

Explore programs + resources: datebrazen.com

Have you ever wondered if you're "too late" because dating has never worked the way it seems to work for everyone else?

My client Liz joined Main Character Dating at 38 having never been in a long-term relationship. She felt behind, alone, and unsure how to even do dating.

What shifted for Liz inside Main Character Dating was hope.

No more dating shame.

And an action plan that helped her move toward the right dates with self-trust and support.

In this episode of The Feminist Dating Show, Liz shares how dating went from something she avoided to something that finally felt possible.

In this conversation, Liz shares how:

• Dating went from something she avoided to something that felt possible
• Community helped her realize she wasn't the only one
• Structure and feedback helped her interrupt old patterns
• She started dating with clarity, courage, and direction

Her words say it best: dating feels possible now.

If you've ever thought "Is it always going to be like this?" — this one's for you.

And I also want you to know this:

Main Character Dating is open for enrollment right now.

This is my year-long group coaching program for anyone who hasn't found a romantic relationship (or the right one), and wants a joyful dating life that makes the right relationship inevitable.

🗓 Doors are open until Monday, Feb 16th.

💖 Learn more and join us here: datebrazen.com/dating

No matter what, I know Liz's story will help you feel less alone—and more hopeful about what's possible for you.

Work with Lily:

Read Lily's book: Thank You, More Please

Watch on YouTube: youtube.com/@datebrazen

Follow on TikTok: tiktok.com/@datebrazen

Follow on Instagram: instagram.com/datebrazen

Explore programs + resources: datebrazen.com

In this episode, I'm sharing my 10 rules of feminist dating—the principles I know actually lead to an equitable, joyful partnership. No matter your past experience (or lack of experience), your age, or your sexuality, these rules are here to help you magnetize the right partner and feel amazing doing it.

These 10 rules are a response to outdated, patriarchal dating advice that teaches you to shrink, self-silence, and settle. I walk through what it means to date as the main character of your life, expect co-creation, stop doing unnecessary emotional labor, question inherited scripts, and reject the idea that you're "too late."

This episode is for late bloomers, restarter daters, and anyone who wants to date with power, alignment, and self-trust—without playing games or abandoning themselves along the way.