Today I have a special gift for you. My husband Rodd is here to talk about how we keep our relationship intimate and thriving. 

We’re very busy people and we don’t have a ton of extra time for date nights and romantic getaways, but we do know how to prioritize one another and feed our relationship. We know how to let the erotic energy flow and enjoy our emotional connection. 

We used to spend too much energy on mundane things, and end up compromising and holding back with each other when it mattered. This lead to a buildup of resentment and frustration that would inevitably explode and leave Rodd feeling he had to navigate emotional land mines.

Using the 6 Keys to an Intimate Marriage has transformed our relationship to one of closeness and intimacy, mutual support, laughter and fun. The communication in our marriage, companionship, and passion are deeply satisfying and we credit our capacity to Cultivate Curiosity, Embrace Honesty, Be Kind, Choose Happiness, Take Responsibility, and Seek Growth.

Program mentioned:

ALIGNED & HOT MARRIAGE www.alignedhotmarriage.com

If you’re ready to create the deliciousness and joy of a growth-oriented, passionate relationship, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com

Contact Alexandra https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/contact/

Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy” https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

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When children are young, it’s fascinating to watch their growth and milestones. It’s easy to be excited about watching them learn how to roll over, crawl, talk, walk, and tie their shoes. As we all get older, there’s a sameness about us that isn’t so exciting. 

The sixth and final Key to an Intimate Marriage is to “Seek Growth”. In your marriage, that means:

• If you’re doing the same things over and over, it gets boring and unfulfilling no matter how wonderful it was the first time.
• You need to check in with yourself and your partner about what you each know about yourselves and each other that you didn’t know 10 years ago, 10 days ago, or even 10 minutes ago.
• What do you desire now? How has that changed?
• Be clear and intentional about how you prioritize growth.

No matter what happens in your relationship, you can see it through the lens of growth. Ask yourself what you can focus on and what there is to learn, so that whatever you are experiencing will be inspiration for you to grow and evolve.

Programs:

 ALIGNED & HOT MARRIAGE www.alignedhotmarriage.com

If you’re ready to create the deliciousness and joy of a growth-oriented, passionate relationship, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com

Contact Alexandra https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/contact/

Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy” https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

IG

https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/

Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/alexandrastockwellcoach

Facebook profile

https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

The fifth Key to an Intimate Marriage is “Take Responsibility”. That may be a loaded phrase for some, but hear me out. 

Very often among educated, successful couples, we have this idea that everything should be split 50/50, fair and equal. You may be familiar with the phrases, “it takes two to tango,” and “we are both in this together.” While those are true in their context, meeting each other halfway isn’t the way to a passionate marriage.

The only way all aspects of the marriage will be addressed and taken care of is if you take 100% responsibility for the quality of your relationship. Ideally, your partner will take 100% as well, but when you take all the responsibility you won’t be waiting around for your partner to do their part and instead will go ahead and improve things.

That does NOT mean that you’re 100% a caretaker or nurturer. That doesn’t mean you do all the work. It may mean taking the initiative to make some plans for yourself to go to the spa, asking your partner for help with household matters, stepping into the hard conversations, or just being responsible for making interactions feel good and respectful. Basically, it means you stop waiting for your spouse to change before bettering yourself and how you show up in your relationship.

Programs:

  ALIGNED & HOT MARRIAGE www.alignedhotmarriage.com

If you’re ready to create the deliciousness and joy of a growth-oriented, passionate relationship, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com

Contact Alexandra https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/contact/

Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy” https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

IG

https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/

Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/alexandrastockwellcoach

Facebook profile

https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

During my studies in college, I took many philosophy courses and one constant all the way from Ancient Greece to the present was that all human beings seek happiness. Based on what I had seen in my life so far, I didn’t really believe that was true.

Now, after my decades of work with clients and couples, I agree with the wisdom of that assertion. The problem is that most people don’t really know how to get the happiness they seek. In my 6 Keys of an Intimate Marriage, the key of “Choose Happiness” ties in with uncompromising intimacy in that you are honoring the truth that lives within you.

Listen for a story about a couple I’ve worked with and how choosing happiness has improved communication in their marriage, reduced resentment, and made them both feel much better as they worked through the keys.

I’d really love to hear what came up for you in this episode. Contact Alexandra and share your thoughts here: https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/contact/

ALIGNED & HOT MARRIAGE www.alignedhotmarriage.com

DESIRES: Awaken the WOMAN within https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/desires/

Contact Alexandra https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/contact/

If you’re ready to create the deliciousness and joy of a growth-oriented, passionate relationship, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com

Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy” https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/

https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

https://www.facebook.com/alexandrastockwellcoach

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

​​The most common relationship advice all over the world is to compromise. If you want a bland, conflict-free companionship, then yes. If you want the spice and spark of an intimate marriage, you need to make your desires known. 

DESIRES: Awaken the WOMAN within https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/desires/

As women, we are conditioned to disconnect from our desires. When I came to understand the importance of bringing my feelings into my marriage so all of me can be alive in the dynamic I share with my husband, it felt lonely. The problem wasn’t that my husband didn’t want me to have my desires; the problem was the way I was speaking to him about it. He wanted me to be kind. 

Learning how to be kind isn’t a very simple thing. I have a module in my Aligned & Hot Marriage program on exactly that. Many women have gotten used to speaking with a sting or acidity, and/or wait until the resentment builds up to the boiling point.

I’d really love to hear what came up for you in this episode. Contact Alexandra https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/contact/

Season 1, Episode 42 "Uncompromising Intimacy" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/uncompromising-intimacy/id1548060690?i=1000536253485

ALIGNED & HOT MARRIAGE www.alignedhotmarriage.com

DESIRES: Awaken the WOMAN within https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/desires/

Contact Alexandra https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/contact/

If you’re ready to create the deliciousness and joy of a growth-oriented, passionate relationship, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com

Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy” https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/

https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

https://www.facebook.com/alexandrastockwellcoach

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

The second key to an intimate marriage is Embrace Honesty. In this episode I won’t be addressing the major dishonesties such as infidelity, hidden bank accounts, et cetera. I’m talking about the small resentments that build up over time, knowing that your relationship is pretty good but things could be a lot better.

Whenever you answer “how are you?” with “I’m fine,” and you’re not, it builds a wall between you. By dampening your responses you’re training your partner to be less responsive to your subtle signals and less sensitive to what is happening in your soul. 

In order to share this level of honesty, it takes a lot of bravery, self-awareness, and willingness to express what is happening.

I got rid of my resentment “straight jacket” in 2 ways:

• I learned to clear my resentments, which we cover in my Aligned & Hot Marriage program
• I learned how to speak up so I wasn’t building resentment in the first place.

First, you have to embrace honesty with yourself, then the smallest honest communications with your partner will transform so much more than you can imagine.

ALIGNED & HOT MARRIAGE www.alignedhotmarriage.com

If you’re ready to create the deliciousness and joy of a growth-oriented, passionate relationship, visit theintimatemarriagepodcast.com.

Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy” https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/

https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

https://www.facebook.com/alexandrastockwellcoach

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

The first key to an intimate marriage is: Cultivate Curiosity.

Early in a relationship, it’s easy to be curious about everything from scars, favorite foods, wild stories, spirituality and beyond. Then, as a relationship matures, the curiosity fades and you become more comfortable. You already know how they’ll order their coffee or how they’ll answer a question before you even ask. It’s beautiful to be so familiar and to free your energy to focus on other things.

The problem is that when we become so comfortable and secure in this way,  we end up missing out on the growth that we’re each going through. The drop in curiosity leads to being disconnected from one another’s internal experiences.

Curiosity also helps when you’re in the middle of a conflict. If it’s intense, the most helpful thing you can do is to stop, take a breath, and ask a curious, open-ended question. Then listen to the answer with an open mind and an open heart.

If you’re focused on being right, and no longer open to your partner’s point of view, it creates disconnection. On the other hand, when you cultivate curiosity, it builds collaboration, creativity, and connection.

If you are currently in a phase of disconnection and distance in your relationship and/or having conflict, cultivate curiosity! Ask open-ended questions and then listen generously to the responses.

If you’re in a strong, solid, connected relationship, it’s still essential to cultivate curiosity in order to make your relationship even stronger, and more joyful.

If you’re ready to create the deliciousness and joy of a growth-oriented, passionate relationship, visit theintimatemarriagepodcast.com.

Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy” https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/

https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

https://www.facebook.com/alexandrastockwellcoach

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

If you’re just joining the podcast now, I recommend going back to the beginning of Season 2 to gain some context for what I’m about to cover in this episode.

We have an epidemic of conflict-free, passion-free relationships going on right now. My prescription for an intimate marriage evolved out of my medical training, years of experience coaching other couples, my own anecdotal research, and what I have learned in my own marriage. 

I have codified it all in the 6 Keys to an Intimate Marriage. They are:

• Cultivate Curiosity.
• Embrace Honesty.
• Be Kind.
• Choose Happiness.
• Take Responsibility.
• Seek Growth.

I have seen these 6 keys work in many different kinds of relationships and many different kinds of situations. The results are wonderful!

We’ll go into more depth with each of the keys in upcoming episodes. 

If you’re ready to create the deliciousness and joy of a growth-oriented, passionate relationship, visit theintimatemarriagepodcast.com to get started.

Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy” https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/

https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

https://www.facebook.com/alexandrastockwellcoach

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

Compromise is by far the most common relationship advice that’s given. In order to have a happy marriage you have to be good at compromising, right? Wrong! 

What really happens when you compromise is that you’re holding parts of yourself back from your relationship, and that doesn’t bode well.

When you stop compromising and bring your entire self into your relationship, when you learn to accept all parts of one another, you will be able to create solutions that you couldn’t imagine on your own. 

Uncompromising intimacy is the opposite of compromise. It’s glorious, and it takes intentionality.

The main reason to compromise is to avoid conflict, not rock the boat, and not mess with something that’s working well.

There are many problems with this approach:

• Eventually, you get so skilled at compromise that you don’t even realize you’re doing it.
• You get so used to turning away from what you want, it becomes difficult to find your desires again.
• Unmet and uncommunicated desires often lead people to turn elsewhere.

Uncompromising intimacy is the opposite of compromise. It’s glorious, connecting, and it takes intentionality.

You’re not doing yourself any favors to compromise on your desires. The number 1 way to avoid divorce is to know what you want and know how to ask for it.

Do you know what you want? Do you know what you desire within your relationship? Do you know how to bring it up in a way that’s respectful of the relationship?

If you’re ready to create the deliciousness and joy of a growth-oriented, passionate relationship, visit theintimatemarriagepodcast.com to get started.

Alexandra’s book “Uncompromising Intimacy” https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

https://www.instagram.com/alexandra.stockwell.intimacy/

https://www.facebook.com/alexandra.stockwell.7

https://www.facebook.com/alexandrastockwellcoach

Join THE INTIMATE MARRIAGE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hotmarriage

Do you want to spend more time with your partner, believing it will contribute to you both feeling desire, and feeling desire for one another? Are you feeling numb, disconnected, and lacking the intimacy your marriage once had?

Newsflash: going on a fancy vacation, getting new lingerie, getting your hair done, and/or losing a few pounds will NOT fix the problem. Those are short-term, external, temporary adjustments which won’t make a big difference.

If you want to revive your connection, it’s necessary to make changes on the inside. Personal development, self-awareness, noticing when you’re being reactive, being more accepting of yourself and your partner–that’s what’ it takes to create the juicy connection and intimacy you’re looking for.

What is it that creates happiness in relationships?

What do you need to put your attention on in order to experience more happiness?

Those are the questions I’m exploring in season 2 of The Intimate Marriage Podcast.

Explore them with me by considering for yourself:

• What are your own thoughts about being happy in your relationship?
• What are your assumptions about how it works?
• What have you been telling yourself you need, in order to be happy?

Once you identify the stories you’ve been telling yourself, it’s much easier to dismantle them and step into what you really need in order to enjoy your life.

If you’re ready to create the deliciousness and joy of a growth-oriented, passionate relationship, visit theintimatemarriagepodcast.com to get started.

“Uncompromising Intimacy” the book: https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl

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