Colleen Patrick Goudreau is author, most recently, of The Joyful Vegan.

It's a book about joy, yes, but joy as a strategic imperative in a world that is relentless in trying to undermine our resolve about living compassionate and brave lives.

While steadfastness and willpower and outrage can provide bursts of energy for our journey, Goudreau asserts, it's joy that gives us the long-burning, clean fuel that allows us to come from love and compassion and understanding in all our interactions.

We talked about a pivotal moment in Goudreau's life and activism – when she encountered a group of dove hunters and opened her heart – and her stance – instead of reacting out of the judgment and fear that was coursing through her body. And how from that point on, she cultivated her ability to drop into that loving place even in the face of fierce and disrespectful opposition.

We talked about her book, The Joyful Vegan, as a manual for not only becoming vegan, but staying vegan. About the natural phases that one goes through, and how to navigate them with skill, mindfulness, and self-compassion.

If you're vegan, this conversation will give you new tools and perspectives to become a more effective advocate and role model.

If you're not vegan, this conversation will help you understand veganism better, not as a militant and restrictive view of the world, but a creative and compassionate stance to do the best we can in an imperfect and often hard world.

Enjoy, add your voice to the conversation via the comment box below, and please share – that's how we spread our message and spread our roots.

Links

The Joyful Vegan on amazon

Colleen Patrick Goudreau's website

Website for The Joyful Vegan

Support the Podcast

This podcast is not underwritten by advertising, so I can experience complete editorial autonomy without worrying about pissing off the person paying the bills. Instead, I pay the bills, with your help. It's free for those who can't afford to pay, and supported by those who can. You can contribute to the growth and improvement of the podcast by . Click the “Support on Patreon” or “Donate” buttons on the right to help out.

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Music

The Plant Yourself Podcast theme music, “Dance of Peace (Sabali Don),” is generously provided by Will Ridenour, a kora player from North Carolina who has trained with top Senegalese musicians.

It can be found on his first CD, titled Will Ridenour.

You can learn about Will, listen to more tracks, and buy music on his website,

After the third consecutive night of no sleep, I was starting to lose it.

Our newborn daughter, who had looked so sweet and angelic in the moments right after her birth (9 on the APGAR – you go, girl!) had morphed into a demonic nighttime presence.

She needed less sleep than any human I had ever encountered. And when she did snooze, she did so with hair-trigger sensitivity to the environmental cues to full alertness: an adult cranium touching a pillow, an eyelid closing and not reopening within a tenth of a second.

As I walked around the bedroom, holding and bouncing her, for the third hour in a row (FitBit, where were you when I needed you?), I was struck by what seemed like a really good idea: go through my Rolodex (yes, an actual Rolodex – look it up, kids) and see who might want a baby to raise for the next 18 years or so.

Thankfully, my wife talked me out of it (or we went through our contacts and didn't want to bother them with a phone call at 3am, I honestly can't remember which), and so we kept on parenting.

Years of sleepless nights ensued, and approximately 18 months after our daughter began sleeping through the night, we met our newborn son, thus establishing with scientific precision the outer limits of human memory. And he was not much of a sleeper either.

In fact, it's only now, when they're 24 and 20 years old, respectively, that I'm truly starting to catch up on the Lost Years of Shuteye. It's like student loans, only nobody talked about forgiving my sleep debt at the Bernie rally last week.

And I tell you this not to brag.

Really.

If you want me to brag, I can probably muster up some stuff.

But taking care of tiny screaming babies in the middle of the night – every night – never felt like a choice.

At least not after the Rolodex.

Sometime's It's Not a Choice

Sometimes it just has to be done.

That's not precisely true, of course. There are plenty of stories of parents abandoning their kids, neglecting them, ignoring their needs, imposing well-intentioned “self-soothing” periods.

But to me and my wife, tending to our kids at night never felt optional. We knew that no matter what, if we had strength and breath, we'd cuddle them, change them, feed them, change them, burp them, change them, sing to them, take their temperature, tell them a story, change them, and so on.

We were in total Giving Tree mode for years. (“‘Come, kids, teethe on my fingers. Pee on my shirt. And then you will be, if not happy, mollified for a minute and a half.”)

If parenting at that level had required motivation, we would have failed. There's no amount of motivation that would have fueled our nightly care routines for that long. Tony Robbins could go suck a garden hose for all the good “getting us into state” would have done.

If parenting under those conditions required self-discipline and willpower, we would have failed. We were so ego-depleted by 3am that I probably would have been willing to sell my eternal soul to the Devil for an uninterrupted 20-minute nap in a made bed.

There weren't any self-help books that would have helped. There was no missing knowledge, no absent skills. There was nothing complex about the actions we had to take, night after night, day after day, to keep these little beings alive and well. We just had to DO, and DO, and DO, over and over and over again.

If it hadn't felt totally and completely non-negotiable, we would have failed.

Sure, there were strategies that made it easier. (My favorite one was not lactating, which meant there were times that I could stay in bed because I was useless. Sorry, Hon.)

Entire bookshelves at Barnes & Noble were devoted to techniques and hacks and tools and mindsets to help us get our kids to go to sleep and stay asleep.

Some of them worked, to a certain extent.

Thoughts on the episode? Let us know.

After the third consecutive night of no sleep, I was starting to lose it.Our newborn daughter, who had looked so sweet and angelic in the moments right after her birth (9 on the APGAR - you go, girl!) had morphed into a demonic nighttime presence.She needed less sleep than any human I had ever encountered. And when she did snooze, she did so with hair-trigger sensitivity to the environmental cues to full alertness: an adult cranium touching a pillow, an eyelid closing and not reopening within a tenth of a second.

Click to subscribe to the Mindset Mastery Memo.

Support the show

Thoughts on the episode? Let us know.

Brad Stulberg returns to the podcast to discuss his latest book, The Passion Paradox, co-written with Steve Magness.They wrote the book mostly for themselves, which is how a lot of great self-help books begin. Basically, they had learned a lot of weird and contradictory lessons about passion and how to harness and incorporate it into their lives.On the one hand, we're supposed to "follow our passion."On the other hand, we're supposed to lead a "balanced life."Well, guess what? You can have a passionate life, or a balanced life. So which do you choose?

Click to subscribe to the Mindset Mastery Memo.

Support the show

Brad Stulberg returns to the podcast to discuss his latest book, The Passion Paradox, co-written with Steve Magness.

They wrote the book mostly for themselves, which is how a lot of great self-help books begin. Basically, they had learned a lot of weird and contradictory lessons about passion and how to harness and incorporate it into their lives.

On the one hand, we're supposed to “follow our passion.”

On the other hand, we're supposed to lead a “balanced life.”

Well, guess what? You can have a passionate life, or a balanced life. So which do you choose?

The other piece of advice they wrestled with in the book was, “Find your passion.” The problem is, that's often the punch line. The end of the sermon.

Stulberg and Magness asked, “Now what?” Once you have a passion, how do you avoid turning it into an unhealthy obsession? How do you stay creative and joyful when the pressures of performance or competition threaten to consume you?

We talked about these questions, and others. I began by asking Brad about cultivating and maintaining the passion that many of us feel about promoting a healthy, plant-based lifestyle. Should we turn it into a career, like I did? What if we're passionate about something that isn't our day job? Does that mean something's wrong, or missing, or suboptimal about our lives?

And what about that “balance” thing? How do we stay well and happy and grounded living an unbalanced life? Isn't that a recipe for burnout?

Most of us long to go “all in” on at least one thing. This book provides a blueprint, road map, and inspiration for that journey to inner alignment and outer achievement.

Enjoy, add your voice to the conversation via the comment box below, and please share – that's how we spread our message and spread our roots.

Links

The Passion Paradox, by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness

Peak Performance, by Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness

Brad's website

The Growth Equation

Support the Podcast

This podcast is not underwritten by advertising, so I can experience complete editorial autonomy without worrying about pissing off the person paying the bills. Instead, I pay the bills, with your help. It's free for those who can't afford to pay, and supported by those who can. You can contribute to the growth and improvement of the podcast by . Click the “Support on Patreon” or “Donate” buttons on the right to help out.

Announcements

Come on retreat with me and Josh LaJaunie! Next opening is June 4-7 in Pittsboro, North Carolina. Check it out and apply here.

Ready to embark on your Big Change journey?

Are you tired of knowing what to do, and still not doing it consistently? The WellStart Health Big Change Program, led by Josh LaJaunie and myself, will help you take the steps to finally live according to your knowledge and values.

Go to WellStartHealth.com/program to learn more, and to get notified about the next program.

Ask your questions or share your feedback

Comment on the show notes for this episode (below)

Connect with me

Subscribe, rate, and review in iTunes

Join the Plant Yourself Facebook Page

Music

The Plant Yourself Podcast theme music, “Dance of Peace (Sabali Don),” is generously provided by Will Ridenour,

Thoughts on the episode? Let us know.

I'll never forget my daughter's first birthday party. On a chilly February afternoon, a bunch of friends and relatives gathered at our house to share the joy of the event. We had decorations, presents, singing, and of course birthday cake.Everything went well, until the cake.

Click to subscribe to the Mindset Mastery Memo.

Support the show

Today's Friday Fertilizer is sponsored by Valentine's Day, and the June 2020 Sick to Fit Retreat in North Carolina. Read all about it here.

I'll never forget my daughter's first birthday party. On a chilly February afternoon, a bunch of friends and relatives gathered at our house to share the joy of the event. We had decorations, presents, singing, and of course birthday cake.

Everything went well, until the cake.

Being good hippie-ish parents, my wife and I had decided that we were going to raise our kids on healthy food only. We made our own organic baby food (it was pretty damn good, actually). No fast food. No refined sugar.

And then our daughter took that first bite of chocolate birthday cake, the one with the raspberry jam between each of three layers of cake, with the rich chocolate icing.

At first, she was shocked.

Then, wide-eyed with delight.

Then, frenzied with the effort of stuffing as much of it as she possibly could into her mouth as fast as she could.

And then – and I'll never forget this moment as long as I live – her eyes swiveled around to look at me and my wife, and she gave us this look brimming with outrage. It said, “You've kept this from me for an entire year! How dare you!”

Love at First Sight

For my daughter, chocolate cake was love at first sight, or should I say, love at first bite.

And to this day, she still enjoys a good slice of cake from time to time.

And many of us have experienced love at first sight, or LAFS, in one form or another.

Heck, I can tell you all the girls I loved at first sight, starting with Diana S in first grade. (The fact that few of them knew I existed did nothing to dim my ardor.)

There's nothing wrong with love at first sight. According to some psychologists, there are times when we know instantly that we've found our soul mate, and it isn't just a matter of biased memory. It's not just a phenomenon limited to mating or masticating or other words starting with M that trigger our pleasure center; I had a LAFS experience of Ultimate Frisbee at Camp Ramah in 1977. And of the doggerel of Ogden Nash in 1981. And my first visit to Yankee Stadium after it reopened in 1976.

So what's the problem with LAFS?

The Problem with LAFS

LAFS is misnamed. It's not really love, not in the deep, abiding sense. Instead, LAFS experiences are typically centered around attraction and pleasure, rather than qualities like passion, commitment, and intimacy.

Think about a person that you love deeply and have for a while. You may not be infatuated with them anymore, but you likely derive far greater personal satisfaction from the seasoning of your relationship.

As Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness write in The Passion Paradox, the whole idea of soul mates originated pretty late in human civilization, with the Romantic movement of the nineteenth century. Before then, most societies saw love as a thing that a couple built through time, rather than a prerequisite for getting together: “more a process of cultivation than an instant connection.”

If you think in terms of finding your destined soul mate and recognizing them instantly by the heady rush of LAFS, researchers have found, you're more likely to end your relationship the minute things start getting rocky. Any problem, whether disagreeing on which way the toilet paper hangs (there is a correct answer, by the way, although what it is it depends on if you have cats or not) or arguing over roles and responsibilities in the relationship, becomes proof that this just wasn't meant to be.

Thoughts on the episode? Let us know.

Carolyn Raffensperger has been advocating for the environment since 1982. She's currently executive director of the Science and Environmental Health Network, and a tireless proponent of the Precautionary Principle when it comes to balancing economic and environmental impacts.

Click to subscribe to the Mindset Mastery Memo.

Support the show

Carolyn Raffensperger has been advocating for the environment since 1982. She's currently executive director of the Science and Environmental Health Network, and a tireless proponent of the Precautionary Principle when it comes to balancing economic and environmental impacts.

Raffensperger sees the environmental movement's best strategy to reverse the destruction of our planet as one of civil rights litigation. Governments, at their core, are here to keep safe the commons upon which all life depends: clean air, clean water, clean soil. She argues that our current policies are violating the “Rights of the Unborn” to a clean and healthy environment.

The Precautionary Principle sounds fancy, but you know by its more common names: Better safe than sorry; Look before you leap; and the Hippocratic Oath: First, do no harm.

Basically, policy grounded in the Precautionary Principle reverses the burden of proof. Right now, a corporation can pollute streams and land and air with impunity, unless some injured party can prove that the pollutants are damaging their health. And given the imbalance in resources between wealthy industrial interests and poor and marginalized communities poisoned by their chemicals, that proof is often impossible to come by. At least, before it's too late.

Right now, Raffensperger points out, the economy always gets the benefit of the doubt in any conflict with the environment. Growth is sacred, while trees and rivers are utilitarian. Polluter avoid financial responsibility for their actions, while ordinary people suffer.

What would our world be like, Raffensperger wonders, if we thought of ourselves as “Guardians of Future Generations”? How would we function as a society if our highest goal was to be considered “Beloved Ancestors” by those yet unborn?

In our conversation, we talk about the current mess, strategies to shift policies and perspectives, and the illusions that many of us still cling to, against all evidence (i.e., “tech will save us”).

This isn't a fun or easy conversation, but a hugely important one. I don't want to be part of the generation of whom future humans say, “How could they do this to us when they knew?”

Enjoy, add your voice to the conversation via the comment box below, and please share – that's how we spread our message and spread our roots.

Links

Science and Environmental Health Network

Carolyn Raffensperger's TEDx Talk

Sarah Thomsen, River Dream song

Rewilding Iowa and Beyond – Facebook group

Support the Podcast

This podcast is not underwritten by advertising, so I can experience complete editorial autonomy without worrying about pissing off the person paying the bills. Instead, I pay the bills, with your help. It's free for those who can't afford to pay, and supported by those who can. You can contribute to the growth and improvement of the podcast by . Click the “Support on Patreon” or “Donate” buttons on the right to help out.

Ready to embark on your Big Change journey?

Are you tired of knowing what to do, and still not doing it consistently? The WellStart Health Big Change Program, led by Josh LaJaunie and myself, will help you take the steps to finally live according to your knowledge and values.

Go to WellStartHealth.com/program to learn more, and to get notified about the next program.

Ask your questions or share your feedback

Comment on the show notes for this episode (below)

When we adopt a new habit, we often experience a honeymoon period. Partly it's our enthusiasm and motivation at the first flush of hope and desire, and partly we've chosen this time to start because it's particularly convenient or easy.

But the universe will test our resolve not too long after that. It can feel like slamming into a brick wall at the end of a runway.

The weather will get shitty, and your morning walk will become unpleasant, treacherous, or even impossible.

You'll strain your back muscles and have to rest and rehab instead of continuing your 5k training.

You'll get sick, or your kid will get sick, and you won't have the time and energy to devote to shopping for and prepping your big salad or green smoothie.

You'll resent the obstacle. It will feel unfair.

It's like the universe is telling you, “Nope. Not for you.”

But that's not what's going on at all.

The Obstacle is the Way

The universe is actually moving on your behalf here.

The universe first of all wants to know, “Are you serious about this change?”

It wants to see commitment. Resolve. Resilience. Hunger for betterment.

And second, the universe wants to harden you up. Because life isn't easy, or convenient. That's not the story you incarnated into.

Something is always going to get in the way.

As the stoics knew, the obstacles are there not to piss you off or make you give up in despair.

They are there to make you stronger.

just like a beloved teacher will keep challenging you with harder and harder work once you master the easy stuff.

Choose Your Own Adventure

Maybe your next step is to make friends with shitty weather. Our ancestors didn't have a choice in that regard, but you do.

Maybe your next step is to bounce back from the muscle sprain to prove to yourself that this time will be different from all the times you quit in the past.

Maybe your next step is to ask for help with the shopping and food prep – from a partner, from a nearby sibling; from a neighbor – instead of being so damn proud and self-reliant.

The alternative – feeling sorry for yourself – will get you exactly nothing.

And it's hard to describe the exhilaration that arises when you look at obstacle in the eye and refuse to back down. When you regard the obstacle as a challenge, as a sparring partner, as a stone upon which to sharpen the blade of your resolve.

Platform 9 and ¾

In the Harry Potter series, young British wizards and witches have to get to Platform 9 and ¾ at Kings Cross Station to catch the Hogwarts Express. The catch is, you can't just walk there. The only way to access the platform is to run through a brick barrier at full tilt, pushing your luggage trolley ahead of you.

You can't walk up to the barrier and gingerly lean your way through it. You can't sidle up and casually stick a foot into the enchanted bricks.

There's no safe way – or rather, there's no way that feels safe to your rational mind – of crossing the barrier.

The barrier is not an actual physical barrier. It's an illusion. But a very convincing illusion.

And that's what makes it an effective sentinel of the threshold between past and future. Your comfortable and stale old identity and your scary and exciting new one. Crossing the barrier requires courage. Commitment. And the triumph of faith over doubt.

And like all barriers, the one guarding Platform 9 and ¾ looks like it's there to hinder you, to get in your way, to slow you down or stop you outright.

But that's part and parcel of the illusion.

Obstacles are Slingshots

Let's take two hypothetical people who have decided to do a Couch to 5k program, Anne and Beth. Anne clears time every morning, and makes steady progress on her daily walks and jogs for 60 days straight.

Beth, on the other hand,