The SelfWork Podcast

  Dr. Jennifer Ashton of ABC News was interviewed this week as she revealed the suicidal death of her ex-husband. She stated quite clearly that he displayed none of the signs of depression that she had studied in medical school. None of them. I need to read her new book on surviving the suicide of […]

The post 128 SelfWork: What Happens When You Quit Perfectly Hiding Depression? You Find Grief. appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

There are many ways of creating problems in relationships, but there are two manipulations that are sometimes harder to see than out and out contempt or defensiveness. They are stonewalling, basically “the silent treatment” and gaslighting, when someone tries to undermine your own perceptions to the point where you distrust your own mind. The first […]

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Do you find satisfaction and fulfillment at work? You spend many hours there so if you don’t, that can be a huge problem. In this episode, I’ve found some experts on the workplace to discuss this vital issue. What do studies show are the most important factors in being happy at work? The results are […]

The post 126 SelfWork: What Makes Your Work Life… Work? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Social anxiety and shyness often get confused, but they’re far from the same. So what is social anxiety? What happens when you suffer from it? And what can you do about it? I’ll offer six steps to consider, as once again, we focus on “what you can do about it.” The listener email today is […]

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Childhood neglect can be much more confusing to work through. It’s abuse all right. But its message was just as harsh as physical beatings or harsh punishment. What is that message? That you weren’t worth feeding, or being educated. Whatever physical or emotional pain you had didn’t matter. What you experienced simply didn’t matter. And […]

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I’ve had the pleasure of working with several people who’ve come to me due to my writing about perfectionism and perfectly hidden depression. So we’re going to be talking about the fear of losing your edge – the edge that you believe keeps you on your toes, keeps you doing better, doing more, doing doing doing… […]

The post 123 SelfWork: Are You Afraid of Losing Your Edge? Challenging Perfectionism in the Workplace appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

What’s love addiction? Some people use the term to describe someone who’s constantly seeking relationships. But today we’re talking about how you can be addicted to the drama of a relationship – addicted to breaking up and getting back together – addicted to the very edginess and even arguing that can be involved. We’ll look […]

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Trauma. Sometimes even hearing that word can make all of us cringe. Trauma is the emotional response to an event or experience occurring that was tragic and life-altering, such as a tornado, war, or a rape. You are said to be “traumatized.”  We all have unique responses to it. And ways to combat the fear, […]

The post 121 SelfWork: Recovering from Trauma and How to Recreate a Sense of Safety appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Disappointment is hard to hear, and sometimes hard to reveal, but it’s also inevitable in a relationship. Whether it’s a one-time event or there’s a pattern that’s been established, there’s a way to work them out. But it takes emotional maturity and realizing that each time you work through a disappointment together, you build trust. […]

The post 120 SelfWork: The Role of Disappointment in Relationships: How Much Is Too Much? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

Vulnerability is a topic near and dear to my heart because I believe it’s so important to true change and growth. As prominent researcher and author Dr. Brené Brown says, “You can’t get to change without vulnerability.. period.” Vulnerability requires opening up, letting others in and telling your truth. Most of my most obvious vulnerability […]

The post 119 SelfWork: Why Risk Telling Your Truth? Why Risk Vulnerability? appeared first on Dr. Margaret Rutherford.