The Feminist Dating Show

Here are 3 signs you're demoting yourself to the "best friend" role in love, friendship, and work...

You're the designated listener in your friendships, always the one reaching out first, making the plans, overgiving and caretaking. In dating, you're hesitating to ask for what you want for fear of scaring them off, settling for good enough or settling for inaction. At work, you're logging in past 9p.m., trying to fulfill your coworkers' needs because you fear that shutting down your computer will let people down and mean you're not seen as the go-to person.

It's exhausting to demote yourself to the "best friend" role. And it's time for your main character era.

This week's episode is about the skill set that will take you from "best friend" to main character. Main character energy isn't something you're born with. It's learnable. In this episode, you'll learn the exact three-part framework Lily uses in her own life and teaches her clients to finally stop shrinking and start taking up space in your dating life, your friendships, and your work.

Inside episode 278, you'll lear:

■ The three signs you've been demoting yourself to the best friend role across dating, friendship, and work

■ The three-part skill set that makes up main character energy: permission, self-trust, and massive messy action

■ How to build self trust (even if you've never had it before)

■ What it actually means to shoot your shot unapologetically in every area of your life

Ready to step into your main character era? Join Lily's free live training, Quit Being the Best Friend, on September 15th to learn how to break free from people-pleasing and finally get what you want in love, friendship, and work. Sign up: https://datebrazen.com/best-friend

Work with Lily:

■ Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book

■ Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating

■ Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook

■ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/

■ Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen

■ Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

If approaching a cutie in the wild makes you nauseous…

If you "aren't the type of person" to make eye contact with hotties in the wild…

If the thought of asking someone out in-person makes your butthole clench up…

If you want to try in-person dating, but feel overwhelmed and anxiety-filled at HOW to start.

This episode is for you.

💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book

💎 Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating

💎 Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook

💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/

💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen

💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

If you've ever feared that you're not attractive or desirable because it's never happened before, this episode is a must-listen.

Lily breaks down the internalized fears many late bloomers carry—and how to reframe those thoughts with compassion, context, and confidence using her signature ACK mindset tool (Acknowledge, Compassion, Kind Reframe). You'll also get a powerful challenge to reconnect with your body and spark self-trust this week.

Links + Resources:

📚 Buy Lily's book Thank You More Please: datebrazen.com/book

💖 Work with Lily: datebrazen.com

🎥 YouTube Channel

📱 TikTok

📸 Instagram

You want to flirt IRL. But you're scared to start...

The Flirting Ladder is exactly how you will build the skills to become an expert, confident flirter!

This is the exact tool Lily teaches inside Main Character Dating to take you from frozen with fear to flirting with confidence. In this episode:

→ Flirting is joyful, courageous connection. Not a performance, not a personality trait some people are born with. It's a skill set you build by doing.

→ Awkwardness is the price of admission for connection. It will be awkward, and that is not a sign you're doing it wrong.

→ You cannot say the wrong thing to the right person. The right person is looking for you too, and they will be delighted you walked up.

→ The flirting ladder itself: start with one second of eye contact and climb, one accessible rung at a time, until "so random question, are you single" feels doable.

→ The 10 seconds of courage tool that builds momentum from paralyzed to shooting your shot. By the time "random question" is out of your mouth, you're already halfway done.

Your flirting ladder lives right next to your rejection resilience plan from episode 267. Build both and you're unstoppable this summer.

💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book

💎 Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating

💎 Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook

💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/

💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen

💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

Today we're talking about making the impossible happen. So if you think finding love is impossible for you, this is the episode for you. You've done it before. The friendship you didn't know you needed. The job that used to be a pipe dream and is now a no-duh. Your love life is next.

Work with Lily:

■ Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book

■ Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating

■ Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook

■ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/

■ Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen

■ Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

If rejection makes you want to hide under the covers and never date again—this episode is your roadmap back to brave action.

In this Episode Spotlight, Lily shares one of her most painful rejections from her dating life, how it nearly derailed her belief in love, and the five-step Rejection Resilience Side Quest she created to help late bloomers build the skill of shooting their shot without spiraling.

Inside this episode:

⚡️ Why rejection feels so dangerous (and why that makes total sense)

⚡️ A 5-step framework to depersonalize "no" and take bold action anyway

⚡️ A rejection aftercare protocol that actually helps you recover faster

⚡️ How building resilience leads to getting more of what you want in love and life

This is the most essential skill in dating that no one teaches, until now.

Work with Lily:

💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book 💎 Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating 💎 Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook 💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen 💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

This episode of The Feminist Dating Show is a juicy one-- I'm responding to a listener's voicemail about feeling completely hopeless after being ghosted... And after validating the hell out of her (because getting ghosted SUCKS), I got down to answering her question with a tactical action plan: How do you build hope in your dating life after so much disappointment? Is it even realistic to be hopeful in this dating climate? If these questions resonate with you, you're going to love love love this episode.

Links:

Date Brazen on TikTok

Date Brazen on Instagram

127. My response to the question, "Will I just die alone?"

128. The questions you don't say out loud..

139. Body image and your dating life with Bri Campos

140. My bless and release strategy for letting go

Kristen Neff, SelfCompassion.org

Simone Seol's Joyful Marketing Podcast

Work with Lily

• Join the Main Character Dating: https://datebrazen.com/dating
• Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book
• Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook
• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/
• Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen
• Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

If you feel like a late bloomer, and you're fearful that will come off like a "red flag" when you start dating, this is for you.

This is a live coaching session with Dana, a healthcare worker who's never been in a long-term relationship and is wondering if it's too late for her. In one hour, Lily helps her build a full dating system from scratch.

Inside this episode:

💎 Why you're for the few, not for the many, and how that one reframe changes how you see every dating app profile

💎 How to build essence-based preferences live, so you know exactly what you want before you swipe

💎 The vetting questions that surface emotional maturity, shared values, and real adventure before you ever meet in person

💎 A dating profile makeover that starts with what you love, not an apology

💎 Why "I'm a late bloomer" isn't a "red flag"

Dana left this session with her preferences on paper, a vetting system, a rebuilt profile, and a completely different relationship to her own love life. You will too.

Work with Lily:

💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book 💎 Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating 💎 Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook 💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen 💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

You know that spiral where you replay a conversation for hours, convinced you said the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time? Lily's got one sentence that ends it.

This week's Episode Spotlight revisits the piece of advice that went viral for a reason: you cannot say the wrong thing to the right person.

Inside this episode:

✨ The exact moment on a first date Lily talked about her ex for 30 minutes straight, and why it didn't end the relationship (it's the one she's still in, eight years later)

✨ The follow-up nobody talks about: the right person isn't just forgiving, they know how to ask for what they need

✨ Why "minimum viable audience" means you're not for everybody, and that's the relief valve for first-date anxiety

✨ The difference between being a mind-reader and letting someone tell you what they need

✨ How to stop treating dating like there's a secret script you have to get right

→ Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book → Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating → Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook → Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ → Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen → Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

If you've never been in a relationship before, or never been in a good one, and you identify with feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, or overwhelm when it comes to dating, and you just feel like it's impossible for you to find love and it's all over. This episode is for you.

This is exactly what I would do if I was your dating coach in the next three weeks, so you could build a joyful dating life, attract the best dates of your life, and make the right relationship inevitable this summer.

Inside Episode 275:

• Why "it happens when you least expect it" is actually desire suppression in disguise, and what to do instead
• How to build your matchmaker protocol: claim your essence-based preferences so you stop settling before you even get to the starting line
• The vetting questions I used as a professional matchmaker to qualify the right people and disqualify the wrong ones without mind drama
• Why rejection feels like death (it's biological, not dramatic) and how to build a bounce back plan so it stops running your dating life
• The Bounce Back protocol: a step-by-step rejection resilience plan you can write in your notes app right now

Work with Lily

• Join the Main Character Dating: https://datebrazen.com/dating
• Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book
• Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook
• Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/
• Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen
• Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen