Hi Friend!

Welcome to another episode of the ODAAT Chat, my name is Arlina and I'll be your host.

If you are new here, this is a podcast where my guests and I talk about how to recovery from alcoholism and addiction by a variety of different methods.

I'm looking to uncover the moments of clarity, the revelations, and the tools and practices for healing which lead to long term recovery.

OK, so it was really hard for me not to go all fan girl on Darren, but I think I managed to maintain my cool and I'll tell you why I almost lost it, but before I do, I just wanted to share that...

This episode is sponsored by my new course "Holding Safe Space-Letting Go of Secrets and Living Guilt Free". They say we're only as sick as our secrets. That it's holding onto our guilt and shame that holds us back from feeling like we deserve better. We have to be willing to let go of that guilt and shame in order to allow ourselves to receive the love we need in order to heal.

This is your opportunity to be free. Today could be the day you decide to let it go and I'm here to help. If you are ready, go to SoberLifeSchool.com and Look for "Holding Safe Space" and register for your confidential 1:1 session with me. I truly believe everyone deserves to be free, I will help guide you through the process.

Sign up today, at soberlifeschool.com

So back to today's episode with with Super Celebrity Agent, CEO of Prince Marketing Group, and most recently author of "Aiming High: How a Prominent Sports and Celebrity Agent Hit Bottom at the Top", With Kristen McGuiness, and foreword by Prince's very first client, Earvin "Magic" Johnson. How cool is that??

And can I just tell you than although Darren has been on the press circuit like NBC 6, Good Day NY, Dr. Drew Pinsky and FOX , his PR Agency reached out to be on the ODAAT Chat Podcast! How cool is that?? His book hit the #1 on Amazon even before it was released! Was it because guys like Mark Cuban, Kevin Harrington, Hulk Hogan, and Dennis Rodman sent out recommendations on Social Media? Maybe. I think it's because it's a beautifully written book with great stories and an inspirational message.

Darren shows true courage by being so open about his dark and destructive drug and alcohol use. I found Darren to be so humble and genuine and he had AH-Mazing, and deeply heartfelt stories. I can't wait for you to hear them, so with that, please enjoy this episode, with Darren Prince.

With Love and Gratitude,

Arlina

Holding Safe Space - Letting go of Guilt and Shame

Hi Friend!

Welcome to another episode of The ODAAT Chat Podcast, my name is Arlina and I'll be your host.

After taking a break for a couple of weeks, I decided to kick off the next series with a solo episode to talk about Holding Safe Space - and the process of letting go of secrets so that you can live free of guilt and shame.

I'm going to walk you through how all this came up for me, what the process of letting go looks like for me, and how you can do it too. There will be a free downloadable worksheet available on my website at SoberLifeSchool.com.

Went to a meeting where the topic was the 4th step ( and for those of you who don't know, it's a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves).

Naturally, people also talked about step 5 which is sharing the inventory - acts of confession, but also finding self forgiveness through the loving perspective of a guild who understands what it's like to wrestle with alcoholism and addiction. There's just something about sharing with a peer who's been through it that feels safe.

Let me share the process with you that I'm borrowing right out of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous. You can take notes or download the worksheet from SoberLifeSchool.com, but here it is:

There are four columns, and in the first column, make a list of all the people you are resentful at

The second column, List the specific cause of the resentment.

The third, is what was the effect? How did the event effect you? ie. Your self esteem, ego, financial, security, personal or financial. Also, what is the underlying fear?

Finally the fourth column, what was my part in this? This is probably the hardest part, and often where we need help because when we're hurt, we are focused on OUR pain. It's hard to see that others who hurt us are often doing so IN RESPONSE to our behavior. This is where courage is required. The thing to keep in mind here is that we actually WANT to know where we went wrong, so that we don't actually CAUSE other people to hurt us.

This is often where people get tripped up and I don't want you to worry about that right now. Don't let that be the reason not to walk through this exercise, because what most people don't see right away is that this is exactly where the freedom comes from. It's in the last place you'd expect to find it. I know that was the case for me!

I'll even give you my own personal example. I have a million of them, but I'll just give you one for now:

I'll call it "Just the tip". But it's not what you think. ;)

Resentful at: Bob, my then fiancee

Cause: He gave a huge tip that I thought we couldn't afford

Effected: Self esteem, PR, financial and emotion security, (fear of I wasn't going to get what I wanted).

My part: Self righteous anger, lack of communication, Self centered pride (i know what's best), made everyone uncomfortable over a small amount of money. Control issues

Having someone walk me through the process helped me not only to see my part, but not to then go so low that I beat myself up over it, causing even more self harm. I was then able to go to the one I love and make amends - not just apologize, but to acknowledge that I see how my behavior effected him, and figure out a way to avoid situations like this in the future.

Better yet, I learned to forgive myself, and realized I the best I could with the info I had. I was able to see how I was driven by fear and that through love and empathy, I learned to improve my self esteem and love myself.

So anyway, after this meeting I went to recently, I started to wonder why some people can't let go of their shame. Or even, what people not in program do to let go of guilt and shame?

Don't want to share with someone with any connection to their circle of friends or family?

Fear of being judged?

Too much shame?

Don't have a safe person?

This is where I can help. What I want you to know is that if you are holding onto a secret that you want freedom from, I am able to hold safe space for you.

This is how it will work. You can go to SoberLifeSchool.com, look for the course called "Holding Safe Space" and register to book time with me via a Zoom online meeting. Once you place your order, you will receive a link to my calendar and you can choose a time that works for you.

Just so you know, I only have a very limited amount of time to do this, and I need to save them for people who are truly ready to be free.

Also, because the number of spots available is very limited, registration will only be open for the next 7 days. If the spots fill up quickly, then I will provide a waitlist and you will be notified as space becomes available.

If you are ready to drop the rock and experience freedom from guilt and shame, then sign up now to lock in your spot. Once you do, you will receive a link to schedule your appointment.

I know this is a scary proposition but I want to encourage you to share the secret and find empathy and forgiveness. Weather it's me, or you have a friend you trust, a therapist, or a religious person you feel safe with, I want you to take a leap of faith and let it all go.

What helped me to finally let it all go was thinking about what it would cost me if I didn't let it go. It would cost me my self esteem, it would cost me my hopes and dreams because I knew I would never allow myself to really receive the love I desperately needed to heal as long as I held onto my guilt and condemnation.

So today could be your day. Reach out to me or someone else and take that next step. Do it scared, because that means you have courage. It also means you are ready to heal and therefore help others to heal as well.

I'm here if you need me, and thanks for spending time with me today.

With gratitude,

Arlina

Or on iTunes:

Or on Google Play:

This podcast is sponsored by Audible. First book is free!

Welcome to another episode of the Odaat Chat Podcast, my name is Arlina and I'll be your host.

If you haven't yet, please subscribe on iTunes, or you can get new episodes delivered right to your inbox by signing up for the newsletter at odaatchat.com.

If you are new here, this is a podcast where my guests and I talk about how to recovery from alcoholism and addiction. We typically spend the first half of the podcast on the backstory, but the magic is really in the solution, which is what we try to focus on.

I'm looking to uncover the moments of clarity, the revelations, and the tools and practices for healing which lead to long term recovery.

So I can't wait to share the next guest with you, Author of the new book, "Bottleneck, A Drinking Memoir" by Paul Fuhr".

But before I do, I just wanted to share that...

This episode is sponsored by my free 7 day "Connection Cure Challenge - How to Overcome Isolation and Attract Your Tribe in 7 days".

I know what its like to feel overwhelmed by life, and lonely because all I want to do is isolate. But I found a solution that changed my life forever and I want to share it with you. It's a free online course with a downloadable worksheet.

So if you've ever struggled with loneliness and isolation then you absolutely need to take this challenge and experience the relief that comes from feeling supported and connected.

Sign up for free at Sober Life School

Okay, back to the new episode with Paul, who is a tireless advocate of the recovery community. He has written for The Fix, Afterparty, Klen & Sober, InRecovery, The Literary Review, The Live Oak Review and has just published his second book, "Bottleneck, A Recovery Memoir".

You can also find out more about Paul on his website here: http://www.paulfuhr.com

So first, I have to apologize to Paul for not noticing I neglected to hit "record" until we were at least 20 minutes into our FIRST conversation, which was awesome, so what you hear is really round two. Anyway, this is a wide ranging conversation with my new BFF Paul. I bet he gets that a lot too because he's sooo funny and super nice. And he laughed at all my jokes so, I gotta love him for that.

We eventually get to his story, but we also talk about the differences between our recovery groups, recovery in the corporate world, coping with a sick parent, his podcast "Drop the Needle" on iTunes (which I will be a guest on, yay!) and of course his beautifully written book which you will love. So without further delay, please enjoy this episode with Paul.

With love and gratitude,

Arlina

Alcoholism is a disease of isolation - Connection is the cure

Today I'm sharing the one tool that has kept me sober more than any other over the last 24 years :)

Hi Friend!

Welcome to another episode of the Odaat Chat, my name is Arlina and I'll be your host. If you haven't yet, don't forget to subscribe on iTunes, or you can get new episodes delivered right to your inbox by signing up for the newsletter at odaatchat.com.

If you are new here, this is a podcast where my guests and I talk about how to recovery from alcoholism and addiction. We typically spend the first half of the podcast on the backstory, but the magic is really in the solution, which is what we try to focus on.

I'm looking to uncover the moments of clarity, the revelations, and the tools and practices for healing which lead to long term recovery.

This episode is sponsored by my free 7 day "Connection Cure Challenge" - how to overcome isolation and attract your tribe in 7 days. - I know what its like to feel overwhelmed by life, and lonely because all I want to do is isolate. But I found a solution that changed my life forever and I want to share it with you. It's a free online course with a downloadable worksheet.

So if you've ever struggled with loneliness and isolation then you absolutely need to take this challenge and experience the relief that comes from feeling supported and connected.

Sign up for free at soberlifeschool.com

Today I'm talking with the world famous Tattoo artist out of Shamrock tattoo in Hollywood CA, and author of the book, Smile now, Cry Later, Guns, Gangs and Tattoos - Freddy Negrete.

His work is stunning. You can see some of his work on https://freddynegrete.com/ or his instagram at https://www.instagram.com/freddy_negrete/

He shares about what it was like growing up with a Jewish mother and a Mexican father, around gang members in the neighborhood. We go over how he got caught up in that world, the drugs, crime and violence and losing his son to drugs. Ultimately he shares how he was able to transform his life, and how he helps others through the book he published with his good friend, Steve Jones.

I would like to thank Amy Dresner for hooking me up with such an awesome guest, and Steve Jones for helping me set up the interview and of course Freddy for being willing to share from the heart, so that others might be given the hope of recovery.

So with that, please enjoy this episode with Freddy!

Today's episode is sponsored by my free "7 Day Connection Cure Challenge - How to attract your tribe and overcome isolation. If you've ever struggled with isolation, then you absolutely need to take this challenge and experience the relief that comes from feeling supported and connected.

Sign up for free at soberlifeschool.com

On the podcast today, I'm speaking with my new friend Susanne Navas. You know, sometimes you meet people and think, wow, how can someone be so calm, yet so powerful? Well that's Susanne. She has completed multiple Ironman races, she coaches other people to run marathons, she's a life coach, a yoga instructor and a self described "mindfulprenure" all while raising 3 kids and being married! And she's also speaking at this year's "She Recovers" event in LA in September! She's absolutely amazing..

We chat about her childhood for about the first 20 minutes before we even talk about her struggles with alcohol because she had such a unique experience spending part of her high school years growing up in Mexico.

In this conversation she also shares how some of her friends were parents of children who died in the Sandy Hook shooting, and how some were able to cope with such a tragic situation.

I also want to encourage you to listen to the end for what I call her "evidence of God" story. Just by chance we stumble into this story that was so powerful it touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes twice! The first time when she told me and again when I was editing the podcast! It's one of those stories that makes your faith a little deeper and heals your heart just a little bit more.

If you would like to connect with Susanne, you can find her on her here:

Website: http://www.therebootcoach.net/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susannenavas

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulpreneur/

So with that, please enjoy this episode, with Susanne!

OC56- Duane Lauder - Host of "Sober For Life Radio". Being adopted, Jail, Drug Addiction and Finding Recovery

Well Hi Friend! I'm so gald you are here!

If you are new here, this is a podcast where my guests and I talk about how to recovery from alcoholism and addiction. We typically spend the first half of the podcast on the backstory, but the magic is really in the solution, which is what we try to focus on.

I'm looking to uncover the moments of clarity, the revelations, and the tools and practices for healing which lead to long term recovery.

Today's episode is brought to you by Sober Life School.com. If you struggle with things like Isolation, Relationships or Relapse, I've got a course for you!

Check it out at SoberLifeSchool.com I'd like to invite you to try the free course called "The connection cure challenge - 7 days to building your tribe". Get some of your friends to do it with you for a little extra accountability!

So on the podcast today, I have a special interview with Duane Lauder, host of The Sober for life Radio. Duane has a special place in my heart. The way he loves God and he has used his love for music to spread the word of recovery means a lot to me personally. And Duane is an example of someone who has found a way that works for him, outside the conventional 12 step process.

You can find Duane on social media here:

https://www.facebook.com/lawderduane

https://www.facebook.com/soberforliferadio/

Listen to his station here: https://soberforliferadio.com/

Over the 24 years I've been in recovery, I've seen a lot of different ways that work and a lot that don't. In the end, if what you're doing works, then keep doing it!

So with that, please enjoy this episode, with Duane!

With love & gratitude,

Arlina

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Well Hi Friend! So gald you are here!

Welcome to ODAAT Chat, my name is Arlina and I'll be your host. In case you didn't know, ODAAT stands for "one day at a time". If you haven't yet, don't forget to subscribe on iTunes, or you can get new episodes delivered right to your inbox by signing up for the newsletter at odaatchat.com.

The purpose of this podcast, is bring you stories from people who suffered through addiction and alcoholism and found a way out to lead happy purposeful lives. I also wanted to share the teachers, ideas and exercises that have helped me on my own journey over the last 24 years.

Today I have a special announcement that I'm beyond excited to share with you. I'm launching Sober Life School where you will find step by step courses like, "The Connection cure - 3 steps to overcoming isolation", "Sobriety Reset: Back-to-Basics" class, and "Relationship Rescue - How to resolve resentment and reconnect with the one you love". I hope you find it a valuable resource for yourself and members of our sober community. I look forward to connecting with you there at soberlifeschool.com

So I'm honored to introduce the guest for today's episode. Tess Sweet is an award-winning director and writer, known for Cleaner Daze (2017), I Love You Like Crazy (2011) and Annie in the Aisle of Irma (2010). In 2011, Sweet graduated with an M.F.A. from the film and television directing program at the University of California at Los Angeles. Sweet now resides in the Bay Area, where she works as a freelance director and editor, serves as president of Loud and Clean, and runs programs for with at-risk youth.

Tess shares her story about her own struggles with drugs and alcohol, her battle with cancer and work as an artist and producer. Lucky for me, Tess lives close enough that she was able to come to my studio to record in person. Let me just tell you, her name suits her. I found her to be beautiful, fun, deeply compassionate and truly authentic. I know after this episode, you'll love her as much as I do.

So with that, please enjoy this episode, with lovely, Tess Sweet.

With love & gratitude,

Arlina