The Slumflower Hour

Would you rather settle or compromise? Have you explored the difference between settling and compromising? Are you his dream girl or are you his intermediary space-filler while he uses you to get good enough for his dream girl?

In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses why compromise isn't as bad as we think it is - and the ways men compromise in their partnerships with women too. We also touch on many women conflating compromise with settling, and why identifying that distinction could save you years of heartache and under-satisfaction.

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Are you addicted to dating apps? Has your pursuit for love become so persistent that you are willing to just accept whoever comes into your life? Are you dampening your ambitions to satisfy the man you're dating?

In this episode, The Slumflower muses on the mistakes we make when we sell ourselves short in the hopes of fast-tracking a romantic connection. We also discuss whether long-distance relationships are a good idea, and why many women develop depression from a failing relationship.

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Is sex different with celebrity men vs regular men? Are the women who think they’re better than sex workers aware they’re casually giving men free access to the same sex other women benefit from? Do men deserve bareback privileges?

In this episode, The Slumflower talks about holding out vs giving in, being more likely to slip into 'friends with benefits' scenarios because you are driven by your sexual urges, as well as the issue of sending men nudes...

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Is the 'talking stage' even a real thing or is that man securing you as his placeholder? Do we need better boundaries with men who we are granting the chance to get to know us? Should we be making men work harder for our phone numbers?

In this episode, join Chidera as she troubleshoots the 'talking stage' and debunks the common male hesitancy to be more affirmative and enthusiastic in their pursuit of you, while she visits the various ways men use the 'talking stage' as a way to buy themselves more of your time that they are wasting.

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Should we be more 'unrealistic' in our desires and demands of men? Are we benefiting from holding back on giving men a taste of their own medicine? Does our definition of 'savage' need to change?

In this episode, Chidera discusses why it matters to match a man's arrogance, why you need to stop explaining yourself to men and why it's important to hold space for the things you don't find attractive about him - no matter how much you fancy him, as a means of staying grounded without becoming grandiose in your attraction to him.

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Is it always a compliment when a man is obsessed with you? Should women be striving more for devotion in men they date? Does a man being obsessed with you mean he will meet your needs?

In this episode, The Slumflower shares stories of men she's had to block due to obsession, along with a discussion on what makes obsession and devotion different - even though women seem to conflate the two concepts.

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Are men right when they say women are 'too emotional'? Do we give our power away by crying in front of men about their actions? Should we be more strategic in how we present our sensitivity?

In this episode, join The Slumflower as she covers the conundrum of feeling stupid after over-reacting, learning to communicate your feelings to men without gaslighting yourself/downplaying what you truly want to say, leaving the comfort zone of over-sharing your emotions with guys, and resisting the urge to share subliminal social media posts when you're feeling triggered.

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If you are an older woman who is dating a significantly younger man, have you explored the possibility that he may have a mommy kink? Are you a light-skinned woman dating a dark-skinned Black man? Have you considered the possibility that he might be anti-Black if all his dating history is mixed race/white women? Or maybe you might be a fat woman on the dating scene - have you ever considered that you deserve to leverage your uniqueness even further?

In this episode, join The Slumflower as she visits the various ways men fetishise women - and ways that women can make that same fetishisation work in their favour if they so wish.

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Do you find yourself trying to be strong when ignoring men back, only to find yourself caving and giving into your urges to hear from him? Do you feel bad about mirroring a man's energy? Do you have a scarcity mindset with men and dating?

In this episode, Chidera discusses the importance of having an emotional anchor to refer to when you start to ‘forget’ why you’re upset with that man, learning how to use pain as a focal point to guide your behaviour when interacting with a guy, and allowing yourself to experience dating hot guys, broke guys, popular guys and other iterations of men who can't do anything substantial for you - in order to rid yourself of the FOMO and curiosity and in turn, have a more focused outlook when dating with your future in mind.

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Is it really a good thing when a guy comes back? Are you his emotional crutch? Did someone else reject him and as a result, he’s come to seek comfort in you?

In this episode, Chidera discusses why you probably should keep him on ice and stand your ground, why you need to start demanding reparations from repeat apologists, believing more in your sauce as the woman he's suddenly returned to, and making him work to earn the same spot in your life that he once took for granted. This is your world and the rules are yours to create and shape as you go along.

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